New King James Version
But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”
Why Children Matter to God
• Psalm 127:3 – “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward.”
• Proverbs 22:6 – Training young hearts shapes lifelong faith.
• 2 Timothy 3:15 – From childhood the Scriptures make one wise for salvation.
God values children not as future adults but as present members of His kingdom.
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After a night of violence, my mother’s friends consoled her. They would gather in our third-floor apartment and tend to her wounds. They comforted her with hugs and dried her tears. One woman would light a cigarette for her, while another applied a bandage. Mother sat in a chair beside her bed and quietly accepted the soothing of her pain – it wouldn’t be the last time.
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She graciously accepted the consolation because she received what she had given. This wounded trio of women formed a friendship of understanding founded on the evil of violence. They would regularly witness a night of terror – if only by way of screaming, glass breaking and the thud of a body being thrown around a room.
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We lived on the third floor of an apartment building that often rocked with violence. One night the woman on the first floor would scream as her children watched their father brutalize their mother. Another night it would be the woman on the second floor who tried to endure the same horror she heard coming from the first-floor apartment just the other day.
And then, it’s mother’s turn.
The sounds were always the same – dark and terror filled. They get recorded in a child’s memories and even in their sleep they are traumatized. Children who grow up in violent and abusive homes are haunted by evil no child should ever endure. As their mothers are comforted – they wonder who will comfort them. Who will dry their tears – who will hold them when they tremble with fear. Who will deliver them from the madness and assure them, “Everything is going to be fine.” Mostly, they are alone with their pain and too often – no one cares.
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CHILDREN LIVE WHAT THEY LEARN
What abusers do not understand is this – they are creating generational dysfunction and destroying lives. The children that witness your violence, suffer from your abuse – sexually, emotionally and in any other evil form – they are damaged for the rest of their lives. Abusers, can you really live with that? Knowing you harmed an innocent child who just wanted to be a kid and loved? More so, your violence programs many children to become violent themselves – especially male children. Both male and female are at risk of becoming angry adults who take their anger out on others and have no clue as to why. The cycle continues because children cannot process violence in ways their young minds can understand why it happens. They sometimes feel responsible, although they are victims as well. Children internalize what they witness and feel shame, blame and a host of other feelings that damage their self-esteem. Most of all, they feel helpless.
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My two brothers learned the way of domestic abuse. The oldest was killed by his live-in-girlfriend in 1975. He was 27 years old. He moved in with a woman who also indulged in drugs and alcohol. What he learned in my mother’s house he took with him. It is a long story I won’t go into – however, my brother was wrong for abusing her, and she was wrong for taking his life because she had choices. She could have evicted him as the apartment was her place. There were other alternatives, but when alcohol is involved, the mind is influenced by the evil one who was a murderer from the beginning.
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My other brother eventually accepted Christ and stopped the violence against his wife. Even though the abuse stopped, I believe the damage to the marriage was irreparable although they continued to live under the same roof. There were signs that the relationship was fractured severely. With the help of God he at least went to his grave repentant.
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The written material and links I have listed below have helped me greatly over the years. With God’s help, I was able to stop blaming myself in any way. I was a child, period. I thank God for the organizations that help those who grew up with alcoholism and violence and abuse of various kinds. To heal, we must first embrace our spiritual side. When we accept Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world, we receive the blessed gift of the Holy Spirit – who guides us and helps with our healing journey. Faith is paramount to receive the healing that is available to us. It is hard work cleansing our souls of the lies and distortions of truth – but it is worth the effort. We are worth the effort.
Choosing your Higher Power with no pressure to conform to any religion is one of the highlights of the program I benefited from. Everyone will choose their own path, as the emphasis is on healing childhood wounds. However, I believe that Jesus Christ is the answer for the world. Christ says in John 14:6 – “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.”
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Another important truth is this – believers in Christ who suffer in this world are best equipped to help others because we have God’s Holy Spirit living within us.
“3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in [b]any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
The Holy Spirt guides us daily – if we are receptive to His voice and instruction. We must pray for a spirit of discernment so we can distinguish between the Spirit’s voice and that of the devil.
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Many wonder why God allows us to suffer in the first place. God will not override our free will. We live in a fallen world where evil flourishes the further we get away from obeying God. Sin is the reason for the suffering in this world, and often in our personal lives. Not God. Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying. You are not suffering domestic violence and abuse because you have sinned and are being punished by God. No. Unfortunately there are some religious circles that teach this false doctrine to establish and maintain control over women.
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New American Standard Bible
“Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all mankind, because all sinned—”
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Here, the focus shifts to personal responsibility and the reality that all individuals have sinned, as stated in Romans 3:23. This phrase suggests that while sin entered the world through Adam, each person contributes to the perpetuation of sin through their own actions. It emphasizes the need for personal repentance and the acceptance of Christ’s redemptive work. The universality of sin underscores the comprehensive nature of Christ’s atonement, which is available to all who believe (1 John 1:8-9).
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New American Standard Bible
The LORD tests the righteous and the wicked, And His soul hates one who loves violence.
Abusers who terrorize with violence – “His soul hates one who loves violence.”
New International Version
The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.
How would you feel knowing the Creator of the Universe “hates” you? More so, “hates you with a passion?” You are troubling the very heart and soul of Almighty God with your wicked violence and abuse. How? You are abusing souls that Jesus died for. Souls that God loves and desires to have a relationship with – even you.
It sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? God is love, but He hates me.
He hates how you live and the destruction you bring to the lives of others – especially the most vulnerable in your life.
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His soul hates the lover of violence.
This phrase emphasizes God’s moral opposition to violence and those who delight in it. The term “soul” here anthropomorphizes God, attributing human-like emotions to Him to convey His deep aversion to sin. Violence, in biblical terms, often refers to unjust actions that harm others, contrary to God’s nature of love and justice. This is consistent with other scriptures, such as Proverbs 6:16-19, which lists things the LORD hates, including “hands that shed innocent blood.” The strong language used here serves as a warning against adopting a lifestyle that is contrary to God’s will, highlighting the seriousness of sin and the need for repentance.
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Domestic violence is EVIL! Violent abusers practice evil, period.
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The books I am sharing are my own. You will find The Courage to Heal on Amazon if you choose to purchase. I am listing my own that I have purchased because I am not trying to sell anything – just offering hope at no cost.
Working the lessons isn’t easy and will trigger memories you choose to forget. However, to get to the other side of the pain, you must confront the reality of the things that happened to you.
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Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families World Service
For some reason I am unable to embed the link to their site. But you can locate it with the above. Sorry about that. I will try to fix soon.
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Children are precious in the sight of God. He cares about the pain you have carried all of your life and wants to free you from that emotional prison.
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Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath; instead, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Psalm 78:4-6
We will not hide them from their children but will declare to the next generation the praises of the LORD and His might and the wonders He has performed. / For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers to teach to their children, / that the coming generation would know them—even children yet to be born—to arise and tell their own children
2 Timothy 3:15
From infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 54:13
Then all your sons will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their prosperity.
Colossians 3:21
Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become discouraged.
Genesis 18:19
For I have chosen him, so that he will command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, in order that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has promised.”Psalm 127:3-5
Children are indeed a heritage from the LORD, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. / Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are children born in one’s youth. / Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. He will not be put to shame when he confronts the enemies at the gate.
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HELPING ABUSERS
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BREAKING THE SILENCE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
https://wingsprogram.com/
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EFFECTS OF VIOLENCE ON CHILDREN
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BATTERERS INTERVENTION PROGRAM
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
https://www.thehotline.org/get-help/
Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence 