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My 2025 Awards Eligibility!

Christmas, the season of hope.

Across the land, the Nebulas are dusting off their shelves, and the Hugo Awards are awakening from their year-long slumber, and writers everywhere are beginning to remember that, yes, they did write things during this awful year and yes they DO deserve awards for this! And so they scurry off to their newsletters and their barren blogospheres and their half-assed websites and write posts like this one, in the slim hope that people out there have recognized their labors and appreciated them and are willing to tell their friends about their books.

Dear reader, I am one of those authors. I have had a fairly productive year! I have produced good work! So, when you are marking your Hugo or Nebula ballot or what-have-you, please remember my name and these fine tales that I put out in the world.

It’s fun! It’s a quick read! It’ll make you laugh!

Novel: If Wishes Were Retail
Publisher: Tachyon

My humorous tale of a genie trying his hand at running a retail establishment in a mall and the mayhem that follows is a little bit Caddyshack, a little bit Aladdin, and a little bit social commentary. It includes something close to 2-3 jokes on every page, has gnomes wearing athletic socks for hats, and it involves a general strike against unfair labor practices.

Unlike much of my work, this actually got a teeny-tiny bit of buzz. It was an Editor’s Pick over at Amazon! Librarian’s loved it! I got a ton of awesome blurbs from people like Sarah Beth Durst and Daniel Pinkwater. I DARE YOU to nominate it!

 

Novelette: “In a Desolate Garden”

This is the cover!
(I did not make the cover)

Published in: Analog Science Fiction and Fact, September/October 2025 issue

This story is about the engram of a woman unhappily married to a trillionaire, suffering from depression after a miscarriage, and whose husband is offering to buy her an entire planet to be terraformed for their exclusive use. The trouble is, the planet is already occupied. This is a weird story about love and identity and discovering your own self-worth as well as being a first contact story, a story about uploading consciousness into machines, and about alternatives to human intelligence. I think it’s awesome.

I would say “go out and read it!” but it’s Analog, so…good luck with that. I’ll offer here this little excerpt, though:

She wanted to scream but didn’t feel it in her body the way she should. Didn’t feel that upswell of adrenaline and that brief moment of power before she unleashed it. She had always found screaming cathartic, but there seemed nothing to hold on to, nothing to moor her terror and frustrations.

“Why didn’t you just delete me, like the Barton engram?”

“In joining with what you call the Barton engram, I realized my error. You are not me.”

Claudia steadied herself by looking at the colorful alphabet on the wall. The letters flickered as she examined them. She closed her eyes which were not there, opened them again—at least, somehow, she could do that. “You weren’t self-aware, is what you’re saying? By eating the Barton engram, you became self-aware?”

“I was self-aware before your probe’s arrival. I was not aware of thinking things besides myself.” Not-Barton mimicked a smile, which somehow seemed more genuine than Barton’s actual smiles.

Barton smiled to get things. Barton smiled to work people in that way he did—a back slap, a good handshake, a quick joke. She used to marvel at how he would work a room of investors, have them trailing behind him like puppies, eager for his attention. Claudia liked to think she could coax the real thing out of him—Barton Song, grinning from the heart for once, out of love. She doubted all that now. Told him so a few years ago. It was maybe half the reason she—well, a copy of herself—was here now, talking to some computer program.

“What is going on?” not-Barton asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You are very noisy.”

I DOUBLE DARE YOU to nominate this novelette for a prize. Any prize.

It also has this kick-ass cover!

Story Collection: Faceless Galaxy
New Stories Contained: “Vestibular Dysfunctionality,” “Rates of Acceleration,” and “Infection
Vector” 
Publisher: JAB Books

I released a story collection this year, too! It’s a collection of all my Faceless stories published to date, featuring a violent and cynical little blob alien on its quest to murder people who deserve it in exchange for extravagant meals and a safe place to hide. It is a book full of weird aliens, bizarre landscapes, and neon-soaked dark alleys full of disreputable characters. I’ve been calling it “alien noir,” but you can call it cyberpunk-adjacent or dark space opera or whatever you like.

