So just to update you on a few things, I still can't find my dinner rolls anywhere, I have almost more work than I know how to handle, I survived having to stand out in a cow pasture in the middle of a lightning storm during a football game, and despite my initial outrage and bravado, I surrendered to the bureaucratic Powers That Be at Delta for a mere $100 and the promise of a gift basket. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a gift basket.
After I emailed the head of customer service, I got a response 2 weeks later that actually addressed all my concerns personally, so I was partially appeased. They still insisted that giving me the $100 voucher + the gift basket was all they could do, and I guess I could have kept fighting, but in the end after all that emailing and waiting, I just didn't have the time or the energy to fight the good fight against Delta anymore. I assume that's what companies like Delta hope will happen, that people with complaints will grow tired of complaining and just accept defeat. So yeah, well played, Delta.
(I will add, though, that in the last letter I got from Delta, I was told that if I combined the $100 voucher with the $200 voucher they'd originally given me, that I would then have $300 in vouchers, so hey, not only did I get the vouchers and the gift basket, but I also got a free math lesson!)
But the real reason I'm blogging tonight is not to fill you in on the latest installment of the Delta Saga, but to write about my latest reality TV addiction, Bachelor Pad.
I admit that when I first saw the promos for Bachelor Pad during last season's Bachelorette, I was skeptical. It's not often that I deem a reality show unworthy of my viewing time--I mean, hello, I was a major fan of Rock of Love I, II, and Rock of Love: Tour Bus--,but Bachelor Pad looked too much like Dating in the Dark or The Cougar, i.e., a crappy reality show.
But then I tuned in and within minutes was hooked. What I liked about it was the fact that I felt I *knew* a lot of the contestants on the show since they're all rejects from previous seasons of Bachelor and Bachelorette, so I was already invested. It was like Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains (greatest reality show season of all time) in a way, though with a lot less emotional attachment to the people on my end and a much higher skank factor on their end.
The girls on Bachelor Pad are horrible. There's Tenley who's an idiot with a high-pitched voice and a tendency to cry for no reason, there's Natalie who's orange and who said, "I'd make out with everyone on the show for, like, $20 bucks," there's Elizabeth who obviously fell for someone's cruel trick and thought she'd look better as a blonde, there's Peyton who is weird-looking but who won the kissing contest, and there's Gwen who's old. On the men's side, there's Dave who exhibited anger management issues on the Bachelorette back in the day but who's now sort of oddly appealing and who won the kissing contest, there's "Kovacs" who is sort of dating Elizabeth and who looks like a neanderthal, there's Kiptyn who has a ridiculous name and zits (which I can now see all too clearly on my supersonic HD 3D TV) and is balding (sorry, Caroline Altshuler, but it's true), there's Jonathan who now goes simply by "Weatherman" because he's a meteorologist and a loser, and there's Wes who used to be a jerk but sort of redeemed himself and who was referred to by Gia as "a modern-day Shakespeare, but better and cuter."
I never thought of the original Shakespeare as being cute, so Gia may be right on that point, but as for the "better" part, well, Shakespeare wrote Hamlet; Wes wrote this: "I've been told a time or two, don't you know you've gotta be strong.... They say that love, it don't come easy. When you fall too quick, it must be wrong. Loving you, baby, don't take that long." I know--it's a tough call.
But I digress. Back to Bachelor Pad, the premise of the show is that all of these people go on dates and do different challenges and vote each other off, and then in the end, one of them wins $250,000. It sounds stupid and is stupid, but it's also a riveting 2 hours of television every Monday. The show is much more light-hearted than Bachelor or Bachelorette; you don't have all these people questioning each other's motives and wondering if someone is there "for the right reasons." Nope, there's no pretense of true love on Bachelor Pad. Those people are there to make out for the cameras, ride in helicopters, and to win money. And so it's totally ridiculous, a bit scandalous, and often hilarious. And I for one will be sad when the season is over.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Behind Closed Blinds
So I recently experienced a life-changing event--the delivery of my brand new 58-inch plasma TV with 3D capabilities (complete with one set of 3D glasses!). Yep, my friends are having babies; I have a new TV. And this 58-inch, 150-lb beauty has already transformed my life. To make room in my life for my new TV, the first thing I did was get rid of my old entertainment center. Then I bought a special table for the TV. Then I had to buy a whole new bookcase to replace the shelf space I lost when I sold the entertainment center, and I also had to rearrange my furniture layout in my living room. Now I'm going to sell my coffee table and end tables so that I can buy new ones that better complement the TV. I have also closed all the blinds in my house like some kind of vampire for fear of letting too much sun ruin the plasma screen. To quote Chazz Michael Michaels from Blades of Glory, "No exaggeration--I could not love a human baby more."
The funny thing is that there was a time in the increasingly distant past when I hardly watched any TV at all and when I did, I had to do crazy things like actually stand up and walk over to the TV to change the channel. And we had just one TV in the whole house. It was all very Little House on the Prairie-esque, which coincidentally was one of the very few shows I was allowed to watch. I remember that I used to get really excited about sitting through the opening theme song of Dallas (the show that came on right after LHOTP), convinced that my parents had forgotten about me and that I was going to get to watch that show, too. I never got past the theme song, though; one of my parents was always around to make sure my dreams of watching adult soap operas were immediately squelched.
Flash forward 25 years. This same family that watched such little television in the 80's now does things like watch 5 seasons of 24 in 10 days; for those of you who don't want to do the math, that's over 100 hours of TV. We often argue about which one of us watches the most TV. My dad vehemently denies it's him and in fact was indignant a few weeks ago when I said something to that effect. All I know is that any time I call my parents after 7 PM EDT, my dad picks up after one ring because he's sitting on the TV room couch right by the phone. Last year when I asked him if he was watching Castle, he said no and pretended not to know what I was talking about, and yet a few weeks later when I was at my parents' house, I found several episodes of Castle mysteriously recorded on their DVR.... There was also that time he revealed detailed knowledge about the lives of the Sex and the City characters after claiming he'd never seen the show. And many of you also know that he was 90210's #1 fan back in the day and later secretly loved Dawson's Creek. He also watches bad movies on TV. My sister told me recently that one of his favorites is Cinderella Story--not the one starring Russell Crowe, but the one starring Hilary Duff.
I actually find my dad's TV-watching to be kind of awesome. I don't know too many 62-year-old college professors who know who Wes from the Bachelorette is or who have opinions about the dancers on So You Think You Can Dance or who call and say things like, "Nina, it's Jack. Teri's been kidnapped" or who actively want to go see movies like Step Up 3D and then say things like, "I've been thinking about that dance scene with Moose and Camille--that was SO bad!"
But as they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I, too, love crappy movies like She's All That which I watch every single time it's on, and I, too, watch lots of TV. All of this is of course why I sold my soul to Best Buy so that I could get the very best buy on the market. So anyway, if you need me these days, I'll probably be in my living room possibly wearing my 3D glasses and perhaps polishing my plasma with a microfiber cloth while I shield it from the sun's rays. Yep, it's a rough life, but someone's got to live it.
