[HMtW] LOOTGRINDER

We've all been there: You're just trying to move on from the recent encounter, direct the PCs somewhere interesting. Meanwhile, your players are trying to strip the set dressing for all the valuables. Just really trying to dig in like the local meth users after the junkyard's catalytic converters.*

"I LOOT THE BODY"

"What's he carrying?" 

"Do I get his stuff?" 

"I'm writing down that I got his stuff"

"So I got his stuff, what about the next guy's stuff?"

God, shut UP, Brandon. Give me time to light a cigarette, you degenerate swine. Finish your beer and let me think. I love them, I do. They're just bad.

I digress. 

The Lootgrinder

In order to stop my players from attempting to search the walls for copper, I've adapted a standard Meatgrinder table of use with Random Loot. The basic idea looks like this: 

Card	Loot
I	[Resource]
II	[Resource]
III	[Resource]
IV	[Resource]
V	[Resource]
VI	[Curiosity]
VII	[Curiosity]
VIII	[Curiosity]
IX	[Curiosity]
X	[Curiosity]
XI	[Treasure]
XII	[Treasure]
XIII	[Treasure]
XIV	[Treasure]
XV	[Treasure]
XVI	[Treasure]
XVII	[Treasure]
XVIII	[Treasure]
XIX	[Treasure]
XX	[Treasure]
XXI	[Item Related to Current Quest]

On it, you've got a few different categories that largely speak for themselves. Resources are consumables used to continue exploring the dungeon. Curiosities are not exactly treasure, but random artifacts of the life you just snuffed out. And Treasures are valuables the creature had on it; not major magical artifacts, just valuable things it might have on it. Preferably each Lootgrinder is customized to an area, just like a Meatgrinder.

PCs slay the creature, you draw a card before they can over open their greedy gobs, and tell them what they find. Easy as. Honestly, a Loot table tied to the Minor Arcana so the players can do the work themselves would be ideal, but the chance to finish such a task has not presented itself yet. 

As way of example, here's a table meant for someone you might find in a human settlement. It's a bit bigger, because I've been Overloading my personal tables lately, but it gets the point across.

		Loot
Card	Type	Upright	Reversed
I	[Resource]	A fresh Torch	A scorched Torch
II	[Resource]	3 Candles	Firewood
III	[Resource]	1 Ration	2 Rations
IV	[Resource]	1 Vial of Oil	Booze
V	[Resource]	50' Rope	A cracked Lantern
VI	[Curiosity]	A Smooth Stone with a Thumb Hole	A Collection of Teeth
VII	[Curiosity]	An Armband with a Recent Political Slogan	Ogre Skin Cap
VIII	[Curiosity]	A Letter between Lovers	A poorly carved Figurine
IX	[Curiosity]	A Ring of Random Keys	A Tin Cup engraved "Death Before Decaf"
X	[Curiosity]	A lewd, half completed Flip Book	A Supply List
XI	[Treasure]	A small Ruby (flawed; 25gp)	A medium Ruby (flawless; 75gp)
XII	[Treasure]	Jade Figurine (fine; 150gp)	Rare Booze (75gp)
XIII	[Treasure]	A Jeweled Tiara (300gp)	A fist-sized Diamond (actually glass; 20gp)
XIV	[Treasure]	Pouch of Elven Grass (dank; 420gp)	Furzwitze's Pocket Humor Book (3rd printing; 10gp)
XV	[Treasure]	Pouch of Assorted Gems (various; 250gp)	Money Pouch (top discard card*10gp)
XVI	[Treasure]	Fancy Tobacco Tin (10gp)	45 gp
XVII	[Treasure]	Fresh Socks (priceless)	A Golden Chalice (slight dent; 20gp)
XVIII	[Treasure]	Fancy Dagger with Gilded Handle (50gp)	A Silver Locket (15gp)
XIX	[Treasure]	A Deed to Property in the City	A Fist-sized Orb (flawless; 40gp)
XX	[Treasure]	100 gp	33 gp
XXI	[Item Related to Current Quest]

*I don't know who needs to hear this, but data centers are swollen with precious metals 

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[SWS] Mercenaries

 

There's another bandwagon going around, something about Randomness. There're rules, though I didn't actually read 'em, just sort of looked at them and acknowledged their existence before I just assumed I knew what the article was about. I did see, however, a certain entry absent from a certain random list. Message received, Birdman. Message received loud and clear. The response shall be cruel. 

