There is a reason...
...I don't talk about my weight loss/dietary and activity goals with some people. You lucky ducks and sometimes Sis2 are it, as far as my blabbing about that goes. The reason?
Mama has said several times lately (about her co-workers, not me), "I'm so sick of hearing about everyone's diet." You see, everyone in her office is on some sort of diet. Three are doing Weight Watchers, one is doing a fad diet I can't recall, and the other is just always on some diet or another. So me? I just don't talk about it. If I eat an extra cookie (or a Coke and a Mr. Goodbar like yesterday *facepalm*) I just pull up my (thankfully) baggy britches and get on with it. Maybe confess it here on my blog where anyone who doesn't want to know about it doesn't have to read it. As far as Mama knows I'm just being me. I've mentioned that I'm walking with DVD's and I figure she can guess why but I just don't talk about it.
For one, I don't want to be accountable to her because she's already so much a huge part of every part of my life. And I don't need any reasons to resent her. And the whole weight thing? Highly flammable in any parental relationship.
Daddy thinks there's something wrong with me when I don't take more than one cookie or whatever he's offering but I try not to make a big deal out of it. I don't ever say, "I'm on a diet." Mostly because I'm not on a diet. I'm just learning and trying to maintain better habits. But he doesn't need me to tell him that because I don't want to be accountable to him, either. So much of my early food issues came directly from him. Instead, I just say, "I'm just not all that hungry" or some version of that.
The only reason I talk about any aspect of my goals with Sis2 is because she's trying to change her food attitudes and pants size, too. I talk to her about what I'm doing as a way to encourage her and maybe even educate her, too. She, being a SAHM without Internet access, doesn't have the same tools available to her to learn about proper nutrition and exercise that I have. So if she brings up the topic, I'll tell her what's working/not working for me. And maybe for Mother's Day I'll give her a walking DVD because she's always talking about how she needs some way to work out other than chasing two toddlers.
I know that I am extremely and undeservedly blessed that ya'll are so supportive in listening to me prattle on about walking this, Brussel's sprouts that and whatever else. It helps, of course, that if ya'll DO roll your eyes at me, I can't see it and ya'll never let me know. You just can't ever know how amazing it is to know that I have this one safe place with truly good friends to come to and talk about whatever (hermity social awkwardness for 100, Alex) and face no visible/audible judgement. That is such a rare and precious gift.
That said, if I ever get to be TOO MUCH with this topic about my goals/weight/whatever, I hope ya'll will stick around because SOMEDAY (please God!) I won't need to think about it All. The time. Someday walking 2-4 miles a day and skipping Coke and lattes will be second nature. (Again, Please God?)
I hope I never get to the point that I lament every tasty high caloric food event to the point of self-flagellation because I think that kind of thing gives food far too much power over a person. The main thing in this journey to self-improvement is to find balance. To drink a Coke and give it the power to make you feel bad about yourself is the entirely wrong direction. And that's the direction Mama's coworkers have ventured off into. Countless health and nutrition experts have said that it is better to drink the Coke/eat the candy bar when the urge arises than to deny yourself and then binge on them later. Obviously, a Coke/candy bar every day is a bad idea but telling yourself you'll NEVER have another Coke/candy bar? That's just dumb. Because you know you will. Mostly because you said you wouldn't.
Anyway, yeah. I don't want to ever beat myself up over eating something I enjoyed. When I can say no and resist temptation, rejoice! I am strong! When I can't say no and give in to temptation, enjoy the cookie and celebrate that it's the first cookie you've had in a week!
Weight loss/activity goals aside, I don't talk about my other goals with anyone else either. I learned a LONG time ago to keep my family out of my financial life because that's an even bigger window for judgement than what I'm eating. I actually hide some purchases from my parents to avoid lectures. And I don't talk about it with my sisters because Sis1 isn't hurting for money (though she swears she is) and Sis2 is truly struggling financially. Thankfully I'm in that sweet spot of having just enough and I don't really want to flaunt that to Sis2 or open myself up to scrutinization from my parents or Sis1. A person's finances are (funnily) even more personal than their weight.
I have tried a couple times in the past to give advice on budgeting and stuff to my parents and sisters (when they asked!) but it all fell on deaf ears. Not that I'm an expert but I'm making it month to month and so far haven't bounced a check.
As for my spiritual goals, well, I don't talk about them much with my family either mostly out of shame. Shame because the things on my goals list are things they've all been doing for YEARS. In many ways I'm still so spiritually retarded (and I'm not using that word disrespectfully, I promise) even though I've been a born again Christian since I was eleven. And that shames me. I've always taken my relationship with Christ way too much for granted. Just "Hey, I'm saved so I don't have to worry about it." But I do worry about it because I've been so remiss in seeking His word--seeking Him. There's more to being a Christian than just saying you're saved. And yeah, it's good that I've tried to live a Christ like life all these years but I feel like such a hypocrite because all those years I was holier-than-thouing on some of my friends (in high school) I was being a completely lazy Christian. Not studying my Bible. Not praying faithfully. Not excited about attending church every time the door is open. And maybe by NOT talking about it with my family, I'm still being hypocritical. I don't know. All I know is, this re-dedication to my faith is a very personal thing that I'd rather not have my family judging me for.
So AGAIN...THANK YOU ALL for being such faithful, amazing and encouraging friends to listen to me drone on and on about things that may get tiresome after a while. You all ROCK. And I mean that from the heart of my bottom. ;-)
Mama has said several times lately (about her co-workers, not me), "I'm so sick of hearing about everyone's diet." You see, everyone in her office is on some sort of diet. Three are doing Weight Watchers, one is doing a fad diet I can't recall, and the other is just always on some diet or another. So me? I just don't talk about it. If I eat an extra cookie (or a Coke and a Mr. Goodbar like yesterday *facepalm*) I just pull up my (thankfully) baggy britches and get on with it. Maybe confess it here on my blog where anyone who doesn't want to know about it doesn't have to read it. As far as Mama knows I'm just being me. I've mentioned that I'm walking with DVD's and I figure she can guess why but I just don't talk about it.
For one, I don't want to be accountable to her because she's already so much a huge part of every part of my life. And I don't need any reasons to resent her. And the whole weight thing? Highly flammable in any parental relationship.
Daddy thinks there's something wrong with me when I don't take more than one cookie or whatever he's offering but I try not to make a big deal out of it. I don't ever say, "I'm on a diet." Mostly because I'm not on a diet. I'm just learning and trying to maintain better habits. But he doesn't need me to tell him that because I don't want to be accountable to him, either. So much of my early food issues came directly from him. Instead, I just say, "I'm just not all that hungry" or some version of that.
The only reason I talk about any aspect of my goals with Sis2 is because she's trying to change her food attitudes and pants size, too. I talk to her about what I'm doing as a way to encourage her and maybe even educate her, too. She, being a SAHM without Internet access, doesn't have the same tools available to her to learn about proper nutrition and exercise that I have. So if she brings up the topic, I'll tell her what's working/not working for me. And maybe for Mother's Day I'll give her a walking DVD because she's always talking about how she needs some way to work out other than chasing two toddlers.
I know that I am extremely and undeservedly blessed that ya'll are so supportive in listening to me prattle on about walking this, Brussel's sprouts that and whatever else. It helps, of course, that if ya'll DO roll your eyes at me, I can't see it and ya'll never let me know. You just can't ever know how amazing it is to know that I have this one safe place with truly good friends to come to and talk about whatever (hermity social awkwardness for 100, Alex) and face no visible/audible judgement. That is such a rare and precious gift.
That said, if I ever get to be TOO MUCH with this topic about my goals/weight/whatever, I hope ya'll will stick around because SOMEDAY (please God!) I won't need to think about it All. The time. Someday walking 2-4 miles a day and skipping Coke and lattes will be second nature. (Again, Please God?)
