Breaking out, try again.....

dream big. a painting from last year....

BE prepared for a large dose of brain vomit here.....and proceed with caution....

As you may or may not have noticed, I've been scarce around these parts lately. I'd apologize but I have no intention of misleading you by posting crap in an effort to get you to visit just because I blog everyday.

I've been hunkering down and doing a lot of thinking....The world at large has me contemplating so much lately. The devastation that has happened and will continue to happen in Japan, the ongoing clusterf*ck in the Middle East and northern Africa. My basic need to worry about the world's problems and how I can better serve the world.

So I've had a hard time verbalizing what is going on with me and how I feel about it. I feel like a tool posting new things about my shop (not that there have been many) when people have had their entire lives and families ripped away in one foul swoop of mother nature's awesome power. Hey! Tens of thousands just died and there's an impending worldwide nuclear disaster! wanna see what's new in my Etsy shop???

Anyway, I digress....I hope in a good way. I've taken the several weeks off to contemplate all that is my business....whatever that is, because I'm not sure I actually know. I get glimpses sometimes about what it is, or what it could be, and what I do or do not like about all of those things.

I dislike production. and I don't want to feel like a bead making machine. Because that isn't enjoyable. Etsy, as of late, has really started to disenchant me. I love Etsy, from way back in 2005 when I first listed a few paintings and low and behold, after 3 months, I actually sold one. However, to become a successful shop and seller, there is a rote that I have become very uncomfortable with in order to keep selling. I love my customers. Please don't misunderstand me. But the constant production, the constant marketing involved with listing, social networking, blogging. It is exhausting and I know many of you can relate. If I am making handmade things, and the efforts exhaust me to the point where my joy is negating the actual pleasure of making them, what makes me different than any garbage you can buy at a big box store that comes from exhausted workers in third world countries who work ungodly schedules to provide basic sustenance to their families? Because in essence, that is what I'm doing. I'm constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul and deciding if we'll have a decent dinner.

In this vein, I constantly question capitalism and if it's really the answer. I research blogs, I find successful artists who are making it. How have they become successful? Have they enjoyed a lucrative licensing deal where there goods are then mass produced overseas? Many times this is the case.

This point hit home for me today. A few weeks ago, while visiting family, we were perusing gift shops. An artist I truly admire, who has a very successful licensing career, was prominently displayed in this gift shop. I had this moment, where I said to myself, HOW DO I GET TO THIS PLACE? Span forward, to today when I was at the Goodwill, and I saw one of said artist's mass produced items in the fray. Is that what I'm seeking? A piece of the pie? To be rich and find my stuff discarded at the Goodwill? After some reckless consumer has decided it's no longer their taste?

Not always, but a lot. And I'm not comfortable with that. I want to be at home, with my craft. I want to inspire others. I would like to write a book someday. But I want to be true and that is the reason for the break. I'm thinking about all this and where I fit in...to the grand scheme of things. of these things we call art. and how they are all just things. how they could all be wiped away in the blink of an eye and how they figure into this grand thing we call life.

If you read this far, thank you.

MONDAY MILITIA!! on Wednesday!

Ooooooh.... So I totally dropped the ball this week, eh?

I had a good reason, I promise...

I'm on a tight deadline for all my posts...I post as I'm able and I post for Monday Militia basically on Sunday night and I had some {good} interferences so that is why I'm late....


I was doing this....

This is my much loved nephew whom I love with my whole heart!
ummm, and we got to spend time at the beach!!!!





hey, if that's not a reason to interfere with Monday Militia, what is?

So, that's my kindness for this week...

So, if you didn't fulfill your mission this week, what did you do? Did you have smiles at the beach? Did you enjoy a story with a small person? Did you live a joyous moment abundently? and share your joy?

Do tell...

How are you enjoying joy and SPREADING it???

OR, perhaps you had the most CRAPTASTIC week ever...did you?

Did you want to wallow in your own crap and just die?

Well, STOP!

SMILE!

YOU!

YES!

YOU!

are not alone....

and tomorrow....

will.

be.

better.

or. not.

but perhaps the day after.

and.

we always have....

HOPE!

LOVE YOU ALL!

True-ing up.....

the photo where you go, "how the F$*@! did my ass get so big????


