It�s been said that the definition of a meeting is where minutes are taken and hours are wasted. For the most part, I would have to agree. So, being just as tired of my time being wasted as the next gal, I thought I�d have a little fun this past week.

I decided to do a little experiment, and infuse some of my favorite quotes from music into my meetings. I�d hoped that by doing this, I could cut the meetings short. But if not, at least I�d be entertaining myself.

First, there was the meeting in which complex project management processes were being explained to us under the umbrella of �how to be innovative.� Just fill out this form! Of course � why didn�t I think of that? Then, the form gets approved by 50 people and bam! Now, you can start innovating!

I was exhausted. First, you shouldn�t have to fill out a form to be innovative. Second, if you do have to fill out a form, it shouldn�t take 20 minutes to explain. Visions of Gary Coleman kept coming to mind, and I couldn�t seem to get the phrase �What�choo talkin� �bout, Willis?� out of my head.

Instead, I thought about framing my question appropriately, using the proper words so as not to offend the management types. Then, I remembered my experiment.

Jay Z was perfect. So, I stood up, placed a thoughtful hand under my chin and belted out, �Can I get a WHAT WHAT?� just like in the song.

Apparently, not many 50-something white men listen to Jay Z. The result was 20 more minutes about filling out the form. But remember, my second goal was to entertain myself. I accomplished that, felt smug and grinned and bore the rest of the meeting.

My next meeting was more a more intimate setting � just me and one other. Kind of like two people on a warm summer�s eve, on a train bound for nowhere. Except it wasn�t warm. Or an evening. But we were definitely bound for nowhere, so I figured a little Kenny Rogers would fit the bill.

This person kept droning on and on about a program that wasn�t working. Of course, the obvious answer of �stop doing it� wasn�t acceptable. Because then he�d have to admit it wasn�t working.

Whatever. He really wanted me to help him save this dying dog, but sometimes, it is simply better to put things to sleep. It was getting to be 5:00, and I was tired, so I looked at him and said, �For a taste of some whiskey, I�ll give you my advice�� pause. Apparently, that line from �The Gambler� didn�t work. This guy doesn�t keep whiskey in his bottom file drawer. Not that I do, of course.

So I ended up with �You�ve got to know when to walk away, and know when to run.�

At least this guy had heard the song. And while he may not have appreciated my presentation of the facts, they were indeed the facts. Meeting adjourned. Both of my goals � shorter meeting and self-entertainment � were accomplished!

My music taste is quite eclectic, and I even own more CDs than the amount of meetings I have to attend in a month. (That�s a lot!) My third try at using music quotes to end a bad meeting came from my good friends Fountains of Wayne.

It�s a quote I�ve used often, whether it comes to eating better, exercising more or, in fact, framing my questions at work more appropriately, so as not to offend the management types. As a matter of fact, in this particular meeting, I was asked to do just that. My reply was simple, and just like the song says.

�I tried to change, but I changed my mind.�

Believe it or not, my boss seemed OK with that. And if he�s OK, I�m OK. After all, he may not be too different from me. I imagine that for both of us, trying to survive meetings is just like Jimmy Buffett said, �If I couldn�t laugh, I just would go insane!�

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