secretly a sapient lilac bush

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Posted on Monday, 18 November 2013

This Is Autism

Autism is looking at the world sideways

Autism is seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling, everything’s more, everything’s sharp, and sometimes that’s too much but sometimes it’s just exactly enough (and anyway it’s the only thing I’ve ever known)

Autism is joy in patterns, is catching every little lilt and touch and turn of the words (and overanalyzing them), and then having the sounds bounce around my head until they fall out my mouth and into the world again

Autism is foot-tapping, joy-spinning, screeching for the sheer ecstasy of the vibrations and the noise and the control and having this

and yes

Autism is too-much-too-much-too-MUCH, is pain and losing my words and crying and biting and screaming because I can’t express myself any other way

but that’s not because of me

that’s because when things are too much they get too much and people sometimes don’t understand that at all

but if you just listened, you’d see that autism

is joy

and laughter

and colors, patterns, beauty

(it’s the world, just sideways)

and even sideways the world is the same, all its beauty and its pain

and if you listened, if you thought hard and gave me options and let me be me and help me be me (autistic me, because i’m me, i’m what i’ve got, there’s nothing else here)

you’ll see

that autism, like the world, can’t and shouldn’t be erased just because there’s pain

because there’s happiness too, so much happiness

and the most happiness in being accepted as being

so how about

you let

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