I wanted to share this story of mine because some of you may find it inspiring:

DISCLAIMER: This is a tale about being comfortable in one's own skin. Finding the weight that is comfortable to me. I have seen women of 280 lbs and 180 lbs. and less that I would be happy to live in their bodies because they were at the weight that exuded their own freedom and personal beauty. I'm working towards self love, self acceptance, and feeling beautiful in my own skin.

And so my tale for today:

So amongst my other New Year's goals and ambitions (I prefer not to call them resolutions but goals) it was a resolve to eat healthier, eat less meat, and lose weight. I'm excited to report now that I've lost over 12 lbs!!! On a goal to lose 35...but being realistic, I'll be happy with 25 continued on my current new path. And if I don't lose anymore weight eating my current plan, then I will be content to be eating well, healthfully, and happy!

I LOVE FOOD, and left unchecked, I will eat myself into oblivion. I am large by nature, all around. I am tall 5'11" so I can support some weight naturally. I also come from a long line of healthy stock and healthy eaters, so I have a large appetite....and I love food! ummmmm, did I say that already?

What I don't like is feeling uncomfortable in my skin and my clothes. At my largest, about 5 years ago, I weighed 193 lbs. I was an uncomfortable size 14. This is only about 15lbs over the normal scale for my BMI, I might add, but it was enough for me to change.

I was determined to not to have to go to the plus size store to shop and so I embarked on what I called, "the skinny girl's diet". I made it up really, coupled with what I already knew about healthy eating, which was tempering my caloric intake with lower carbs and moderating my portions, which is my BIG ADVERSARY. I can eat ANYONE under the table. ANYONE....(not something to be proud of, I might add)

The skinny girl diet mantra, in my head, was "would a skinny girl eat this????" would a skinny girl eat the supersize fry?"

I got down, over the course of 2 years to 135 (also insert stressful job and waning marriage to the mix) which as anyone who has gone through those things will attest, is the best diet ever (albeit, not the healthiest).

Cut to 3+ years passed the 135 mark, I was back to 170+, had no jeans that I wanted to wear, without the dreaded muffin top. All of my cute size M shirts had been replaced with XLs and again, I felt like a giant blob. I had gone back to my old habits of eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

And this time...
I feel like I have made a huge positive change.

I am eating way less meat.
I am eating way more veggies.
My cabinets and fridge are full of healthy stuff.

And I've replaced my junk food habits with healthy veggies, fruits, and juicing. (still crave french fries, just sayin')

And I'm losing weight. Eating the stuff I want. Still tempering my carbs (I LOVE BREAD & STARCHY STUFF) I'm still hungry sometimes. I am used to eating ALOT. But I'm using a cool iphone app that lets me track my food and progress so it is all good!

So, losing weight is always a struggle.
There is no magic pill.
It takes effort.

But it takes the realization, that you want to be something else. That with growth comes obstacles and moving outside your comfy bud.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

New Beginnings....

Herroooo 2011, when did you sneak up on us?

Did you all have an amazing holiday season?

I hope so!

I did.


and now for 2011....

2010 was a good year for me. Nothing huge and earth shattering happened but it was all the little things adding up to make the year feel full, accomplished, fun, and amazing. As I reflect about 2010 and I look forward to 2011. I wanted to THANK ALL OF YOU for your support. For coming here to read my little thoughts and ramblings, for taking the time to comment, for patronizing my shop and for following me along in my journey. It really means so very much to me. It makes my heart feel so full of joy that times I don't know what to say except,

THANK YOU.

Looking forward to the coming year, I hope to continue on my current path, plodding along, however clumsily. I've redesigned the blog a bit, and I hope to post even more. You can expect to see:

*more tutorials.

*more bits from my life.



*more about my creative process.




*more of all my work, not just beads and jewelry but my sketchbooks, painting, cool finds as a lover of all things old and rusty.

Do you see a thread here? My word for 2011 is more.



more doing.

more sharing.

What are your plans for 2011??

Measuring...

a little craftiness that Santa's elves are making


Hello Friends... I've been absent once again...but here I am!


Thinking about gifting and giving and receiving at this Christmas time (or your own holiday)....


This year, I am crafting all of my gifts. Which isn't any different from the last 5 years but there were times in the past, several years, when many of the gifts given and received have been handmade. But this year, probably not. My family has been busy in their own right; new babe, new jobs, new moves and different lives so I think I will be the only one Crafting Christmas this year. and that's okay, because I understand the BUSY.

But I start to fret in the realm of my craftiness,

will my gifts be well received?