The funny thing is that there was a time in the increasingly distant past when I hardly watched any TV at all and when I did, I had to do crazy things like actually stand up and walk over to the TV to change the channel. And we had just one TV in the whole house. It was all very Little House on the Prairie-esque, which coincidentally was one of the very few shows I was allowed to watch. I remember that I used to get really excited about sitting through the opening theme song of Dallas (the show that came on right after LHOTP), convinced that my parents had forgotten about me and that I was going to get to watch that show, too. I never got past the theme song, though; one of my parents was always around to make sure my dreams of watching adult soap operas were immediately squelched.
Flash forward 25 years. This same family that watched such little television in the 80's now does things like watch 5 seasons of 24 in 10 days; for those of you who don't want to do the math, that's over 100 hours of TV. We often argue about which one of us watches the most TV. My dad vehemently denies it's him and in fact was indignant a few weeks ago when I said something to that effect. All I know is that any time I call my parents after 7 PM EDT, my dad picks up after one ring because he's sitting on the TV room couch right by the phone. Last year when I asked him if he was watching Castle, he said no and pretended not to know what I was talking about, and yet a few weeks later when I was at my parents' house, I found several episodes of Castle mysteriously recorded on their DVR.... There was also that time he revealed detailed knowledge about the lives of the Sex and the City characters after claiming he'd never seen the show. And many of you also know that he was 90210's #1 fan back in the day and later secretly loved Dawson's Creek. He also watches bad movies on TV. My sister told me recently that one of his favorites is Cinderella Story--not the one starring Russell Crowe, but the one starring Hilary Duff.
I actually find my dad's TV-watching to be kind of awesome. I don't know too many 62-year-old college professors who know who Wes from the Bachelorette is or who have opinions about the dancers on So You Think You Can Dance or who call and say things like, "Nina, it's Jack. Teri's been kidnapped" or who actively want to go see movies like Step Up 3D and then say things like, "I've been thinking about that dance scene with Moose and Camille--that was SO bad!"
But as they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I, too, love crappy movies like She's All That which I watch every single time it's on, and I, too, watch lots of TV. All of this is of course why I sold my soul to Best Buy so that I could get the very best buy on the market. So anyway, if you need me these days, I'll probably be in my living room possibly wearing my 3D glasses and perhaps polishing my plasma with a microfiber cloth while I shield it from the sun's rays. Yep, it's a rough life, but someone's got to live it.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Farewell to a Friend
I found out earlier today that my old friend Andrew committed suicide last night, and naturally, I've been thinking about him all day. Andrew and I were classmates in high school and were nerds together in all the same honors and AP classes. He was very smart and funny--just an all-around interesting person.
We reconnected on facebook a couple of years ago and corresponded from time to time. I had no idea he was troubled, and based on what people have been posting all day on facebook, it sounds as though friends he kept in touch with on a more regular basis are as shocked as I was to hear the news. I guess we never truly know what's going on inside a person's head, and that's a scary thought.
I have lots of memories of Andrew. After all, we spent a good portion of every day together at school. What's funny are the kinds of memories that stand out. I will always remember the day in 9th grade in Mr. Roberts's honors geometry class when I was talking about my favorite novel, The Mists of Avalon, and Andrew said, "Oh, that's that feminist reworking of the Arthurian legend, right?" I very defensively said, "It's not feminist!" as though that were some sort of insult.
A few years later, when I was at Princeton, upon rereading the novel for the zillionth time, I had this epiphany that Andrew Carroll had been right--it really was a feminist novel! And then I remember wondering how on earth a 14-year-old boy had A) known that a book called The Mists of Avalon existed, B) known that the book was a feminist reworking of the Arthurian legend, and C) understood what feminism was. I then emailed Andrew at Duke to tell him that he'd been right all along.
Until now, I'd never known anyone who took his own life. It doesn't make any sense that I can still go to his facebook page and see things he posted just yesterday, as though nothing had been amiss. None of it makes sense. So goodbye, Andrew, my classmate and neighbor, my quiz bowl buddy, my Nat'l Merit cohort, my Shakespeare independent study partner--you will be missed.
The time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.
Today, the road all runners come,
Shoulder-high we bring you home,
And set you at your threshold down,
Townsman of a stiller town.
Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not stay,
And early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose.
Eyes the shady night has shut
Cannot see the record cut,
And silence sounds no worse than cheers
After earth has stopped the ears:
Now you will not swell the rout
Of lads that wore their honours out,
Runners whom renown outran
And the name died before the man.
So set, before its echoes fade,
The fleet foot on the sill of shade,
And hold to the low lintel up
The still-defended challenge-cup.
And round that early-laurelled head
Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead,
And find unwithered on its curls
The garland briefer than a girl's.
--A.E. Housman
We reconnected on facebook a couple of years ago and corresponded from time to time. I had no idea he was troubled, and based on what people have been posting all day on facebook, it sounds as though friends he kept in touch with on a more regular basis are as shocked as I was to hear the news. I guess we never truly know what's going on inside a person's head, and that's a scary thought.
I have lots of memories of Andrew. After all, we spent a good portion of every day together at school. What's funny are the kinds of memories that stand out. I will always remember the day in 9th grade in Mr. Roberts's honors geometry class when I was talking about my favorite novel, The Mists of Avalon, and Andrew said, "Oh, that's that feminist reworking of the Arthurian legend, right?" I very defensively said, "It's not feminist!" as though that were some sort of insult.
A few years later, when I was at Princeton, upon rereading the novel for the zillionth time, I had this epiphany that Andrew Carroll had been right--it really was a feminist novel! And then I remember wondering how on earth a 14-year-old boy had A) known that a book called The Mists of Avalon existed, B) known that the book was a feminist reworking of the Arthurian legend, and C) understood what feminism was. I then emailed Andrew at Duke to tell him that he'd been right all along.
Until now, I'd never known anyone who took his own life. It doesn't make any sense that I can still go to his facebook page and see things he posted just yesterday, as though nothing had been amiss. None of it makes sense. So goodbye, Andrew, my classmate and neighbor, my quiz bowl buddy, my Nat'l Merit cohort, my Shakespeare independent study partner--you will be missed.
The time you won your town the race
We chaired you through the market-place;
Man and boy stood cheering by,
And home we brought you shoulder-high.
Today, the road all runners come,
Shoulder-high we bring you home,
And set you at your threshold down,
Townsman of a stiller town.
Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not stay,
And early though the laurel grows
It withers quicker than the rose.
Eyes the shady night has shut
Cannot see the record cut,
And silence sounds no worse than cheers
After earth has stopped the ears:
Now you will not swell the rout
Of lads that wore their honours out,
Runners whom renown outran
And the name died before the man.
So set, before its echoes fade,
The fleet foot on the sill of shade,
And hold to the low lintel up
The still-defended challenge-cup.
And round that early-laurelled head
Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead,
And find unwithered on its curls
The garland briefer than a girl's.