Anyway, I ain't doing any of that nonsense. What I _am_ doing is taking a look at my collection of unfinished ideas and rolling for which one to work on. Then rushing slightly due to what day it is. And the winner is...

Mercenaries Redux

The friendly NPCs of Some Weird Sin are nebulously categorized into one of three groups:

1. Contacts - They're the black market dealers you speak to between missions. They're the informants you've hired to case a place in your planning stage. They're people who will happily take your money, but won't put themselves in danger for you. They're obtained through roleplay and the Fixer ability. 
2. Groupies - These are a weird combination of Contacts and Mercenaries. Enthralled by your charisma, they'll do nearly anything for you, even, eventually, put themselves in danger via combat. They provide a skill based on their current career, 10 inventory slots, and +1 to Defense and Attack. However, they don't want your money. No, no. They want favors. 
3. Mercenaries - These are what PCs would be if they didn't have Players playing them. They're other people in the same line of work as you, though each have a different advertised skill, based around (usually) the templates. They provide a +1 to Defense and Attack, and work for hard cold cash. No inventory slots, as they've their own shit to carry. 

That's fine and all. I mean, it's worked so far. Though lately, I've had me the hankering to complicate the Mercenaries a bit. Anyone can acquire them, might as well make it slightly pretty. So given that, Mercenaries now come in two flavors: Nobodies and Named. 

Nobodies
These are your basic, well, nobodies. Effectively just starting out in this life style, willing to do anything for cash. They ain't even got a name yet. They provide a +1 to Defense/Attack and will perform tasks based on their advertised skill. 

Job	Cost	Description
Chemist	₽300	Self taught. Fun at parties.
Cracksman	₽300	They've practiced a little with cracking a safe. They even did it once.
Driver	₽250	Fine as long as it's not a manual transmission
Electrician	₽300	Don't use the male-to-male connector they hand you.
Gunman	₽400	Sometimes you just need an extra gun.
Joeboy	₽300	Bodyguard jacked full of growth hormones
Lookout	₽100	They could literally be replaced with a remote camera.
Medic	₽650	They're pretty sure they can keep the patient alive.
Scriptkitty	₽550	Amature hacker with some questionable apps
VR Influencer	₽400	They have some following. Might be useful.

Not a complete list, mind. Just for exemplifying. 

Named
This is where it gets more interesting. These people are established and have names. Mind you, not legal names, but the nom de guerre that members of the merc community like to adopt. They also have hopes, desires, and unique abilities you can deploy in the field. They also provide a +1 plus their level (starting at 1) to the usual Attack/Defense. All this will cost you more though. 

So why pay the price? A few reasons:

1. You get what you pay for. Each has a unique ability they're able to use, not just access to a skill. You will have to buy it per use up front, however, with any unspent usage going to waste. 
2. They're upgradeable. Those hopes and desires I mentioned? While your character runs on XP, the Named Mercenaries run on meeting certain goals. "Find my father's killer." "Get my car back." "Steal the mayor's kidney." That sort of thing. You help them out, and you'll unlock an additional level (thus increasing their Attack/Defense bonus) and getting a new ability out of it. 
3. Domain play. This ain't the most thought out part at the moment, despite the idea banging around in my head for a while. Basically, if'n the PC crew starts looking to irk out their own turf among the gangs of the city, the Named Mercenaries are hireable to cover the boring parts of base building.  

Examples

Name - Role $PricePerJob 
Goals: Describes what the character needs you to do, in order to level up.
Dislikes: Witnessing the hiring PC engage or encourage this causes a loyalty check. 
Level 1 Ability (+CostPerUse): Describes the ability that the +CostPerUse is paying for.
Level 2 Ability (+CostPerUse): Describes the ability gained once the Named Mercenary has their Goal met.

