A few years ago my mom moved to Arlington MA; a couple miles away from her sister Diana in Cambridge. Over that time, she has settled in and made a home for herself, including all kinds of work in the community, of which I am proud and happy.   It also means that we make a point of stopping in whenever we’re in the area. Granted, as any traveling caravan of a family can attest, “stopping in” is a bit of a euphemism for “adding another couple hours to a trip, then ransacking a host’s home, leaving abruptly and exhausting the host”. All in good faith in the meaning of a family visit.

When we stopped in for a Christmas visit, she was fortunately ready for it (it also helps she’s got a great playground a short walk away), made a great visit of it, enjoyed it and asked for more. Cookies, playground, presents, a view of the lake.

When you’re an adult, your relationship with your mother changes. She’s always your mother, with all the good and bad of that, and you’ll always be a kid at some level, with all the good and bad of that, but there is far more to it when you’re an adult. When you have children of your own, you try your best to understand your parents’ perspective on your past in hopes it will unlock answers to how to raise your own children.

I suspect we all do this with our parents as we grow older; try to understand what they were/are/will be thinking.

The impenetrable game of what would I have done then, and what will I do now, and what will I do in 25 years?

I know I do it; over and over. I am sure my kids will do the same in years to come, as will theirs and theirs. But I am sure I can’t really know, just as I think I might be able to look into their thoughts and understand their decisions back then and now, but I can’t; not really. I’ll still try.

Maybe that’s why it’s important to stop in when you can.

There is something special and important about a Christmas visit. Over and over again, we learn all kinds of things from those we love.

The J-Ms wishes for the world, 2011:

• peace everywhere (Owen)
• shelter for everyone (Kyle)
• happy for people (Meera)
• JOY for all (H & B)

It is 10:30 p.m. on December 25, 2011, and I can officially say: we had our best Christmas ever! (I know, I say that every year, but really, this one was it.) We hope your holiday season has been as good as ours. And we are sincerely wishing for peace, shelter, happy, joy for all! As always, thank you for reading!

The J-M 12 Days of Christmas!

…my true loves gave to me…

Christmas Eve!

Generations of tradition; life-times of tradition; traditions being taught; traditions being learned; traditions passed down, tweaked, changed, and followed. This is, for us, the most tradition-filled day of our year.

The centerpiece of our day: a campfire in MorMor and MorFar’s back yard. Roasted hot dogs and an “outdoor refrigerator”; friends and neighbors stopping by; glogg and s’mores; playing in the woods and field~~

The Christmas Eve finery~~

The centerpiece of the Swedish Christmas Cultural Tradition: The Swedish Smorgasbord~~

The centerpiece of the Lutheran Christmas Religious Tradition: Christmas Eve Church Service~~

The centerpiece of the late night: into pjs, notes and cookies for Santa, and MorFar’s reading of The Night Before Christmas~~

“‘Happy Christmas to all! And to all a good-night!'”

…my true loves gave to me…

A jam-packed day-before-Christmas-Eve-Day day!

A day of extreme fun, with family.

First tubing…

…then off to the Mountain Coaster!

…a late lunch at Flatbread (we crave this pizza all year long!)

…then… The Polar Express!!!

“Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.” ~The Conductor, from The Polar Express

…my true loves gave to me…

Cousins Time!!!

A long Christmas trip in New Hampshire means plenty of time with Cousin Sadie! The bambinos love their cousin, and their cousin loves the bambinos. They are non-stop fun together. This morning Braydon and I took these four cousins to swim at The Mill at Purity Spring (just down the road from MorMor and MorFar’s house). Much swimming and splashing were enjoyed by all. This afternoon (while Meera napped), the three eldest cousins had a long hike with MorMor and MorFar. Peppered in amongst their very active activities these kids also manage to create all sorts of artistic masterpieces (ranging from letters to Santa to full-scale dramatic productions of “Shows!” complete with singing and dancing and charging-for-admission), cause quite a ruckus, laugh up a storm, and have a generally-very-good-time. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without Sadie.

