Sweet Dream....

A few days ago I dreamt about you...
we walked silently
in the exact same neighbourhood I'm living in now
from our lovely house towards your car
You were talking sweetly to me
and I was smiling all the time
we drove to your friend's beautiful home
and it was filled with elaborated decorations...
it was a dinner for a special night
and I felt warm around you and your friends

I touched your hands and felt your intoxicating breath
steady and warm...
and I fell into you
you embraced me and I feel safe
I'm in love again
I do not remember your face..
but for the first time ever...
I had a dream so real...
so fantastic I really wish it wasn't so short...
but I am satisfied
because somewhere in my heart....
I really felt that... this is a sign
that for once, I'll find someone who truly loves me

Life after a crazy month :)

Dear readers,

I am done with having vacations and enjoying my December like never before. and I have to say what a wonderful period it was! by far the best month I ever had because of the constant playing and spending,
so thrilling that now I seriously feel guilty....

well I am back home now, my wonderful home in little Seremban. The serenity and beauty Seremban has to offer is indeed blissful, I am in utter happiness here :)

well I guess I can say I'm done with year 2009 and boy what an interesting year it has been! Ups and downs as usual, but I guess this is one year where I grow a lot! compare to the rest, maybe its because I have grown to view things in a wider perspective and being able observe little changes. I am happy that I am able to appreciate things more and finally, am able to smile again.
Glad that I can view things in a more positive way even though all this traits, I only gained late this year, better late than never huh?

I have slowly learn to live my life without regrets, although I have done some really really stupid things in my life, not to mention downright foolish choices, I guess in every path I take, there are lessons ahead installed for me to learn and grow.
What I truly regret though, is not sparing more time and love for my family and true friends, and that will be one main priority for next year.

and I guess I would have to thank the awesome people in my life, no matter how many years or mere seconds we have known each other for, as long as you come into my life and touched me, you got an official Alexander Wong stamp as "awesome!"
lol
no matter whether our relationships stayed or ended, well or badly, I truly thank you people for I surely am inspired by you guys, for the soul you are, and for the world and lessons you showed and brought to me. Thank you, you make me what I am today.
and I am happy and proud of myself :)

I am sooooooo ready for year 2010!!!!
GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT BABY!
lol
I'm sure there will be plenty of surprises ahead! XD
can't wait!
I LOVE YOU AWESOME PEOPLE!!

I gotta end this post here.
OH! sorry for not wishing you guys
A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
(I'm still in the Christmas mood~~)

Conclusion = My Christmas gift is awesome! Thanks mom and dad! I love you guys :D




here's a smile from the recent me, hope it isn't awful~~ lol

Wedding Dress

Dear Readers,

I fell in love with the song "Wedding Dress" by Tae Yang from the Korean group "Big Bang" since the first time I hear it. The song is absolutely beautiful complemented by its well directed music video.
Tae Yang's ability to turn my skin green with his charming looks is a plus too :)

I was partially bored at home so I finally googled the translation of the lyrics and I was really impressed by the lyrics! not to discredit him before but I never knew how touching and deep the lyrics actually is.
and his voice utterly mesmerizing I never feel bored listening to his songs after multiple plays.



OH! DID I MENTION HIS DANCE MOVES ARE TO DIE FOR?!
JUST SEE HOW FLUID HE CAN MOVE...DAYUMMM!!

here's the English translation

Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

CREDITS
Hangul Lyrics: bugs.co.kr
Romanization: yukyien @ soompi
Translations: pgeorgie.blogspot.com

touching....
T_T
I wanna go cry now....lol

P/s I just saw someone commented about Lady Gaga being overrated , that she's good but not THAT GOOD
what I have to say is...

WHAT THE FUCK LA!! ARE YOU FILLED WITH SHIT IN THE SKULL?!
(lol I know it may be a very biased perspective to a lot of people)
but come on! her music and lyrics are works of a genius!
and I haven't even start about her music videos ..... the complexity and layers of her creativity is beyond extreme! and she outdone herself all the time ..
she's so much better than a lot of other artistes EXPONENTIALLY ==

(ok I know other people would still argue but I sincerely think people wouldn't see it that way because of the taste in music, not to say I don't admire other artistes but really, the work Lady Gaga have made is so original and edgier she deserves her title)

Conclusion = I wouldn't say Lady Gaga rocks more than Carrie Underwood in country music. Get my point?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Dear readers,

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I JUST REALLY WANNA SCREAM RIGHT NOW!
BECAUSE I'M SO HAPPY WITH MY LIFE NOW FOR SO MANY REASONS!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

even though I'm so much uglier than before due to pimples
even though many sad things and conflicts has happened
even though I still argue with my family members
even though I'm temporarily deaf in the left ear for whatever bloody reason =.=
(I guess the cause is the flight.... == )

but I am just so happy with everything that is happening right now
especially the positive things that has happened and is happening

I'm glad that I am able to experience so many beautiful things in this world
just got back from Kota Kinabalu and I love it there!
the people are kind and the view is mesmerising...
and the oddest thing is...
I found love there...

that's something I really never expected...
love for the food...
and the place...
and a particular someone...
although its such a short romance...
thank you..

anyway this is just a short entry.
wanna sleep now... gonna rush back to KL for another shopping date ==
god....
its like continuous fun fun fun!!
I really feel guilty @.@

Conclusion = Please cupid I beg of you...don't play games with me anymore. Give me something
permanent ok? XOXO

thank you
lol

Through window panes....

Dear readers,

I sit here in my kitchen...
listening to mellow songs while admiring the rich,brown design of the kitchen cabinets...
carefully picked by my lovely mother
and over the kitchen counter,smoky fumes liberating from the cooking pot...
dim streams of light penetrating though the window panes,
illuminating the dark...dam basin..
I cannot help but to feel blessed about life right now.