Johnny Lockheart (he/they) - Pretty Boy $6000

Converse shoes, leather jacket, and a grin that could melt a steel beam, Johnny is Grade A Pretty Boy - a Face unconcerned with the mercenary gig - usually just in it for the Flash and Cash. He'll do the job you want, and he'll look good Beautiful while doing it. 

Goal: A friend of his from the club scene has gone missing and was last seen with technocultists. Be a dear and find them, would you?

Dislikes:  

Level 1 Ability (+$1000/use): That Damn Smile - After a failed social attempt by the supported PC, he'll swoop in with that smile of his, along with a little honeyed words, and allow for a second attempt at the check, now made with favor. 

Level 2 Ability (+2000/use): Disarming Smile - Literally. With a quick flash of the pearly whites and a wink that would have destroyed Puritan society in an instant, he's able to make the target drop whatever is in their hands. No save, he just does that.

"Tex" Redgrove (he/him) - Gunslinger $4000 
I want you to imagine Orville Peck with a Colt SSA Peacemaker strapped to his side. If you won't, I certainly will. But, also, use that as a character description. His cowboy themed attire often makes him the butt of jokes in the local merc community, but his deadly accuracy while shooting from the hip stifles any laughter. 
Goal: A local gang leader has taken his motorcycle as collateral. The debt has been paid off, but the gangbanger insists additional interest is needed. Damned if he's paying it. Help him get that bike back.
Dislikes: Liars and Cheats
Level 1 Ability (+$2000/use): Dead Eye - Performs a single ranged attack that automatically deals the supported character's Max damage to the target.
Level 2 Ability (innate): Fan the Hammer - Multiple Dead Eyes can now be chained up to six shots at a time across multiple targets. 
 

So What If a Named Mercenary Dies?

Well...did the PCs see a body? Did they confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was dead? No? Then guess who has some hot new cyberware and a burning desire for revenge!  Hell, even if they did, capitalism values not the sanctity of life and death if there's the possibility of profit. Jank the carcass full of cyberware, behold it to a megacorp that hates the players, and send the poor stuck-between-life-and-death bastard after them.

Continue Reading...

Cardinal Goons

 The Pope is dead, again, and the leader of the capitalist world is proposing the dumbest thing ever, again, and now his mega rich followers have gone to the Vatican to combine the two situations. I needn't tell you how these people's messiah would whip the shit out of them with a whip of his own braiding. They lack self awareness and the critical thinking to realize this, however.

But, now a game of how Cardinals become Popes. Strangely it doesn't involve shedding skin during metamorphosis.

Cardinal Goons

The Gist

Six candidate Cardinals must delve into the catacombs of Vatican City. There, they will face unknown and terrifying challenges; tests to ensure their Devotion, Piety, and Infallibility. They must delve deep and retrieve the triregnum, to return with it and sit upon the Cathedra. 

But be warned: The throne only seats one. 

(You know Tunnel Goons? It's that, but with select cardinals. The majority is rehashed here for convenience.)  

Action Rolls

When the outcome of an action is uncertain, roll 2d6 + ability + 1/relevant item. If the result is equal to or greater than the assigned Difficult Score (DS), then it is a success. If the action is potentially dangerous (ie. attacking a roaming Head of John the Baptist), then the difference in the resulting roll and the DC is the amount of damage done. Basically, if you fail the roll, you take damage equal to the difference. If you succeed, you give the damage. 

Difficulty Score

Easy: 8 | Medium: 10 | Hard: 12

Inventory

The Inventory Score is how many things you can stuff into your adventure sack. Anything over this number causes a -1 to be added to your Pius and Sin rolls. 

Characters come with 3 unique items, but the rest of the pack is yours to fill. Or overfill, even.

Inventory Score starts at 8. 

Heath and Death

Heal starts at 10. When you reach 0, you are dead. 

