21 DPO results

I''ve gotten zero work done today, I'm truly a disgrace. Just got this in, after badgering my amazing endocrinologist, who thankfully, does not mind being badgered. Seriously, If you live in NYC, and can go here, then pick Dr. Robert Lind as your endocrinologist, if you need one. 

21 DPO values
Beta HCG =2486.5 (doubling time of 32.66 hours from 17 DPO)
Progesterone = 28.2  (slightly worrisome, but it does seem to yo-yo, different from the first two, but I've thankfully stopped trying to interpret things).

I have not started Crinone yet (have not even picked up my prescription). Right now, I'm taking the call to go au naturel all the way. Also FYI, for now, I've dropped my vitamin D dosing too. Previously, I'd take 2000 IU every night, with 1000 IU in my prenatal. Now, I take 2000 IU every other day, and 1000 IU (in prenatal) daily.  I've not yet checked my vitamin D, because it requires a walk to Labcorp, and my veins are just too poked and prodded.

Today is also a day of BIG decisions. My housing is provided (or rather, subsidized) by my work, and I just found out that moveouts can only be at the end of the calendar month. So I can stay here till August 31st, or I can stay till the end of July.

Right now, for my own sanity, I'm picking the end of July. But having made that decision (I have not even told my boss yet, he is away on vacation), I'm starting to freak out. OMG. A brand new country. A totally different way of life. A new healthcare system. ACK!

I've started investigating medical care in India. If I go back around week 9, then I have to be bloody darned sure that the kind of prenatal testing I want, is available there. If anybody visiting this blog has gone through a pregnancy in India (or had one for say, your surrogate), I'd appreciate it if you could chime in.One thing sticks out, I want to have Sequenom's Tri21plus blood test done. Calling them now for information, will update.

This is the information I got after talking to a Genetics Counselor at Sequenom:

• The test (which checks cell free fetal DNA in the maternal blood for Trisomies 13,18 and 21)  can only be done if the blood is mailed in from a US location. Interestingly, she bought up that a company in Hong Kong now offers a similar test. Tried to dig, but could not find it.
• It can be done at the earliest of 10 weeks of pregnancy. You need to be 'high risk' to qualify at Sequenom, less they mess up their false positive/false negative rates: Criteria: advanced maternal age, evidence of an earlier trisomy in a previous pregnancy, or any abnormalities showing up in a screening test.
• She did chime in that while previously only high risk people were getting referred, they are now starting to hear from 'patients like yourself'-- she was too polite to say 'paranoid as hell'. In a while, this may change sequenom policies (globs and globs of dollars waiting to be made) but right now, the  policy above stands.

I was mentally pushing back my departure date to the end of August when she bought up the criteria. Right now, I don't qualify (which is a good thing, really). But she said she would talk to her boss to see if my earlier Turners (Monosomy  45X) qualifies me. Waiting to hear back.

17 DPO results

I'm literally sitting and physically shaking with releif here. First, my home HPTs finally got darker yesterday evening, giving me some peace of mind and the ability to go out for a friends birthday party,in a Beer Garden of all places, where I spent the evening trying to dodge plumes of cigarette smoke (ARGH) while enjoying a spectacular outdoor view of South Manhattan.

Today's blood work

Beta = 324 (up from 137, doubling time of  38.65 hours)
Progesterone = 33.5 ng/ml (going in the right direction)

Right now, I'm holding off the Crinone (have not started it).  This news will hopefully tide me over this weekend. Sadly, my cousin cancelled her trip now and rescheduled for the weekend of the 14th, where I will be probably be going in for U/S # 1. I really want her visit to be a fun one, but she has been warned of the possible circumstances if things go south.

I have several pregnancy related superstitions from past experience a) I will feel reassured and relaxed before shit hits the fan, I'll never see the blow coming and b) I always receive horrible news before a holiday (my last 2 miscarriages were like 2 days before the 4th of July and Thanksgiving weekends, respectively). The only big holiday on the horizon is the 4th of July, so lets hope for a good beta on Tuesday.

