Ecch (Tweet) of the Day

LMAOOO pic.twitter.com/6tHT922FK1

— VolgaLad (@cym27s) June 3, 2026

Very dark humor, but I like dark humor.

Whatever Works

Tom Gauld

H/t Pharyngula

I Saw The Sheep Detectives Last Night

I was impressed by the the movie.

The concept is kind of silly, sheep that can talk to each other but not to humans solve a murder, but it's well played and does not take itself too seriously.

Additionally, the CGI seemed to be understated and well executed.

It's smart, funny, I laughed out loud, and genuinely surprised when the murderer was exposed.

It was definitely worth the price of admission, though, full disclosure, my eldest bought the tickets as a Mother's Day gift for Sharon*.

Our local theater now has a bar in the lobby, so you could drink beer and watch the movie, which seems to be to be a bad thing.

One of the rites of passage in my day was teenage movie-goers smuggling food and booze in.

F%$#, I'm old. 

^*Love of my life, light of the cosmos, she who must be obeyed, my wife.

A Jewish Joke

Many years ago, a Jew was the most trusted minister to a king.

The king said, "Moishe, I would like to make you my prime minister, but the people would not stand for me appointing a Jew, please convert."

Moishe agrees, and converts to Christianity, and becomes prime minister.

After a few months, he cannot deal with this any more, and with much trepidation, he goes to the king and says, "My king, I am a Jew, and I cannot be otherwise.  Please forgive me, but I must resign from my position and return to the practices of Judaism."

The king understands, and is not angry, and accepts Moishe's decision.

He then goes home to his wife, and says Shoshana, I am no longer prime minister.  I have to be a Jew.

Shoshana smacks him on the head, and says, "Moishe, why couldn't you wait until AFTER Passover?"

My gentile reader(s) may not get this, but all of my Jewish readers do.

I've been thinking about this joke for the past week or so as our hoshold frantically cleans for Pesach. 

 

I Want This So Badly

This is positively brilliant. 

Are there online plans for this? 

A Plan So Cunning You Could Put a Tail on It and Call It Weasel

Get in. We're messing up Melania's Amazon search results
byu/mulcahey inesist

The Pitch

The Cover Art

The blurb.

Over on Reddit, someone has made a wonderful suggestion, that we all go to Amazon, and that we all, "Amplify the paranormal erotic thriller novel Melania: Devourer of Men so it ranks higher than her movie," on Amazon.

The eBook is free on kindle, so you can download it, and boost the algorithm, so that when someone searches for, Melania the documentary, they get this book instead.

This act is generally called, "Google Bombing," though in this case, it would be Amazon bombing.

Classic examples of Google bombing, are sucessful efforts to make the search for "Miserable failure," giving the result of George W. Bush, and the word, "Santorum," giving the result, "The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex." 

Surely we can do the same to Melania. 

My House Was Broken Into Last Night

Nothing was taken.

What was left were 4 tickets to the Melania documentary and a letter of apology.

It's not my joke, but I cannot figure out who said this first. 

Elon Musk's Lawyer is a Fucking Clown

No, literally, not metaphorically. 

One of Musk;s IP lawyers, Jaymie Parkkinen, has a side gig as a clown.

If Elon Musk’s antics over the past few years have felt like a three-ring circus, there just might be a reason for that.

As it turns out, one of the billionaire’s key legal strategists isn’t just an attorney but a professionally trained — and currently practicing — clown.

We wish we were kidding. But new reporting by Business Insider tells the tale of Jaymie Parkkinen, an intellectual property lawyer representing Musk by day while working as an actual clown by night. Amidst a massive courtroom drama playing out between Musk and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman, Parkkinen has stood out, occasionally going it alone against esteemed counsel for OpenAI and Microsoft on the multibillionaire’s behalf.

“All of my comedy friends — none of them can believe I’m a lawyer,” Parkkinen told BI. “And none of my lawyer friends can believe I do clown.”