Tremendously happy I am with all the positive influence I was exposed to and all the interesting people I met.Thankful for the great,lovely people who came into my life and touched my soul.
I could never ask for more than this :D

I finished my A-level a week ago so I'm free!
for now...haha
the days has been lazy....
but I did managed to insert some activities during these days...
I played Paintball with my buddies,
(a chance to show the sadistic side of me.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I managed to shoot my heart out and inflicted pain...hahahaha
but I got shot directly in the head and heart == .. god I suck.... )
watched 2012....
sang ==
oh! and I visited campuses that I am considering....
it was quite fruitful
but I always get mixed reviews.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ==
WHERE SHOULD I STUDY LA IF I WANNA DO BUSINESS?!
HOW COME SOME SAYS MONASH AND SOME SAY TAYLORS?!
ANY SUGGESTIONS?!!
thanks...
LOL

so I'm gonna play until crazy for the whole December :D
wheeeee!
then I guess I gotta find a job by January...
and I really really pray that my results will turn out good... cause I don't know what to feel about my performance during the exam...
I felt numb....
so God, please please, I'm not greedy... last time I took 4 subjects...
now give me 3 A's can already XP
and I pray that all my fellow friends will get wonderful results too ^^

I wonder what surprises year 2010 will have for me.
I'm excited and I cannot wait for a bigger change :D
but zzzzzzzzzzz
speaking of enrollment ....
I'm kinda beaten by the idea of knowing new people...
shy~~
LOL
and hopefully flowers will blossom again ^^
I guess this is it for now.
Good luck to those taking STPM
and have a magnificent holiday to the rest !

Conclusion = Embrace new changes and life ;)
* I'm happy that someone I stopped talking to for months actually replied me yesterday...
LOL! what a surprise @.@
try contacting a lost one, you never know what answers you might get back.
I'm glad I did.

I'm Back ! :D

Dear Readers,

(lol... I guess a little bit change in format and a little bit more courtesy would be sweet ^^)

So yay... I'm back :)
more drama...
haha

A- levels has practically ended and I only have 3 more papers to kill and I will be free :D
so how was life while I was away?
the same-o-stuff I guess... nothing extravagant happened exactly, just enjoyed my life and spending quality time with my friends, having fun and laughing hard. exchanging sarcasm... exchanging insults....and GAZILLIONS OF COLD JOKES....
I just realised I've gotten crazier and loonier due to too much exposure of "The Christine Virus" and pre-exam stress... and to be honest having this stress for 2 months isn't really killing me because I slacked off more than I am suppose to...
but still I pray hard that everything turns out great for all of us

A small new chapter of my life will begin soon...
the big one,I guess will only start when I enroll into a University...
and I will enjoy all the free time I have paying friends visit and spending more quality time and love with my friends and family

(zzz gotta take off my head-gear first.. can't concentrate on 2 things -.- )

well! hmmm... I honestly cannot believe A level is over! yay! although it is one of the best experience and learning process I had.
and I made friends with the coolest people during this period
I sincerely hope our paths will collide again in the future.

I kinda made up my mind with what I will major in already... and its kinda more assured thing.. compared with my choices last time..
unless I really get inspired again....
or I got sent to New York or Italy...
hmmm....
LOL
guess I'll major in Marketing...
yeah, major shock huh? -.-

and my, how time flies!
some friends said I've grown taller and I really really hope that's true and I hope I still am :D
please stop at 185 and I'll be really thankful of my genes and god
I guess I've grown too in all aspects...
well of course we do.. only retards don't...

unfortunately my face is infested by really really aggressive and disgusting pimples T_T
and I really wonder why all of the sudden...
recovery rate is like 40% -.-
and spreading rate is like 55%
I wonder will I ever gonna get my flawless face back....
lol..

plans after this.. hmm...
read like tons of novels....piano.... and relax and just have fun..
oh oh! my latest passion is photography (passion started when I first held a DSLR months ago.. like July?)
AND I DESPERATELY WANT ONE TOO!!!
PLEASE DADDY I BEG YOU TO BUY ONE FOR ME T_T!!!
sob...

and I am so proud of Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga right now :)
they seriously kick ass!!
DID YOU GUYS SAW THE VIDEO OF "BAD ROMANCE"
OH MY GOD!!!!!
IT JUST TOTALLY KILLS ALL RETARDED BITCHES IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY!
AND IT FEATURED ALEXANDER MCQUEEN'S DEGISN!!
WAH-LIAO-EH~~!!
go youtube. it trust me!

and I need to get back on track with the dramas and movies I haven't watch yet.
UBER EXCITED FOR 2012!
and Avatar!
did I mention Prince of Persia.? ok that's next year but fuck! its from the producers of Pirates OTC. that show definitely will give me orgasms...lol
and New Moon!
and Saw 6!! OH MY GOD...
SAW.......*drools...*

well I think I've typed too much...
will update more next time.

Have a lovely day people!

New Moon

The Moon Cake Festival...
also known as the Mid Autumn Festival... doesn't really carry any significance in my life...
I didn't get the chance to taste any delicious moon cakes either.
even though I do yearn for a chocolate flavoured one...

life has been slow... and boring for weeks already...
I just cannot wait to move out of this A level phase...
move on to 2010...
because I cannot bear this dead environment anymore... thank god its all going to end...
with a final war..
and yet... I'm not equipped or ready at all...

so I guess I would most probably die in vain...

at a lot of points... I wanna move out ... detach from my parents...my family
its really negative here.. the energy...
I cannot stand it no longer.. and I always wondered why I can tolerate the energy...
but no... I guess I didn't really fight it through.. it did drained me...
making me tired... and lifeless...
and deprive all my motivation...
to live and grow...