Let us pray that neither comes to pass, and things actually work. I'll believe it when I see it, but now, I can heave a beautiful, heartfelt sigh of releif. 

15 DPO values in

I went in for a blood draw at 45.5 hours exactly.

Progesterone = 23.4 (fallen just a little from the last time)
Beta = 137

Last time was 71, so its almost doubled ( I plugged it into beta base, it gives a doubling time of 48.51). The median doubling time for this range on the betabase is 37.28 hours, so I'm below average here.

In other words, I'm not reassured, the only thing keeping me off the metaphorical ledge is the study I found. But it scares the crap out of me that the progesterone is falling, not rising.

This is what I'm going to do- I'll ask for supplemental progesterone (Suppositories, not PIO). Then, I'm stopping all blood tests till next Tuesday, which will be 21 DPO. I want to have a normal few days and I wont be able to if I'm constantly obsessing and worrying myself sick about this.

This can play out three ways (two of which are very bad indeed) and the 3rd is a happy outcome.

I pray its door # 3, but my plan is not to obsess and nitpick (wish me luck with that!). I'll know when I know.

In which science makes me feel better

The first thing I did after getting my results back, was google vitamin D and beta (HCG). Unfortunately I used Google Scholar, which pulled up irrelevant papers(with the most citations first). Today, I used pubmed, and I found something that makes me feel a 100 times better- it was exactly what I was looking for. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2245969/?tool=pubmed

Its this study, which basically shows that increasing concentrations of vitamin D directly downregulate Beta-HCG expression over long periods (24 hours) of exposure in cultured human placental trophoblasts.  More the vitamin D, more the inhibition. Interestingly, what the article also quotes is a study which shows that HCG is higher in women with pre-eclampsia, and of course such women tend to have lower blood vitamin D levels.

I know vitamin D is a hormone with a finger in about 3000 + pies, I'm glad to see that it may be in play here, whatever biological weirdness ensures, I can blame it on the increased D and feel better.

Because, right now, that is the bottom line-- I need to feel ok. By whatever means possible. This pregnancy will go however it is destined to go, but right now, I just want MY head not to be messed up.  My cousin is coming down this weekend, I want to be able to run around town with her, just be happy. Please, Universe, if that is not too much to ask for.

Off for repeat beta in around an hour. Lets hope I get the results today, and that it shows doubling.

feeling slightly more steady

Thank you all for your support. I honestly don't know what I'd do without this medium to vent in. I came home early from work, have been completely messed up the entire day, and hope that one day, I can look back at this and laugh at how alarmist I was. Really. 

A lot of you commented on maybe how being different from my earlier pregnancies might be a good thing. I'd want to see it that way, but the issue is, its kind of hard to imagine where lower progesterone levels might signify a better outcome. I know a lot in my physiology has changed after taking vitamin D (you change the levels of something that regulates over 3000 genes(to date) in your body, that is bound to happen), but its super confusing as well--- I've never tested progesterone since I got vitamin D replete, but a number of progesterone- related changes occured after I became replete- My luteal phages got significantly longer, my breast tenderness was very significantly increased overall, all of which you would assume was linked to higher progesterone blood levels. Instead,  the very first progesterone blood test I do (this one) shows the opposite of what one would assume, levels of this hormone are lower (!!). Oh, how I hate thee, biology.

About the beta- its not like my beta levels in the first 2 failed pregnacies were abnormally high, they were higher than around 80-90 % of all reported singleton pregnancies reported in betabase. And this fits with what other women who used my donor told me- thier early betas were very high too(and both of them went on to have perfect pregnancies)- I assumed its a donor related thing, maybe his gene set comes with an extremely strong promoter for the beta-HCG gene. I read somewhere that differences in gene promoter strength can account for the vast variation you see among different people. Either way, what I'm trying to say is, the high HCG's were not indicative of any issue, whatever the issue was in my 2 pregnancies, it was something that manifested much later (for example, pregnancy # 2, which had practically the same betas as pregnancy # 1, ended because of a genetic abnormaility). Both progressed perfectly till around the 7 week mark, and pregnancy # 2 looked textbook perfect till the 8.5 week mark.