Should I just pony up and buy a gift card?

Aaaacccck! It sucks....

I don't want to be the CRAZY AUNT BETHANY who brings jello with cat food and boxes up her cat in pretty ribbons....

Do you question your own craft?

Do you undermine your own creativity to a $50 Macy's gift card???

Facebook....

Are y'all on Facebook?

Then I am inviting you to like secondsurf.com down there on my sidebar. And if we're reasonably friendly, then ask to be my personal friend....here. Don't worry if you don't actually know me...just let me know how you know me in that whole add a personal message thing. like from my blog or Etsy or whatever. I do keep it sort of private though, so don't be offended if I reject you and I don't know who the heck you are. I'd love to get to know each other over the whole FB phenom....This whole existence of ours is about learning about each other, eh?

A Handmade Manifesto vol. 2

The old school groundhog kiln used to fire famous NC pottery
the broom maker, who explain the difference between corn brooms, and using different kinds of corn and sorghum to make brooms.
the cotton baler.


As most of you realize, my birthday was this past weekend. It worked out that friends gave us tickets to this sort of exclusive primitive village event that just happened to be on my birthday.

The primitive village is the brainchild of a doctor in NC. Over time and happenstance, he has acquired all of these primitive homes on his property and now he has a festival each year celebrating the skills and home crafts of early settlers in NC.

There are old homesteads all over the country side in Western NC. Whenever this doctor heard of a building that owners no longer wanted, he volunteered to come in, take it down, and move it for them. As word spread, these structures were donated to the doctor and now more than 90 buildings have been moved and restored on his property.

You can find all kinds of awesome stuff going on at this one day event. Peanuts boiling in a kettle. Soapmaking. Fire building. Cotton ginning and baling. Lacemaking, Wool carding and spinning, a primitive distillery, cane grinding for molasses and syrup. Chair caning. Shingle riving. And if I go on to think, I could probably name about 50 other skills or more that were taking place!!!

It was really an awesome, awe inspiring thing!

And it got me to thinking AGAIN about skills and about HANDMADE, and the nature of human existence and entrepreneurship and basic subsistence on skills and trades.

Have you seen Great Depression Cooking? It's a video series on YouTube and now she has a cookbook, dvd etc.

I really started thinking again about it yesterday when I was reading a blog post about said Great Depression Cooking videos, which has been in my YouTube favorites forever and in the comments, people were sort of negative!

....How unhealthy the recipes were and how they "couldn't eat that."

It really, really made me sad.

It seriously bummed me out about the state of ingenuity in our age and society. Here, this old woman, this relic and heirloom of an amazing and resourceful time in American history is sharing her wisdom and people were saying they couldn't eat it?

I'm aware they aren't the healthiest of recipes by today's standards but as opposed to starving or being hungry, I'm thinking they are pretty damn tasty....and she's in her 90's now so I'm thinking people might want to take a listen. To remember and be MINDFUL of, how to make something out of nothing.

All over the primitive village, there were samples of primitive cooking and eating. We drank sassafras tea, ate pumpkin soup and bread, boiled peanuts, and fresh apples. It was really nice to sample period foods and see how they were prepared, preserved and cooked. I think we would be wise to cling to the old ways a bit. I don't think that economic times are getting better and the more resourceful we are as a people, the better we will live, thrive, and enjoy our lives.

This is the 2nd part in a continuing series. to be con't....

Shop update.....

A more involved piece with a bird of my own and a charm I ordered from moreskyjewels
nuggets in earrings!
nuggets with lots of old keys I picked up while junking in PA when I was home last
stamped pieces in polymer and the bezel technique from Stephanie Lee's book


As you all can probably tell, my mojo has been a little absent lately, but it's back BABY. and I've updated the shop. I'm also thrilled to be making and patinating almost all of my own findings now. I'm still using up the remnants of my stash, but I'm planning to use and patinate all of my own findings now or buy only artisan types from some of the other great girls out there who have all those awesome patinas that I just don't want to invest in. It helps me feel more of a connection to everything I make.

I upgraded my torch from just a micro to a cheapy propane and eventually I want to get the mixed tank with a nice torch handle but for now it is just me and mr. cheapo propane and my now repurposed creme brullee torch, since I don't need to making or eating creme brullee and really, I never really made it that often anyhow.

I'll be back later on today to reveal the winners of my homely owls. :)

Breathing.....

