I Just Wanna Get Along at Blue Cow Cafe, Plaza Damas

When I was thinking for an opening hook for this post, I thought only and only of this one song.

"We were rich once
Before your head exploded"


The Roast Pork served with a huge dollop of coleslaw and mash on that Saturday morning was handsome and induced happiness.

"Imagine doing what just the Big Bang did"

The Applesauce that came served in a separate jar was tart and tight, elevating the Roast Pork to new possibilities.

"The whole world knew it was loaded

Wave bye bye cause it ain't ever coming down now"

The Grilled Pork Loin, a little less profuse in flavour and tenderness, simmered and sulked, demanding for more attention and praise. The tougher material was challenging to work with but we gave it all we had and placated the raging victim within. Just for a short while though.

"I just wanna get along" Jeng-Jeng!

I returned to the crisp comfort of the Roast Pork and surrendered with a sigh.

"I look up

The heads fly over

I see a boy I know

His hair's on fire"

The pilgrimage of pork that sussed out this and that happened at:

Blue Cow Cafe

N-1-4, Plaza Damas

60, Jalan Sri Hartamas

Tel: 03-62013206

"The whole world I discovered

If you're so special why aren't you dead"

The tune's "I Just Wanna Get Along" by the Breeders. Listen here. Pretty awesome eh?

Mall-functioned, Zouk Cafe & Bar, Gardens

Organised retail is a tough call. On one hand, our heinous traffic/public transport conundrum presents a commercial case for the ongoing erection of these mercenary all-in-one monoliths.

But sticking in air-conditioning and opening the shutters are hardly sufficient to convert window shoppers to serious ones, given the stiff competition and growing disdain for these hastily built but ultimately malfunctioning edifices.

Zouk Cafe & Bar at the Gardens in Mid Valley is an example of an outlet with failed potential given the captive traffic who work in the vicinity and starved for choice to wind down on a Friday evening.

Lasagne a.k.a. hunka microwaved rubbery beauty topped with melted plastic resembling play-doh cheese. Tasted no better, I was informed.

Fettucine Carbonara got an indifferent "Creamy" from meal owner, but only because she was well famished by the time the pretty gleaming plate was set in front of her and had no inclination for verbal expression.

An underwhelming Steak Sandwich done rare, which somehow translated to an alarming grey mass of mystery meat.

The Cheeseburger, a far cry from the Ramly outside a 7-Eleven I had later that same evening.

The Seafood Alio Oglio, which was served with thoroughly dessicated scallops. Not the way the mighty Creator intended for this mollusc to contribute to the food chain.

The Doughnut Dippers were hilariously stale and colourless. No one was in a hurry to try this.

Happy Hour beverage prices currently apply only for Carlsberg and house pours.

A disappointment, as with most mall outlets, saved only by the dependable camaderie of battle-scarred colleagues. Next time, we'll know better to get into our vehicles, fight the traffic out a little further for a better class of merrymaking.

Voila, Sandringham Road

I hate to follow up a deliciously devastating review with a bland praise-heaping one but we had a pretty good meal at the Moroccan-French cafe in Sandringham, so sorry for snores... but there was this weird dude who insisted on sitting at the same table as me. Pictured here is his demonstration of coffee coinosseur stirmanship. He was also wearing a sweatshirt that resembled a grey marshmallow. When people dress like confectionery, it's hard to say no.
This was my Eggs Benedict with Salmon on a Spinach-filled gallete. Your eyes do not deceive you, that is a salmon steak resting on the parcel with poached egg and hollandaise heaped on top - an unusual and welcome luxury in a land of paltry salmon shavings.

Weird Dude's breakfast of mushroom/caramellized onion filled omelette, a thoughtful balance of the savoury and sweet.

Exquisite lemon tart, big enough for two.

My Long Black, their coffee is supplied by Supreme, an Auckland-based roaster; the owner told us they had been through several suppliers until they settled with Supreme. Great service, the pastry here deserves definite props - this place is filled to the brim and then some on weekends so visit on a weekday if you can.

Eating at IKEA

While I remain neutral about furnishing and fittings found at IKEA, I've more good things than bad to say about the food there. It's cheap, it's often tasty and I especially like how its layout gently enforces basic civil behaviour amongst the notoriously impatient and boorish hungry Malaysian. During this particular visit, despite the crowd, we didn't see a single queue jumper. Everyone waited their turn obediently, even at the drinks counter which didn't have queue ropes to hold in line any deviants to the order of the day. Maybe there's hope for the country after all!

I had the Manager's Special of the day - Chicken bangers served with mash, coleslaw and doused with plenty of gravy. I enjoyed it in the beginning but the processed meat got a bit much one-third into my second.

We shared a garden salad. I have to say for RM4.90 it's a steal in these quarters, where we are expected to fork out the price of a main course for some fresh salad in other dining establishments. I am not a huge fan of thousand island dressing but I was just too happy to be consuming moderately-priced greens!

Fat Tulip had the chicken leg with lemon and chives sauce, served with sides of carrots and potatoes. He loved it and it was fine for what it was, but I'm not sure I'd necessarily order it again. It was with this dish that I started to see a semblance to canteen food, which was essentially what IKEA's cafe's all about, I suppose.

And finally, the toast of the town, IKEA's curry puff from the kiosk after the checkouts. This is dead gorgeous - small enough to finish in three quick bites but still packing a whole lotta flavour, plus a quarter of a hard boiled egg! A true sight for sore eyes, egg nestled in between the curry potato filling, don't you agree? At RM1 a pop, it's the perfect snack to reward yourself for having made out of IKEA without overspending, or otherwise!