I went cycling yesterday...
and I realised a lot has changed...
the playground which I frequent to when I was young...
has grass growing all over the sand now..
and many tall trees erected in a lot of places...
the second playground...
was burned into ashes...
I wonder what happened to it...
sad..

More beautiful homes were built
yet.. the place is always quiet...
one reason why I love exploring this place..
I love the sound of silence...
it always makes me feel calm.....

I can't wait no longer....
I wanna go away...
Conclusion = Planning of departure...

Smoky fumes and mushroom clouds....

I woke up 5.30 am today...
because I have to pay my late grandma's grave a visit
some prayers I had to attend...

under the blazing sun...
and surrounded by suffocating smoke from joss-sticks..
holding them high to bear another few intervals of incantations...
I felt weird...

awkward thing is...
I suddenly miss my granddad, who passed away when I was 13...
I felt like as the eldest grandchild, I didn't connect with him much...
I should have talked and shared stories with him more
and cherished him more...
equally the same for my other grandparents..

I guess its my problem for being a quiet person...
I am not open enough around people...
I cannot find the comfort to express myself...
and I only choose certain people to share my true self...
I kinda regret having this trait myself
not being able to gain inspiration and knowledge for what could have been

sometimes I wish things are easier...
for a lot of cases...
I wish I could just release myself..
and operate properly
sometimes I wish my loved ones would know, understand and accept..
but its hard though...
and I guess the possibility is incredibly rare...
too much pressure and heartache..
too much disappointments...

still..
searching my way out of this abyss....
the maze with everchanging paths....
for a confirm illumination...
at least one stream of white light to help me pass this phase first
I don't want to linger here anymore...
I wonder the path I will take in the future is another illusion...
or the proper way...
bless me
and surprise me :D

Black and white

more on facebook :D
hope you enjoyed viewing

Vampire Poison...

I kinda hit climax when I read a page of Twilight... (because most probably there would be more thrilling stuff in the future...)
page 219 of the first book to be exact

I hope this isn't illegal... its non-commercial purpose anyway so I guess I couldn't be sued...
anyway!
haha
quote from the book... {I'm kinda promoting the book in a sense =) }

*************************************************************
"I was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through me,amazed that it was possible to be more aware of him than I already was. A crazy impulse to reach over and touch him, to stroke his perfect face just once in the darkness, nearly overwhelmed me. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, my hands balling into fists. I was losing my mind.

My eyes, of their own accord, flickered to him. I smiled sheepishly as I realized his posture was identical to mine, fists clenched under his arms, right down to the eyes, peering sideways at me. He grinned back, his eyes somehow managing to smolder, even in the dark. I looked away before I could start hyperventilating. It was absolutely ridiculous that I should feel dizzy.

The hour seemed very long. I couldn't concentrate on the movie - I didn't even know what subject it was on. I tried unsuccessfully to relax, but the electric current that seemed to be originating from somewhere in his body never slackened. Occasionally I would permit myself a quick glance in his direction, but he never seemed to relax, either. The overpowering craving to touch him also refused to fade, and I crushed my fists safely against my ribs until my fingers were aching with the effort.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Mr.Banner flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched my arms out in front of me, flexing my stiff fingers. Edward chuckled beside me. "
*******************************************************************
*breathes deeply...*

as I go through this page...
my hair stood up...
my eyes widen,
I felt ticklish...
and I couldn't help but laugh...
very loudly
and literally felt slight spasms...
I suddenly realise...
god... this feels wrong because...
why am I reading mushy things like this -.-
suddenly my brain snapped and yeah... this is indeed a chick book I guess?
yet...
the very poison that damaged my mind manifested itself..
the absolute reason why...
I kept going back for more...
more Twilight... is because I find it bloody entertaining to read this weird..
teenage... stuff...
haha
and Edward Cullen's overwhelming perfection...
is kinda infectious...
*cough* homo..*cough*
LOL

seriously... the way Stephenie describe Edward is so exaggerating...

anyway what a fun read!

signing off, and going back to more blood....

Itchy...

that's how I feel right now...

since a few weeks ago... I came to realise, after moving away from home for one and a half years already... my body isn't adept to the germs in my house anymore...
cause every weekend when I come back... my neck starts itching and turns red....
and other places itches too ... -.-
but the neck is the most uncomfortable and awkward part...

Its the Raya holidays~!
so Selamat Hari Raya to all :D
and I'm thinking whether or not should I give myself a one week holiday since we're given till Wednesday... and only another 2 more days till Saturday... hmm
hehe....

and I guess my neighbours would be bloody annoyed by me now
for the reason I kept playing the same song on piano for weeks... and at least 10 times a day...( I taught myself the piano so I don't have a range of compositions to play thank you very much and I only have the motivation to learn the music I like so don't give me the learn a new song then shit :D )
actually I wanna learn "kiss the rain" but no printer so...
someone print for me?
that would be divine...

hmm.. speaking of neighbours.. I wonder how they think of me...
LOL
guess they confirm I'm the crazy, lunatic neighbour just months after we moved in...
I make weird noises in the house a lot when I'm frustrated...
and I scream too randomly...
LOL
which is such an emotional satisfaction...
I pity my future lover though...
unless that one is crazy as well...

and its been such a long time since I updated...
I have already went back to the no inspiration mood...
but this update is obviously synonymous to me-typing-my-frustrations-down-because-I'm-having-PMS :D
no particular reason though...
maybe its because I just feel itchy and hot...
I hate the weather generally...
and whenever I think of weather... I think of our near-death planet...
which is so sad that there are still mindless people polluting the Earth,
not that I'm being perfect and leaving no carbon footprints..
but at least I'm doing little things to help reduce

and for lovely routine that I just adapted...
4 hours of Twilight but 50 pages of it...
I wonder what happened to my reading skills...
most probably the my absent mind drifts away too much...
that is one part of me I cannot let dominate...
and 1 hour of proper studying..
I'm doomed...
haha

plus,
not that no one knows...
but my love for Lady Gaga has catapulted to the top of the pyramid
she is A-W-E-S-O-M-E
her interviews are enlightening
and her shows..
GOD her shows... are mind-blowing!
if she ever comes here, I definitely will buy front row!
even watching her from the videos is freaking ecstatic XD


the camera is a bit off though...
but god.. the opening is superb!

time to sign out now cause I finished working out my fingers

COnclusion = Wanna go sleep...

