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My 2025 Awards Eligibility!
Christmas, the season of hope.
Across the land, the Nebulas are dusting off their shelves, and the Hugo Awards are awakening from their year-long slumber, and writers everywhere are beginning to remember that, yes, they did write things during this awful year and yes they DO deserve awards for this! And so they scurry off to their newsletters and their barren blogospheres and their half-assed websites and write posts like this one, in the slim hope that people out there have recognized their labors and appreciated them and are willing to tell their friends about their books.
Dear reader, I am one of those authors. I have had a fairly productive year! I have produced good work! So, when you are marking your Hugo or Nebula ballot or what-have-you, please remember my name and these fine tales that I put out in the world.
Novel: If Wishes Were Retail
Publisher: Tachyon
My humorous tale of a genie trying his hand at running a retail establishment in a mall and the mayhem that follows is a little bit Caddyshack, a little bit Aladdin, and a little bit social commentary. It includes something close to 2-3 jokes on every page, has gnomes wearing athletic socks for hats, and it involves a general strike against unfair labor practices.
Unlike much of my work, this actually got a teeny-tiny bit of buzz. It was an Editor’s Pick over at Amazon! Librarian’s loved it! I got a ton of awesome blurbs from people like Sarah Beth Durst and Daniel Pinkwater. I DARE YOU to nominate it!
Novelette: “In a Desolate Garden”
Published in: Analog Science Fiction and Fact, September/October 2025 issue
This story is about the engram of a woman unhappily married to a trillionaire, suffering from depression after a miscarriage, and whose husband is offering to buy her an entire planet to be terraformed for their exclusive use. The trouble is, the planet is already occupied. This is a weird story about love and identity and discovering your own self-worth as well as being a first contact story, a story about uploading consciousness into machines, and about alternatives to human intelligence. I think it’s awesome.
I would say “go out and read it!” but it’s Analog, so…good luck with that. I’ll offer here this little excerpt, though:
She wanted to scream but didn’t feel it in her body the way she should. Didn’t feel that upswell of adrenaline and that brief moment of power before she unleashed it. She had always found screaming cathartic, but there seemed nothing to hold on to, nothing to moor her terror and frustrations.
“Why didn’t you just delete me, like the Barton engram?”
“In joining with what you call the Barton engram, I realized my error. You are not me.”
Claudia steadied herself by looking at the colorful alphabet on the wall. The letters flickered as she examined them. She closed her eyes which were not there, opened them again—at least, somehow, she could do that. “You weren’t self-aware, is what you’re saying? By eating the Barton engram, you became self-aware?”
“I was self-aware before your probe’s arrival. I was not aware of thinking things besides myself.” Not-Barton mimicked a smile, which somehow seemed more genuine than Barton’s actual smiles.
Barton smiled to get things. Barton smiled to work people in that way he did—a back slap, a good handshake, a quick joke. She used to marvel at how he would work a room of investors, have them trailing behind him like puppies, eager for his attention. Claudia liked to think she could coax the real thing out of him—Barton Song, grinning from the heart for once, out of love. She doubted all that now. Told him so a few years ago. It was maybe half the reason she—well, a copy of herself—was here now, talking to some computer program.
“What is going on?” not-Barton asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You are very noisy.”
I DOUBLE DARE YOU to nominate this novelette for a prize. Any prize.
Story Collection: Faceless Galaxy
New Stories Contained: “Vestibular Dysfunctionality,” “Rates of Acceleration,” and “Infection Vector”
Publisher: JAB Books
I released a story collection this year, too! It’s a collection of all my Faceless stories published to date, featuring a violent and cynical little blob alien on its quest to murder people who deserve it in exchange for extravagant meals and a safe place to hide. It is a book full of weird aliens, bizarre landscapes, and neon-soaked dark alleys full of disreputable characters. I’ve been calling it “alien noir,” but you can call it cyberpunk-adjacent or dark space opera or whatever you like.
I know for a fact at least 6 (!) people have purchased and read this book, so its obvious I don’t need your help nominating it, but in case you are compelled, you cannot, in most cases, actually nominate whole story collections. You can, however, nominate some of the stories. Most of the stories here are previously published, but there are 3 brand new ones. They are:
- “Vestibular Dysfunctionality” – short story (wherein Faceless is trapped on a boat on an ocean world with his quarry and has to plot his escape)
- “Rates of Acceleration” – novelette (wherein Faceless impersonates the bodyguard to a death race contestant marked for assassination and catches some feelings)
- “Infection Vector” – short story (wherein Faceless is contracted by a grieving mother to kill the bird-scientists who engineered a deadly plague)
I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU to nominate any or all of these stories on your awards ballots. There, see – now you have to do it. Everybody is watching. The whole internet.