--A.E. Housman
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"George is getting UPSET!"--G. Costanza
"Forget the story. I can't think about some crappy story. My life sucks too much."--Jordan Catalano, My So-Called Life
"My life sucks, and I hate everyone."--Me, yesterday at 3:00
This week had an auspicious beginning on Sunday when I sold my entertainment center on craigslist and didn't get murdered by the guy when he came to my house to pick it up.
But then things took a turn, and I'm now in the midst of the Worst Week Ever--and it's only Tuesday.
On Monday morning, first day back from summer vacation, my cheap wristwatch that I'd bought for my France trip decided to start chiming its alarm randomly at 6:20. I had to get out of bed to find the watch to turn it off, but somehow all I did was make it go off every 5 minutes until 7:05 when I finally figured out how to make it stop completely. Until it went off again this morning.
Then I went to school. While I normally love going back to school, I found out last May that I'd be teaching 80ish students this year (as opposed to the 63 I taught last year), so my usual enthusiasm has been somewhat lacking as of late. I thought things couldn't get worse, but then yesterday I found out that I also have something called Student Center duty this year, which means I have to cover classes for absent teachers during one of my free periods every day. All of this means that I have just one planning period (just for this semester) but am also teaching an extra class's worth of students (again, just for this semester). It's also my turn to do attendance for 9th and 10th grade every morning all year AND instead of the normal 2 lunch duties a year, for some reason, I have 3. And because my football duty falls on the biggest game of the year (6000 fans expected + Bobby Bowden ???), I'm going to be stationed at the gate that's in a cow pasture. (Not even kidding.) And the air conditioning is broken in the English/History office, and it's 100 degrees out. Sigh.
Fortunately, today was slightly less painful, especially since one of my new students decided not to take honors after all. Here's how that went--
Ray (my buddy and scheduling guru): "Hey, you just lost one of your honors students."
Me: "YES! This is the greatest day of my life."
Ray: "That's sad."
Sad, but true. The title of my autobiography.
Then I went to the post office where I had the misfortune of being behind a woman who wanted to send a package to Uruguay and wanted to know prices. Here's how that went--
USPS woman: "Uruguay? I don't even know what region that's in."
Customer: "It's in South America."
USPS: "Is that in Mexico?"
**more back and forth inanities for 10 minutes in which it is revealed that one can send a box no more than 78 inches in total girth to Uruguay for $56.**
USPS: "Or you could do a flat rate box for $55 anywhere outside of the U.S."
Customer: "Oh! So anywhere in the world for $55?"
USPS: "No, anywhere outside of the U.S."
But none of that even matters right now because today I went to Publix and discovered that Publix no longer carries my Pepperidge Farm Oatmeal 45-calorie/slice sandwich bread. I flipped out. I went up to Customer Service and found Jeff, the guy in charge of special orders, and said something to the effect of, "My sandwich bread is missing. This is the 3rd product in the last month that Publix has discontinued. What the heck am I supposed to eat?!?" So Jeff checks the computer and tells me that they do indeed have Pepperidge Farm oatmeal bread, but it's 100 calories/slice. So NO, that is not the same thing. He said he would "look into it" and call me later this week. The last time Jeff called me, it was bad news bears, so I'm not optimistic.
Speaking of which, Delta still hasn't sent me the $100 voucher. And the Director of Customer Service still hasn't responded to my email about the form letter I received.
My friend Heather wanted me to mention that I shouldn't complain because her life sucks, too, since she also has a work overload and has to coach Cross Country and doesn't have her own classroom and some idiot ran over her mailbox and left a piece of his car on her lawn, but it's my blog, and I can kvetch if I want to.
But I'm done for today and feel better for having aired my grievances. Happy early Festivus, everyone!
"My life sucks, and I hate everyone."--Me, yesterday at 3:00
This week had an auspicious beginning on Sunday when I sold my entertainment center on craigslist and didn't get murdered by the guy when he came to my house to pick it up.
But then things took a turn, and I'm now in the midst of the Worst Week Ever--and it's only Tuesday.
On Monday morning, first day back from summer vacation, my cheap wristwatch that I'd bought for my France trip decided to start chiming its alarm randomly at 6:20. I had to get out of bed to find the watch to turn it off, but somehow all I did was make it go off every 5 minutes until 7:05 when I finally figured out how to make it stop completely. Until it went off again this morning.
Then I went to school. While I normally love going back to school, I found out last May that I'd be teaching 80ish students this year (as opposed to the 63 I taught last year), so my usual enthusiasm has been somewhat lacking as of late. I thought things couldn't get worse, but then yesterday I found out that I also have something called Student Center duty this year, which means I have to cover classes for absent teachers during one of my free periods every day. All of this means that I have just one planning period (just for this semester) but am also teaching an extra class's worth of students (again, just for this semester). It's also my turn to do attendance for 9th and 10th grade every morning all year AND instead of the normal 2 lunch duties a year, for some reason, I have 3. And because my football duty falls on the biggest game of the year (6000 fans expected + Bobby Bowden ???), I'm going to be stationed at the gate that's in a cow pasture. (Not even kidding.) And the air conditioning is broken in the English/History office, and it's 100 degrees out. Sigh.
Fortunately, today was slightly less painful, especially since one of my new students decided not to take honors after all. Here's how that went--
Ray (my buddy and scheduling guru): "Hey, you just lost one of your honors students."
Me: "YES! This is the greatest day of my life."
Ray: "That's sad."
Sad, but true. The title of my autobiography.
Then I went to the post office where I had the misfortune of being behind a woman who wanted to send a package to Uruguay and wanted to know prices. Here's how that went--
USPS woman: "Uruguay? I don't even know what region that's in."
Customer: "It's in South America."
USPS: "Is that in Mexico?"
**more back and forth inanities for 10 minutes in which it is revealed that one can send a box no more than 78 inches in total girth to Uruguay for $56.**
USPS: "Or you could do a flat rate box for $55 anywhere outside of the U.S."
Customer: "Oh! So anywhere in the world for $55?"
USPS: "No, anywhere outside of the U.S."
But none of that even matters right now because today I went to Publix and discovered that Publix no longer carries my Pepperidge Farm Oatmeal 45-calorie/slice sandwich bread. I flipped out. I went up to Customer Service and found Jeff, the guy in charge of special orders, and said something to the effect of, "My sandwich bread is missing. This is the 3rd product in the last month that Publix has discontinued. What the heck am I supposed to eat?!?" So Jeff checks the computer and tells me that they do indeed have Pepperidge Farm oatmeal bread, but it's 100 calories/slice. So NO, that is not the same thing. He said he would "look into it" and call me later this week. The last time Jeff called me, it was bad news bears, so I'm not optimistic.
Speaking of which, Delta still hasn't sent me the $100 voucher. And the Director of Customer Service still hasn't responded to my email about the form letter I received.
My friend Heather wanted me to mention that I shouldn't complain because her life sucks, too, since she also has a work overload and has to coach Cross Country and doesn't have her own classroom and some idiot ran over her mailbox and left a piece of his car on her lawn, but it's my blog, and I can kvetch if I want to.
But I'm done for today and feel better for having aired my grievances. Happy early Festivus, everyone!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Wow, Delta. Wow.
