Father's Day Reminiscences

 

June 18, 2006

Father's Day

After worship at Chalcedon Presbyterian Church,  we gathered at Pine Lark for a Sunday lunch of boiled shrimp with Louis sauce followed by listening to a CD of spirituals in the living room.

Fun things to remember about WDJ  a la five senses:

Touch:  steady hands coupled with practiced technical skills to perform delicate operations on small human anatomy (arteries)....... and remove splinters from children's fingers and toes

Sight:  green eyes that were observant - dont ever think he wasn't paying attention ~

Hearing:  loved singing/listening to music like spirituals and Handel's Messiah  

Taste:  keen taste buds that allowed him to detect specific flavors in our cooked dishes and he always ate whatever I prepared.

Smell:  distinctly shaped nose that loved the scent of gardenias, and hence, his wife's perfume (White Shoulders);  on his 80th birthday I gave him a new supply white cotton handkerchiefs - 80 of them!

On this day in 2023, I re-listened to his 1987 lecture on organ transplantation and brain death.  It was nice to hear his voice and be reminded of his astute reasoning skills.

Mother's Day

This year is my second for *firsts*.   In 2021, my father died.  Then 21 months later, in 2022, my mother died. 

And so, that just means that I am experiencing once again those *firsts* without one or the other. 

It's just my turn to suffer  loss. 

I am thankful for the loyalty and support of my nuclear family and special friends.

I am blessed to have had both of my parents for such a long time in my short life.... to get to know them as an adult as well as an *older* adult is indeed special.

In memory of my recently deceased mother, this year for Mother's Day I made a donation to Frontlineresponse.org  This particular organization has a strong presence in my city/state well-known for attracting crowds for special sporting events and conventions.

To show my heart for someone I dont believe I have to have "walked a mile in her/his shoes" (moccasins*).  I am willing to be judged by the standard of Holy Scripture and strive to be a good steward ("put my money where my mouth is.")  Support for those in crisis pregnancy has long been dear to my heart and now I add support to the rescue of those ensnared in se*-trafficking.

In the past in memory of my father I made donations to topics dear to his heart:  pro-life ministries (GRTL) and private practice/education of medicine/surgery (AAPS & GA Vascular Foundation)

PS - Red Tulips on Moma's yet-to-be-marked grave are representative of her battle with Parkinson's.

PPS Family group photo taken 4/21/13 - ten years ago ... on my 55th birthday celebrated after church with dinner at the Canoe restaurant in Vinings, GA on the banks of the Chattahoochee River where I grew up.

* reference to popular poem by M Lathrap

FOR A TIME OF SORROW*

My father died one year ago today and I thought I share some words* that have comforted me.

 Sorrow is one of the things that are lent, not given. 

A thing that is lent may be taken away;

a thing that is given is not taken away.

Joy is given.

Sorrow is lent.

We are not our own, we are bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20),

"and our sorrow is not our own" 

(Samuel Rutherford said this a long time ago),

it is lent to us for just a little while

that we may use it for eternal purposes.

Then it will be taken away

and everlasting joy will be our Father's gift to us,

and the Lord God will wipe away all tears from off all faces (Is 25:8)

So, let us use this "lent" thing to draw us 

nearer to the heart of Him who was once a Man of Sorrows,

(He is not that now, but He does not forget the feeling of sorrow).

Let us use it to make us more tender with others, 

as He was when on earth, and is still,

for He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities. (Heb 4:15)

*excerpt from Edges of His Ways by Amy Carmichael's

Photo Credit Sheffield Leithart

Father's Day Menu

Smithfield Spiral-sliced Ham
Squash Casserole
Steamed Cauliflower
Marinated Button Mushrooms
Herb-buttered Rolls

Chocolate Box Shiraz

Chocolate Creme Pie
Coffee






Dinner table conversation was lively because not only did we ask my parents to describe the personalities of their fathers, but we also debated the merits of homemade versus store-bought pies.  Whoops, almost forgot!  We fine-tuned our recipe for margaritas scheduled for release during CWAC, our annual family reunion at Callaway Gardens.

My father's three adjectives for his father were quiet, calm, and affable.  He practiced medicine (obstetrics) in Birmingham AL for over fifty years, delivering lots of babies, some of whom are now seeing his grandson (my brother) for vascular disease.  Living to age 90, he is remarkable for having served in both WWI and II.  Here's a link to a pencil portrait of him.

My mother's three adjectives for her father were teaser, competitive, and respected.  As an Atlanta general surgeon, he was admired and loved by many, unfortunately dying of heart disease at the young age of 58.  Here's a link to a portion of his inaugural address before the Fulton County Medical Society.