Thank you for your attention to this matter! I now return you to your regularly scheduled internet dumpster fires.
If Wishes Were Retail – Now On AUDIOBOOK!
Attention, audiophiles!
My novel, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, is now available on audiobook! Very exciting!
Narrated by the very capable Brittany Goodwin, the book has a runtime of 7 hours and 36 minutes, which means I need to dig out 7 hours and 36 minutes somewhere to listen to it myself. You can download it wherever fine audiobooks are sold (I don’t actually know exactly where this is, as I don’t really do audiobooks myself) and get all the madcap mayhem of the book except in your ears instead of your eyes.
The two places I know to link to for this are Amazon and Barnes and Noble, so go and get it!
Also, just a reminder that we are LESS THAN A MONTH away from the release of my linked short story collection, FACELESS GALAXY! It is a totally different kind of mayhem than the genie book, this one going for the dark and harrowing chaos of a galaxy without real laws, and one shapechanging blob trying to survive in the middle of it.
It’s still in preorders (and preorders are important for authors!), but in case you need some additional comps:
-It’s like Wiswell’s Someone to Build a Nest In, but with 500% more murder and 200% more laser guns.
-It’s like John Carpenter’s The Thing, but narrated from the point of view of The Thing, who happens to talk like Philip Marlowe from The Big Sleep.
-It’s like the Mos Eisley Cantina in A New Hope, except Luke and Obi Wan never come in and we just hang with the weird aliens.
-It’s cyberpunk on other planets but with no humans and minimal computer hacking.
-Have you ever asked yourself “what if the Punisher was a blob of goo who loved knives?” Yeah…that.
Come See Me in Buffalo, THIS SATURDAY, 7/12/25!
Hey, friends!
I’m going to be out in Buffalo this coming weekend. Part of the time there I’ll be going to 6 Flags, and part of the time there I’ll be checking out Niagara Falls with the kids, and another part of the time I’ll
be seeing Weird Al in concert. But the rest of the time?
I’m going to be at Hallwalls Contemporary Arts Center at 7:30pm signing books and having a conversation with my friend and utterly fantastic author Ed Ashton, all courtesy of Talking Leaves Books!
I’m going to be plugging IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, my cozy comic fantasy about a genie selling books in a mall, and Ed will be talking about his latest scifi adventure, THE FOURTH CONSORT.
For those of you who don’t know Ed (and honestly, you should – he’s waaaay better known than I am!), he is the author of the novel Mickey 7 which was made into the movie Mickey 17 directed by Bong Joon-ho and starring Robert Pattinson. Ed is a brilliant guy (he’s helping cure cancer!) and a very nice person and such a good sport for coming out and doing this event with me, so please don’t embarrass me by having a lot of empty chairs! Come out and support the human beings making art and writing stories, and support the great indie bookstores like Talking Leaves by coming out to see two guys chatting about writing, fantasy, scifi, novels, comedy, and more! Plus we’ll be signing books!
So, see you at Hallwalls on 7/12, this Saturday evening, at 7:30!

ARCs now available on NetGalley and Edelweiss!
Don’t forget about Faceless Galaxy!
Just as a reminder, my linked short story collection, Faceless Galaxy, releases in a little more than a month! It’s available for preorder now, so go and pick it up!
The pitch:
FACELESS GALAXY now on NetGalley, Edelweiss
Big news, everyone!
While I am gearing up to the release of my upcoming novel, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, is about a month away from release (pre-order here!) and I’m VERY excited about the release event at Pandemonium Books and Games on June 17th, 2025, I want for a moment to plug my other release, coming this August.
Faceless Galaxy
Throughout the gutters and sanitation systems of the civilized galaxy, amorphous, nameless blobs called Torrhoids digest other species’ trash to clean air and water.
The Great Races don’t consider Torrhoids intelligent. But when one Torrhoid receives a baffling kindness, its curiosity ignites. The shapeshifter discovers it can mimic its overlords—not only their voices, but their forms and movements, too.
It can escape the prison planet where it is kept cold, hungry, and fighting for life. It can evade those who would throw it back into the sewers. With ingenuity, quick thinking, and the power of surprise, it can strike down even the oligarchs and influence traders who rule the galaxy. So begins the career of the assassin known only as “Faceless.”
Still learning the cultures of the beings it impersonates, testing the limits of its abilities, and evading revulsion for its natural form, Faceless is never far from detection and death. Ethics are a luxury it can ill afford.
