Hunk Akert: Luke Gardiner, 1st Viscount Mountjoy

SWM, Politician
Likes: Travel, marriage, Catholics, mythology, and history

Having received the most enlightened of educations on my recent Grand Tour, you will find me to be quite a sensible man of feeling.  Being Irish, I (unlike that stupid stupid Burke) think that we've been a little harsh on Catholics lately.  Sexy Catholics shouldn't be prevented from marrying Sexy Protestants, I mean, c'mon; that's just silly.  But I digress.  Any interested lady will find me to be most devoted to King, country....and you.

I'd love to meet a pretty, virginal maiden with equally pretty sisters.  Gardening skills a major plus.

Mind Your Drinking, Gentlemen

Many of us have hit the gin bottle for one reason or another and, as a consequence, have had a night they can't remember or don't want to remember.  Just ask Lord Santry who could tell you first-hand about the evils of drinking.

Harry Barry, Lord Santry was no stranger to drink and debauchery but it nearly cost him his head one fateful night in 1739.  Santry was boozing with his friends in Palmerstown to the point where he probably wouldn't be able to recognize his mother.  In the midst of this drinking a poor sap by the name of Loughlin Murphy dared to offend our most drunken of Lords.  One can only imagine what Murphy's offense was (my guess is Murphy was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time) but it offended Santry so much that he drew his sword...or at least attempted to draw his sword.  Since some form of sobriety is needed in order to utilize basic motor skills Santry failed in unsheathing his weapon.  He let Murphy off with a warning that he would run him through if he were to utter another word.  Murphy replied that he had no intention of offending his lordship to which Santry finally managed to free his sword and fatally stabbed Murphy. 

Despite Barry's efforts to cover up his crime he was sentenced by his peers and found guilty.  Luckily for him though, his buddy, the Duke of Devonshire, stepped in and secured a pardon from King George II who gave him a get-out-of-beheading pass.  But rest assured, the murderer spent the rest of his unhappy life riddled by debts which eventually lost him his home.

The Colonies Celebrate St Patrick's Day

Happy St Patrick's Day!

For many of you this holiday means celebrating your heritage, for others it is a good excuse for a drinking.  Many traditions go with St Patrick's Day, strangely enough many of those traditions were born in America rather than the country so celebrated on the holiday.  While visiting Ireland I recall telling my (now) ex's mother about how you had to wear green or you would be pinched.  She thought that was just adorable!  A year beforehand I had made it to my Irish Mecca: Dublin on St Patrick's Day where Lauren and I celebrated another tradition, attending the parade.  We couldn't get over how most of the participants weren't Irish, but American!

The truth is Americans have a strong tradition of being big fans (perhaps even the biggest) of St Patrick's Day.  This tradition predates the United States itself.  The first St Patrick's Day parade was held in New York City in 1762.  Irish soldiers serving King and Country marched through the city to the sounds of traditional Irish music.

So this St Patrick's Day make sure you keep the tradition going strong, especially if it involves toasting with authentic 18th century beer and spirits!

Hunk Alert: Charles, Marquess of Londonderry

SWM, Soldier (Officer), Ambassador, Civil-Servant
Likes: Ireland, England, Fighting, Foxy Ladies, Drinking, Writing

I consider myself a real man's man.  I like my booze plentiful, my women available and my hats extremely tall.  A thing isn't done right unless it's done to the EXTREME.  So if there's an uprising I will squash it, if there is a woman I will grab her, if there is a beer I will drink it, and if a dispute arises I will throw punches.  But I also have a sensitive side and in my more vulnerable moments you'll find me at my writing desk.

I am looking for a woman who can turn heads.  A smart, enterprising woman of grace would be the most suitable for me.  She must also be able to travel frequently, be sociable, and deal with a sudden bursts of pure testosterone from time to time.  Heiresses welcome to make their acquaintances.

Quotables

"The D[uke] will tell you of Burke and Sheridan's reconciliation, which was perfectly Irish, for they now are upon worse terms than ever."

-Lady Jersey to Georgiana

John Jameson, The Scot Who Makes the Best Irish Whiskey

Guinness isn't the only popular Irish alcohol that been brewed up since the 18th century.  Just as Guinness is synonymous with Irish beer, Jameson is synonymous with Irish whiskey.  The recent ad campaigns in the US have been capitalizing on that legendary Irish nature.  However, John Jameson was Scottish!