Twirling Grey Clouds...

I am utterly pissed lately ==
lol well its not really what you think, for any normal person their head would be burning...
I just think I should be angry but I don't really feel angry..
sad....
anyway when I came back from holidays... I realise my laptop is not working anymore...
and I wonder what the source of problem is... hmmmm

(notice the sarcasm :D)

so I had to bring it back home... and have to wait for I don't know how brilliantly long... until it gets repaired...
and damn.. I didn't made backup... I did ask my clueless mom to request for a backup..
I hope she remembers...
OH MY GOD I REALLY WANNA WATCH AVATAR!!
which I so luckily got last time...
sad...
and all my files... and research....
and SONGS!!!
oh my god my songs...
all those albums... damn it -.-


another wonderful piss off is I cannot believe I didn't got my hands on the Twilight books and The Time traveler's Wife...




I especially wanted the latter... so much... wanted it even more desperately after watching the trailer ...


after my visit to the Book Fest.. I really learn one valuable lesson..
never go to that place on the last day... the books are all in bad condition(more emphasis on this one.. I MEAN REALLY BAD)... and most are out of stocks... bloody ==
and I did the total opposite of excellent in my trials.. enough said..
I guess I wouldn't be able to use the forecast for a Janury intake then...
hmmm... what should I do for my next half of year...
==
FUCK..
now I really feel wasted..
LOL

maybe I should really try knocking on some doors then next year since I would be free..
and hopefully I'll go New York or whatever and screw studying already..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


p/s to miss Wai Xin a.k.a Oo-chee-bang, in case you haven't seen my facebook yet.
LOL see I can smile what== this is really nice ok :D


anyway,
have a splendid day everyone!

Conclusion = Keep yourself motivated :D

A cry for salvation...

I realise while I'm back at home... here in little Seremban,
I did not wake up to the chirping of birds like I used to
instead, to my alarm clock 7.30 am everyday...
an attempt to study for my trials...
but to no avail

for these few days...
I stopped seeing beauty in life
beautiful things doesn't come through...

I'm broken...
pieces of me scattered everywhere...
I've lost them... and I guess trying to find them back will be a fruitless effort...
I have to mould them back myself..
to produce new parts of myself.... and make myself anew

this is by far the most disgraceful and disappointing period of my life...
trials is just a few days away and I have only completed 20% of my studies and now I'm crafting my own coffin...
I'm not gonna die yet mind you, gonna sleep in it a while...
and try to reconnect myself back again...
I have to wake up...
My true mind has been frozen long time ago...
and I was living the days unconsciously...
the minor part of me controlling my body...
hanging to my only essence...
but the mind was never there..

I don't want to linger in this state no longer...
I don't want to grow with this rate...
I want to fly away...
I want more...

I desperately must change...
help...

G.I Joe !!! WOhooo~~!!

a.k.a Government Issue~~

okay... I still tried to abstain myself from blogging but...
my naughty hands...
tie me....(its the holidays damn it!)

lol anyway I just watched it hours ago..
and I was blasted away~~ BAMMM!! (okay I do get excited by a lot of things... because I really enjoy every little things ma.. there are lots of things that are distasteful to me too.. like the crow... I saw when I was on my way home... which existed in one dimension... because it got squashed by some car... T_T)

it was totally awesome!!
a thrilling experience to watch! :D I cannot understand why people wouldn't like it...
I mean yeah, that are some scenes that are unnecessary and weird.. but the rest of the action is just marvelous, superbly choreographed ! ...
(I also do not understand why proper males who produces testosterones wouldn't like action movies.... oh comon, if you have a sensitive side.. at least don't let it overshadow that little boy in you == )

P***...
haha

anyway, just my perspective ^^

and Christine, thanks for ruining the movie for me.. well not exactly the whole experience..
but I cannot believe she turned to me and said..
"Hey you know what? Doesn't Channing looks like someone lovely? "
"Hmm? -.- ....Oh~~ ..."

and I had to bear watching that movie feeling awkward.. thank you so much.

in my humble opinion, there are a LOT of elements that are even better than Transformers 2
(gasp! O.O)
yea yea... trust me :D hehe
*note.. the acting...*
and of course it has its weird weird scenes where I don't know what was the director thinking...
with the effects and all.. Christine and I laughed like hell.. especially the scene where all of the Joes walk in one line in slow mo.. like some beauty ad.. showing how suave they are...
and suddenly poof*
back to normal and talking...
what on earth was that ...==

anyway well...did you know there are like 100 over characters? wow.. so much story to expand.. ==

well gotta go now~~here's a teaser of what I took this early morning...
trust me there are crazy pictures to look out for...
hehe...
(click on it and see :D its better~~)


Conclusion = Attraction is an emotion, and emotions are not based on science. If you can't quantify it then it doesn't make sense and in my mind it doesn't exist.

(well indirectly our emotions are based on our productions of hormones.. so.. but the product varies..) anyway, I totally heart this quote :D

Bored...

god I'm kinda bored now...
was copying notes just now but I could not really concentrate because every time I pass by the laptop I just need to touch it...
@.@
very unhealthy...
I tried to abstain from posting again but I'm utterly bored till I desperately need to release so I can get back to normal again...
haha

I'm listening to Paramore now...
awesome album ^^
I cannot wait to get back home this weekend as it will be a one week holidays next week.
Will be taking some photos of my neighbourhood with Krystal so I hope that will turn out awesome..

