CAUTION: Woman In Progress

has been crazy. Oh, not outwardly. Outwardly the world exists in the same sort of controlled chaos it normally does. A planet may have bitten the dust (figuratively speaking) but all in all, the same ol' same ol'. No. It's just ME that has been crazy for the last little while. My mind is so tired and my body has either decided it hates me or twentyseven years of abuse are finally starting to take their toll. No, I'm not a crack addict or anything like that, but I haven't exactly taken care of my body either. Multiple scrapes, sprains and the like. Not to mention the years and YEARS of being morbidly obese. And sadly the morbidly obese part is what keeps me away from doctors because honestly? I know I'm fat. I don't need some overeducated and highly over rated MD to tell me that. And yes. That is normally the case whenever I've gone to a doctor. Every darn thing wrong with me is because I'm fat. (But I digress. That isn't the point of this pos...

To perk up a bland Tuesday morning... Sex, Church and Pancakes Teen age sex: The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!" Church: A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine ...

Yes, there are times in a woman’s life where she does this. It’s that “curse of Eve” thing and I believe ya’ll know what I mean. Blech! Were it possible to go back in time, I’d go back to five minutes before that insolent witch plucked that fruit and beat her over the head with that dumbass serpent. But anyway, that’s neither here nor there. *sigh* My weekend was fair to midlin’ as my granddaddy always says. Not sure what it means but I suppose it’s something like “pretty good.” I stayed at home Friday night and fought with Libby. No news there. Saturday I stayed home and fought with Libby until she decided she was too pooped to pop and she napped the rest of the day. That left me with plenty of time to get some much needed housework done. Mostly laundry. And I got lots and lots of reading done. Yay me! hehe Finished Sarah Mlynowski’s Me vs. Me and loved every second of it. That Sarah’s right up there with Jennifer Weiner if you ask me. And ya’ll know what a Jen Weiner fan I a...

Could this week BE any longer? lol I'm sleepy. Eyes are heavy. *sigh* I woke up around 2:30 or so this morning and COULD NOT go back to sleep. Far too much crap rollin' around in the old noggin. Crap that can't be solved in the wee hours of the morning but crap that would not shut the heck up and let me sleep. So what did I do? I read, of course. Patricia McLinn's The Right Brother . It was goooood. Of course, I'd read most of it already so I just finished reading it in the wee hours of the morning. But it was gooooood. I now have a new dream hero. Unfortunately, the book was so darn good that it DIDN'T put me to sleep so that although I finished it at like, 3:30 am I still could not get to sleep. When I finally DID drift off the alarm went off about 20 minutes later. *sigh* Not. Fun Then when I got to work we were having network issues and I could not access any of my drives in order to, you know. Werk . Fiddled with that for about an hour while lis...

The lady I got Libby from sent me these photographs yesterday. She took them the day before Libby moved in with me. I've got two things to say: Why is she never that still at home? Doesn't she look like Her Royal Highness? LOL

*sighs dramatically* I done been tagged! hehehe Jana tagged me and yeah it's a couple days late and no, I'm not talking about myself. ;-) If you look closely, you'll notice a pattern. hehehe Book MeMe 1. One book that changed your life. Up A Road Slowly by Irene Hunt. It was the first book I remember reading that really made me fall in love with the fictional world. 2. One book you've read more than once. Too Much Temptation by Lorie Foster 3. One book you would want on a desert island. Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner 4. One book that made you laugh. Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie 5. One book that made you cry. Whole Lot Of Love by Justine Davis 6. One book that you wish had been written. Any book with my name on it! 7. One book you wish had never been written. I don’t know. I’ve never read one I hated that much. 8. One book you are currently reading. The Right Brother by Patricia McLinn 9. One book you have been meaning to read. Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warre...

It's that time of year again when I (and the rest of the world) get to make fun of this year's freshmen! hehehe My comments and general snarkage are in ( ). BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST® FOR THE CLASS OF 2010 Members of the class of 2010, entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988. For them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead. (I know like three of these.) 1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union. (You’d be surprised how darned scary that student union is…) 2. They have known only two presidents. (Uh…Clinton and Bush, right?? See. I’m not all stoopid. hehe) 3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt. (I thought it was just since 9/11. Shows how much I know…) 4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S. (And…uh…who’s he again?) 5. They have grown up getting lost in "big boxes." (I didn’t think kids did t...

Is that when they get to be too bad you can always put 'em in their crate. hehehehe I know that sounds awful but I equate it with sending a child to his/her room. And that's exactly what I had to do last night. I had no choice. I couldn't even walk across the room without having my feet attacked and dag-gummit, the girl has learned to climb the couch unassisted so I couldn't even put my feet up on the couch to evade her. So Libby got put in a time out. She, of course, was NOT happy but them's the rules. You attack Mommy's feet ya get put in time out. She was much calmer when I let her back out twenty minutes later. I know, ya'll find this all vastly fascinating, right? LOL Anyhow, this morning was rather distressing as I discovered that my car has a flat tire. Musta leaked out at some point last night cuz I don't remember it being flat yesterday. It isn't a humoungous deal at this very instant since I carpool with my mom anyway. BUT...I must have it ...

