Nerd Date #1 -Walking Tour

I wanted to share some pictures from the fun date I had with my husband yesterday.

 I am slightly obsessed with New York City, and so is my husband, if you guys didn't know, but I am also incredibly broke all the time. As much as I would like to visit NYC often or move there, it ain't gonna happen with our current income, so we went on a walking tour of the Chelsea neighborhood of New York via Google Street View. My lottery plan is to live in the building in the top picture, and so we wandered around the neighborhood looking for the best routes to the Chelsea Market, where I will someday accost Food Network Stars and make them be my BFFs whether they like it or not.

Anyway, it was a little goofy but really fun, so I thought I would put the idea out there so other people can utilize my virtual walking tour. Just pick a place you would love to visit, pull it up on Google Street View, and "walk" around together. And remember, many museums have interactive tours online too, so you can visit all kinds of cool places right from the comfort of your home and no one gets mad if you aren't wearing pants.


(All pictures screencapped from fullscreen street view using Google Maps)

2012 Cheesy Wrap Up

Happy New Year's Eve Eve, Cheeseblargians!

I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year, with all of the LOLs and NOMs and UNFs you could hope for. I also wish me the same because I am fairly self-centered.

I come bearing a ton of funny for the end of the year, in the form of  my comic, CRAP! which you should be reading and sharing, though most of you aren't which is a bit discouraging, but today, we reach the crux of what the comic is really about, so maybe that will be the camel straw that makes people actually respond to what I am doing so I am not just drawing this damned thing only to amuse myself (though it really really does amuse me, greatly... because I know what is going to happen). Be a hipster, like it before everyone else does!

Click the previews below to get to the comic page, which, for the unobservant, is also up in the right corner of the new navigation bar (^ that a-way)

Instead of posting them as separate posts, I'm archiving all of them here and on Tumbler, which I am now using, but as you see, I am inserting the E in there, right where it belongs. Future postings should be posted at the bottom of new posts in the same form as above.

Also, my Tard the Grumpy Cat drawing is in the I Can Has Cats t-shirt contest at We Love Fine, and if you wanted to rate that shit, that would be super awesome PLUS helping funny artists is good for your New Year karma, I've been told.

click the picture to go vote!

I also wanted to share this awesome drawing of me (the real me- I actually have a nose) done by reader Milina P. because it is friggen awesome. I love it when you guys draw me, or my characters, or llama narwhal hybrids. <3

Wonder JRose!

And this was sent to me overnight by reader Amanda E. who bought me the cake I desperately wanted that they don't sell in the Northwest. It was delicious, Amanda, thank you! You continue to RULE!  =D

And that's all. It has been a pretty cool year.  I hope next year will hold more posts, comic stories and fun exciting things, including me winning the lottery or somehow becoming independently wealthy so I can take a trip to the Grand Canyon finally, and go back to NYC so I can stalk  my College Humor crush, Emily visit my favorite city ever without getting robbed again, and maybe finally find out what the hell that smell is under Grand Central Station. 

So again, Happy New Year's! I love you guys... and I'm not even drunk!

Cheeseblarg OUT!

See you next year! 

   

New News is Good News

There have been good reasons for my quietness, that is, not necessarily acceptable, but GOOD, like, I enjoyed them sort of good, you know, the opposite of unfortunate.

Some of it is news, like:

OMG, MY ART IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN TIMES SQUARE, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Remember me begging for votes? I know, which time, right? Well, the time I was doing it asking people to click "COLLECT ME" so I could have my art shown in Times Square. That time. After one last big push, I got enough votes so that my art will be shown on a billboard in Times Square, NYC. Which art? I don't really know. They haven't told me. Will I be there? Not bloody likely. UNLESS they choose me as a finalist and I make $10k as a result, which would only happen with more votes, but nevertheless HOLY SHIT, TIMES SQUARE, MAN! June 18th. I need pictures of it if any New York City dwellers could go check it out for me.

And OMG, I AM WORKING ON MY NOVEL AGAIN! 

JRose, we were unaware you were working on a novel. Yeah, I know, that is why it is news. It's a sci-fi novel, set way in the future... on the MOON. I started it several years ago and it has been nagging at me and  so I am working on it again. And I am telling people I am working on it so they make me continue to work on it because it is an awesome premise and I am surprisingly, sometimes, a pretty damned good writer (which is an opinion I formed when I reread what I wrote 5 years ago).