Believe it or not, the whiskey business was a second career of John; a mid-life crisis decision of you will.  He was originally a lawyer in Scotland but John had a dream and that dream was to make a delicious whiskey and the place to do that was Dublin. Of course, moving to a city known for its whiskey was jumping headfirst into a competitive field.  Dublin had many distilleries and breweries in the 1780s.  John knew if he wanted to keep his Bow Street distillery he would have to make his product stand out, so he used different ingredients.  It was common for whiskey to be distilled twice in the 18th century, and John opted to distill it thrice for good measure, to this day Jameson still brags about "triple distilling" their whiskey.

Another smart business move was giving the workers good wages; happy workers means happy whiskey.  John knew his workers' names too and was known for giving them creative nicknames and he had no problem having a drink with them after their shift.  In fact, he was known to throw parties at the distillery on a regular basis.  Just imagine, taking the time to set and powder your hair to attend a distillery party!  Yes, it seems that John Jameson was quite the entrepreneur which is why his whiskey is still popular today.  So when you sip on that whiskey today you're tasting an authentic 18th century brew, cheers!

Teen Mom: Bess

If Bess Hervey was born into a normal middle-class family, she may have had the luxury of marrying in her twenties.  The average age for a woman to marry was about 25, but many well-to-do families rushed their daughters into marriage.  Bess was one of the unlucky girls who found herself married with a lack of maturity to handle her new life changes.  The new Mrs. Foster was also especially fertile and found herself at the age of 17 already with a baby.  Reading her notes from the period makes one feel as if they are watching an episode of MTV's Teen Mom, there is such an abundance of whining one has to wonder where the cheese is!

First, she whimpered about her new home in Dunleer being a "Dungeon."
Momma Hervey (Lady Bristol) wrote back to tell her to appreciate what she had and if it was so bad to do something about it! She recommended picking out some new wallpaper.

When Frederick was born Bess wrote again to her mother describing the horrors of labor.
Lady Bristol, having gone through the ordeal of labor seven times over, once again had little sympathy for the over-dramatization of the process and asked Bess to reflect more on the joys of motherhood rather than complain about the toils of the labor.

After a month of laying in, Bess was re-released to the world and all she could do was roll her eyes at it.  First she remarked on how she found all babies "much alike" and then bemoaned how her son was "dependent" on her.  Not being a mother myself, I noticed two-month-olds tend to do that.  One has to wonder how much mothering Bess was actually doing seeing as she had a wet nurse. 

It wasn't only Bess' son which bored her but now Dublin seemed just as odious as Dunleer.  While many contemporary accounts rave about Dublin's ability to be a thoroughly diverting metropolis Bess wrote, "je m'ennuie à la mort" [I am bored to death].  Besides finding the city "dirty" and "dull" she found the women "ill educated & indelicate."  But perhaps Bess' real beef with Dublin was the fact that her flirting wasn't reciprocated.  According to Bess the men were "too much engrossed by Politicks to engage much in society..."

Season 2

Lady Bristol was quick to tell Bess to stop complaining

When Bess was three months pregnant with her son, Augustus she had enough of her boring life and ran away.  She then met up with a Mr. Churchill and attempted absconding to Scotland with him.  One has to wonder if Bess was so bored by Dublin if Scotland would have been much better? In any case she never would reach the amusements of Scotland for her husband caught her in York.

The year was now 1782 and Bess was staying in Bath with her sister, Mary.  Both ladies were poor, separated from their husbands, and ostracized from public (I bet Dunleer wasn't looking too bad anymore!).  It was here where Bess was to be introduced to the Duke and Duchess of Devonshire who befriended the two fallen women.  However, Bess only too easily left her sister in the dust when the Devonshires invited her to accompany them out of Bath. Bess' sob story of her lost children had pulled on their heartstrings more than Mary's, whose child had been allowed to stay with her after the separation.

The truth of the matter is, Bess only really experienced being a "teen mom," for by the time she was in her twenties her husband had custody of her two sons, whom she wouldn't see for another fourteen years.  Her other children (Caroline and Clifford) were illegitimate offspring of the Duke and were also raised more by others than by Bess.  Bess would find that she appreciated being a mother only when the ability was taken away from her.