Now it's time to turn my attention back to my heavenly Father on this the Lord's Day by reading John Witherspoon's sermon addressing Psalm 76:10.  Although first delivered in 1776, on the eve of the War for Independence, it's message is timely, especially now as Americans' civil liberties are being assaulted on all sides.

The title is The Dominion of Providence Over the Passion of Men.  Three adjectives for my Heavenly Father demonstrated in Psalm 76 and exposited in Withersppoon's sermon are omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent.

Here's the link at oll.libertyfund.org.

On second thought, I'm stopping after five pages, pacing myself at five pages per day for morning devotions.  And now I will fold clothes and watch Lucia di Lammermoor because my daughter sang in the chorus of the Ann Arbor Opera's recent production.

 A Bientot!

Fathers, Cars, and Dogs

Reviewing Jan Karon's latest book, Home to Holly Springs, caused me to ponder fathers, in general, and our relationships with them.

More specifically though, I began thinking about their cars and dogs... and what that says about them, if anything.

Uncharacteristically (at least in my mind) does Father Tim drive a red mustang convertible!  His mutt is no less than a Bouvier with a lot of Irish Wolfhound named Barnabas, nick-named Gentleman.

My father's dream car was a 1968 Pontiac GTO convertible. This army green antique is still in the family, in the predictible possession of my younger brother who was the last to drive it.

His dog?

My father's family dog was a white Sptiz named Snow. There is an hilarious story about a special encounter between Snow and the family cat, Saggy.  It's worthy of its own post.... another day ;-)

 As an adult, we had Weimaraners. Legend and Otto. Oh, the stories about those family pets.




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So, join in.

Tell me about your father, his car, or his dog.

And if you dont know, invite him for dinner this week and ask him.

It's family history.

Better late than never.

Father's Day Menu


Baked Pork Chops 'n
Rice

Collard Greens

Grilled Yellow Squash





Pinwheel Croissants

Black Swan Merlot
Tea/Coffee

Banana Pudding
(made with Nutter Butter cookies)



At church today we were blessed by worshipping together with the saints: singing hymns and psalms, hearing the preached Word of God, participating in the Lord's Supper, and receiving the benediction.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth! Psalm 57:11

Father's Day Menu


Beef Stroganoff
Wide Egg Noodles
Green Beans Almondine
Sliced Tomatoes w/Chipotle Hummus
French Roll

Italian Red Wine (Monte Pulcianano)

Jill's White Cake
Coffee








Click on the link to read about a special Sunday dinner fifty years ago.

Ratatouille

It all started with the gift of the zucchini in the picture.

And you cant really see the eggplant in the back.







But if you've never tasted this marvelous vegetable stew, I'm here to encourage you to prepare it this summer.



Whoops......out of time this morning.

I'll be back with recipes and commentary. Although you can read my Xanga entry.


Finished product!















*Ratatouille*

And I'm not talking about the new movie!



Grilled Italian Sausage














for those meat-loving men around my dinnertable.


The Xanga link above contains my Father's Day Menu.

How to say no

In a light-hearted way, I might say that I learned this tactic from my father…who does have a reputation for bringing up the opposite side of an argument for the sake of discussion. Can you say "devil's advocate?" Or it might be a gene he passed on. But, in reality, there is great comfort in his ability to assess a situation accurately and advise prudently, even if it means telling a child, a spouse, or a colleague "no." The current jingle or ad campaign *just say no* is farcical to me because rarely can one say "NO" one time (against taking drugs, drinking/driving, whatever) and have it suffice or protect. One must be able to say no over and over again. Repeatedly we are faced with situations in which we must resist evil and do the right thing. This means learning how to say no (or voting against.)  Heaven help those who don’t ask or seek counsel and proceed based on thinking that "the counselor will just say no" or say to oneself, "I'll go ahead; it's easier to ask forgiveness afterwards." Thank God I have a father who has the strength of character to say no, not in a knee-jerk, tyrannical fashion, but after careful contemplation with Biblical resolve to conserve his faith, family, and society.

He's a conservative.

How not to start a sentence with why

This is a pretty simple instruction, but something I have had to work on. Thank goodness for parents who will tell children over and over again the same principle in an effort to mold their behaviors into well-rounded, Godly grown-ups. So, that's basically what this admonition is about. My father (and my mother) cautioned me against using why when asking my children why they did something. It just encourages the youngster to make up something. So, rephrase the question in an effort to zero in on the issue. It also keeps me from sounding like I'm giving someone the third degree, too.

Note to self: file under parenting, when you finally figure out how to categorize your posts :)

How to watch TV

With your eyes closed; yes, really! Turn on the TV, and I fall asleep! Must be genetic because that's one of the memories I have…..asleep in his reclining chair, after a long, hard day's work with the TV on. I would come downstairs about 11:30 pm for a study break. Never irritated at being awakened, he'd answer any and all questions I had, we'd visit for a bit while watching Johnny Carson's monologue, and then I'd head back to the books.
But seriously speaking, while the TV might be turned onto a golf game (insert sport of the season)or an old war movie, my father, the multi-tasker is always doing something else: reading the newspaper, a book, his Bible, some newsletter; participating in a teleconference, preparing a talk, or perhaps napping. So, what did I learn from my father about television? Use discretion when choosing what you watch. Televisions are not inherently bad, the way guns are not inherently wicked…..it's the way people choose to use them that makes them conduits of evil.

How to eat eggs

Each and every morning my father rises early and eats breakfast. He thinks it's the most important meal of the day. Furthermore, he thinks that there is no better breakfast than one with eggs! First, he has a piece of fruit (half a grapefruit in winter, one quarter of a cantaloupe in summer.) Then he eats two fried eggs, two pieces of toast, a small glass of milk, and a cup of coffee. Once upon a time, bacon was on his plate, but I think that's been gone for thirty years or more. As a youngster, eggs were not my favorite food. I think I gagged on them unless I had a piece of toast. It didn't really matter. That's what was served for breakfast and that is what I ate :) That's how I learned to eat eggs...by my father's example.

Eggs have gotten some bad press lately, but I maintain that they are the perfect breakfast food. They are considered a perfect protein, one which contains the eight essential amino acids. Once those are present, our body can manufacture the other 14, which helps to optimize overall metabolism. Hence, I continued my father's example by serving my children eggs for breakfast. I told them it was brain food. And remember, teachers can always tell which children have eaten a good breakfast.

Here's a fine *egg* poem by Bunyan for your morning devotion.

Choral Music

Daddy sang in his high school choral group at Woodlawn High School in Birmingham, AL. They were called The Warblers or The Minstrels. In addition, he seems to have sung with a barbershop-type quartet as well. For a while he sang with our church's choir. He always has good stories to tell about practices, performances, and reunions as far as singing goes. Furthermore, he is always willing to attend one of my daughter's choral concerts even if it's a distance away. It just makes for good discussions and connections between generations. This afternoon after Sunday dinner, we listened to Promised Land, a CD of spirituals sung by All Saints Church Choir. He knew all the songs, especially Ain-a That Good News. If you click on the link, scroll down to find the audio files. There are two choices. Listen to both :)

Sunday Feast

Father's Day 2006

We always have a big *dinner* after church on Sunday. And I dont *cook* on Sunday evenings. One can eat, it's just along the lines of popcorn or a bowl of cereal.

For me part of the challenge in cooking and serving any meal is preparation ahead of time, so that I dont have to jump up and down from the table. Furthermore, for Sundays, I really prefer to finish all the prep on Saturday with only the minor things, like steaming veggies right before serving, left until mealtime.

Menus sorta come to me. I am influenced by the seasons and the weather and the tastes of my guests. I write them down and save them. Now I know where I will put them. In my guest book! Never mind the fact that the guests dont actually get to sign their names and make comments. I'll do it!

Now, without any further delay, today we are dining on...

Chilled Georgia Shrimp served with Louis Sauce
Steamed Asparagus
Tortellini Capri
Squash Casserole
Onion Foccaccia

Iced Tea
Pinot Grigio (Barone FINI Valdadige)

Pecan Pie a la mode
Coffee

Five Things My Father Taught Me

1) How to say *no*.
2) How to watch TV.
3) How to eat eggs.
4) How to avoid starting a sentence with *why*.
5) How to appreciate choral music.

Stay tuned for the stories.

MD

My Daddy


When Daddy signs his name
He always writes *M.D.*
That's so people all will know
That he belongs to me.
For *M.D.* means *My Daddy*
Or something just the same.
And that is why he always
Puts these letters on his name.
Some letters on his name are small,
But these are not you see.
He always makes them big like that
Because He's proud of me.

Karen Weihs

WDJ Pastel Portrait

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. Ex20:12

Image Credit

Father's Day Menu 2005

Marinated Steak Salad
Pesto Pasta
Steamed Cauliflower
Herb Rolls

Merlot/Iced Tea

Chocolate Pie


There will be nine of us around the dining room table after church. We will tell a favorite story about our fathers. The *celebration* started early in the week by serving favorite meals: 1)BBQ ribs, steamed cabbage, corn on cob 2)Boiled Shrimp, Spinach Salad (mangoes&mushrooms) 3)Pizza Night 4)Movie Night (popcorn&Batman) 5)Favorite B'fast: French Toast & Bacon.

What do you do when the way to your man's heart is NOT through the stomach?

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