Some of you may have seen my recent facebook postings about the ordeal my mom and I experienced with Delta Airlines when we were stuck on an airplane at the gate in Atlanta for over 5 hours. Some of you have also heard the entire story. I won't re-tell it because I'm about to post the letter I wrote to Delta when I returned to the U.S. Here it is:
To Whom it May Concern: On Sunday, July 11, 2010, I was one of the
passengers on the nightmarish flight that was supposed to take us from
Atlanta to Guayaquil, Ecuador at 5:40 PM but that ended up being
canceled somewhere around midnight after the passengers had sat on the
plane at the gate for almost 5 hours. Delta did give us hotel and food
vouchers and a $200 voucher as compensation, but my situation is a bit
unusual.
When we boarded the plane, we had a flight crew that spoke
Spanish, but after an hour, that flight crew went over the 16-hour
work limit and was replaced by a non-Spanish-speaking crew. I would
estimate that 85% of the passengers on the plane spoke no English
whatsoever. At that time, one of the flight attendants asked for a
volunteer to help serve as an interpreter. I volunteered, thinking we'd
be off the ground in a matter of minutes, and then proceeded to work for
Delta as an interpreter for the next 7 (seven) hours without respite. I
spoke on the PA system, I addressed passenger complaints, and I kept the
peace as best I could. When our pilot was told we would once again be
given a new flight crew, making it a FOURTH new crew of the evening, I
was asked by the Delta supervisor who was there to hide that information
from the rest of the passengers in order to prevent an uprising. When
the paramedics had to be called to treat a lady who was having trouble
breathing, I had to explain her symptoms to the team. I was even asked
to hold up a blanket while a disabled adult's diaper was changed! When
the passengers became belligerent after probably the 4th hour of sitting
on the plane with limited water and food, I became a target of their
anger, even though I was simply a passenger who'd been asked to help
out. I did all of these things without stopping for food or water even
though I was hungry and thirsty. Then when they finally let us off the plane, I had to help the workers at the gate desk line everyone up, distribute vouchers, explain the new flight information, and urge everyone to be patient. My mother and I were the last people to leave the gate to go to the hotel because we had to help an elderly
non-Spanish-speaking-wheelchair-bound lady get to the appropriate
airport shuttle to go to the hotel.
That evening, the supervisor told me that she would upgrade my mother and me to 1st class as a thank you for my help, but then when I called Delta the next morning to confirm, Iwas told that there was no space in 1st class and that there was no
record of my having worked like a dog for 7 hours for Delta. The next
day back at the airport, I once again had to serve as an interpreter at
the gate desk when Delta requested volunteers to stay behind, saying
that the plane was too heavy (which was probably a euphemism for the
flight having been oversold). Our pilot, Captain Knapp, was the same
one we'd had the night before, and he was nice enough to pull some
strings to upgrade my mother and me to first class, but quite frankly, I
think Delta Airlines owes me more than a nice meal and a comfortable
seat that were essentially given to me as a personal thank you by an
individual working for Delta, not by Delta itself. I paid over $900 for
my flight to visit my family for 10 days, family I hadn't seen in over 5
years. I lost a day of my trip because of Delta and had to work as hard
as or harder than anyone else on that plane DOING DELTA'S JOB.
If Delta is going to fly to a South American country, Delta needs to hire
Spanish-speaking staff to be on-board the planes. There were children
on our flight who were flying alone and scared to death; there were
several disabled adults in wheelchairs who couldn't communicate their
physical problems to the crew. It's absolutely ludicrous that in this
day and age, Delta can't find Spanish speakers to hire and instead must
rely on their own passengers for free labor. And then to add insult to
injury, when I flew back on flight 694 from Guayaquil to Atlanta on
7/21/10, I was "randomly selected" for a luggage check and had to have
my suitcase ransacked, I was forced to empty out all of the contents of
my carry-on because I supposedly had a lighter in the bag which turned
out to be a pack of gum, and I was humiliated by having to be thoroughly
patted down like a criminal in front of everyone as part of "procedure."
I am an ordinary American citizen, a high school English teacher, and
someone who tries to help others in need. I have never written a
letter of complaint like this one before and hope never to have to do so
again. I am disgusted with the way I have been treated by Delta and
will do what I can in the future to find alternate airlines for my
travel.
So today I received a response from Delta. It's a form letter with the phrase "you and your mother" inserted here and there to make it "personal." But the letter does not really address anything I mentioned in my letter. It says something about a mechanical failure--that's news to me!--and something about an airline worker being rude to me--huh? At one point, the letter does seem to address the role I played on the flight, but the sentence makes NO sense: When we receive a report like yours, a copy is forwarded to the
responsible leadership teams so any unprofessional conduct can be
addressed directly also appreciate all the hard work that you have done
for us during our irregularities flight operation and also be forwarded
to the management officials. Is that even English?? You'd think if they were going to try to personalize a form letter by sticking in a few original phrases that they would do a better job of keeping the ruse alive. In any event, I'll let you skim the letter for yourself:
RE: Case Number 948036
Thank you for sharing your concerns regarding the service provided while
traveling with us. On behalf of everyone at Delta Air Lines, I
sincerely apologize for inconveniences you and your mother experienced
due to flight irregularities and the unsatisfactory services provided by
our airport representative.
I understand the frustration you and your mother experienced when your
plans were disrupted due to the cancellation of our flight for
mechanical reasons. We regret you were among the passengers who were
inconvenienced by mechanical failure that occurred on your flight. This
type of situation has an effect over our entire route system, resulting
in many delays, cancellations, and diversions to alternate airports. We
do our best to keep our customers informed of any change affecting their
flight schedule. I am very sorry to learn that you were not contacted
regarding your flight cancellation and further, you were given incorrect
information regarding the flight status. Please accept our sincerest
apologies for the difficulty this caused for you and your mother.
When these circumstances occur, there is always a degree of uncertainty
regarding the time we can resume normal operations. However, we share
your disappointment with the overall poor service you encountered. We
are continuing to improve our processes, find new, better, and smarter
ways to operate our planes, serve our passengers, and run our business.
Unfortunately, we are unable to analyze the situation in retrospect and
find out why these circumstances occurred. However, we can and will
address your concerns going forward. We will alert the appropriate
management officials for further review.
When you fly with Delta Air Lines, you expect us to take good care of
you and to provide timely, efficient, and professional service. Your
comments that our airport agent did not provide acceptable customer
service concern me.
I am truly sorry you encountered our airport agent who was rude to you
and also was uncaring. I realize that in this instance you did not
receive the service you expected and should have receive from our
airport agent, as we expect our employees to be helpful and professional
at all times. Discourtesy is not tolerated, and while internal handling
is confidential, we can assure you the appropriate department will
thoroughly reviewed your comments with the party involved. Please
accept our most sincere apology for the circumstances you described.
When we receive a report like yours, a copy is forwarded to the
responsible leadership teams so any unprofessional conduct can be
addressed directly also appreciate all the hard work that you have done
for us during our irregularities flight operation and also be forwarded
to the management officials.