…my true loves gave to me…

Skiing at Bretton Woods!

This was our 2nd Annual Day at Bretton Woods. This day was much anticipated by K & O, who had been waiting for it for exactly one whole year. We were very worried when the weather report was for rain, but, given the level of excitement, we could not — under any circumstances — forgo this day trip. So, we left Meera at home with MorMor and MorFar and the Original Four J-Ms hit the slopes at our favorite mountain. We had some snow flurries early in the day, but then it did indeed rain for most of the afternoon (imagine! skiing in the rain!!!). Despite that, for the 2nd year in a row, it was an AWESOME day and there was not one complaint from any of the four of us.

Highlights from this year’s Day at Bretton Woods:

• This year Owen mastered the art of The Parallel Turn. This, to me, is just amazing given that: a) he is only seven years old, and b) he only skis two or three days a year. Early in the morning Braydon gave him some pointers on parallel turns, and he proceeded to focus intensely on his technique for most of the rest of the day. Carefully, rhythmically, winding his way down the mountain in a perfect zig-zag pattern, Owen is a joy to watch on skis!
• This year Kyle mastered the art of Bombing Down The Mountain So Fast That His Parents Could Barely Keep Up With Him. Seriously, we had to work extremely hard (and our sore bodies are the proof of it) just to try to keep up with this kid. He is fearless, a speed demon, and is ridiculously dare-devilish, constantly on the prowl for a ski jump to hurl him into the air. Bombing down the hill at mock speed, but in utter control of himself, Kyle is a joy to watch on skis!
• We had lunch at the restaurant at the top of the mountain again this year (K & O love that we “ride the chairlift to the restaurant!”), and the boys got to order Coca Cola — a very rare and savored treat!
• Keeping with the tradition we began last year (because K & O insisted), we met up with MorMor and MorFar and Meera at Red Parka Pub for dinner at the end of the day. My parents’ god-daughter, Betsey, joined us too.
• This was our second year at Bretton Woods, but our fifth year skiing with K & O, and each year it just gets more and more fun.

…my true loves gave to me…

Meera’s First Day Skiing!!!

My mother. She makes our Christmases happen. She makes everything happen. She’s the quintessential Family Matriarch (in the best possible way). And today she taught Meera to ski. She taught Kyle and Owen to ski too (the winter they were three). And she taught me to ski too (the winter I was three). She is AMAZING. Today was incredible– watching my mom with my daughter, on the slopes, both of them with huge smiles plastered on their faces, skiing together. My mom cheering on Braydon as he gently pushed his baby girl forward on the snow. Kyle and Owen, bursting with pride at their sister’s first day on skiis. My dad, watching on in amazement at my 60-something mother, as she did what she does best: be amazing. All of us, having an absolute blast together. Three generations skiing together. One of our most favorite annual Christmas traditions. Words can’t do it justice, so I’ll post pictures instead.

…my true loves gave to me…

Fun at MorMor and MorFar’s House!

My father. Anyone who knows him knows how adored, revered, and held-up-high this man is. As the result of a stellar career (that is still going at full tilt), a lifetime of community service (his resume of commitment to social, political, and environmental causes boggles the mind), and mentoring to the masses (and I do mean masses), my father is beloved by many. Despite the sheer numbers, I’ve known my whole life that nobody could compete with my own level of love for my dad. And for most of my life I’ve thought that no one could ever be-love my father more than me, but then I became a mom, and my kids have proven me wrong. They are gaga for MorFar; just smitten with him; and I have to admit that their adoration for him is fully on par with their mother’s. I observe them from a distance, interacting with their MorFar, and the look that I see in their eyes is a familiar one. I know it well, and I know what I see: three kids who absolutely adore my dad. And so they savor their time with him, eagerly attempt to emulate him, and seek his attention in a way that you’d have to see to believe. And he returns the love with a graciousness that is truly inspiring to see. He is free-flowing with his time and talents, his jokes and laughter, his patience, and his seemingly boundless energy. He is the one who gets down on the floor and plays dolls with Meera; talks baseball for hours with Kyle and Owen; plays dog-catcher when they all become barking puppies; and jumps on his tractor first thing in the morning to drive them around the field at full speed. The spirit of Christmas is perfectly embedded in moments like these.

