You will drift apart,

Had someone told me this before I would have laughed so hard.

I take a sip of my Ovaltine, put the mug aside and continue taking out all the items from my drawer, with the intention of cleaning it. Lesser did I know that I will get my hands on few colorful papers – memories. Some even had crafts on them but the best one was the bundle of the half-folded papers.

It was nothing less than pressing the rewind button but with touch of sadness. Gradually sadness was engulfed by amazement after absorbing all the papers.

How funny life gets.

All the time in our present we’re oblivious to the fact that tomorrow, this present moment is not promised. Still we go to sleep with such surety that it makes me smile now.

All of our life may turn into one gigantic, fast slippery slope but we end up realizing this after reaching end.

Sometimes it is never enough whereas every time, too much of anything is toxic. Even our goodness. Which leave certain people confused, what should be or shouldn’t be done.

Pro-tip,

In this time, we should let people be. No matter how they want, what they want or who they want. We should just let them be.

Because these days it is supposed to be, none of our business regarding what matters to the person that matters so much for us. It’s not the time when burdens were meant to be shared, surely not the time when people hadn’t had the role of mere audience in ones life.

And if you’ll not let them be…

You’ll drift apart,

You will surely drift apart,

And it will be really not fun.

-Mustahibah

P.S. I will try my best to be more consistent and post regularly.

Do share your views regarding this one till then.

We all are messed up behind our covers.
And it’s ok.
Because flaws are embedded in human form. Only difference is some are noisy enough to be acknowledged by people living in another continent and some are dead silent that you can easily miss their existence.
Another thing we need to learn is comparison of our flaws with someone else’s because who knows what causes us problem is jackpot for another person. So, instead of being harsh on ourself we need to be polite.
Again it’s ok, because behind every curtain there is an imperfect creation, afraid to face the world it presumes to be perfect.
-mustahibah

Do you want me to write about us’, she asked. And that question created a chain reaction of happiness in me which was evident from my huge smile. ‘Why not!’ I replied to her. 
‘So what should be its title?’

‘Hey!! You are good at it so, I can’t help you here’

‘Ok, at least suggest how should I start’

‘My memory isn’t good either’

‘This isn’t fair! One should remember the first meeting at least!!!’  

She was dejected by my answers and I was enjoying that. Teasing her has always been amusing for me. 

‘Eric, I am not writing unless you tell me how we met!! I mean it’s so bad that you can forget such thing!!’ 

I knew I can’t mess with her for much longer so I smiled and told her what I can never dare to forget. Because it was the day that blessed me with her surreal companionship. And today marks 7 years of our togetherness. 

But still her trembling voice which I heard for the first time is engraved in my memory. She was struggling to reach the top shelf and That was when she asked for my help. I grabbed the dvd from the shelf and turned to hand it over to her. 

Stunned 

Startled

Stuck

I was,

Don’t know by her simplicity or by the amount of things she was already holding or by the tears that were about to fall. I could have handed her the dvd and left for my own movie night but I ended up in the park, listening to her story of rejection. I wonder what an idiot the person must have been to not approve her short story. Since then I have been trying to persuade her to write and finally After 7 years, she has agreed to it. I feel so proud of her because over the years she has improved her skills immensely and I am sure she will ace it this time. Because our relationship has all the details a story must contain and yes, a happy ending too!

.

.

.

.

.

And that was it. 

You left me. It’s me now writing about us, you know it’s not fair because I can’t express what we had that your death took away from me. It’s not fair, I was supposed to read our story written by you instead of writing it while crying and cursing. It’s not fair that our story doesn’t get a happy ending. It’s not fair I am left with a trembling voice for rest of my life. It is just not fair.

It took me less than a minute to realise how badly I had hurt her. I ran after her with the belief that she will forgive me right away.Guess what, I was wrong. Completely wrong. Sometimes healing is just not an option, when you break someone brutally enough that they get lost whilst finding their own pieces.

If you are thinking that what happened when I went after her then yes, we got together but that togetherness is the most excruciating thing I have experienced in my life. And I am all to be blamed for the void created between us. 

We should understand that love is a courageous act. It encompasses all the emotions, all the extremes and all the insecurities so disrespecting it should never be on our list. But doing so, marks the start of our sufferings.

That day I made her feel, ‘she wasn’t worthy enough for my love’. Now It’s me deprived of all those heavenly feelings that I don’t even feel worthy enough for my own love. 

-mustahibah