Otherwise known as "My Weekend." I am not fit for motherhood. I ain't I tell ya! Yeah, I speaketh of the pup named Libby who doth driveth me insane. For the past two weeks I feel like I've just been this giant chew toy who constantly screams "No!" and "Stop that!" and "Outside, Libby. Outside!" My hands, my feet, my legs and clothes...heck, even my FACE has been fair game to this little monster who's taken over my home. I've never felt so abused in all my life. That, and I'm constantly having to protect the things I don't want to replace...like the carpet. And my couch. So I got on-line Friday and looked up some methods of how to break a puppies chewing habit. There were pages upon pages from so-called experts giving advice that seemed do-able and sane at the time. And they suggested ways that didn't involve me beating the poor thing half to death. Definitely a good thing because I hate the idea of beating anything, le...

Ya'll remember the saga of the new underwear back in June? The picture below is the reason for the new underwear and the trama of not being able to go home. Looks like they did nothing, right? That's what I thought, too. Then a week later, this happened. And Jana was happy. hehehe They have gone back over it since the above picture was taken. Added more white rock so that it's fully paved. Was all this worth the trauma and drama of not being able to get to my own darn house? Not really. :-/ (Yeah, yeah, I know this like OLD NEWS but just like not being able to spell, I never said I was prompt, either. hehehe)

This is my crew. We stick together like glue. hehehe Bren on the far left, Ms. B in the middle and Meeeeee on the right. This was taken back in May when we had Staff Appreciation Day at work. Don't we look delirious? hehehe A little bit about my crew: I've known them since I was...ten? Eleven? I'm not sure. They were my mother's co-workers first and I used to go to work with Mama some during the summers when I was a kid. Runnin' amok in the library, is what I did. LOL Who would have ever thought back then that one day these ladies would be MY friends and co-workers? Certianly not me. As a kid, I liked 'em fine but they were the old ladies my mama worked with. LOL (Bren would KILL me if she knew I was calling her an old lady...especially back then since she was in her twenties, I think. hehehe) I was glad when I started working here, though, that I had all that history with them. It made my life a whole lot easier to work with women I already liked and respec...

I can't get into the details here but I have a particular prayer need involving work. If ya'll could say a quick prayer for me that this issue get resolved I'd be eternally grateful. Otherwise I might go crazy and ya'll will find me curled under my desk with a letter opener ready to do some damage. LOL In all seriousness, I really do need some prayer on this and I know prayer works miracles. You pray for me and I'll pray for you. Much love, Jana

Not only does sin hinder prayer; prayer hinders sin. The two are always opposed. The more careless we are about sin, the less we will pray. The more we pray, the less careless we will be about sin. Both sin and prayer are powerful forces. Which one is moving you? -- Dr. Alvin Vander Griend

Libby and I had our first big fight this morning...over whether or not my feet are chew toys. I'm bigger. I won. But I think she cussed me out. :-/ I sooooo hope I don't get any new neighbors across from me anytime soon. I've been busted twice so far when taking Libby outside in my nightgown. Once by the school bus (bet those kids never wanted to learn THAT) and once by the newspaper delivery. I've started wearing shorts under my gown, at least. Sis2 was thisclose to Chipper Jones Saturday night. If you don't know who he is, first of all shame on you and secondly, he plays for the Atlanta Braves. (don't ask me what position...all I know is he fills out his uniform nicely and can slam in some big home runs.) He was recovering from an injury and part of his rehabilitation to get him ready to return to the field was to play for the Mississippi Braves, the minor league team owned by the same franchise as the Atlanta Braves. So Sis2 and her dh are big baseball fans a...

Also known as "The Weekend That Wouldn't End." I'm uncertain that I'm cut out for this full time parenting thing. I got soooooo stressed this weekend that I ended up going out to my folks' place just to get a break from Libby. I know. I'm such a bad mommy. *sigh* And Libby's just a puppy! Can you imagine how stressed I'd be if it were an actual CHILD? Protective services would be carting the poor thing away while I was being loaded into the back of a police car and carried off to where all bad mommies should go. *sigh* She's a real sweetheart, sure. When she isn't driving me nuts. I feel as though when I'm not chasing her down to take her outside, I'm telling her "No" and "stop that". I even got a newspaper after her last night. Something I swore to myself that I wouldn't do. I hate spanking puppies. Of course, I didn't spank her hard enough to hurt her but she didn't like it either way. Didn...

I sure could have used this a few months ago. Heck...a few WEEKS ago. Our God is an awesome God! :-) Not feeling Thankful? What a reminder! Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole that from her. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come for the holiday. Then Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. She has no idea what I'm feeling, thought Sandra with a shudder. Thanksgiving? Thankful for what? She wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he re...

Yeppers. My new baby now has a name. I decided Scamp (though it suits her personality) just wasn't good enough for the cutie pie. So she went from Livvy last night to Libby this morning. My mom got me settled on Libby. She misunderstood when I said Livvy and well, Libby is just as cute and spunky. I do, of course, have a character named Libby but I don't think I'll get confused. lol So Scamp is now Libby! :-) We had a much better night last night than the one before and a MUCH better morning this morning than yesterday morning. I think she and I are finally getting a handle on this whole "doin' your business outside" thing. And she's gotten to that clingy cuddly stage where she has to be RIGHT WITH ME every second. We snuggled on the couch most of last night and several times this morning in between me trying to get ready for work. But I tell you what...this full time parenting thing? Exhausting. And that's just a puppy. I can't imagine how exhaust...

I realized after I posted yesterday that the answer to my question is... Not really. The real deal is that I'm just prone to panic. LMBO I got to thinking, as I do sometimes, and I realized that every big change in my life has been met with a healthy dose of panic on my part. The first week of college I was determined that I was going to drop out because I just wasn't cut out for it. When my sister got married last year I was desolate at the thought that I'd never see her again. We eHarlequin changed their format last year I was certain I'd never adjust. But all of those things worked out wonderfully. No, I didn't persue broadcasting after college and that may have been a bit of laziness or fear on my part but I think, too, that I was meant to come to the job I'm at now. I've always felt that way. And yeah, I don't get to see my sister as much as I used to and our relationship is altered but we're still sisters, still close enough that I know I can c...

That's what I've been asking myself for a long time and it sort of, um, escalated this morning. Guess I have to explain why, now, huh? Well, I wasn't going to say anything until I decided what I wanted to do because, well, I guess I just didn't want ya'll know what a dope I really am. But, I figure, ya'll already know what a dope I am, right? So there isn't any danger in telling ya'll. You see, it's like this. I got a puppy. *sigh* Yes. Flogging may commence. She's totally adorable, though, and had I never "met" her I would never have even thought to bring her home with me. Well, the thought crossed my mind but I quickly dismissed it. You all know my reasonings on the puppy/dog issue so I won't bore you with the details again. But I did meet her and I did fall in love with her. Which wasn't a big deal until yesterday. What was yesterday? Well, the day I got asked if I wanted her, of course. Guess I should start at the beginning....

I must be hideous. No? Well, tell that to the baby who cried each time I looked at her/spoke to her/was in her general vicinity. *sigh* I swear, I always knew I wasn't much of a kid person but I've never had one to just hate me on sight. So depressing. lol But yeah, I went to Bama this weekend to visit with Sis1 and Emmy. Sis1 had volunteered to babysit a friend's one-year-old and 5/6-year-old. The older kid was fine with me. He'd been around me before. The baby though? Not so much. She would just look at me with this terrified look on her face like I was a big bad monster and then cry her eyes out. I swear, all I did was smile at her and tell her how pretty she was...Maybe she could tell I was lying. Cuz, yeah. Not all children are beautiful and well, she leaned a little toward the not-so-much side. I know. That's a terrible thing to say. I'm a terrible person. *shrugs* hehehe Anyway, after that debacle (or during that debacle...I got on the computer to a...

Had a seriously disturbing dream last nigh. Seriously. Disturbing. I dreamed I was watching the old TV show Growing Pains and there was this scene with Kirk Cameron and his wife. (can't remember her name. ) Anyhow, I have no idea what was being said what the scene was even about. I think I musta had the volume on mute. But...When Kirk kisses his wife goodbye and turns to leave...His pants are falling down a bit and you could see his buttcrack! :-O Don't ask me why I dreamed that. I haven't the foggiest idea. I certainly have no desire to see Kirk Cameron's buttcrack nor do I watch Growing Pains any longer. Have to admit, though. I did wake up laughing. :-D Guess it was my subconcious trying to cheer me up. hehehehe

I don't know what it is about delapitated structures that appeal to me. Perhaps it's their artistic appeal. Whatever the reason, I love photographs of barns, old houses, etc. So I decided to take one. :-) This is a barn or shed located near my parents' home. The house it sits next to is in much better shape. I'm guessing this barn/shed is likely about as old as the house is and the house was built sometime in the early part of the last century. No, I didn't snap a shot of the house because, well, the architecture of the house doesn't appeal to me. :-P No real story to attach to this picture. I just like it. *g*

I know, I know, I normally do this on Mondays but I was too excited for Donna yesterday so here it is. A play by play (snore) of the weekend. ;-) These Friday night phone calls are getting to be a bit like Friday night dinners at the Gilmore house…tedious and pain in the butt. lol Seriously, I think all the people in my life have decided that since hey, Jana’s a loser at home every Friday night we’ll just call her then. Never mind that Jana might like her Friday nights in peace. *rolls eyes* No, I don’t actually mind it all that much since really the only two people who call me then are my best friend and my oldest sister. The best friend called to remind me of her misery. lol Her MIL is coming to visit them for a month. I wished her well and promised to either visit her in prison or come to her funeral…whichever action was required. hehehe I’m not entirely certain why Sis1 called other than to make sure I was still breathing. My mom had told her about the wicked night I had with my ol...