I know for a fact at least 6 (!) people have purchased and read this book, so its obvious I don’t need your help nominating it, but in case you are compelled, you cannot, in most cases, actually nominate whole story collections. You can, however, nominate some of the stories. Most of the stories here are previously published, but there are 3 brand new ones. They are:

  • “Vestibular Dysfunctionality” – short story (wherein Faceless is trapped on a boat on an ocean world with his quarry and has to plot his escape)
  • “Rates of Acceleration” – novelette (wherein Faceless impersonates the bodyguard to a death race contestant marked for assassination and catches some feelings)
  • “Infection Vector” – short story (wherein Faceless is contracted by a grieving mother to kill the bird-scientists who engineered a deadly plague)

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to nominate any or all of these stories on your awards ballots. There, see – now you have to do it. Everybody is watching. The whole internet.

Thank you for your attention to this matter! I now return you to your regularly scheduled internet dumpster fires.

Faceless Galaxy Launch Event – Sunday, October 5th!

At Pandemonium Books in Cambridge, MA! Register now!

My collection of linked short stories, Faceless Galaxy, follows the exploits of Faceless, a shape-shifting assassin from an enslaved species trying to find its way in a dark and amoral universe.  It’s got intrigue! Strange new worlds! Weird aliens! A gun that shoots bees! A planet full of hapless, colonized spiders. In short, it has EVERYTHING!

It also now has an official launch event!

Yes, I will be returning to Pandemonium Books and Games in Cambridge, MA on Sunday, October 5th, from 6:30-8:30pm! There will be an interview, a brief reading from the collection, and I’ll be signing books. This has the added advantage of being on a weekend – no need to rush out after a busy workday. Instead, roll yourselves down on a leisurely Sunday evening in October in Boston, when the weather is glorious (unless it rains), stroll through scenic Central Square (note: actual scenery may vary) and stop by the best damned scifi bookshop in the state to meet me, one of your favorite authors (note: actual favorite author may vary).

You can register here to save yourself a seat, but walk-ins are also welcome!

Not sure if Faceless Galaxy is your thing? Well, check this out:

Throughout the gutters and sanitation systems of the civilized galaxy, amorphous, nameless blobs called Torrhoids digest other species’ trash to clean air and water.

The Great Races don’t consider Torrhoids intelligent. But when one Torrhoid receives a baffling kindness, its curiosity ignites. The shapeshifter discovers it can mimic its overlords—not only their voices, but their forms and movements, too.

It can escape the prison planet where it is kept cold, hungry, and fighting for life. It can evade those who would throw it back into the sewers. With ingenuity, quick thinking, and the power of surprise, it can strike down even the oligarchs and influence traders who rule the galaxy. So begins the career of the assassin known only as “Faceless.”

Still learning the cultures of the beings it impersonates, testing the limits of its abilities, and evading revulsion for its natural form, Faceless is never far from detection and death. Ethics are a luxury it can ill afford.

But as the stories of this sharp, twisty cyberpunk collection prove, a gutter scavenger’s justice may still beat an empire’s.

Still not sure? Check out this excerpt over at FanFiAddict!

See you all at Pandemonium in about a month!

FACELESS GALAXY Releases TODAY!

Is this cover not AWESOME?

It’s August 5th, which means my linked short story collection, FACELESS GALAXY, is now free and in the wild!

What is Faceless Galaxy?

Here’s the back cover:

Gripping action, dark humor, and unlikely survival electrify this collection of the acclaimed Faceless cycle: seven previously published tales, and three all-new stories pitting a shapeshifting assassin’ s will against the most insurmountable challenges deep space has to offer…

Throughout the gutters and sanitation systems of the civilized galaxy, amorphous, nameless blobs called Torrhoids digest other species’ trash to clean air and water.

The Great Races don’ t consider Torrhoids intelligent. But when one Torrhoid receives a baffling kindness, its curiosity ignites. The shapeshifter discovers it can mimic its overlords— not only their voices, but their forms and movements, too.

It can escape the prison planet where it is kept cold, hungry, and fighting for life. It can evade those who would throw it back into the sewers. With ingenuity, quick thinking, and the power of surprise, it can strike down even the oligarchs and influence traders who rule the galaxy. So begins the career of the assassin known only as “ Faceless.”

Still learning the cultures of the beings it impersonates, testing the limits of its abilities, and evading revulsion for its natural form, Faceless is never far from detection and death. Ethics are a luxury it can ill afford.

But as the stories of this sharp, twisty cyberpunk collection prove, a gutter scavenger’ s justice may still beat an empire’ s.