Only I haven't worked on it for three days because I was feverishly reading:

11/22/63: A Novel by Stephen King, and it was my favorite book of his so far. Most likely because it revolved around time travel and time travel is my favorite plot point of all time. EVER (Surprisingly, the book I am writing has no time travel at all, because I don't think I can do it justice, and because it doesn't fit with what I need to write about, although, since it happens in the future, it is kind of my way of time traveling, but I digress...). You guys should know by now that I suck at reviews, but this book had a great balance of the usual suspense of a King novel without the choking detail that makes you want to punch yourself in the face. I stopped doing everything to read it because I needed to know what happened next. I even looked into ways to waterproof my Kindle so that I could read while bathing so I didn't have to stop. Seriously, it is awesome. And I didn't give a festering bowl of dog snot about Lee Harvey Oswald (the main topic of the book) before I read it, so you don't have to care, either, to read and enjoy it.

Pocket in the Sea by E. Stoops

Another book by my friend who wrote Being Emelle, this book is an alternative history fiction about paranormals, and submarines, and is an interesting and enjoyable homoerotic romp. It was a little confusing in the beginning as to what exactly was happening, but as I kept reading, it all wove together and made perfect sense. 

And now, I have the house to myself for three weeks, so hopefully, I will get lots of writing done and things will happen that will spur great blarg posts, and maybe Jason Segel will agree to be my internet boyfriend/celebrity endorser.

I'm sure I can work out the details with my husband.

We HEART New York!

I knew ordering "Swords Daily" was a bad idea.

New York Secrets Revealed: The Small Print

During my trip to New York, one of my ticky list items was to find a good Indian restaurant and gorge myself on delicious spicy delicacies. Using the power of google and yelp from my sketchy hotel room, I found an Indian place less than a block away from my art show that had a menu with everything I could want on it, well within my limited budget.

When we got there after visiting my show, they had a lunch buffet, but it was like 18 bucks a person, and $54 for the three of us, plus tip, plus tax, plus a stomach that won't fit $18 worth of food was so not going to happen, so we asked to be seated and got menus. After looking at all the tasty 5 dollar appetizers we would share, my mom noticed that at the bottom of the page, in small letters, it stipulated that each person must order $25 worth of food to eat in the dining room, which is where we were seated. That was followed by a horrifying conversation with our clearly displeased waiter where I offered to take our food to go, if needed. "No, fine, just order." So we ordered our food and it was SO delicious, like 'I wanted to lick the plate and then mate with it' delicious. Crispy fried onion fritters, spicy flaky pockets of mashed potato, green peas, and chilies, and chicken pakora, so salty and crunchy, all with tamarind dipping sauce that was sweet and cool and tangy. It was amazing.
And I could feel the hostility each time my water was refilled. Damn me for drinking so much water all the time! I'm the complete opposite of a camel.
And then, sheepishly, I asked our waiter about dessert. I wanted Gulab Jamun, badly.  If you've not had Gulab Jamun and you like syrupy sweet desserts, get your ass to an Indian restaurant, immediately. I don't care if it is not open right now, go wait. These things are little dense balls, not unlike cake donuts with the texture of a  hushpuppy, soaked in a sugar syrup that is heavily laced with cardamom and rosewater, until they cannot hold another drop of syrup, and dear people, they are so very good.

What they are usually not is BOILING MOTHERFUCKING HOT, which is what they were when they were served to me in this lovely restaurant in NY. They were like, passive aggressively hot.  Like every bit of anger that that waiter had at me for wasting his time with a 20 dollar order for three in the heart of Manhattan, times 20, was put on the microwave timer.  To the point that I could feel the searing heat coming off of it before it actually got to my face, which thankfully gave me a warning, or I would have lost all the skin lining the inside of my mouth.  My poor impulse control still contributed to minor burns, but thankfully, I avoided a hospital visit. And still they were delicious. So good. Almost worth the burns, totally worth the story.

Next time I have cause to visit NYC, I will, fer real, be budgeting a bunch of money to get an assortment of their amazing dishes, but I think I will get it to go next time, just in case.

January Sticker Sale- It's a Trap(tor) Color Sticker

Hi there.

I have been thinking for days, "Damn it JRose, you should post something... just post SOMETHING!" but the problem is, everything I draw or try to write comes out like poop. Not out of my butt, I mean it looks like/reads like crap. There are reasons, but never mind that now, never mind that. As soon as I can produce something worth looking at/reading, you guys will be the first to know. In the meantime:

New year, new sticker, old image, because really, my drawing ability is broken...not kidding, but the picture is different, at least. As are the rules. There are only 50 of these limited edition stickers, but I will sell them until they are gone. Each is about 3.75" x 3.7".  Printed on sticker paper, by me. Cut by hand (that means it might not be Stakenblochen). Sent first class via USPS (shipping is included).