Stopping now to realize the fact....

We all have feelings and conscience and obligations and so many other things but...

what....
do.
we.
do.
when we're overwhelmed?

There's people dying all over the world. Hunger, war, etc. but we're all human and we all have problems....


....just a thought.

Keep Breathing.
by Ingrid Michaelson.


The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

All that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

32 feet and rising

How high is the water mama? 32 feet and rising....



Okay, you're going to have to read on to the end, because I'm giving stuffs away so pay attention....


Today, I'm 32 years young. Whew. I'm in that really odd phase where I know I'm young but I'm totally starting to feel that whole departure from youth. Well, it's been happening gradually for the last 5 or so years but I don't get Justin Bieber, MTV, or an abundance of other things....I never thought I'd live to see styles that were in when I was a teenager come back into style. Being a hippy voluptuous gal, I was never so glad to see skinny jeans fade into past, only to reappear when I totally don't have the body to sport them, not that I've ever been graced with a waifish frame. I never thought I would hear Nirvana called classic or old school.

And I am totally aggravated when I see kids thinking they are all angst-filled and original, sporting neon chuck taylors with the tops folded down and I want to grab them by their spiky emo hair and yell at them:

DO YOU KNOW we had to paint ours our damn selves because they didn't make so many cool colors back then???? DO YOU?

BUT, I digress.....

Ahh, the fadings of youth....But it's all good, I don't mind. I like being an adult, actually.

Anyhow, for my 32nd I thought I would give you a mish-mash of 32 things that you may or may not know about me:

1} I have an impetuous tattoo on my lower right back. It is a celtic moon. My great-grandmother on my mother's side was Scottish, she is my namesake. It is in honor of her.

2} It the first and last tattoo I will ever get. It hurt like a b*tch. also see number 3....

3} There are few things that scare me. Chief among them are bees, needles*, and large gatherings of people I don't know. (please don't invite me to a party where I have never met anyone)

*fear of needles is why I will never get another tattoo. I didn't realize there was a needle involved until it actually started. I was in love with the idea, not the process.

4} I live for the beach and the water. Which explains my earth sign(s)....

5} I was born on October 23, which makes me a Libra/Scorpio cusp....an interesting combo. Google it if you're interested....and then don't tell me your opinion because I'm completely aware I'm complicated...mmmmkay?

6} I love bread. more than life. I know when they invent that all-bread diet, I will be the skinniest thing ever. wait. that won't work. ever. ugh.

7} I fantasize everyday about being a vegetarian. I really want to do it. But I really like meat. There is another whole blog thing here, but we'll just leave it here for now.

8} I LOVE FOOD.

9} which is why I will never be thin.

10} In my other life, or my next life, or my last life, I would've been a chef. I enjoy everything about cooking. I love recipes, food, good food, bad food, analyzing the difference, healthy food, healthy ingredients, learning about the whole process...love it.

11} I don't have a TV.

12} I don't have cable TV.

13} but I'm addicted to cooking shows and reality cooking shows, i.e. Top Chef, Hell's Kitchen....thanks to HULU.....

14} I've spent the better part of my working life in retail grocery management. I could write a memoir (and probably will) and I loved and hated every minute of it. It challenged me in ways I never thought possible. It brought me some of the most fun and most bleak times in my life. I miss it everyday.

15} I'm an aunt, for the first time in my life. It's a wonderful gift. My nephew is adopted and much anticipated and loved and cherished. I can't wait to see him every day. He is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

16} I love the sun. I don't believe it is bad. I try not to get sunburned, because too much of anything is bad. *another blog post here.

17} I went to school for painting. I still consider myself a painter.

18} I hate my feet.

my ugly bird feet.

19} I love my eyes. I got them from my mama. All three of my siblings have the most beautiful blue eyes. My mom always wanted a brown eyed baby like my dad....but she got three amazing children with the prettiest blue eyes....

the eyes I was blessed with....


20} My dad passed away when I was 16. from cancer. he was 52. I miss him everyday. I am a lot like him and not at all. In all the best and worst ways.

21} I wish I had a green thumb. It's in there somewhere. I'm still looking for it.

22} I am grateful for my siblings. I have the best older sister and brother I could ever ask for. They are the perfect match for me. They are both very different from me and yet we are all the same.

23} My mother is my hero. She is supportive and loving and everything every mom should be. I wish everyone had a mom like mine.

