Too Old For This Shit – Friday Fictioneers

Oh my goodness.  It is Wednesday already!  And don’t blame me… Blame David Stewart for this fantabulous image that sent me way outta the box, methinks.  Always a huge thank you to Rochelle for hosting this party no matter what is going on in her life.  You da best!  To join in, just click on my frog below and add the link to your 100-word story.  Just like that!  Easy as one-two-three, flip! one-two-three, dance!

©David Stewart

Pole Dance Frog: Hilarious Dance Moves in Action

Click to link

Honest to God, where do they find these old pole dancers?  The garbage bin?  This one shoulda been put out to pasture years ago.  She’s all saggy skin and bones, for chrissakes.  Must be desperate to still be dancing at this age.  She is too old for this shit!

***

How the hell am I still doing this at this age?  Fucksakes, I wanted to retire years ago.  I could have if it hadn’t been for that asshole taking me for everything I had.  I see their looks – tips are gonna be awful.  I am way too old for this shit.

I’m Gonna Be a Star! – Friday Fictioneers

Good Wednesday morning!  I had great intentions this morning.  I am having my car serviced and brought my laptop with me, knowing they have work stations with wifi.  Wunderbar!  However, my company VPN will not connect so I am basically useless to my job.  Good intentions count, don’t they?  Of course they do!  This week’s photo is from Sandra Crook – a writer extraordinaire.  Should you be inspired by this great shot, click on my frog and add the link to your story.  If you need the how-to, just click on Sandra’s photo and dance on over to Rochelle’s blog – she’s the boss of us and will give you what you need to know!

©Sandra Crook

A frog is dancing in the forest with the sun behind him | Premium AI-generated image

Click to dance!

Maisie twirled, dancing gleefully around Emily.  Emily, lying on the picnic blanket, was trying to enjoy the warmth of the sun.

“Would you stop already?  You keep blocking the sun!  I feel like I’m in a disco with the strobe lights flashing!”

“Get used to it, Sister-Mine!  One day you are gonna see me on stage with lights flashing, but on MEEEEEE!  I’m gonna be a star!” she twirled once again, landing in a dizzy heap by her disgruntled sister’s side.

“You’ve always been a dreamer.”

“Dreaming’s the first step.  Just watch me!”

“Dream on.  Just stop blocking the sun.”

 

Weekend Writing Prompt #405 – Gallant

Good Sunday afternoon!  It is cold and windy outside and honestly, it is taking me some convincing to go for a walk.  I haven’t succeeded yet despite the beautiful blue skies and sunshine (which forgot to turn on the heat).  Plus the wind keeps gusting in a manner most menacing!  What better way to wile away part of the day than to participat in Sammi’s WWP!

My friend is naturally gallant.

In a subtle dance

he takes the lead

while crossing streets

With a subtle twirl

I’m on the inside

and he, streetside

One Thing Sunday

All great plans, and all that jazz.  Maybe I should not have specified what a ONE thing would be or could be.  As I am trying to declutter and give some order to my house, it would stand to reason that I am working towards that.  Of course, life is what happens when you plan(ish).

Monday:  Normally and technically, I would say that cooking shouldn’t be part of the ONE Thing because it doesn’t fall into the out of norm chores.  However, when your eggplant, zucchini and bell peppers are giving you the evil eye and start talking back, they must be dealt with.  So, while I had an omelette with leftover lasagna sauce for supper, I had to deal with these. (Bonus, it will liberate the fridge further and give me the nudge to clean it.)  What to do, though?  I was thinking a tian but didn’t have any fresh tomatoes and considered using canned. Meh.  Eggplant-Zucchini casserole à la Eggplant parmesan?  Eesh, flouring and frying.  Meh.  Hmmm. That left me with either a ratatouille or a Sicilian pasta sauce.

Tuesday:  Stuck in traffic, got home, nuked supper, had my date with Marc went to bed by 9:00 – no ONE.

Wednesday:  While waiting for my financial advisor (we had a mix-up in dates so now he’s coming over Thursday), I cleaned out one of the drawers in my dining/living room – I call it my booze drawer 😏 (plus restaurant menus – am sure I will find more in the next drawer)!  Why is there a roll of stamps? Because, if I put it elsewhere, I’ll never remember.  Same thing for that marker that I use for jars and and food saver bags.  Deciding if I will keep those napkin rings or not – maybe now that I can see them I’ll remember I have them!   We shall see what happens with that one!

Thursday: Vincent, said advisor, showed up and we sat and noshed on charcuterie and cheese, my leftover bread and washed it down with wine.  I made a more extravagant plate for Thursday but only took a picture of the one from Wednesday!  Can this count?  And it’s gonna have to fill in as a ONE.