So right now, I cannot help but look at my lowish, just above average beta and think that its an indication of something being wrong. The doubling should tell us something,I'm going in for a blood test tomorrow around 1-2 - which should be around 46-47 hours.

I can deal with things going wrong in any single instance. But, when it comes down to it, a) the question of what the hell is wrong with me and b) can it ever be fixed is what really messes up my equilibrium. But after reading around a 1000 stories of infertility and rainbows, intellectually, I know this: we may be in for a horribly long road, but somewhere, down the line, at some point, things actually go right.  You just need bucket loads of patience, and about a truckload worth of Kleenex.

And the fear is back (beta # 1)

I just heard from the nurse
Estrogen = 274
Beta = 71
Progesterone = 25.7

These are 13 DPO values. While both (progesterone and beta) both fall bang in the middle of the normal range, they are WAY lower than my other 2 pregnancies.

Last time: second pregnancy :15 DPO
beta = 457
Progesterone = 45

I also managed to dig up the values for my first pregnancy : 11 DPO
Beta = 50
Progesterone = 36

So, I'm not feeling good at all. All 3 pregnancies, based on when I got the first positive  pregnancy test (-ve in the morning of 10 DPO, positive by afternoon), implanted at the same time. Nonetheless, the beta values (and the progesterone too) for this round are significantly lower than the last 2 times. I'm going to ask for progesterone suppositories and pray that is not a terrible idea, because the last thing one wants to do, is encourage an ectopic or a pregnancy doomed by dragging it out.

If anybody feels like I'm being an idiot (I very well may be, given that these values are considered normal), feel free to point that out.

bloodwork part 1

The best idea I ever had was to start a blog during this process. When you get results back, you WANT to share, but who really is willing to listen? Nobody other than you guys and I love you all for it!

18 DPO beta- 1702 (last time was 2500 at 19 DPO, so sounds about the same)

See the  betabase link for that day.

The rest is horribly technical but I'm sad to say too many of the people reading will actually be able to interpret these values easily,  oh for those days of blissful ignorance.

TSH- 0.4!! (nosedived from 2.86- its quite a dive down, but I guess I'm not hyperthyroid yet)
T4- 10.5 (close to upper limit of the normal range)
Lupus anti-coagulant DRVVT test ratio is 1.07- the same down to the decimal point as last time 5 weeks ago! You are considered positive for Lupus anti-coagulant (scary stuff highly likely to kill your baby) if your ratio is 1.2 or above, from this lab.


If I were a betting woman, I'd say the cardiolipin IgG value will come back as the same, which will probably get me put on aspirin. God knows what any of this means anymore.

I told my mother I was pregnant (I can never keep anything from her long) and she was 'not surprised'. She kept telling me not to be negative- man, I have to say, the pressure to 'stay positive' is itself stress inducing.

Bloodwork Results

To cut a long story short, I had my test for beta and progesterone yesterday, which is 15 DPO- beta is 457 and progesterone is at 46.9.  Both levels look fine, a quick check on the betabase for my day was very reassuring. My beta in the first pregnancy was probably a tad bit higher (17 DPO was 1180) , and my progesterone was a touch lower (42 ng/ml at 17 DPO), but all of it looks good overall.

The best part about this pregnancy so far is the difference in BBT charts from the last time.

The last time, at 12 DPO, inexplicably, my temperature started to plummet, coming down to the pre-ovulatory range in 2 days and staying there. When that happened, that fertility friend software actually removed the green line indicating pregnancy.  I still have no idea why this happened- I had checked progesterone and that was fine, and the pregnancy progressed normally for maybe another 5 weeks.

This time, my luteal phase chart looks completely different and my temperatures have stayed in the peak luteal range!  Such a little thing, but so nice to see. I'm also not cold like I was the last time. Your body is supposed to turn into an incubator during pregnancy, and its nice to see that happen!