Wanna share some of my childhood memories with you guys ^^
the place I grew up and the neighbourhood that I run around in...
playing make-believe games with my childhood friends...
haha

Met up with Siva (a very old friend of mine, friends since 8 ^^ , awesome dude, someone I really look up to) today in KLCC, and he's going back to Canada again next Monday.
Damn, I gotta say I am so green with envy... I wish I can go overseas too...
and Shankaar and Pravin are both pursuing their studies in Australia...
we caught up with what we missed since the last time we met...
which was like last year Jan?
wow... time flies....
and hopefully I can attend his sis wedding next Sunday!
that was such a surprise!

Hmmm.... don't know what to write now...

Ok la.. go back and copy notes :D

I guess I have to really pull myself together soon...
or I'll be swept away by fierce hurricanes...

Someone tie me up please...
haha

Conclusion = A minor case of PMS

River Flows in You...

by Yiruma

Okay I'm supposed to sleep now but I can't help but to constantly play this piece of music...
its just so enigmatic and enchanting...
it never failed to draw me in...
so deeply..
I feel lost when I close my eyes... and just feeling it...
running through my veins..
dancing around my heart...
lifting my very soul...

I am that serious people==
LOL



and watching the video...
makes me SO WANNA BUY THE TWILIGHT SAGA AND READ THEM !
damn I should have bought them before I got scammed...
damn you evil people!




aww..
the words are so lovely..
lol
I'm a sucker for romance novels and movies~~

ok la.. I go sleep now..
*music still playing in my head*

Conclusion = Must learn this piece soon!

Live the Moment

Apa maksud ah...live the moment...
meaning you live life to the max? and do everything without hesitation..
and take crazy risks...
like shouting for attention when you see that hot girl pass by?
nah...

lol

Ok la enough shit.... Live The Moment was...
the THEME FOR PROM Night...
ouh...
now you know == (lol don't mind my tone for today's post)

Prom was unexpectedly awesome!!
I mean awesomeness!
the decoration was so impressive I thought I was transferred into a new dimension..
and my, the people are dressed up so well that they really got me envious and drooling....
Uwa~~


(and someone thought I cannot pull off my shirt... Hmmph~~
obviously he didn't know my secret identity....
HAHAHAHA!!!.... er hem)
(more pictures on facebook)

and I thought I might be a little bit crazy...
but hey! its Prom, so everyone wore nice nice to show off their assets,
some actually borrowed wedding dresses == as if I don't know how to differentiate... goodness its just prom...
some even put glitter all over them...
god.. the exaggeration...
and I don't need glitter to sparkle :D

maybe I got so excited and jumping because I never went to prom before and I don't have to really care about my image because I didn't have a proper date... and all of us gangs are having a massive group date and we are all lunatics...
AND I MEAN REALLY CRAZY!
haha

well to make it short, they were a few performances
and of course... the only performance which made me so HIGH was the..
err
LOL
扯铃 those traditional Chinese,big dumb bell like plastics (usually green in color) that you toss around with a string tied to sticks and you play them like giant yoyos?
(skip this part if you have no idea, try googling those 2 characters if curious)

and the performer was Vincent!! a dude in our gang! Awesomeness! lol I dunno how to describe the way he played it but he really did played like a pro,
he's an International Player who won numerous champions in so many countries including Taiwan etc. (go youtube to get a clear image)

and then...the usual... dinner... camwhoring...
and then!

dancing~~
lol
the usual... Waltz~~
like for an hour... and for the first 20 minutes I sat there...
just looking.. at the eyes of the couples staring dreamily into each other...
some had the eyes so enchanting I really wished they were staring at me... haha
some are so dead ...
and oh my god... some had those kinda expressions that I am sure there must be some other exciting activity after prom...
-.-
(American Pie anyone? hehe...)

anyway...
at the last hour... suddenly the whole hall turned into a club or something
I don't know whether does this happens in other Prom or not..
but we were like crazy!
lol at least for our gang... dancing sluttily and wildly
and screaming like we're on some mad roller coaster ride
people wouldn't believe we're book devourers from first class of science who scored string of Aces...
haha

and I cannot believe they only played "I know you want me" by Pitbull
when the event is over! and I couldn't dance to that song damn it..
OH MY GOD YOU DJ-S ARE SERIOUSLY RETARDED LA
FUCK YOU GUYS!!!
FUCK - Y-O-U WITH THE BIGGG F!!

....
seriously....lol
(my favourite club song at the moment ma.. I still feel so naughty and sexy when the song goes on.. haha)

but HEY! I HAVEN'T GOT TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PART YET!
where are the Prom Kings and Queens?!
ok la..
CHRISTINE WON!!!!!!!
LOL!
CHRISTINE WON THE TITLE OF PROM QUEEN 2009!!!
LOL!!!!
at one point I still cannot believe it not because I don't think she can win..
she obviously deserves it so much! but its just... I just feel so happy for her I still cannot believe when her name was announced
its like I won Asia's Next Supermodel or something!
ok la not to that extend... if that happens... I will be coma for 3 days..

and then...
we left around 1? 12? and hit Old Town...
lol not some pub or club... would be cool though.. us dressing like that...
and hang and talk dirty till 3...
haha the girls are seriously amusing thanks to the sexual education our bio lecturers gave us

it never occured to me that playing Ling Gun
is actually playing with the stick and the 铃....
and other naughty stuff we said that day about soft and hard...
should be left classified....

I WAS TALKING ABOUT CANDY! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?


Conclusion = Live life with lower expectations? yep... that's the trick and I guess this might be my last post for now... I will be isolated for a few months... to search for something.. that was left behind a long time ago... Muahahaha

I know you want me~~ want me~~
you know I want cha ~~ want cha~~
I know you want me~~
you know I want cha ~~ want cha~~
one-two-three-four
Uno-do'-tres-cuatro
( I can really dance naughty to this , too bad no one to dance to on bed now.. HAHAHA )
(WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! @.@)

Thank God..

lol I cannot help it but I just wanna type...
I used to be able to stop blogging for a period of time when I wanted to..
but SOMEONE requested me to post frequently at a point of my life and it has became quite a habit .... haiz..
but I guess you're moving on with your life now..
I am kinda too.. just that the rate is not as I expected.. bloody...

ANYWAY!
Thank God for not killing my lovely Bio lecturer T_T
no I'm not kidding...
she met with a freak accident yesterday and she still managed to make us laugh at her...
although I must say it was so scary just imagining what happened...
(ok let me try to describe with my very very appalling level of English...)
(on second thought.. I just recall what she said..that would be better)

"OH MY God you know what? I just met with an accident yesterday! "
Everybody's jaws dropped
"and you know what?! it was my 1 DAY old car! "

"huh?"

"Yeah! My one day old car I got for my convo! "
"It happened at PJ Section 13, and I was coming out at a corner but I couldn't see oncoming cars... because the stupid people parked their cars everywhere! Apparently there was a pasar malam"
"I just came out of the corner a little and all of a sudden the car just crashed into me!"
@.@
"and the whole scenario just keep repeating in my mind... tyres screeching...excruciating honking...and BANG! my head got tossed to the side of the windows and that constant pulsing is so painful...
the whole front part went off! the tyre, the engine, the window thingy... and whatever front part were all gone!~~... T_T my new car.."

"My sister was sitting beside me and our friends were at the back. and my sis told me the first thing I said after regaining conciousness was .."my new car..."

Me : == ..typical..

The guy actually saw her car coming but he was still speeding with 110km per hour because he assumed she would brake...
Thank his mom for leaving him a DNA strand to program him to steer off and bang the front part of the car.
If not she would have really died..
IT WAS THAT SERIOUS.

"what model was it?" some guy asked.

"it was a Hyundai i 10 ! errk.. my new car....T_T "

"miss miss! what's the .."
"I know I know 4***... typical of you guys, all my friends called just to ask the car plate number"
she interrupted.

and then she went on elaborating on the police.... and other funny stuff...

suddenly I got no mood to type now....
oh... I'm getting my PMS again.. LOL

but
she said she went to the Hospital Universiti
"Miss, registeration satu jam, tunggu doktor 3-4 jam"
"APA?! Orang boleh mati tunggu tau?!"

"and yeah it was the emergency lane...." Miss G mumbled...

everyone laughed and I was drooling from digesting that fact....
I think its my brain juice...

and she continued with lecture...
***********************************************
Prom is this Saturday!
I wonder what will happen...
I hope Christine wins :D

minutes ago Christine was jumping and getting all excited about her new pet rabbit which
was of a palm sized
seconds ago.. she came to me, sounding very sad..
the rabbit was eaten by a cat...
how..
sarcastic life can be...
LOL

well I gotta go back to my stuff now...
life will be miserable I guess for the next few months if I manage to carry out my plan properly..
and hopefully there will be a garden of fruits awaiting me....

CONCLUSION = Why is life turning upside down now... its not that I wanna view it negatively but you just cannot ignore the events... I hope rainbows will appear again...
oh yeah! I hope when I get my hybrid car... It doesn't get crashed @.@

Lost and Found...

I went to a Lost and Found shop today...
a place which I do not frequent to...
a place I only visit when I really lost something...

as I pushed opened the door.. the rusted bell rang...
an old, frail keeper stood there...
waiting... and smiling at me...
I forced a smile back at him, and walked slowly...
"Ah.. its been ages my boy, what brings you here? " he said cheerfully.
"I... er... lost some stuff sir... and I want them back..."
"Well, of course you lost some important stuff my boy! But do you know what are they? "

I stared blankly at the old man's pale grey eyes... and nothing came out of my mouth...
"of course..." he replied... and he went back into the storage room...
to come back few seconds later... with a chest made of glass....
it was cold...

"So what do you want to know? What have you lost? or what you still have left? or found..."
"lost..."
Without hesitating... he grabbed my hand and gave me a crystal taken from the chest...
I felt pain... lots of pain... and I felt like I got tossed around wildly..
I vanished...

It was white...
all white...
as I entered the ward.. there she lay... with her eyes closed...
but her hands moving weakly..
and her breaths are heavy..
I held her hand...
that warm hand...
and I called out to her...
and she teared...
I thought everything was going to be alright...

it was always on these occasions that I felt that our family are one again...
where we don't argue...
and we all sat quietly in the car.. and prayed...
that everything is going to be alright...

I vanished again...
and it was night time...
I was happy because I was with my best of friends, Christine, 234 and her family...
celebrating her brother's 21st birthday...
we had tremendous fun...
and I thought I was moving on...
and I thought everything will be alright...
but deep down... I still wish you could see me laughing... and smiling back at you..

the next morning, black crows flew by...
and bad news came...
why is it that only when death knocks...
only all family members are reunited...
only our spirits are really one...

I did not dared to look at the faces last time...
when it was both grandpas and greatgrandma...
but I did on you... and you were beautiful...

as I stood at the cemetery...
paying my last respects...
tossing that handful of crystal white sand into your grave...
the old man told me...
"Life is full of surprises eh? my.. my.. especially death... you just never knew when he's coming.."
I looked at him sadly...
and we both vanished..

of flower baths...
haunting incantations...
and burnt joss-sticks...
the smell of death came back to me...

as we bid my once, grandparents house good-bye...
I felt that its empty now...
empty from the noises of grandchildren running and screaming around...
empty from the sound of cooking from the kitchen...
empty from the sound of Mahjong pieces clashing together...
the sound of silence penetrates me...
and dragged me off the ground...

I hope the next time we come by..
it will be filled with laughters and cheers again...

I vanished again...
back into the shop...
the old man was sitting on a rocking chair now...
rocking slowly... looking at me...
"You lost a loved one my boy... although you don't feel it everyday... her love for her children and grandchildren was always there"
"Don't be saddened boy... I know you lost another love too... you haven't lost one's soul yet.. keep having faith...
but you have to give up on that one you see... because that soul does not belong to you...
although you lost both loves... their spirits are still with you..."

I teared again... only to realise... I actually still love you...
I still see you everywhere..
standing on my lawn when I was hanging my clothes..
lying in that ward... eating that awful food... and sending me a message complaining how bad it was...
creeping up to me when I was washing my dishes...
ironing my clothes...
holding me... to another view of Titanic...
kissing my forehead...
and I guess I have binded that love... trapped....
and I have to live with it...
I will not ask you to be mine...
even if we are just friends...
I will be happy for you... happy that you're successful..
happy that you found another ...

"What you still have my boy... is so much to mention... but most importantly...
you still have plenty of loved ones... and they will be here for you no matter what...
what you still have... is your virtues....
treasure them... and learn to love yourself more...
and let that love overflow... and infect others....
and you will overcome all..."

"what you found... well... you found a new side of yourself... you found strength.... and wisdom...
grow.... keep growing my boy... and focus...
this is critical now...
there will be hurricanes soon... and you must overcome it...
release yourself from the horrible past my boy...
and give another angel a chance to save you...
give that angel a chance to love you... and fly with you...
I cannot give you back the things you have lost... they are forever gone dear boy... learn to accept that..."

The old man turned away...
and put on a record...
a familiar composition...
the sound of beautiful piano filled the air...
and the notes danced around me....
it was Chopin...Nocturne Op9. No.2....

and I walked away....

the rusted bell rang again...
and as I took a few steps towards the streets...
a bird flew to me...
and the bird told me that the message is well received...
I kissed the bird...
and another stream of tears flowed down my left cheek...
passing my scar... burning it...
I continued walking...

the sounds of dancing keys fading....

I got my funeral...
but it wasn't the one I wanted...

A message from a bird

A bird was carrying a message...
it flew far far away....
to a particular house.... in the middle of the street...
where tall,black gates fronts it...
a small, black sausage- like dog guards it
and fishes swim in aquariums...

The message...
sealed with hopes that the receiver will read it... and know...
that the sender...
is sorry for everything....for what has happened
sorry because everything changed and what was promised may never materialise
mostly because its a sad sad situation...

and the sender wants the receiver to know that he is happy now...
that he is moving on and letting go
that he will not be there to slow the receiver down... from achieving your happiness and dreams
and he wants the receiver to be happy too
to give the receiver space to find oneself...
because the sender could not fix you
and the sender will live his life to the fullest again
and continue being happy and bubbly like he always was
and the sender will still pray for the receiver's happiness..
like he always did...

and the sender wants you to know,
that he does not blame you anymore...
and he is thankful for all the sweet and wonderful memories you gave him..
and he will never forget them...
they will continue living in him... to remind him how special he was to you...
how much you loved him...
even though it was short... very short... but during the period, it was the one of the most romantic period of his life... his heart really melted... and he always hope that the feeling would never end...new memories constantly being created...

he is thankful because you made him into a whole new person... someone he thought he would never be... and he learnt a lot.. and he laughed a lot...
and he really poured his soul out for you...
he is thankful that you brought him genuine happiness...
he is thankful because you showed him that he is capable of loving... and most importantly, being loved...

but fate has decided that both parties have to part ways...
to walk their own roads now...
and write a new chapter...
a chapter without the other half in it...

and still... one of the most romantic thing you've done...is by dedicating "To Be With You" by David Archuleta... that song never failed to make the sender cry...
and so... the sender wants to dedicate an album to you...
"All I Ever Wanted" by Kelly Clarkson

almost all the songs in it was personally felt by the sender..
and many situations really applied to the sender and the receiver..
and lastly...
he dedicates this song to you..


Already Gone
Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

*******************************************************
How funny life can be huh?
the 1st time... it happened when the song "If I were a boy" was constantly being played..
and now its "Already Gone"....
why couldn't it be "To Be With You..."

A few sorries.. and a lot of thank yous...
he once promise he will walk with you no matter what...
if you still let him... he will...
but he guess that is not it anymore...
the sender will stop his tears now...
because you once told him that everytime he cries.. your heart is cut once..
because you once told him to be happy no matter what...
because you will be happy too..

He loves you...
always did...
and he love you enough...
to let you go...

Another scar sealed :)

Today,6th of August, marks a WHOLE NEW CHAPTER of my life.
I've been through ups and downs...
mostly happiness, fortunately, but unfortunately, that source is drained.
Yesterday, I found the answers I needed...
thanks for that... they really helped me to understand and grow...
and I am finally letting go...
needless to say its best for both parties.

For me, I can channel more energy into my studies,family and friends...
and my crazy dream :D
and I hope you can find your light too

and surprisingly!!!
today started off so nicely, Biology was awesome! lol... even non-bio students are attending because you know why?
obviously... Miss Gerald is teaching the reproductive system ==
which I am so proud to be well-educated in,
practically and theorically (shush don't ask ...)