24} I hate my own artwork.

25} I am a complete perfectionist. to a fault. but my life is less-than-perfect and that's starting to be perfect the older I get....

26} I LOVE GRAVY. good GOD, I love it. Good Gravy, Especially. Bad Gravy, in a pinch. Sausage gravy, turkey gravy, fresh beef gravy....yep...I'm not ashamed. I LOVE GRAVY.

27} reiterating... my love of gravy and food is why I will never be less than a size 8....and the 8 is my total-starving-anorexic-non-gravy state....which, for the record, I'm nowhere near...although the pants are in my closet....

28} at one time, I was a size 4, but all I did was get divorced, drink diet mountain dew, work 70 hours/week, and probably smoke a lot of cigarettes and drink copious amounts of alcohol to consume my calories ....thus, I will never get back there...they call that "the divorce diet"....I've given all that up and gone back to gravy and bread....

29} I'm in love. and it is good. I love this man.

30} 32 is shaping up to be the best year ever.

31} I don't mind aging. at all.

32} I want to have beautiful gray hair as I age. I really thought by this time in my life, I would have more gray hair. It is a family trait. Both my mom and my sister have had tons of gray by the age I am now. And I favor their coloring as opposed to my dad, who had black hair. I haven't found any, except for a little stray hair here and there. I am also blessed with very thick hair. I would wish that, as I age, and if my hair decides to be gray, that I will have long beautiful gray hair. I wish above all things,

TO AGE WITH GRACE.



SO...you read all this 'cause you like me, right? But I have a gift, an imperfect gift. I have 2 sets of ugly imperfect owls to give away. They are cute, but not up to my usual snuff, since I was experimenting with fancy clay. But, if you would like a set of 2, I will be giving away 2 sets of 2 to the people who leave me the most intriguing comments. That's all I'm going to say. It's my birthday and I'm not doing any stupid random number generator.

ugly, imperfect owls.

PEOPLE.....

Freaking Inspire Me.....leave me an awesome comment that will make me want to give you owls....

So, I'll pick two people on the 27th from the folks who leave me rad comments. period.

Home-ly....

books always sustain me along my journey, here are a few favorites that I return to again and again....


I would like to thank all of you who left such encouraging and empathetic comments on my last post. They are so special to me and really went a long way....

So, I've been doing a little here and there type of stuff. Experimenting, making a few things for small orders, getting household stuff in order too. Had to take an impromptu trip to get a tag for a new-to-us car. Since we spend a lot of time around and about, hop on pop type short trips all over the place, I feel like I'm constantly packing, unpacking, cleaning, straightening, organizing. It is actually sort of soothing and methodical, in a way, and lends some grounding to this sort of helter skelter type existence.

I've still been experimenting with projects from Stephanie Lee's Semiprecious Salvage, along with a few other ideas using materials I have on hand like the bezel set marble pendant with the french text. I used to be fluent in French, now I just dabble with a lot of effort and a dictionary. This one reads, un autre or another.

However, it is difficult on my creative process. While I get lots of new ideas from coming and going, my process is usually long and difficult and to fit in these long creative jags amidst the constant flux of my life is even more difficult. It always has been. I don't really see it changing. I just always have to evaluate the process and try to make it smarter. Work smarter, not harder...that's what one particular professor always told me....

How do you fit your creative process into the time your alloted? How do you streamline your process?

Working on a post for tomorrow with a little something home-ly to give away for my 32nd birthday ;)

more than....

Fractal

My thought and creative processes have been very fragmented lately. And, trust me, they don't need any help in that matter in the first place. After the busy-ness of the last several months, I have been feeling completely tapped out.



I've been in this wild, wonderful creative journey long enough to realize the importance of being gentle with myself, with my creative spirit and my sensitive nature. However, it is still a struggle for me.



I haven't been working on new polymer. Actually, I have, I did this week. Worked on some fall inspired colors and owls to go with the changing of the seasons and transition my color palette. The majority turned into a floppity-flop, which is fine. I was experimenting with a new brand of poly (fancy stuff, even) I think given time, it might grow on me, but as of yet, the experience is still leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

It reminded me, once again, how ingrained our process becomes with not only our medium but even down to specific supplies.

I remember this, of course, after the fact.

Being a mixed media artist, I remember back to different times when I HAD to have a certain brand of cerulean blue paint to capture that thing, that essence, that specific quality I was seeking.