Faceless Galaxy is a labor of love – a group of stories I’ve been writing and publishing over the last 10 years in various magazines (AnalogEscape Pod, Galaxy’s Edge) that I’ve finally collected together into one almost fix-up novel, plus 3 brand new stories exclusive to this collection and that fans of the Faceless Cycle will love.

This is being published through my agency (JABberwocky, who are awesome – Hi Joshua! Hi Lisa! Hi Christy!), which means it is more-or-less self published with the help of a couple talented people (see the preceding parentheses). What this means is less exposure (we are only 3 people!) and therefore, every little bit of word-of-mouth helps! Get the book, but also tell your friends!

If you like gritty space opera, this is for you! If you like cyberpunk, you’ll dig the vibes! If you like Murderbot, well, meet Murderbot’s surlier, slimier best friend! Also, they’re short stories–quick reads, in and one. One mission per story. Perfect for bite-sized reads during a train commute or in-between chores. Check it out!

Now, where to get it (not an exhaustive list):
Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Bookshop

Target

Walmart

And everywhere else fine books are sold (online). Maaaybe not too many books on bookstore shelves, but it is available Print-on-Demand, so you can order it through any bookstore you like!

Go a meet your new favorite shape-shifting assassin!

If Wishes Were Retail – Now On AUDIOBOOK!

Attention, audiophiles!

Download now!

My novel, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, is now available on audiobook! Very exciting!

Narrated by the very capable Brittany Goodwin, the book has a runtime of 7 hours and 36 minutes, which means I need to dig out 7 hours and 36 minutes somewhere to listen to it myself. You can download it wherever fine audiobooks are sold (I don’t actually know exactly where this is, as I don’t really do audiobooks myself) and get all the madcap mayhem of the book except in your ears instead of your eyes.

The two places I know to link to for this are Amazon and Barnes and Noble, so go and get it!


It’s like The Thing…from the point of view of The Thing.

Also, just a reminder that we are LESS THAN A MONTH away from the release of my linked short story collection, FACELESS GALAXY! It is a totally different kind of mayhem than the genie book, this one going for the dark and harrowing chaos of a galaxy without real laws, and one shapechanging blob trying to survive in the middle of it.

It’s still in preorders (and preorders are important for authors!), but in case you need some additional comps:

-It’s like Wiswell’s Someone to Build a Nest In, but with 500% more murder and 200% more laser guns.

-It’s like John Carpenter’s The Thing, but narrated from the point of view of The Thing, who happens to talk like Philip Marlowe from The Big Sleep. 

-It’s like the Mos Eisley Cantina in A New Hope, except Luke and Obi Wan never come in and we just hang with the weird aliens.

-It’s cyberpunk on other planets but with no humans and minimal computer hacking.

-Have you ever asked yourself “what if the Punisher was a blob of goo who loved knives?” Yeah…that.

Come See Me in Buffalo, THIS SATURDAY, 7/12/25!

Hey, friends!

I’m going to be out in Buffalo this coming weekend. Part of the time there I’ll be going to 6 Flags, and part of the time there I’ll be checking out Niagara Falls with the kids, and another part of the time I’ll

Come one, come all!

be seeing Weird Al in concert. But the rest of the time?

I’m going to be at Hallwalls Contemporary Arts Center at 7:30pm signing books and having a conversation with my friend and utterly fantastic author Ed Ashton, all courtesy of Talking Leaves Books!

I’m going to be plugging IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, my cozy comic fantasy about a genie selling books in a mall, and Ed will be talking about his latest scifi adventure, THE FOURTH CONSORT.

For those of you who don’t know Ed (and honestly, you should – he’s waaaay better known than I am!), he is the author of the novel Mickey 7 which was made into the movie Mickey 17 directed by Bong Joon-ho and starring Robert Pattinson. Ed is a brilliant guy (he’s helping cure cancer!) and a very nice person and such a good sport for coming out and doing this event with me, so please don’t embarrass me by having a lot of empty chairs! Come out and support the human beings making art and writing stories, and support the great indie bookstores like Talking Leaves by coming out to see two guys chatting about writing, fantasy, scifi, novels, comedy, and more! Plus we’ll be signing books!

So, see you at Hallwalls on 7/12, this Saturday evening, at 7:30!


ARCs now available on NetGalley and Edelweiss!

Don’t forget about Faceless Galaxy!

Just as a reminder, my linked short story collection, Faceless Galaxy, releases in a little more than a month! It’s available for preorder now, so go and pick it up!