This entire matter was unfortunate. I recognize this experience may
have dampened your enthusiasm to use Delta on future flights; however we
would appreciate a future opportunity to reinforce our dedication to
service excellence. As a genuine gesture of apology, I have issued an
Electronic Transportation Credit Voucher (eTCV) in the amount of $100.00
for each passenger. Please note the voucher number and associated Terms
and Conditions will be arriving in a separate email. I encourage you to
add Delta Air Lines to your receiver list so the voucher document is not
misdirected to your spam folder. Please keep the voucher number and the
Terms and Conditions since the number is required for redemption. It is
also important to remind you that there is no Direct Ticketing fee for
reservations confirmed online at delta.com.
I want to thank you, again, for taking the time to bring
this matter to our attention. Please accept our apology for the
unfavorable impression you received in this instance. As a valued Delta
customer, your business is important to us and given the opportunity of
serving you in the future, I am confident Delta will not only meet but
exceed your expectations.
Sincerely,
Sabrina M. Fox
Coordinator, Customer Care
Delta Air Lines/KLM Royal Dutch Airlines
So yeah, in a nutshell, Delta sucks. Oh, and the $100 electronic voucher they were sending us in a separate email? It never arrived.
To Whom it May Concern: On Sunday, July 11, 2010, I was one of the
passengers on the nightmarish flight that was supposed to take us from
Atlanta to Guayaquil, Ecuador at 5:40 PM but that ended up being
canceled somewhere around midnight after the passengers had sat on the
plane at the gate for almost 5 hours. Delta did give us hotel and food
vouchers and a $200 voucher as compensation, but my situation is a bit
unusual.
When we boarded the plane, we had a flight crew that spoke
Spanish, but after an hour, that flight crew went over the 16-hour
work limit and was replaced by a non-Spanish-speaking crew. I would
estimate that 85% of the passengers on the plane spoke no English
whatsoever. At that time, one of the flight attendants asked for a
volunteer to help serve as an interpreter. I volunteered, thinking we'd
be off the ground in a matter of minutes, and then proceeded to work for
Delta as an interpreter for the next 7 (seven) hours without respite. I
spoke on the PA system, I addressed passenger complaints, and I kept the
peace as best I could. When our pilot was told we would once again be
given a new flight crew, making it a FOURTH new crew of the evening, I
was asked by the Delta supervisor who was there to hide that information
from the rest of the passengers in order to prevent an uprising. When
the paramedics had to be called to treat a lady who was having trouble
breathing, I had to explain her symptoms to the team. I was even asked
to hold up a blanket while a disabled adult's diaper was changed! When
the passengers became belligerent after probably the 4th hour of sitting
on the plane with limited water and food, I became a target of their
anger, even though I was simply a passenger who'd been asked to help
out. I did all of these things without stopping for food or water even
though I was hungry and thirsty. Then when they finally let us off the plane, I had to help the workers at the gate desk line everyone up, distribute vouchers, explain the new flight information, and urge everyone to be patient. My mother and I were the last people to leave the gate to go to the hotel because we had to help an elderly
non-Spanish-speaking-wheelchair-bound lady get to the appropriate
airport shuttle to go to the hotel.
That evening, the supervisor told me that she would upgrade my mother and me to 1st class as a thank you for my help, but then when I called Delta the next morning to confirm, Iwas told that there was no space in 1st class and that there was no
record of my having worked like a dog for 7 hours for Delta. The next
day back at the airport, I once again had to serve as an interpreter at
the gate desk when Delta requested volunteers to stay behind, saying
that the plane was too heavy (which was probably a euphemism for the
flight having been oversold). Our pilot, Captain Knapp, was the same
one we'd had the night before, and he was nice enough to pull some
strings to upgrade my mother and me to first class, but quite frankly, I
think Delta Airlines owes me more than a nice meal and a comfortable
seat that were essentially given to me as a personal thank you by an
individual working for Delta, not by Delta itself. I paid over $900 for
my flight to visit my family for 10 days, family I hadn't seen in over 5
years. I lost a day of my trip because of Delta and had to work as hard
as or harder than anyone else on that plane DOING DELTA'S JOB.
If Delta is going to fly to a South American country, Delta needs to hire
Spanish-speaking staff to be on-board the planes. There were children
on our flight who were flying alone and scared to death; there were
several disabled adults in wheelchairs who couldn't communicate their
physical problems to the crew. It's absolutely ludicrous that in this
day and age, Delta can't find Spanish speakers to hire and instead must
rely on their own passengers for free labor. And then to add insult to
injury, when I flew back on flight 694 from Guayaquil to Atlanta on
7/21/10, I was "randomly selected" for a luggage check and had to have
my suitcase ransacked, I was forced to empty out all of the contents of
my carry-on because I supposedly had a lighter in the bag which turned
out to be a pack of gum, and I was humiliated by having to be thoroughly
patted down like a criminal in front of everyone as part of "procedure."
I am an ordinary American citizen, a high school English teacher, and
someone who tries to help others in need. I have never written a
letter of complaint like this one before and hope never to have to do so
again. I am disgusted with the way I have been treated by Delta and
will do what I can in the future to find alternate airlines for my
travel.
So today I received a response from Delta. It's a form letter with the phrase "you and your mother" inserted here and there to make it "personal." But the letter does not really address anything I mentioned in my letter. It says something about a mechanical failure--that's news to me!--and something about an airline worker being rude to me--huh? At one point, the letter does seem to address the role I played on the flight, but the sentence makes NO sense: When we receive a report like yours, a copy is forwarded to the
responsible leadership teams so any unprofessional conduct can be
addressed directly also appreciate all the hard work that you have done
for us during our irregularities flight operation and also be forwarded
to the management officials. Is that even English?? You'd think if they were going to try to personalize a form letter by sticking in a few original phrases that they would do a better job of keeping the ruse alive. In any event, I'll let you skim the letter for yourself:
RE: Case Number 948036
Thank you for sharing your concerns regarding the service provided while
traveling with us. On behalf of everyone at Delta Air Lines, I
sincerely apologize for inconveniences you and your mother experienced
due to flight irregularities and the unsatisfactory services provided by
our airport representative.
I understand the frustration you and your mother experienced when your
plans were disrupted due to the cancellation of our flight for
mechanical reasons. We regret you were among the passengers who were
inconvenienced by mechanical failure that occurred on your flight. This
type of situation has an effect over our entire route system, resulting
in many delays, cancellations, and diversions to alternate airports. We
do our best to keep our customers informed of any change affecting their
flight schedule. I am very sorry to learn that you were not contacted
regarding your flight cancellation and further, you were given incorrect
information regarding the flight status. Please accept our sincerest
apologies for the difficulty this caused for you and your mother.
When these circumstances occur, there is always a degree of uncertainty
regarding the time we can resume normal operations. However, we share
your disappointment with the overall poor service you encountered. We
are continuing to improve our processes, find new, better, and smarter
ways to operate our planes, serve our passengers, and run our business.