So it is putting me in a bit of perspective, centering me, if you will. Despite the fact I've de-cluttered my studio and my life numerous times, it has me thinking really hard & reevaluating the clutter and necessity of my process and how I'm
honoring it.



The old with the new. I've been experimenting with some techniques I picked up out of Stephanie Lee's Semiprecious Salvage. Here is my first finished experiment ♥

Back!

It's been awhile, no?

Here's my little break in photos.....



Sweet Antique Quarter ring from Old Money Corp.
Sweeet old cowboy boots purchased at a local consignment store
Random cat showing up to stay...
A short hike....
Sweet kisses from the newest member of the family....that's my bro (daddy) in the background...
A packed house at Indie Craft Parade

Erudite Collection....

erudite er′yo̵̅o̅ dīt′adj
having or showing extensive scholarship; learned
[from Latin ērudītus, from ērudīre to polish, from ex-1 + rudis unpolished, rough]

The new Erudite Collection is a collection of rough hand-faceted polymer clay pieces fashioned into wearables. I was really inspired by Diane Hawkey's faceted ceramic nuggets that she sent me in the Bead Soup Party and before that time, I had already been contemplating a new ready to wear jewelry line that incorporated faceted pieces of some kind. I'm getting ready for Indie Craft Parade and I wanted to have a bunch of one of a kind affordable pieces on hand to sell there.

Part of my love affair with polymer clay is taking standard items like tribal fetishes, stones, netsuke and translating them into polymer clay. Polymer clay is such a versatile medium and I leave the mokume gane and canework and complicated things to the polymer clay masters. I am, by my own admission, not a polymer clay master. I couldn't make a cane to save my life and I don't really care to!

I use polymer clay as an extension of my creative process. I could be using any medium, so long as I achieve the aesthetic I set out to get. For me, I have developed a process which I like to follow. For polymer clay, it is sculpting, carving, painting, sanding, polishing.... It is focused and therapeutic to an extent. I use these same process over and over but often the work speaks to me and asks me to change.... Sometimes it asks me to stop and think and reexamine. Should you carve after you paint? Should you carve after the baking/firing?

I've come to realize that I'm very much a process oriented artist. I think that process art gets a bad name sometimes. Sometimes, people associate that those who make process oriented art do not care about its outcome. I think that is untrue. The outcome IS important to me and through the process, I reach this state, where the process is finished and the outcome is apparent. It is very similar to Wabi-Sabi. One accepts the impermanence of all creation or that this piece is finished for this maker.....

What is your aesthetic? How do you work?

The above pieces are currently available for purchase in the shop.

Great Love.....

We can not do great things. We can only do little things with great love.
- Mother Teresa


A exotic and lovely wildflower brought to me by my love.



I almost felt guilty because when he came bearing the small lovely bloom, it was so strange and such a bright green, I glanced at it and said,

"Where did you find that plastic flower? It's really cool!"

He said,

"No, it's real! I found it in a field for you...."

Keri Smith

feldman by keri smith on Flickr

I really don't know why I haven't visited Keri Smith's blog and website until now...I just never made it there. All you artsy-fartsy peeps out there will probably recognize Keri as the author behind such paradigm shifting work such as Wreck this Journal and How to be an Explorer of the World.

As an honest review, I find her books to be sort of a novelty to me. I've never bought one but I love them. I pull them off the shelf at B&N sometimes when I'm there. It is what I strive to do on a daily basis, to think about things in a different manner. They are the epitome of out of the box thinking. That being said, I might get to a point someday where I need more of that thrust in my work than I have within me and they would all be handy little workbooks.

But I love her blog and her website. It is just so refreshing. I was having a moment last week....

OKAY....

A DAY.

I was having a DAY. or a DAY and A HALF.

One of those days where you just feel like you SUCK. And nothing on the earth is going to change your mind.

And THAT is the day I found Keri Smith's blog. and suddenly I didn't feel like I sucked anymore. I felt normal.

YAY!

What made me feel better? It was this post. And the little free PDF's that she gives you and specifically, the page that has "HOW TO FEEL MISERABLE AS AN ARTIST"

GO THERE.
NOW.
FEEL BETTER.
OR BOOKMARK FOR A DAY WHEN YOU FEEL REALLY SUCKY AS AN ARTIST.

Blogging.

Hello. My name is Barbara and I started this blog to promote my business.