The pitch:

Gripping action, dark humor, and unlikely survival electrify this collection of the acclaimed Faceless cycle: seven previously published tales, and three all-new stories pitting a shapeshifting assassin’s will against the most insurmountable challenges deep space has to offer…

Throughout the gutters and sanitation systems of the civilized galaxy, amorphous, nameless blobs called Torrhoids digest other species’ trash to clean air and water.

The Great Races don’t consider Torrhoids intelligent. But when one Torrhoid receives a baffling kindness, its curiosity ignites. The shapeshifter discovers it can mimic its overlords—not only their voices, but their forms and movements, too.

It can escape the prison planet where it is kept cold, hungry, and fighting for life. It can evade those who would throw it back into the sewers. With ingenuity, quick thinking, and the power of surprise, it can strike down even the oligarchs and influence traders who rule the galaxy. So begins the career of the assassin known only as “Faceless.”

Still learning the cultures of the beings it impersonates, testing the limits of its abilities, and evading revulsion for its natural form, Faceless is never far from detection and death. Ethics are a luxury it can ill afford.

But as the stories of this sharp, twisty cyberpunk collection prove, a gutter scavenger’s justice may still beat an empire’s.

In short, a very different thing than IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, but equally cool and very much worth your time. If you like my short fiction work in Analog, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, and elsewhere, you’ll like this, I promise!

FACELESS GALAXY now on NetGalley, Edelweiss

Big news, everyone!

While I am gearing up to the release of my upcoming novel, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, is about a month away from release (pre-order here!) and I’m VERY excited about the release event at Pandemonium Books and Games on June 17th, 2025, I want for a moment to plug my other release, coming this August.

ARCs now available on NetGalley and Edelweiss!

Faceless Galaxy

Throughout the gutters and sanitation systems of the civilized galaxy, amorphous, nameless blobs called Torrhoids digest other species’ trash to clean air and water.

The Great Races don’t consider Torrhoids intelligent. But when one Torrhoid receives a baffling kindness, its curiosity ignites. The shapeshifter discovers it can mimic its overlords—not only their voices, but their forms and movements, too.

It can escape the prison planet where it is kept cold, hungry, and fighting for life. It can evade those who would throw it back into the sewers. With ingenuity, quick thinking, and the power of surprise, it can strike down even the oligarchs and influence traders who rule the galaxy. So begins the career of the assassin known only as “Faceless.”

Still learning the cultures of the beings it impersonates, testing the limits of its abilities, and evading revulsion for its natural form, Faceless is never far from detection and death. Ethics are a luxury it can ill afford.

But as the stories of this sharp, twisty cyberpunk collection prove, a gutter scavenger’s justice may still beat an empire’s.

FACELESS GALAXY is the title of my upcoming short story collection, featuring 10 linked stories (7 reprints, 3 brand new) from my Faceless Cycle, which may remember from such places as Analog Science Fiction and Fact and other science fictional periodicals. Curious about it?

Well, as luck (sorry, artifice) would have it, you can listen to the first story for free over on EscapePod. Check out “Adaptation and Predation” here!

Now, if you liked that and would like the WHOLE BOOK as an Advance Reader Copy (ARC), you can get it now through NetGalley and Edelweiss.

Go, read! Leave a review! Tell me you loved it! Short fiction anthologies don’t sell that well, traditionally speaking, but this one is more like a fix-up novel, in which we follow Faceless on its adventures through the very formative years of its shape-shifting life. We all feel a little out of place, don’t we? Feel like the world doesn’t love us? Well, Faceless has got your back! It’s stabbing its way across an amoral universe and inviting you along! Pre-order now!

It’s available as an e-book or as a print on demand title!

In the Meantime

And while you’re waiting for Faceless and his murderous hijinks, take on some lighter fare in the form of my comic novel, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, which will be coming out in a few short weeks!

Look! They’re REAL!

Announcing FACELESS GALAXY! (Pre-orders available now!)

Okay, so first of all, you should already have heard about my novel coming out in June, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL. It’s a cozy-ish madcap comedy about a genie opening a shop selling wishes in a failing suburban mall and it is just so much fun and I’ll be plugging it like crazy for the rest of the year. Go and pre-order it now!