Unfortunately, we are unable to analyze the situation in retrospect and
find out why these circumstances occurred. However, we can and will
address your concerns going forward. We will alert the appropriate
management officials for further review.
When you fly with Delta Air Lines, you expect us to take good care of
you and to provide timely, efficient, and professional service. Your
comments that our airport agent did not provide acceptable customer
service concern me.
I am truly sorry you encountered our airport agent who was rude to you
and also was uncaring. I realize that in this instance you did not
receive the service you expected and should have receive from our
airport agent, as we expect our employees to be helpful and professional
at all times. Discourtesy is not tolerated, and while internal handling
is confidential, we can assure you the appropriate department will
thoroughly reviewed your comments with the party involved. Please
accept our most sincere apology for the circumstances you described.
When we receive a report like yours, a copy is forwarded to the
responsible leadership teams so any unprofessional conduct can be
addressed directly also appreciate all the hard work that you have done
for us during our irregularities flight operation and also be forwarded
to the management officials.
This entire matter was unfortunate. I recognize this experience may
have dampened your enthusiasm to use Delta on future flights; however we
would appreciate a future opportunity to reinforce our dedication to
service excellence. As a genuine gesture of apology, I have issued an
Electronic Transportation Credit Voucher (eTCV) in the amount of $100.00
for each passenger. Please note the voucher number and associated Terms
and Conditions will be arriving in a separate email. I encourage you to
add Delta Air Lines to your receiver list so the voucher document is not
misdirected to your spam folder. Please keep the voucher number and the
Terms and Conditions since the number is required for redemption. It is
also important to remind you that there is no Direct Ticketing fee for
reservations confirmed online at delta.com.
I want to thank you, again, for taking the time to bring
this matter to our attention. Please accept our apology for the
unfavorable impression you received in this instance. As a valued Delta
customer, your business is important to us and given the opportunity of
serving you in the future, I am confident Delta will not only meet but
exceed your expectations.
Sincerely,
Sabrina M. Fox
Coordinator, Customer Care
Delta Air Lines/KLM Royal Dutch Airlines
So yeah, in a nutshell, Delta sucks. Oh, and the $100 electronic voucher they were sending us in a separate email? It never arrived.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
What I Did on My Summer Vacation
True story: Several years ago, on the first day of school, when assigning a journal entry, I asked the rhetorical question, "Hmm...what should I have you guys write about?"
Before I could provide the 'correct' answer, a student replied, "What we did on our summer vacation??"
And I said, "Um, no. I don't really care."
So anyway, if you're like me, you probably don't genuinely like hearing people tell you all about their trips to the beach or the mountains or wherever they went, unless something really unusual happened. I mean, honestly, beyond knowing that they had a good time, you don't really want to know anything else. (*It is possible, I suppose, that not everyone feels that way and that I'm just very selfish and self-absorbed. But I was an only child and only grandchild for 8 years, and my Grandma told me I didn't have to share my toys if I didn't want to, so there you have it.)
But of course while I don't really want to hear about other people's vacations, I'm sure everyone wants to hear about mine. This summer I went to France for the first time in my life and to Ecuador for the 25th-ish time in my life and to Columbus, Ohio, for the 2nd time in my life.
----OMG, I just realized that I went to 3 very different places, just like Liz Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, a book I just read yesterday!!!! The only real difference is that I didn't spend 4 months in each place, and I didn't just get divorced, and I didn't pray in Ecuador or love in Columbus. But I did eat in France. ... And in Ecuador. ... And in Columbus.
The food in France was everything people say it is--REALLY GOOD. I went with a tour group, so our dinners were provided for and were decent but nothing to write home about. But the breakfasts and lunches and pastries were amazing. Had we not walked an average of 12 miles a day, often uphill and on cobblestone, things would have gotten very bad very fast. After all, I've never eaten so much bread in my life as I did during the 10 days we were in France, and just thinking about the croissants and chocolate croissants and breads that I can't even describe makes me want to go back ASAP. I quickly became an escargot aficionado and ate amazing things like bull stew and fish soup and spinach gratin and spinach/salmon quiche--and the sauces...wow. At a little dive in Arles, one of my tour-mates loved the sauce left over in her bowl of mussels so much that she surreptitiously picked up the bowl and drank the sauce, and I couldn't blame her.
I told everyone that I went to Ecuador this summer for 2 reasons: to see my family and to eat plantains. That is not a joke. If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, it would be plantains. As amazing as plantains are, though, Ecuadorian food in general is delicious, minus the dishes that have cilantro, but that's just because I abhor cilantro. The rice is rice you could eat all by itself--it's just that good. It is of course a given when I go to Ecuador that I will make it through maybe one whole day before my stomach realizes that crazy things are happening. This year, I was there 9 days and was very sick 7 of them, but did I stop eating? Nope. I felt like crap, I ate everything I'd missed for 5 years, and I lost 5 pounds.
And then I went to Columbus this past weekend to visit Kari, my bff since the 8th grade, and to see Wicked. I would go into the really great food I ate there, but we ate so much that I think if I don't write about it, I can pretend I didn't eat calamari, salad, gnocchi, snapper, chocolate torte, eggs with fontina cheese over chorizo, potato hash, and carrot cake in 2 days.
So that's my summer in a nutshell. I didn't find enlightenment at an ashram or anything, but I got 2 stamps in my newest passport and some lovely stomach parasites as souvenirs, so all things considered, I had some adventures. The plan for next summer is to go to Italy and back to Ecuador. Anyone want to go with me?
Before I could provide the 'correct' answer, a student replied, "What we did on our summer vacation??"
And I said, "Um, no. I don't really care."
So anyway, if you're like me, you probably don't genuinely like hearing people tell you all about their trips to the beach or the mountains or wherever they went, unless something really unusual happened. I mean, honestly, beyond knowing that they had a good time, you don't really want to know anything else. (*It is possible, I suppose, that not everyone feels that way and that I'm just very selfish and self-absorbed. But I was an only child and only grandchild for 8 years, and my Grandma told me I didn't have to share my toys if I didn't want to, so there you have it.)
But of course while I don't really want to hear about other people's vacations, I'm sure everyone wants to hear about mine. This summer I went to France for the first time in my life and to Ecuador for the 25th-ish time in my life and to Columbus, Ohio, for the 2nd time in my life.
----OMG, I just realized that I went to 3 very different places, just like Liz Gilbert in Eat, Pray, Love, a book I just read yesterday!!!! The only real difference is that I didn't spend 4 months in each place, and I didn't just get divorced, and I didn't pray in Ecuador or love in Columbus. But I did eat in France. ... And in Ecuador. ... And in Columbus.
The food in France was everything people say it is--REALLY GOOD. I went with a tour group, so our dinners were provided for and were decent but nothing to write home about. But the breakfasts and lunches and pastries were amazing. Had we not walked an average of 12 miles a day, often uphill and on cobblestone, things would have gotten very bad very fast. After all, I've never eaten so much bread in my life as I did during the 10 days we were in France, and just thinking about the croissants and chocolate croissants and breads that I can't even describe makes me want to go back ASAP. I quickly became an escargot aficionado and ate amazing things like bull stew and fish soup and spinach gratin and spinach/salmon quiche--and the sauces...wow. At a little dive in Arles, one of my tour-mates loved the sauce left over in her bowl of mussels so much that she surreptitiously picked up the bowl and drank the sauce, and I couldn't blame her.