Tart of the Week: Peg Plunkett

In 1727 Margaret Plunkett was born in County Westmeath, Ireland.  She would be destined to lead the hard-knock life that many women of the lower classes were forced to struggle for survival in.  However, Peg wasn't afraid to take down a few people in the process.  Her mother died when Peg was young and her father left his children in the care of the sadistic eldest brother who constantly beating Peg and her sisters with a whip.  The abuse was so bad Peg once had to cut the sleeves of her dress because of her swollen arms.  In further acts of cruelty her brother denied two suitors who asked Peg to marry them, forcing her to be kept prisoner in the household.  Peg could only take so much abuse and ran away to Dublin as an escape.

Once in Dublin, Peg quickly took up with a gentleman who promptly got her pregnant.  Peg, however, found the situation quite freeing because she managed to get a home out of it.  But when Peg tragically lost her child, the man and house followed suit.  When the next man that came into Peg's life offered her money for her company, Peg realized that this would be the new lifestyle she would take in order to remain out of the clutches of her abusive brother.  Peg fell in love with her social life in the bustling Georgian city, there was always someone to see or something to do with the endless stream of concerts and balls.  Of course all these things cost a pretty penny.

Peg was forced to give up the temptations of the city when she became the kept mistress of a Mr  Leeson.  She took his last name played wife while all the while rejecting his formal proposals of marriage.  The relationship dissolved when Mr Leeson realized Peg was screwing around on him, and she was kicked to the curb, only to be picked up by a Mr. Lawless whom Peg flung herself into a dramatic relationship with.  You know those couples who you can't stand because they are constantly suspicious and jealous of the attention the other receives from others?  That was the relationship Peg had with Mr Lawless.  The two would fly at each other every time he looked at a pretty lady or when a handsome gent winked at her.  One time when Peg caught him drinking champagne with some floozy she grabbed the decanter and was about to smash it into the tart's face had she not been stopped.  The two also got violent with each other until the relationship ultimately ended, leaving Peg heartbroken.

Peg herself was quite scrappy, and being a true bad-girl, never afraid of a fight.  When an actress/courtesan spread venomous gossip about her, Peg waited outside after the actress' play got out to just hurl insults at her.  When a famous violinist requested no women of the demi-monde (fallen women) be at his performance Peg purposely went to the next show and was seen being physically escorted out fighting all the way.  When the bouncer got a little too pushy in the process of getting her out, Peg ran to the authorities who arrested the celebrated musician.  Another time the street gang, the Mohawks broke into Peg's house and she fought them tooth and nail, unfortunately at the loss of her daughter and the child she was carrying.

Peg jumped back and forth between poverty and luxury.  Toward the end of her life she ran a brothel and when finding herself extremely broke, she wrote her memoirs in order to put money back in her pockets.  Despite the rough and tumble life, Peg managed to survive to the age of 70, dying in 1797.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Robert Dighton, Geography Bewitched or, a Droll Caricature Map of Ireland, 1793

I hope you have your green on! Last year we celebrated with some Irish tarts. This year I thought we'd take a quick look into the 18th century view of Ireland via satirical prints. That way, you can be the judge.

James Gillray, Portrait of an Irish chief; drawn from Life at Wexford, 1798

James Gillray, Irish Gratitude, 1782

James Gillray, United Irishmen in Training, 1798

James Gillray, Horrors of an Irish Union, 1798

The 9,000 Year Lease

It's time to bring up an event that is close to my heart: beer. Well, I shouldn't say beer because I'm a beer snob and have a favourite kind which would be Guinness stout. It only figures after all, I'm of Irish descent AND Guinness is a product of the eighteenth century! Yes, that 1759 on the label is a proclamation that you are drinking the same beer our enlightened friends once did, and you don't even have to go to a historical reenactment tourist trap to drink it either! God bless that maverick Arthur Guinness!

In 1755 Arthur took a risk and opened up a brewery outside of Dublin with £100 that was bequeathed to him in his godfather's will. The brewery was such a success that he decided to take an even bigger risk and move his business to the capital. He found a nice little plot in the west of the city and signed a 9,000 year lease at £45 a year. This was St James Gate and Guinness is still brewed there to this day. St James Gate itself, is full of history. It was the western gate to medieval Dublin and the starting point for Irish pilgrims. A brewery was put in in the late 17th century and that is where Arthur would establish his Guinness brewery.