Now, that said, say “cozy madcap comedy/fantasy” isn’t your thing. Perhaps you found me after my work in Analog Science Fiction and Fact and are like “Habershaw, what’s with the genie stuff? We want dark, gritty scifi in outer space and such!” Well, friends, WELL…

The cover of the short story collection FACELESS GALAXY, by Auston Habershaw, featuring a mysterious, somewhat amorphous figure with no face stalking the dark streets of some alien world.

It’s coming out on August 5th!

That’s right! I have yet another project coming to print this year, and this one is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the other one. Is this a good idea? A bad idea? Will everyone get confused? I have no idea. It’s happening anyway!

Here’s the back cover for you:

Gripping action, dark humor, and unlikely survival electrify this collection of the acclaimed Faceless cycle: seven previously published tales, and three all-new stories pitting a shapeshifting assassin’s will against the most insurmountable challenges deep space has to offer…

Throughout the gutters and sanitation systems of the civilized galaxy, amorphous, nameless blobs called Torrhoids digest other species’ trash to clean air and water.

The Great Races don’t consider Torrhoids intelligent. But when one Torrhoid receives a baffling kindness, its curiosity ignites. The shapeshifter discovers it can mimic its overlords—not only their voices, but their forms and movements, too.

It can escape the prison planet where it is kept cold, hungry, and fighting for life. It can evade those who would throw it back into the sewers. With ingenuity, quick thinking, and the power of surprise, it can strike down even the oligarchs and influence traders who rule the galaxy. So begins the career of the assassin known only as “Faceless.”

Still learning the cultures of the beings it impersonates, testing the limits of its abilities, and evading revulsion for its natural form, Faceless is never far from detection and death. Ethics are a luxury it can ill afford.

But as the stories of this sharp, twisty cyberpunk collection prove, a gutter scavenger’s justice may still beat an empire’s.

This is a collection of 7 previously published stories (from AnalogEscape Pod, and Galaxy’s Edge) accompanied by 3 brand new ones all set in the dark and amoral Union of Stars, a starfaring civilization some hundreds of light years away from our own Earth, and a shapeshifting assassin making its way through the complexities of a society of a half-dozen alien species that don’t think it counts as a sentient being. It’s twisty and turny and brutal and sometimes funny and I think you will all love it!

It’s just gone up for pre-order, so hurry and reserve your copy of FACELESS GALAXY now, while functionally infinite supplies last!

You can pre-order it here:
Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Fu2MLo
I am enormously proud of this work and it represents years of writing, submitting, publishing, and thinking/worldbuilding. I hope you like it!

AND, if this isn’t your cup of tea, again I remind you that IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, the funny contemporary fantasy, is ALSO available for pre-order, and if you don’t like scifi or violence, you will probably love that one. Get it HERE!

Or, you know, if you just like fun stories that metaphorically cope with the hellscape of modern late-stage capitalism, then maybe get both! Yes, both.

My Awards Eligibility for 2024

It’s that time of year again, when writers of all stripes start dusting off their resumes and start putting out the word that yes, indeed, they did publish things this year and that YES, in fact, we’d love to be considered for any awards or recognition you’d like to throw our way – Hugo nominations, Nebula nods, Dragoncon recognition, book club invitations, obscure internet badges, WHATEVER IT MAY BE!

I am one of those writers! And though I know the odds of me, a relatively unknown writer with a fairly small following, getting enough people interested in my work to bother filling out an internet form and vaulting myself to fame are pretty unlikely, hope springs eternal for the hard-working author, and here is what I managed to publish this past year. All of them are good work! I recommend checking them out and, if possible, supporting the publications that put them out (and therefore the editors and staff).

“Brood Parasitism”
Analog Science Fiction and Fact, March 2024
Short Story

Another in my series of linked shorts about the shape-shifting assassin Faceless and its adventures in the far-flung Union of Stars.

Excerpt:

She was right about that part. Most assassination jobs were public—had to be, really. If an organization hired an assassin, they announced that they’d done so. They even had to announce who they were planning to have killed. Only the assassin’s name was kept out of it. This was something that was part of the tradition—part of the code we assassins lived by. It kept us from being the target of revenge, you see. It wasn’t us who killed you, it was our employers. We were just tools. Weapons, like any other. No remorse, but no rancor, either.

That was how I felt, anyway, before I watched the city I’d lived in for years scream and die in five minutes of pure terror.

Now?

Let’s just say there was some rancor involved.

 

And the cover art is inspired by my story!