I told everyone that I went to Ecuador this summer for 2 reasons: to see my family and to eat plantains. That is not a joke. If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, it would be plantains. As amazing as plantains are, though, Ecuadorian food in general is delicious, minus the dishes that have cilantro, but that's just because I abhor cilantro. The rice is rice you could eat all by itself--it's just that good. It is of course a given when I go to Ecuador that I will make it through maybe one whole day before my stomach realizes that crazy things are happening. This year, I was there 9 days and was very sick 7 of them, but did I stop eating? Nope. I felt like crap, I ate everything I'd missed for 5 years, and I lost 5 pounds.
And then I went to Columbus this past weekend to visit Kari, my bff since the 8th grade, and to see Wicked. I would go into the really great food I ate there, but we ate so much that I think if I don't write about it, I can pretend I didn't eat calamari, salad, gnocchi, snapper, chocolate torte, eggs with fontina cheese over chorizo, potato hash, and carrot cake in 2 days.
So that's my summer in a nutshell. I didn't find enlightenment at an ashram or anything, but I got 2 stamps in my newest passport and some lovely stomach parasites as souvenirs, so all things considered, I had some adventures. The plan for next summer is to go to Italy and back to Ecuador. Anyone want to go with me?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
a bit about moi
Things I Do Not Understand:
--the stock market
--anything having to do with my mortgage, escrow, retirement funds, etc.
--how people can see where the puck is when they watch hockey
--why public restrooms in the U.S. are so gross while in France they are pristine
--how electronics work (though I am good at setting them up and using them)
Things I Do Not Care About:
--philosophy
--religion
--complicated politics or world issues
--most stories about your pets
--baseball
--what you dreamed last night
Odd Things I Do Well:
--putting furniture together and hooking up electronic devices
--remembering precise details
--sleuthing
--solving cryptograms in the newspaper
--whistling
--picking out the perfect orange/tangerine
Things I Cannot Do:
--drink carbonated beverages
--snap my fingers
--pretend to like someone/something when I don't
--roller skate or ice skate
--watch movies about Vietnam or drugs
--watch TV ads about suffering animals or children
Things I Cannot Stand:
--people who text in movie theaters (I HATE HATE HATE people who text during movies--the light is so freakin' bright!!!)
--basic grammar mistakes (like when people say "between him and I" or when people spell "a lot" as one word or when people say "I played good.")
--having to wait
--listening to people bite their nails
--people who drive under the speed limit
--cilantro
--Oprah Winfrey
--people listing non-family members as family members on facebook
Things I Love:
--ice water, no lemon
--plantains
--singing
--reading really long books with complicated family trees
--gossip and being in the know
--being first in line at big movie premieres
--playing boardgames (except ones that make me have to wait too long for it to be my turn again, like Monopoly or Risk or Scrabble)
--cooking/baking
--Michael Landon as Charles Ingalls
--quoting movie lines with people who get the references ("It's good, it's good.")
--randomly using a word you know you've *never* used before
--suddenly understanding how an expression came to be or understanding in which context to use it
--laughing so hard you can't breathe
--doing the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle
--reality TV marathons
--the stock market
--anything having to do with my mortgage, escrow, retirement funds, etc.
--how people can see where the puck is when they watch hockey
--why public restrooms in the U.S. are so gross while in France they are pristine
--how electronics work (though I am good at setting them up and using them)
Things I Do Not Care About:
--philosophy
--religion
--complicated politics or world issues
--most stories about your pets
--baseball
--what you dreamed last night
Odd Things I Do Well:
--putting furniture together and hooking up electronic devices
--remembering precise details
--sleuthing
--solving cryptograms in the newspaper
--whistling
--picking out the perfect orange/tangerine
Things I Cannot Do:
--drink carbonated beverages
--snap my fingers
--pretend to like someone/something when I don't
--roller skate or ice skate
--watch movies about Vietnam or drugs
--watch TV ads about suffering animals or children
Things I Cannot Stand:
--people who text in movie theaters (I HATE HATE HATE people who text during movies--the light is so freakin' bright!!!)
--basic grammar mistakes (like when people say "between him and I" or when people spell "a lot" as one word or when people say "I played good.")
--having to wait
--listening to people bite their nails
--people who drive under the speed limit
--cilantro
--Oprah Winfrey
--people listing non-family members as family members on facebook
Things I Love:
--ice water, no lemon
--plantains
--singing
--reading really long books with complicated family trees
--gossip and being in the know
--being first in line at big movie premieres
--playing boardgames (except ones that make me have to wait too long for it to be my turn again, like Monopoly or Risk or Scrabble)
--cooking/baking
--Michael Landon as Charles Ingalls
--quoting movie lines with people who get the references ("It's good, it's good.")
--randomly using a word you know you've *never* used before
--suddenly understanding how an expression came to be or understanding in which context to use it
--laughing so hard you can't breathe
--doing the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle
--reality TV marathons
Monday, August 2, 2010
my first blog post ever
I've talked about starting a blog for a long time, but I've resisted until now because I don't really need yet another thing to obsess over every time I get on my computer. As you know (and if you're taking the time to read my blog, you probably know me well enough to know), I'm obsessive and competitive and obsessively competitive, and somehow I will turn this blog into a competition. I don't know how, but it will happen, just like how I can't stop doing the trivia quiz on goodreads.com because it's my goal in life to rise above #44 or how I can't stop saving movie ticket stubs because I've kept every single one since 1989 and can't quit now.
Anyhoo, here goes nothin.'
I'll start by saying that I'm really devastated right now. Throughout my life I have gotten attached to certain products only to have them cruelly taken away from me by the stores that introduced me to those products. The first loved-and-lost product that I can remember was the lasagna I used to eat at Ruby Tuesday when I was little. It came in this little bowl with the cheese all melty that crusted over the sides of the bowl. I loved that lasagna and would order it every time my parents and I would eat at the Ruby Tuesday that used to be on the Strip on UT's campus. Then one day, there was no more lasagna on the menu. And that was the end of relationship with Ruby Tuesday.
Then years later, Kellogg's came out with this amazing granola sandwich bread that was like eating cereal in a sandwich. I ate it faithfully for 2 years, and then one day in 1994, it was discontinued. Since then, I've been on a quest for the perfect sandwich bread, and I'm still bitter 16 years later.
Then Trident gum, my beloved Trident gum that I have chewed for probably 20 years, betrayed me in 2001, when not only did the company change its wrapper from a lovely red, green, and blue to a dull red and black, but it also changed the flavor of the gum. Trident claimed it was a "new longer-lasting enhanced flavor," but that was just fancy jargon for "synthetic-tasting." I stayed loyal to Trident, though, despite the weird taste change, and became attached to the new Clear Mint flavor in purple packaging. I chewed this gum for about a year, and then all of a sudden, I couldn't find it at Kroger. They still carried it at Target, but I'd been burned before and could read the writing on the wall--Clear Mint Trident wasn't long for this world. Sure enough, a few months later, it was gone. I went back to my old stand-bys, the spearmint and original flavors, and I've chewed them ever since, but I do so more because it's my trademark to chew Trident gum, not because I really love the gum.
