Have you ever wondered what happened to all those people whom you were good to? Do you wonder if they still remember you, or how you talk or what are your interests or what fascinates you or how are you putting up with life?

Well if you give your contact list a little scroll you will notice people who no longer notice your memories or people for whom you barely exist. It is quite heart-breaking to know that people who were once so importat for you have left you behind.

I recently had the honor of coming face to face with this truth. I spent half of my conscious teen life amidst a lot of people; people I dated, people who were my friends, people with whom I have shared a fair amount of my fears and people I voraciously loved and invested my time in and people who really mattered. Once upon a time my fairy tale like life had a long list of friends but now it has been filtered to three or four. Quite fascinating right?

I have realized that life is a sum total of moments, fragments of moments that we live. Our life is a memory, a constantly evolving memory and when I think about mine, it was a mere lie. People to whom I gifted my moments, don’t even remember me. They never even bothered to know if I was alive. It has dawned on me that I was never enough for these people who were so hungry for validation that they preyed on the next visible thing. I wouldn’t say they were the only ones at fault, I too was. I guess, I too needed some validation, but their validation and mine differed. Humans are hungry for love and care, it is imbibed in the basic nature of a human being, I too was but I could never bring myself to hurt someone just to get that small amount of lowly validation. I guess that is where emotional freaks are misunderstood. People think of them as weak creatures, they are preyed on for caring and loving too much. I too was.

I always tried to be faithful, good, obedient, lovely, caring, social and all the positive adjectives but not anymore. If life has taught me anything, it is that people whom you consider permanent don’t even consider you temporary. For them you are lowlier than a fling. Be it people whom you called friends or lovers or confidants, they sure leave you behind.

My Knight in the shining armor told me once, don’t give any tom dick and harry even the least amount of control over your life. Don’t be easily accessible, because people are in a habit of walking in a house with an open door on a winter night. They even feel free to sleep over, make a fire, eat and drink but they leave when it is sunny outside and don’t even bother to shut the door behind. So, learn to filter people, for every one isn’t worth knowing your fears, your weakness and everyone isn’t worth of your love and time and care. Don’t make people your permanents because people have a habit of leaving you behind.