“The Puzzle Vault”
Baubles from Bones, Issue #2, September, 2024
Novelette

This is a story that had been shortlisted for the Baen Fantasy Adventure Award many years back, but which finally made print in this new magazine dedicated to cool fantastic fiction. This story is a favorite of mine and I feel it deserves a lot of love. Please check it out!

Excerpt:

“What can we expect tomorrow? I have heard so much and yet so little about the Vault. What can you tell me?”

The flute fell silent. Beatriz looked across the fire at the other men. They were all listening now. “It is hard to explain. I can tell you that most of you will probably die, and those of you that live will blame me for what happens to the others.”

“Why? What is so fiendish that guards the treasure?” Santuva gestured towards his saddlebags. “I have antispell, wards, talismans, weapons—what could it be?”

Beatriz closed her eyes. She could picture the Vault clearly, as though it were etched in her eyelids. “The warlock king who devised the Puzzle Vault knew his enemies would seek to plunder his treasures with sorcery and brute force, so he devised a trap that uses no sorcery and cannot be overcome by force of arms. Within is a lion’s head. One of you must put your arm inside the lion’s mouth. This will open the shaft leading down to the maze and, beyond that, the treasure vault itself, but the man who puts his arm in will be trapped. Those of you who descend will have exactly three minutes to solve the maze, enter the vault, pillage what you can, and return.”

“And the man who puts his arm in? What happens to him?” The Illini asked.

Beatriz opened her eyes. “He dies.”

 

“Things Lost Forever”
Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Issue #419, October 2024
Novelette

This one, in the always fantastic BCS, was the result of me wondering how all those fearsome chairs of skulls and what-not get built, and resulted in this story about a woodworker living in a city ruled by vampires. You can even read it online for free (a rarity for my work, for some reason)!

Excerpt:

“It will need skulls on the armrests—fresh ones, mind you, not some yellowing, brittle things you drag out of the sewer.”

Lucas flinched as the dread vampire Adelard, one of the Harvest Lords of L’Ombre, snapped a piece of parchment taut before his eyes and those of the two other mortals kneeling in his throne room.

The parchment had an illustration of a chair on it—high-backed and forbidding, with iron spikes and bladed edges and the aforementioned skulls as armrests. Lucas got the barest glimpse of it in the flickering candlelight and did his best to commit it to memory. No doubt the terrified men kneeling on either side of him did the same.

“The chair must be menacing, you understand? This is to be my throne when I assume my new post. When I sit in it, I must appear… appear… ehhh…”

The young man next to Lucas—a furniture maker from the Chanceries named Hubert—spoke up. “Imperious, my lord?”

Adelard’s hand flashed like a blade, and Hubert crumpled to the ground, mouth open in a silent “o.” The vampire lord paused, looking down at his work, considering. “Hmmm… yes. Imperious. I suppose.”

 

“That Far Uncharted Ocean”

My name even made the cover!

Analog Science Fiction and Fact, November 2024
Novelette

This is my longest published story to date, about a USCG officer sent to a distant planet to help some alien snails (Thraad, for fans of the Faceless stories) win a sailing race on an ocean planet. Sort of like Project Hail Mary meets White Squall. It’s about sailing and first contact and technological and cultural blind-spots, and it’s a pretty good time!

Excerpt:

…that door—the door I was never, under any circumstances, sup-posed to open—opened all by itself. The aliens, it turned out, didn’t know about knocking.

I was mid-run at the time. I was so shocked at the sudden change in air pressure that I messed up my rhythm and fell right off the treadmill and smacked into the base of my bed. I wasn’t wearing my uniform. Hell, I wasn’t wearing much of anything at all—just my underpants and my running shoes—so I spent the next three seconds trying to sort out my NASA jumpsuit, which was hanging in my closet but had fallen down when I hit the wall and was now in an irritating little ball that would not sort itself out. It was in that state—me, sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to get a zipper to unzip, still panting and sweating and pale as the day I was born—when I met my first alien.

It looked like a snail. A huge, meaty snail about the size of a postal mailbox with a colorful, lacquered shell and a yellowish-green, slimy head poking out of one end. The head had two big, unblinking eyes on the end of long, muscular stalks, a wide, flat mouth, and a set of four tentacles arranged sort of like a beard beneath that mouth. It was creepy, for sure, but not half as creepy as the guys in NASA had anticipated, judging how long they’d spent telling me not to flinch and then showing me pictures of hideously deformed creatures with compound eyes and bloody fangs and skeletons on the outside of their body and stuff.