Regain all Health lost by stopping for a meal of pasta and wine. This takes about 30 minutes.

Advancement

If you’re still playing this for some reason, you advance every 2 game sessions. Raise 1 attribute (below) and choose your Inventory or Health to also increase by 1. 

Attributes

Every character starts off with 0 or more points in the following attributes. 

Pius - Your ability to avoid the devil. Literally dodging away from him.

Devotion - Your dedication to scripture, both the written and spoken word.  

Sin - Your ability to do terrible things. Hitting, stealing, trials of the flesh.

Also, everyone speaks their native language and Latin. 

The Papabili

Cardinal Chook Duggery

_The Tree Hugger_

P 2 | D 1 | S 0

* Habit of Francis of Assisi - Allows for speaking with Animals.

* Corked Galero - Protects against swarms of things. 

* Crozier of Saint Fiarce - Functions as a Staff weapon, but also can cause Grasping Vines to grow (DC 10) 

Cardinal Giuseppe Archette

_The Studious_

P 1 | D 2 | S 0

* Scroll of Saint Floran (DC 10) - Spits a fireball at the target. Consumed on Failure.

* Scroll of Jude Thaddeus (DC 10) - Restores Health. Consumed on Failure.

* Finger Bone of Saint Anthony of Padua - Protects against the Undead as Armor. 1st degree artifact. 

Cardinal Godric Foundling

_The Knight_

P 0 | D 1 | S 2

* Armored Mitre - Dented and bloodied, but it perceivers 

* Sword of Saint Catherine - Yes, that one. 

* Rib Bone of Saint George - Provides divine protection from the knight of knights. 

Cardinal Ignacio Marquez

_The Red_ 

P 1 | D 0 | S 2

* Piano wire reinforced rosary beads

* Dagger (hidden within crucifix) 

* Red silk gloves

Cardinal Jean-Claude Chisanga 

_The Untouchable_

P 2 | D 0 | S 1

* Ankle Bone of Saint Christopher (DC 10) - When set to a trip line, causes an alarm to cry once the line is tripped. 

* Habit of Saint Nicholas Owen (DC 10) - Allows the wearer to appear to be up to five feet from their actual location. Consumed on failure. 

* Sack of Golden Caltrops

Cardinal Lucien De Vos

_The Raven_

P 3 | D 0 | S 0

* Toe Knuckle of Saint Casila - Aids in sneaking. 1st degree artifact.

* Lockpick of Saint Baldomerus - Set of lockpicks used by Baldomerus of Lyons. 2nd degree artifact. 

* Hand of Glory - Unlocks any door. Once. Consumed on use.

Cardinal Seamus O’Brien

_The Lich_ 

P 0 | D 3 | S 0

* Scroll of Saint Rita of Cascia (DC 10) - Raises a servant from a currently unused corpse. Consumed on failure. Fails if a servant currently exists. 

* Blood of Saint Januarius (DC 10) - Allows for the viewing of ghosts. 1st degree artifact. Consumed on failure.

* Thurible (as mace) - Billows sweet smelling smoke as it swings. 

Cardinal Stanislaw Kovacs 

_The Serpent Tongued_

P 0 | D 2 | S 1

* Pickled Tongue of Saint Bartholomew - When placed in the user’s mouth, anything they speak detects as the truth. 

* Scroll of Saint Joseph of Cupertino (DC 10) - Makes the target forget the last few moments. Consumed on failure. 

* Silver snake dagger 

Cardinal Tex Smith

_The American_

P 0 | D 0 | S 3

* Thoughts - Gold plated desert eagle. Twined with Prayers.

* Prayers - Gold plated desert eagle. Twined with Thoughts.

* Plate of Deep Fried Spaghetti (ration)

Doug Nash

_The Lost Tourist_

P 1 | D 1 | S 1

* Cell Phone - No reception

* Sacred Heart of Jesus statue (as Club) - Bought from the gift shop

* Tourist Guide Book - Good for looking things up. 

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