I hope I never get to the point that I lament every tasty high caloric food event to the point of self-flagellation because I think that kind of thing gives food far too much power over a person. The main thing in this journey to self-improvement is to find balance. To drink a Coke and give it the power to make you feel bad about yourself is the entirely wrong direction. And that's the direction Mama's coworkers have ventured off into. Countless health and nutrition experts have said that it is better to drink the Coke/eat the candy bar when the urge arises than to deny yourself and then binge on them later. Obviously, a Coke/candy bar every day is a bad idea but telling yourself you'll NEVER have another Coke/candy bar? That's just dumb. Because you know you will. Mostly because you said you wouldn't.
Anyway, yeah. I don't want to ever beat myself up over eating something I enjoyed. When I can say no and resist temptation, rejoice! I am strong! When I can't say no and give in to temptation, enjoy the cookie and celebrate that it's the first cookie you've had in a week!
Weight loss/activity goals aside, I don't talk about my other goals with anyone else either. I learned a LONG time ago to keep my family out of my financial life because that's an even bigger window for judgement than what I'm eating. I actually hide some purchases from my parents to avoid lectures. And I don't talk about it with my sisters because Sis1 isn't hurting for money (though she swears she is) and Sis2 is truly struggling financially. Thankfully I'm in that sweet spot of having just enough and I don't really want to flaunt that to Sis2 or open myself up to scrutinization from my parents or Sis1. A person's finances are (funnily) even more personal than their weight.
I have tried a couple times in the past to give advice on budgeting and stuff to my parents and sisters (when they asked!) but it all fell on deaf ears. Not that I'm an expert but I'm making it month to month and so far haven't bounced a check.
As for my spiritual goals, well, I don't talk about them much with my family either mostly out of shame. Shame because the things on my goals list are things they've all been doing for YEARS. In many ways I'm still so spiritually retarded (and I'm not using that word disrespectfully, I promise) even though I've been a born again Christian since I was eleven. And that shames me. I've always taken my relationship with Christ way too much for granted. Just "Hey, I'm saved so I don't have to worry about it." But I do worry about it because I've been so remiss in seeking His word--seeking Him. There's more to being a Christian than just saying you're saved. And yeah, it's good that I've tried to live a Christ like life all these years but I feel like such a hypocrite because all those years I was holier-than-thouing on some of my friends (in high school) I was being a completely lazy Christian. Not studying my Bible. Not praying faithfully. Not excited about attending church every time the door is open. And maybe by NOT talking about it with my family, I'm still being hypocritical. I don't know. All I know is, this re-dedication to my faith is a very personal thing that I'd rather not have my family judging me for.
So AGAIN...THANK YOU ALL for being such faithful, amazing and encouraging friends to listen to me drone on and on about things that may get tiresome after a while. You all ROCK. And I mean that from the heart of my bottom. ;-)
Comments
Seriously, though, it seems to me that you're on the right trzck and I don't blame you for keeping your family out of it. I think you're doing wonderfully well.
Seriously, I'm sorry your mother is so critical and judgmental. One would think, given your father's health issues especially, that she would be all for living a healthier lifestyle. Try not to let her get to you, or bring you down.
Like Aunt B, I think you have made great strides and will continue to do well in your quest for living a better and healthier life.
BTW--took advantage of the 77-degree day (in March!) for a long 4-5 mile walk when I got home. Man, do I feel tired, lol!
Heather~Way to go on your 4-5 mile walk. Maybe one day I'll catch up to you. Hopefully that means your knee is being kinder to you??
As for Mama, she is all for a healthier lifestyle. Just a little bit too critical for me to deal with.
And I totally agree about the never totally deny yourself. It's so much easier to put off the cookie today when you know you're going out to see on Friday or whatever. You're doing a great job and we're proud of you!
I did another 3.5 miles tonight--and happened upon one of the neighborhood turkies strutting along ahead of me. They're so funny when they start running, you can't help but laugh.
BTW, today's temp? 81. In March. In Wisconsin. Crazy! We seem to have skipped spring and gone right to summer.
It was 80-something here yesterday, too. My a/c actually kicked on at home and I have it set at 75. I have a feeling the summer is going to be MISERABLE. Blech.