The alien stood there in the doorway for a second, a dim green corridor behind it, looking all around my living quarters with its weird little eyestalks. The eyes moved independently of each other, so this thing could look me in the face while checking out all my stuff simultaneously. It didn’t speak. Neither did I, for a second.

My training—drilled into my head for months leading up to this mission—finally kicked in. I stood up, still in my underpants, and “affected positive body language” by showing the palms of my hands and slowly waving one in an exaggerated “hello.” “Greetings! I am Lieutenant Commander Amos Tambly of Earth. I come in peace!”

The alien’s chin-tentacles adjusted some little box that was on a kind of lanyard around its neck, and then it opened its mouth and started croaking at me. The box, though, chirped out words in perfect English. “How did you know?”

Of all the dozens of potential responses I had been taught to expect, this was not one of them. “I . . . uhhh . . . what?”

Well, that’s it! I swore I was expecting others, but a couple things fell through this year, so this is all you’ve got of my work with which to shower me with praise. Go forth and nominate! (And thank you very very much for reading and liking my work!)

ZNB Kickstarter and Faceless Galaxy Giveaway!

Hey, everybody!

Back it now! Get cool stuff AND my new story collection!

As mentioned in a previous post, Zombies Need Brains is kickstarting a new set of themed anthologies in a matter of a few days. I’m one of the anchoring authors for one of the anthologies, titled WERE-2, which will be full of stories about were-creatures that aren’t run-of-the-mill werewolves.

BUT

While these anthologies are worth the price of backing all on their own, there is a new incentive to get the anthology. If the kickstarter funds, every backer who backed before it hit $27K will get an advance e-copy of my short story collection, FACELESS GALAXY.

FACELESS GALAXY is a collection of 10 linked novelettes (think “long short stories) about a shape-shifting assassin living in a distant, dark, and amoral interstellar society. For a genre, I guess it would best be described as space opera noir; I’ve been comparing it to something along the lines of Sapkowski’s The Last Wish (the first Witcher collection) crossed with the denizens of the Mos Eisley Cantina. Seven of these stories have been previously published, mostly in Analog, but a couple elsewhere. Three are brand new to the collection, so if you’ve enjoyed my stories in Analog, you’ll want this one.

This isn’t out yet. The collection doesn’t release to the general public until late summer 2025, so early backers to ZNB will get early and EXCLUSIVE access to this collection (and, hey, if you like it, leave a review on Goodreads or somewhere!).

So, to review: Back ZNB, get cool stories about were-creatures and pirates, and then ALSO get cool stories about a shape-shifting professional assassin (with self-esteem issues) in space.

Kickstarter starts in a matter of days – you know what to do!

New Story Alert: Read “Brood Parasitism” in Mar/Apr 2024 Analog!

Hey there!

Exciting news, everyone! I’ve got a new story out in this month’s Analog Science Fiction and Fact.

Titled “Brood Parasitism,” this is the seventh published story featuring Faceless, the shapeshifting assassin, in the bleak, amoral landscape of the Union of Stars. If you like Faceless, or even just like unique and unusual aliens in your short fiction, then this story is for you. In it, Faceless has taken a contract against a Lhassa patriarch on behalf of his employers, who are already dead at the patriarch’s hands. Check it out!

This is my 5th Faceless story in Analog and my 7th publication with them overall. Years ago, when I got that first acceptance letter from this venerable, respectable, BIG DEAL of a magazine (it was once Astounding – the granddaddy of all SF short fiction magazines!), I never thought I’d see my name consistently on the table of contents, but here we are. I even have another one coming from Analog later this year (“That Far Uncharted Ocean” – look for it!).

My first sale there (“Mercy, Killer,” about an AI serial killer that only kills other AIs) I felt like was a bit of a fluke, mostly because I didn’t really consider myself a “short story” author, but rather a novelist. But here I am, about 12 years later or so, with a lot more short fiction to brag about than novels. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still hard at work on novels and hope to have something to report to you all very soon – but it’s funny that my career has veered from writing epic fantasy to publishing space opera in the world premier hard SF venue.

Anyway, you can find the magazine in most Barnes and Noble bookstores (and a lot of indie bookstores as well, if they have a solid magazine rack) and you can purchase subscriptions through their website (linked above) if you’re really interested in SF in a very old-school, very Project: Hail Mary kind of way.

Happy reading!