But as the stories of this sharp, twisty cyberpunk collection prove, a gutter scavenger’s justice may still beat an empire’s.
FACELESS GALAXY is the title of my upcoming short story collection, featuring 10 linked stories (7 reprints, 3 brand new) from my Faceless Cycle, which may remember from such places as Analog Science Fiction and Fact and other science fictional periodicals. Curious about it?
Well, as luck (sorry, artifice) would have it, you can listen to the first story for free over on EscapePod. Check out “Adaptation and Predation” here!
Now, if you liked that and would like the WHOLE BOOK as an Advance Reader Copy (ARC), you can get it now through NetGalley and Edelweiss.
Go, read! Leave a review! Tell me you loved it! Short fiction anthologies don’t sell that well, traditionally speaking, but this one is more like a fix-up novel, in which we follow Faceless on its adventures through the very formative years of its shape-shifting life. We all feel a little out of place, don’t we? Feel like the world doesn’t love us? Well, Faceless has got your back! It’s stabbing its way across an amoral universe and inviting you along! Pre-order now!
It’s available as an e-book or as a print on demand title!
In the Meantime
And while you’re waiting for Faceless and his murderous hijinks, take on some lighter fare in the form of my comic novel, IF WISHES WERE RETAIL, which will be coming out in a few short weeks!
ZNB Kickstarter and Faceless Galaxy Giveaway!
Hey, everybody!
As mentioned in a previous post, Zombies Need Brains is kickstarting a new set of themed anthologies in a matter of a few days. I’m one of the anchoring authors for one of the anthologies, titled WERE-2, which will be full of stories about were-creatures that aren’t run-of-the-mill werewolves.
BUT
While these anthologies are worth the price of backing all on their own, there is a new incentive to get the anthology. If the kickstarter funds, every backer who backed before it hit $27K will get an advance e-copy of my short story collection, FACELESS GALAXY.
FACELESS GALAXY is a collection of 10 linked novelettes (think “long short stories) about a shape-shifting assassin living in a distant, dark, and amoral interstellar society. For a genre, I guess it would best be described as space opera noir; I’ve been comparing it to something along the lines of Sapkowski’s The Last Wish (the first Witcher collection) crossed with the denizens of the Mos Eisley Cantina. Seven of these stories have been previously published, mostly in Analog, but a couple elsewhere. Three are brand new to the collection, so if you’ve enjoyed my stories in Analog, you’ll want this one.
This isn’t out yet. The collection doesn’t release to the general public until late summer 2025, so early backers to ZNB will get early and EXCLUSIVE access to this collection (and, hey, if you like it, leave a review on Goodreads or somewhere!).
So, to review: Back ZNB, get cool stories about were-creatures and pirates, and then ALSO get cool stories about a shape-shifting professional assassin (with self-esteem issues) in space.
Kickstarter starts in a matter of days – you know what to do!
New Story Alert: Read “Brood Parasitism” in Mar/Apr 2024 Analog!
Hey there!
Exciting news, everyone! I’ve got a new story out in this month’s Analog Science Fiction and Fact.
Titled “Brood Parasitism,” this is the seventh published story featuring Faceless, the shapeshifting assassin, in the bleak, amoral landscape of the Union of Stars. If you like Faceless, or even just like unique and unusual aliens in your short fiction, then this story is for you. In it, Faceless has taken a contract against a Lhassa patriarch on behalf of his employers, who are already dead at the patriarch’s hands. Check it out!
This is my 5th Faceless story in Analog and my 7th publication with them overall. Years ago, when I got that first acceptance letter from this venerable, respectable, BIG DEAL of a magazine (it was once Astounding – the granddaddy of all SF short fiction magazines!), I never thought I’d see my name consistently on the table of contents, but here we are. I even have another one coming from Analog later this year (“That Far Uncharted Ocean” – look for it!).
My first sale there (“Mercy, Killer,” about an AI serial killer that only kills other AIs) I felt like was a bit of a fluke, mostly because I didn’t really consider myself a “short story” author, but rather a novelist. But here I am, about 12 years later or so, with a lot more short fiction to brag about than novels. Don’t get me wrong – I’m still hard at work on novels and hope to have something to report to you all very soon – but it’s funny that my career has veered from writing epic fantasy to publishing space opera in the world premier hard SF venue.
Anyway, you can find the magazine in most Barnes and Noble bookstores (and a lot of indie bookstores as well, if they have a solid magazine rack) and you can purchase subscriptions through their website (linked above) if you’re really interested in SF in a very old-school, very Project: Hail Mary kind of way.
Happy reading!

