“Clown” is his preferred term for the act of performing onstage in the slapstick tradition, an intransitive verb similar to “improv” or “vogue” dance. For Parkkinsen, clown is less about dressing up in big goofy shoes and throwing pies, and more of an artistic craft, similar to the way silent artists mime as a comedic technique.

A clown representing a clown.

I Needed This So Much, and So Do You

I did not know that I needed this, but I really, really did;

Thank you Hank Azaria.

I have been a fan since Herman's Head. 

Today In Horrifying Restaurant Reviews - Stellar Parthenon

I went to Luby's, and had the worst drive through experience ever. 

This is my joke, I a came up with it on my own.

It is the 2nd worst joke* that I have ever heard in my life. 

If you want to get the joke, the context is here, but if you don't get the joke, count yourself lucky.

I had to share this because I am a very bad person. 

^*I heard the most awful joke ever in 1981, and I have never repeated it, nor will I.

True Evil Genius

Fucking Brilliant 

On occasion, I have suggested that if you are out for revenge, you should dig two graves.

I am man enough to admit that I was wrong, though clearly this is a special case.

This is the Gordian Knot of payback, and I am still chuckling.

Clearly at some point, "Rob" is destined to rule all of Asia. 

Shut Up and Take My Money!

I just came across a fascinating new book, Lessons from Cats for Surviving Fascism, available from Hachette and other book sellers.

Stewart "Brittlestar" Reynolds is a Canadian humorist.

I do really want to read this book. 

I Saw a Shark in a Red Hat Today

 It seems that Santa Jaws is coming to town.

This is the Most Accurate Presentation of the Jewish Relationship to God I've Seen in a Comic Strip

Yes, I know, this describes a very highly constrained data set, but it is true.

To my gentile reader(s), surely you have a Jew whisperer who might be able to explain this to you? 

I Cannot Believe that this Shit is Political News

First is the news that Trey Parker and Matt Stone have delayed the latest South Park Episode, saying that the famously last minute production for the show had not gotten the episode done in time. (note, this had only happened once before, when they lost power at the studio)

Some fans are wondering if they produced an episode with Cartman doing a Charlie Kirk parody again, and that they had to pivot to something else.  

Despite the bi-weekly release schedule for South Park Season 27, and amidst heightened public scrutiny of the show’s political rhetoric, Comedy Central has postponed tonight's planned premiere of the next South Park episode to Wednesday, September 24th.

This last-minute cancellation comes one week after a gunman at Utah Valley University murdered right-wing political activist and recent South Park parody target Charlie Kirk. Just minutes after graphic videos of Kirk’s high-profile assassination went viral on social media, far-right figures and Kirk followers called for Trey Parker, Matt Stone and South Park to suffer consequences for their ridicule of the late media figure in the August 6th episode “Got a Nut.” [FWIW, that episode was loved by the late right wing pundit, despite it mercilessly savaging him]

Now, with the political world and the South Park fandom both anxiously awaiting Parker and Stone’s next move, the South Park duo have asked their viewers for a rain check.

Also, in response to some relatively mild statements, basically that the right-wing MAGAts are using the killing to promulgate their agenda, ABC has pulled Jimmy Kimmel, "Indefinitely."

ABC announced on Wednesday evening that it was pulling Jimmy Kimmel’s late night show “indefinitely” after conservatives accused the longtime host of inaccurately describing the politics of the man who is accused of fatally shooting the right-wing activist Charlie Kirk.

The abrupt decision by the network, which is owned by the Walt Disney Company, came hours after the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, Brendan Carr, assailed Mr. Kimmel and suggested that his regulatory agency might take action against ABC because of remarks the host made on his Monday telecast. 

……… 

The decision to suspend “Jimmy Kimmel Live” was made by Robert A. Iger, Disney’s chief executive, and Dana Walden, the company’s television chief, according to a person with knowledge of the matter, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss a private process. 

In his opening monologue on Monday, Mr. Kimmel addressed the killing of Mr. Kirk by saying: “We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them, and doing everything they can to score political points from it.” 

This should really be shit that I don't have to care care about .

Fascism sucks, and so does Brendan Carr. 

A Suggesting for an Update to the Cracker Barrel Logo

In case you are wondering, yes this is an AI generated image, and yes, I am very ashamed of myself.

That being said, trolling MAGAts is the highest purpose for AI as it currently exists. 

I Do Not Recall South Park Being This Good During the Clinton Impeachment

I don't watch South Park often, my wife objects strongly, and many of her knives are quite dull, but I did catch a few episodes when it first came out.

I do not recall Parker and Stone doing anything at all about the Clinton impeachment, even though that centered around a blow job. 

It seemed to me to be a news event well suited to their talents.

Almost as well suited as Kristi Noem's shooting of her family's puppy: 

@couriernewsroom

South Park shows Kristi Noem killing multiple dogs in their most recent episode. Noem’s face also appears to start drooping, which is only fixed with layers of makeup.

♬ original sound - COURIER

@southparklover00

South Park season 27 episode 2 end credits

♬ original sound - Cartman’s#1fan

Sweet!

Funny, Innit?

On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert calls the CBS $16 million "settlement" with Donald Trump a, "Big fat bribe," in order to get approval for their (Paramont's) merger with Larry Ellison's kids, and on Thursday, CBS canceled the show, effective in 10 months.

CBS says that it's just about money, and they cannot make money on late night any more. 

For a decade the comedian Stephen Colbert has mocked, ridiculed and eviscerated Donald Trump from every conceivable angle. On Thursday Colbert told his audience at the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York that his popular late night TV show is being cancelled. “Yeah, I share your feelings,” he said in response to a chorus of boos.

The CBS network insisted that it had made “a purely financial decision” to wind up The Late Show next year. But others are not so sure. Adam Schiff, a Democratic senator who was a guest on Thursday’s show, tweeted: “If Paramount and CBS ended the Late Show for political reasons, the public deserves to know. And deserves better.”

There are reasonable grounds for suspicion. Earlier this month CBS’s owner, Paramount Global, reached a $16m settlement with Trump over an interview on its current affairs strand 60 Minutes, removing a potential obstacle to the company’s $8bn sale to the Hollywood studio Skydance Media.

If the mega-merger goes ahead, a friend and ally of the US president, the billionaire Larry Ellison, could wield huge influence over the CBS news division as well as programmes ranging from South Park to Star Trek. The Late Show is sure to be seen by some as an example of obeying in advance.

Sure, Jan.

A tyrants cannot abide being made fun of, and CBS is busy, "Obeying in advance.:

Remember When Jon Stewart Was Funny?

Almost as good as his Jim Cramer Interview

He still has its moments.

As you may recall, some asshole hacked the Twitter account of the Sesame Street character Elmo, and posted antisemitic and racist comments and conspiratorial rants about the Epstein files.

So Jon Steward does what Jon Stewart do, and he "interviews" "Elmo".

The red Muppet was created to appeal to the youngest demographic for the educational show, and the interview juxtaposes this with rather adult bit of humor.

My favorite bit was Stewart talking about his doing "Elmopalooza." 

The truth is, I'm being honest. 

Elmo at the time was great to work with, he was. 

Was there a ton of coke on set? 

Of course. 

It gets far more twisted as we go down the rabbit hole.

If This Joke Were Any Darker, Kristi Noem Would Rendition it to a Salvadoran Gulag

I'm sure that I should that I am sorry for this, but I am not sorry one little bit. 

Here is the joke: 

Someone should tell Sirhan Sirhan that RFK, Jr. is cheating on his wife with Jodi Foster.

I came up with this gem on my own in the car this evening.  

If you are wondering what the F%$# is wrong with me, it's a pretty long list.