Friday:  After work, I met up with my buddy Julie at the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts for an exhibit of Inuit art and dance. Well.  What a disappointment! This was to last a couple hours so we succumbed to paying $16 for a puny bowl of arugula topped with a measly portion of trout tartare and we even went nuts and got a sort of apple tarte tatin thing for another $5.  There were no chairs available to sit, no standing tables available, either.  We found a counter in another little room, scarfed down our “supper” and heard some mumbling so we made our way to a little corner to stand and try to hear what was going on.  We understood nothing, so we decided to go see the art until the dance started.  Not much to see but some lovely stuff.  Came back to the main hall and there were two seats. We saw absolutely nothing as the dance was mostly on the floor.  We lasted ten minutes and decided to go out, walk through the museum’s boutique, then out for a coffee or something. It was all of 7:00 pm! We ended up at Winnie’s for wings and a Virgin Caesar.  Was home by 9:45.  I did prepare my starter for my Cubano bread.  So… a ONE was a cultural-wannabe.

Saturday:  Woke up early and made my Cuban bread dough, set it to rise, fed my starter, hoping it would be enough to use later and started my dough for my attempt at a cinnamon raisin bread (that would be baked Sunday).  I might be obsessed with this bread-making thing.

Realised my dishwasher didn’t go on last night so tried to get it going.  Stuck on pause. What in the hell?  Spent a ridiculous amount of time on-line trying to figure out how to un-pause the damn thing (because the manual says nothing about this pause-thing).  Did three loads of laundry in-between and changed my sheets.  I baked the Cuban bread and decided to try my hand at making buns for my burger.  The ONE is well… I dunno.

Sunday:  Well.  Today, I baked my cinnamon-raisin bread AND my sourdough.  I started washing all the dishes in the bloody dishwasher because not only can I not get the damn thing working, I can’t find the right breaker coz it’s not properly indicated since the renovation.  I can’t pull it out to unplug it, either!  I’ll need someone to come over and help me with the breakers. (Can you just see me running up and down, to see just what I turned off?  Sigh.)  Had a lovely chinwag with Janet, did my exercises, took a walk (talk about brisk out there) to Linda’s to share a few slices of bread with her, sat for a chit-chat and back home to do nothing from my nonexistent list.

Full Week One?  Not quite.

Tomorrow is the start of another week, right?

 

 

Friday Night’s Alright

Monday was Quadrille Monday on dVerse, hosted by De from “WhimsyGizmo“.  She instructed us to use the word “Friday” in any way that suited us, as long as we kept our poem to a strict 44-word count.  Last night, as I was tossing and turning instead of sleeping, a thought came to me.  So, here is the result!  And here I was thinking I wouldn’t play…

Friday, age five to thirteen
Yay! Cartoons on Saturday!

Friday, age eighteen to, let’s say 25
Sweet!  Let’s go out to dance and drink!

Friday, age 26 to 65
Work week is over, time to do household chores

Friday, retirement age
What? It’s Friday? It’s always Friday!

Those Were the Days – Friday Fictioneers

‘Tis Wednesday!  Vacation’s over and it’s time to participate in Friday Fictioneers.  Would you look at that?  Rochelle, our ever-reliant leader has chosen a pic from yours truly.  Can’t be rude now, can I?  Should you want to play along, click on my pic to swing over to Rochelle’s for the how-to.  Already know?  Then click on my frogs below and drop your link to your 100-word story.  Just like that.  Boogie on, Dudes.

Frog Dance Print

Click to link

I cannot count the number of Fridays and Saturdays Roxie and me would doll up (not that much as neither one of us were “poupounes”) and head our way to L’Entente, the discotheque in my town.  We always made sure we got there early – 9:30-10:00 pm – to have the dance floor to ourselves before the throngs arrived around 11:00.  Ooh ooh ooh ooh ah ah Illusion.  It was our favourite.

Many moons later, I found myself in some dance club on Crescent Street, Montreal, with Patti and her friends to celebrate her whatever-ith birthday.

The music and the people were all wrong.

*poupoune – girls who get too dolled up

Weekend Writing Prompt #317 – Adagio

When I saw this word for Sammi’s prompt… not this past Saturday but the one before, I knew I wanted to somehow incorporate Albinoni’s adagio.  I remember buying the album (yeah, yeah, vinyl) at Phantasmagoria for $2.99, probably around 1981 or so.  It had a purplish-burgundy coloured album cover and I bought it having zero knowledge of what I was in for.  It was a wonderful discovery and I enjoyed listening to it and whatever else was on the album (my memory fails me).

WWP 317 Adagio

 

The sky is smog-filled and eerie
the air so heavy you can almost touch it
No blue sky or fluffy white clouds, just
an unnatural shade of orange hangs, suspended

Somehow, light has pushed its way through
and is playing with the leaves
frolicking with the wind

The patterns on the floor move like ballet dancers
First, swaying alone, and then, towards each other
in a slow, romantic adagio

Weaving and turning, apart and together
Indistinguishable
where one starts and the other ends