But that isn't the only reason. I've been thinking a lot about social media lately. And intention. And why I choose to follow people on their blogs or their Twitter or Facebook. A lot of it is just that. social promotion. But I realized that I've ended up following a lot of people just BECAUSE...not because they inspire me or because I value their business or they value mine but to gain followers perhaps on my blog....and that's not really why I started doing this.

A few weeks ago, I posted a giveaway, in conjunction with a bead swap that I did. I was giving away for free, 3 different things, as a fun addition with the swap. Only 1 out of the 3 people contacted me, despite my reposting the fact that I had stuff to give away to the winners. All of these people were followers on my blog. I have deleted that specific post because I don't want to expose these people, because it isn't my intention to make them feel poorly. Everyone has stuff happen and perhaps the winners didn't realize that they had won. Perhaps they don't read blogs regularly....Whatever....it's not their fault. I don't expect anything in return. But it made me think about things differently.

I wanted to do something fun and offer something fun. I spent time making something. Spending time shooting the photos for the blog, making the items for the free giveaway. It hurt my feelings, in short. So it was an exercise in giving.

Then, in the midst of me feeling put out by this, I read this post, on Nicki's blog. It really struck a chord with me and since then, I've been reevaluating my blog connections. I've been trying to comment on blogs I visit and I've been trying to take note of blogs I comment on who don't return comments. By nature, I'm a lurker and don't comment very often. I am, however, trying to change this. I've taken a look at my blog list and am narrowing to down to a QUALITY, not QUANTITY list. I want to appreciate the efforts of all of the blogs I read, and have them appreciate me in return. A lot of the blogs I visit are LARGE. They have many hundreds of followers and I don't expect a comment in return, but I do read the comments and I take note when/if they respond to comments. Even if they answer simple questions or say "Thanks!" I've also been reevaluatating my own comments to see if I've thanked those who've commented.

I really, really want to be more mindful of my blogging experience and not have it be so passive. I want everyone to know how much I APPRECIATE THEM COMING HERE TO READ MY RAMBLINGS!

I want to provide a voice for my business, and foster a community and I'm still working on that community part. I want people to voice their opinions and be inspired and inspire others. Who's with me?

Working on the work

Working on the work. This is a phrase I came to use while I was in pursuit of my degree at SCAD. It is something we used to refer to all the time in the painting department. Are you working on the work? I've since come to find out that this is an educational philosophy, although I don't think this was intended at the time. I came to understand the phrase in my own way to constantly reevaluate the way one are makes their work. There becomes a stigma, in artmaking, to classify what you do as art. Is it art? Are you trying to make art? What is art? Is anything art?

Sometimes, especially when you are making for a living, you lose site of working on the work. You work to get paid. You have to pay bills. What you make becomes a product, a commodity. The lines of art and creativity and capitalism become strikingly blurred and apparent.

I don't personally classify anything I do to this day as art, no matter the vocabulary that sometimes spews forth from my keyboard or my lips. I continuously have to remind myself to keep working on the work. To constantly reevaluate my process, my objectives, my goals and find the thin red line that is a balance.

so....

canvases prepped for painting
preliminary sketches ready for paint

I'm making a concentrated effort to blog everyday. Yes, I am. Whether it is bland, boring, exciting, fascinating or whatever. I'm making a more ardent attempt to document my life on my blog.

And so, being said, the last few days weren't so exciting. I've been making some new thick copper bezels, in simple inspiring words, that are now listed in the shop. Plus, I've been making a few custom orders. An order of custom studs for a wedding party (pics of which I'll show soon), some matching earrings for a necklace that was previously purchased, and I've also been inspired to paint.

It's odd, because ever since this whole jewelry thing took off, I haven't been inspired to paint too much. Which, in whole, probably has something to do with why I started making jewelry and beads in the first place.

However, in a strange way, the painting has started to creep back in. And I'm welcoming it, quite frankly. I miss painting. Even though I'm not sure quite what to paint yet. I'm just going with it and seeing where it takes me. Painting is my first love. I'm not a fine artist. I'll be the first to admit that. Even though I have the shiny fancy degree to prove it. My work lies somewhere between illustration and decoration and I'm okay with that. I want to tell a story but I also want to paint what I paint. I don't want to get caught up in any convoluted notions of what it means because it is what it is. I plan on finishing these up in the next several days and updating my long neglected art shop.