[no longer available] For those outside the US, please choose the outside US option for the first sticker, and $3.50 for any additional sticker in the same order. If you have a problem with Paypal but would like to buy a sticker, let me know and I can provide other payment sources, as well as accepting cash and candy.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- It's a Trap(tor)!

The final piece for Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan is done, and I have waited to share it until now because I wanted to post the news that I was putting it on Threadless so that hopefully it can be made into a T-shirt that will get me paid so I can stop bitching about money all the time. Please, go vote. Make everyone you know vote. Everyone wants me to shut the hell up about money and this would be a start.

I also find it strange that I consistently typo the word SHIRT as SHIT.  It is like typing Tourette's.

Score this design: "It's a Trap(tor)!," to help it get printed on Threadless!

And if you would like a 15" museum quality print of this piece of art for $85, just email me me using the email at the bottom of the page.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- Narwhal of Liberty

I've finished another from the Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan series just last night and started on the last planned piece. Here it is. And remember, Cheeseblarg Merchandise makes great Holiday Gifts!

Narwhal of Liberty by cheeseblarg
Posters for sale on Zazzle

Macy's Day Parade Postcards for sale on Etsy
or get one for a bit less, perhaps on ebay.
I have two being auctioned.
(click here to see them)

As a bonus, there is a piece for sale in my Etsy store (that is fairly NSFW) from the time my work was on Regretsy.

JUDGING!

JRose took the advice of her readers and took a muscle relaxer, which is why she has only been awake for three hours today.  As a result, she has nothing to write about and her neck/shoulder still hurt but she had a dream that a cop named Ron Rodney pulled her over for going 75 in a 77 mph zone, after she got in a shouting argument with a woman working at a Hungry Howie's Pizzas and Subs shop for being less than nice while giving her mom a pizza.

She thinks it might be the muscle relaxer that is also making her talk about herself in third person.

Don't do drugs. At least muscle relaxers. They make you not want to draw, and taxidermed horned creatures will judge you.

THEY'RE JUDGING YOU!

JUDGING!

That word has now lost all meaning.

Judge.

Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan- Macy's Day Parade

I've not woken up earlier enough to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in years.  Certainly not since I moved to Montana, as we are two hours behind the East coast and I would have to wake at 7 am to see it (and nope, no DVR either) and I only wake up that early if I am in dire pain or my bladder is being a jerk.

But what good timing, my first piece from the Cheeseblarg Takes Manhattan series is done, and as promised, I have overtaken a famous New York landmark with a well known Cheeseblarg icon.  And in case you don't wake up early enough to see the Macy's Day Parade (which is what James, the fabulous tour guide, told us real New Yorkers call it), you can just pretend this really happened.

Do feel free to biggify this to see all the details that I spent ten hours drawing 

(which is like the equivalent of 40 hours for most other artists).

Poster prints are now on sale at Zazzle in several different sizes if you are interested!

Macy's Day Parade by cheeseblarg
Browse more Macy Posters


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Everywhere a Llama, Llama- NYC

Since Saturdays are slow traffic days because, apparently, everyone else has a life and friends and stuff, I am going to share with you every single llama that resides within the American Museum of Natural History in New York City... because, I took pictures of ALL of them. Every single one.

To the LLAMAS!

Just read the label under it.

Those are llamas.

Also, a llama.

You guessed it, llama (and a cute spotted llama at that).

This one just wouldn't freaking stand still. I must have tried to take this picture about 30 times and this is the best of them. It was only about 2 inches high.... and is also a llama.

Boy llama.

Herd of gravy boat llamas.

I didn't see a single narwhal, but I was talked into leaving before I was done searching every room, in an attempt to get to the Bronx zoo before it closed.  We didn't get to the zoo because we started out late and had a few subway mishaps... but it gives me an excuse to go back.  

New York: Secrets Revealed 2- The Garbage Monster

Living in an elevator shaft under Time Square Subway Station, there is a Garbage Monster.

There has to be, because the smell emanating from that elevator shaft is HORRIFICALLY offensive, and yet, it is a smell that I have never smelled before in my life and has no link to any sort of garbage that is created by man.