250 years later and we are still enjoying the iconic stout. Can you believe it's been 250 years since that lease was signed? Well, not quite yet. September 24 will be Arthur Day which marks when he signed the lease for St James Gate. So at 17:59 GMT you must raise your pint of Guinness for a worldwide toast to the enlightened entrepreneur. Cheers!

Georgiana on Irish Women

In a letter to her mother Georgiana brought up the difference between wild Irish roses and English roses:

"I do not mean that Irish ladies are less virtuous, but their educations are coarser, and in language and manner an Irishwoman even of good essential conduct will allow herself what wd frighten an English fille. Swearing is common, and if angry they will not only write but publish against each other, and go into any lengths, which we are too well bred to think of. Long ago an Irish lady, in telling a friend of mine a story which really did her honor, enterlarded it with so many 'upon my souls' and 'the devil would have it' that the English woman was quite frightened."

When Lady Spencer wrote back, she and her Irish daughter-in-law, Lavinia, were together and she wrote to say that they both agreed with Georgiana's observations and that they weren't exaggerated.
I now have a new excuse for my sailor's mouth!

Tart of the Week: George Anne Bellamy

No, George Anne Bellamy isn't England's version of the Chevalier d'Eon. George Anne was very much a woman and was born in eastern Ireland in 1727. Her mother was the very unfortunate Miss Seal who was not only a Quaker but a mere schoolgirl when she discovered she was pregnant by Lord Trywaley. Miss Seal had already conducted an affair with the Irish aristocrat which resulted in a son. Trywaley went away looking for a rich wife before he returned to the old fling. However, Trywaley still needed a wife and he went to Lisbon in search of one, inviting Miss Seal to come with him. When she realized his true intentions in Portugal, Miss Seal quickly returned to England and married a sailor by the name of Bellamy. But when baby George Anne was born not long after the wedding Bellamy soon disappeared too.

The series of unlucky events continued at George Anne's christening. The hard of hearing priest didn't quite get the name of "Georgiana" when her mother said it. For whatever reason he heard "George Anne" and so became the girl named George.

Unlike many bastard daughters of aristocrats, George Anne had a a privileged upbringing. Her father sent her to France to receive her education like every other proper young English lady. Given this upbringing you would think George Anne would try to nab herself a rich husband and settle down to a wealthy lifestyle. But no, she took a path she was born into rather than the opportunity her father presented to her. She moved back in with her mother who convinced her to pursue acting, figuring George Anne's beauty could make some fast cash. After playing Monimia in The Orphan at Covent Garden George Anne met with the success her mother hoped for and many parts soon followed.

Success was sweet for "Mrs. Bellamy." She caught David Garrick's eye which, of course meant instant success and celebrity treatment. She also became his leading lady since the position was now open due to his recent breakup with Mrs Cibber. George Anne would be seen around town partying it up with her male-friends. Naughty! Not only did she make many friends but enemies as well. There was a notorious rivalry between her and fellow Irish actress, Peg Woffington that supposedly began when they were both in the (appropriately named) Rival Queens. The rumour mills cited jealousy and gowns as to the cause of the rift, but who could know for sure. The rivalry ended when Peg was on her deathbed and she called George Anne so they could kiss and makeup.

Of course, the good life couldn't last forever. George Anne's dapples with men led to pregnancies without marriages. She also was cursed with faded beauty. George Anne's wilted beauty meant no one was interested in seeing her on stage anymore. Meanwhile, debts from her frivilous celebrity days were piling up and debtor's prison loomed in the distance.

In an act of desperation George Anne wrote her revealing memoirs, An Apology for the Life of George Anne Bellamy. As the title implies, the book was an autobiography of degregation at the author's social expense. Although the books sold, it was a little too late to save her from monetary ruin. George Anne died not too long afterwards, a fallen woman, her last moments spent hidden in shame.

Celebrating Saint Patrick's Day in Good Company

It is near impossible for this girl to give a decent blog update on and around the days surround this most green of holidays. However, I feel it necessary to celebrate on the blog as well. Since this holiday celebrates all things Irish I would like to remind you that we owe the country of Ireland many thanks for supplying us with some of our favourite tarts.

Kiss them, they're Irish!

Elizabeth Farren

Lavinia Spencer

Dorothy Jordan

Peg Woffington

Gertrude Mahon