…my true loves gave to me…

The Bambinos Ready for Our Magic of Christmas Day

This was the Portland Symphony Orchestra’s 32nd year of their Magic of Christmas concert. My parents bought tickets for our family the very first year. We’ve gone every single year since (with only one exception; we skipped it a couple decades ago on the year they were renovating the concert hall). I’ve been going since I was Kyle and Owen’s current age. They’ve gone every year of their lives except for their first Christmas (only because they were still in Haiti). Meera has gone since she was born. Braydon has gone since he met me. The Magic of Christmas kicks off the whole chain of events which is The Johnson Christmas Festivities. As is tradition, we met for lunch at Gilbert’s before the concert. MorMor, MorFar, Auntie Stina, Sadie, Uncle Mark, Alice, and us five J-Ms launched our Christmas together over seafood chowder on the Portland waterfront. Then it was onward to this year’s Magic of Christmas concert, which was the best yet. The day ended with the final leg of the pilgrimage — the drive to MorMor and MorFar’s house — then the grand arrival to their cozy Christmas house that literally looks like a film set for a Christmas-movie-in-the-making. There is magic in our Christmas. We are so lucky.

…my true loves gave to me…

The Christmas Road-trip!

After weeks of planning, prepping, on-line shopping, and To-Do-list-checking; days of anxious anticipation building and mounting; several very late nights of making, wrapping, organizing, preparing, and packing; and a big push in the final 48 hours pre-departure; this morning, bright and early, we HIT THE ROAD right on schedule! With three beaming bambinos in the backseat we embarked on our J-M Family Christmas Extravaganza! Plowing forward through the string of states of our northernly migration (oh, they know the order so well: “Pennsylvania! New Jersey! New York! Connecticut! Massachusetts! New Hampshire!”… we cheer like crazy at each highway-side sign marking our entrance into a more northward state!… and finally… Maine!). Driving along our three eat special snacks and watch DVDs while we two up front talk non-stop about life’s ups and downs, this year’s Christmas, and the ritualistic nature of it all.

All day long it is, “Merry Christmas!”, “Merry Christmas!”, “Merry Christmas!” back and forth amongst us five. And it is very clear: Christmas, for us, is not just a day, it is a whole experience.

We check into the hotel in Portland, swim in the pool, then order room service and a movie. Once they are tucked in I can’t help but marvel at our threesome, and wonder what they’ll remember of their childhood Christmases. So much work to make this magic happen. But so worth it when it all unfolds with humungous smiles on their faces and stars in their eyes.

…my true loves gave to me…

Meera’s Daycare Christmas Show!

…my true loves gave to me…

Dear Santa Letters 2011!

“Dear Santa, I have been good. Can you please give me a basketball pinball game. I hope you have a good time eating cookies! I will give you a present!!!! Love Kyle”

“Dear Santa, I have been really good this year. Can you give me a baseball pinball game please? Can I look through your glasses please? Is that how you see everyone? Enjoy your cookies! I hope you come to our house first. Me and Kyle will give you a present! Love Owen. You rock Santa”

…my true loves gave to me…

Nothing like curling up with a good book: I buy a new Christmas book each year, and this year’s is a real winner!  We highly recommend Christmas Soup, by Alice Faye Duncan and Phyllis Dooley, illustrated by Jan Spivey Gilchrist (published by Zonderkids 2005).

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And on that note– here’s a link to an oldie-but-goodie-post-from-the-past: “White Christmases for Black Boys”

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And speaking of that– you’ve got to check out this article, by Lori Tharps, from today’s Philadelphia Inquirer (in which us J-Ms are mentioned!): “A Bit of Home for the Holidays: Blending Adopted Child’s Cultural Heritage into Family Traditions”

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Merry merry merry!