Then came the hair gel travesty of 2002. L.A.Looks used to make this great hair gel perfect for my hair, but all of a sudden, they came out with a "new longer-lasting enhanced hold" gel that made my hair feel crunchy in a redneck 1980's kind of way. For people with curly hair, product is necessary, so I spent the next few weeks rationing my remaining hair gel and testing all sorts of new products. I eventually found a great replacement, but I didn't find that great replacement until perhaps 3 years ago. Until then, I did the best I could, but it was a rough couple of years for my hair.
Recently, I have had two more products yanked from shelves. The Dannon yogurt Light & Fit 60-calorie assorted snack-packs of strawberry banana and peach are no longer available. No explanation. And I'm sorry, Dannon, but the 80-calorie snack-packs that aren't assorted and that only come in packs of 4 and not 6 are NOT adequate substitutes--stop trying to rip me off!
But the coup de grace came just today. Here's the back story: a few months ago, the dinner rolls I have been eating for a few years (Perpente's Ciabatah rolls) disappeared from the shelves at Publix. I asked customer service to special order the rolls for me, so for awhile, life was good again. And then, a month later, it got even better when lo and behold, the rolls were back at Publix! Now this was a shocking turn of events. Never before had a product disappeared, only to REappear later on. And yet, there they were. I was ecstatic. I even called friends to share my good news. But I should have known that my luck wouldn't last. Several weeks ago, the rolls disappeared again. Once again, I went to customer service, and once again, they special ordered...or so I thought. Today I received a personal call from the head of customer service at Publix. He told me that he had bad news--the Publix region we're in, the Atlanta region, does not have permission to order the product anymore. I have no idea what that means or why. Why does one need permission to order dinner rolls? Why do some people in other regions get to enjoy the deliciousness of Perpente's Ciabatah rolls, while other people have to go without? Seems to me that if I want to buy a product I should be allowed to buy it. I mean, isn't this America???
In any event, I now have no bread and no yogurt to eat. What's next? Probably my perfume that I've worn since 1997. The last few years when I've gone to buy more at the Lancome counter, they've certainly had it for sale, but it's not one of the featured perfumes; it's behind the counter. That seems like a bad sign to me. One of these days, I'm going to be told that that, too, has been discontinued.
So if you ever become a big fan of a certain product, you might want to make sure it's not something I really like, too, because if it is, it's only a matter of time before it vanishes into thin air. I guess if there's a lesson to be learned, it's this: as I once said to my friend Amanda about a character in a book she hadn't finished yet, "Don't get attached."
Anyhoo, here goes nothin.'
I'll start by saying that I'm really devastated right now. Throughout my life I have gotten attached to certain products only to have them cruelly taken away from me by the stores that introduced me to those products. The first loved-and-lost product that I can remember was the lasagna I used to eat at Ruby Tuesday when I was little. It came in this little bowl with the cheese all melty that crusted over the sides of the bowl. I loved that lasagna and would order it every time my parents and I would eat at the Ruby Tuesday that used to be on the Strip on UT's campus. Then one day, there was no more lasagna on the menu. And that was the end of relationship with Ruby Tuesday.
Then years later, Kellogg's came out with this amazing granola sandwich bread that was like eating cereal in a sandwich. I ate it faithfully for 2 years, and then one day in 1994, it was discontinued. Since then, I've been on a quest for the perfect sandwich bread, and I'm still bitter 16 years later.
Then Trident gum, my beloved Trident gum that I have chewed for probably 20 years, betrayed me in 2001, when not only did the company change its wrapper from a lovely red, green, and blue to a dull red and black, but it also changed the flavor of the gum. Trident claimed it was a "new longer-lasting enhanced flavor," but that was just fancy jargon for "synthetic-tasting." I stayed loyal to Trident, though, despite the weird taste change, and became attached to the new Clear Mint flavor in purple packaging. I chewed this gum for about a year, and then all of a sudden, I couldn't find it at Kroger. They still carried it at Target, but I'd been burned before and could read the writing on the wall--Clear Mint Trident wasn't long for this world. Sure enough, a few months later, it was gone. I went back to my old stand-bys, the spearmint and original flavors, and I've chewed them ever since, but I do so more because it's my trademark to chew Trident gum, not because I really love the gum.
Then came the hair gel travesty of 2002. L.A.Looks used to make this great hair gel perfect for my hair, but all of a sudden, they came out with a "new longer-lasting enhanced hold" gel that made my hair feel crunchy in a redneck 1980's kind of way. For people with curly hair, product is necessary, so I spent the next few weeks rationing my remaining hair gel and testing all sorts of new products. I eventually found a great replacement, but I didn't find that great replacement until perhaps 3 years ago. Until then, I did the best I could, but it was a rough couple of years for my hair.
Recently, I have had two more products yanked from shelves. The Dannon yogurt Light & Fit 60-calorie assorted snack-packs of strawberry banana and peach are no longer available. No explanation. And I'm sorry, Dannon, but the 80-calorie snack-packs that aren't assorted and that only come in packs of 4 and not 6 are NOT adequate substitutes--stop trying to rip me off!
But the coup de grace came just today. Here's the back story: a few months ago, the dinner rolls I have been eating for a few years (Perpente's Ciabatah rolls) disappeared from the shelves at Publix. I asked customer service to special order the rolls for me, so for awhile, life was good again. And then, a month later, it got even better when lo and behold, the rolls were back at Publix! Now this was a shocking turn of events. Never before had a product disappeared, only to REappear later on. And yet, there they were. I was ecstatic. I even called friends to share my good news. But I should have known that my luck wouldn't last. Several weeks ago, the rolls disappeared again. Once again, I went to customer service, and once again, they special ordered...or so I thought. Today I received a personal call from the head of customer service at Publix. He told me that he had bad news--the Publix region we're in, the Atlanta region, does not have permission to order the product anymore. I have no idea what that means or why. Why does one need permission to order dinner rolls? Why do some people in other regions get to enjoy the deliciousness of Perpente's Ciabatah rolls, while other people have to go without? Seems to me that if I want to buy a product I should be allowed to buy it. I mean, isn't this America???
In any event, I now have no bread and no yogurt to eat. What's next? Probably my perfume that I've worn since 1997. The last few years when I've gone to buy more at the Lancome counter, they've certainly had it for sale, but it's not one of the featured perfumes; it's behind the counter. That seems like a bad sign to me. One of these days, I'm going to be told that that, too, has been discontinued.
So if you ever become a big fan of a certain product, you might want to make sure it's not something I really like, too, because if it is, it's only a matter of time before it vanishes into thin air. I guess if there's a lesson to be learned, it's this: as I once said to my friend Amanda about a character in a book she hadn't finished yet, "Don't get attached."
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