I thought it would be boring because we are actually learning the process of gametes production...and hormones production... and the detailed parts of the gonads...in-vitro fertilisation...this and that..
as if that is really interesting...
but it turned out...
to be such an entertainment.
oh Miss G you're such a comic XD

during the class....
-males produce 100-200millions sperms everyday
Miss Gerald " Ok now I have questions, guys, do you need so many sperms?
do you guys actually need them everyday?"
Male students "Hahahaha yes we do"
Miss Gerald " you know its such a waste of ATP (energy source) and all the energy is concentrated down there and none goes to the brain... NO WONDER!" she exclaimed.
Females students " HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA " thunder-like applause...

wow.. that's a great comeback... ouch...
==

Matthew " Miss? Why do we need erectile tissues?"
Miss G " er hem... well, (gave him the "since-you-ask-for-it-and-no-I'm-not-embarassed-to-talk-about-it-look") to get an erection of course. don't you have erections?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (background)
Matthew "why do we need erections?"
Miss G *gasp*then giggled... giving him the same look "Well you need an erection to put your little penis into a girls' vagina to ensure fertilisation :D "
Another student " define put "
Miss G " O.O define put...? hahaha..."
"because with your small little penises, you can't even enter a girl's vagina.. no matter how big the body is,it wouldn't be big enough ok. even if you did enter, it would only be a quarter of it.like 5 %.
Me turning to Ah Loke immediately... giving him my wtf look...
"== LOL 5 %? .... can she be even more specific... HAHAHAHA"
"yea lo what the fuck...haha"

anyway that was Bio... haha

and the other subjects were somehow interesting again...
I don't know whether is it me being over positive or what...
LOL

next Monday is one hella important day for me....
and many other peers...
something is COMING out...
and I don't wanna type this directly because I didn't tell a particular parent..
and my cousin's producer is always reading the lines of my post...
and reporting...
so hopefully... it all will turn out marvelous for everyone :D
haha

OH OH!
I AM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR PROM!
I bought something very nice for myself 2 days ago....
and I spent like hundreds of the next odd number of 1...
because if I do type this directly again... my lovely producer will kill me..
haha
but I earned that money during Pc fair...
so, no guiltiness :Dmore photos on facebook :D
hehe and you know what?! the formal white shirt is just only 30 ringgit omg==
it was worth 100!
woohoo~~
so HAPPY!!
(this is gay but..)
clothes are still my best lovers.. haha they make me look gorgeous and they'll stay on me
to give me warmth and protection...
haha

haiz..
sad thing is... those amount of money was initially for something else...
but I guess that will never have a chance to surface itself...
may the next person be the one surprising you a particular green console then..
(lol but now I disclose it.. it wouldn't be a surprise anymore.. but I don't think you're reading this either :D)

oh! when I was in Pavillion on Tuesday...
guess what I saw...
ok.. there was some convocation for some BB girls school.. where the girls are overaged ..
but that's not the point..
I saw a Bvlgari booth...
how fortunate....
==
and I totally cannot believe my immediate response was to ran up to that salesperson..
and asked for a particular bottle..
he sprayed it on me I don't know why..
and I had to bear that scent the whole day...
as the Calvin Klien Summer collection I had on already faded during the afternoons...
how close I felt... yet so isolated...

I don't know whether was that bottle the one you always wanted...
but the one I had on was really good...
and I hesitated... I almost bought it to make it an apology gift...
but something stopped me...
I guess I wouldn't be surrounded by that scent huh... and knowing that bottle will not be from me..

lol anyway, enough of going backwards, I have already moved on.
A lion once told me, People only go backwards... when there are nothing in front of you that is attractive enough...
that really inspired me...
and I hope it does to you too... because I know, I am not the one...
and for me, my priorities which was once left aside, are on top of the list again.
A's A's A's A's and many more A's
and DOLCE AND GABBANA!
muahahahaha

CONCLUSION= How to heal a scar? Aloe Vera of course =P plenty of them....

Tears...

Ever watched touchy videos... and your hair stands up...
your heart trembles....
and a cold icy feeling run down through your spine?
sometimes the feeling is so intense... you choke up..
and tears start stirring in your eyes...
if you let go...
the warm..slow tears just runs through your cheeks..
and you feel insecure again...

I have been unhappy for quite a long time already...
and its not like I'm not showing signs...
I've waited...
and I've hinted..
and I've confronted...
but nothing is really changing...
and so it has reached my limit...
its time to move on...
and let go...

I just talked to a friend...
and he showed me some videos..
and I pressed some links..
and god...
how intense they were..
and I would love to share them to you guys..
and hope..
you guys would appreciate the people around you more...
and take control of life...
and appreciate your love ones...
and yourself...





and yeah... these questions are often asked by me...
sometimes I have the answers...
and the answers kept me going in life...
but the answers always change...
there wasn't really a constant answer..
you were once the answer to life...


and yes.. these kinda questions do pop up in my mind as well...
especially the times when I feel constant pain in my brain..
and I can't help but to guess..
that it might be something else..
and sometimes I'm scared...
if I am dying.. will there be someone for me..
or is it better to die alone...
will I be holding someone's hand for the very last second...



and I do realise...
you do not belong to me...
and all those promises will never come through..
I don't see a future in it anymore..

I am sorry to say...
there is no hope anymore...
its time for me to move on now...

Goodbye pain...

Summon summon....

Long long time ago...
my mother bought me a headset...
which is worth like RM15... it was ok la for me.. can use ma happy lo..
a long time ago...
it got spoilt halfway..LOL...
sometime ago..
when I reached my condo..
and put my books on my table..
I saw my headset snapped into half....
Cb.... sure got people use and spoilt it...
but cannot blame la.. lol already damaged halfway..

******************************************************************

yesterday I went for my briefing ..
but before that.. I left at 4pm... and reached Sungai Wang...
and we shopped...
but but before that... Christine they all went to collect their commission...
and I was left there... I went to the arcade... the second time I went there..
but I was alone... (how come I sound sad)
==
lol because somebody in particular wasn't there? maybe ... :D
so I sat and I watched the people passing by.. and the world go by...
haha anyway , we all shopped later.. because Christine needs 2 dresses for prom...
I absolutely love the yellow dress she bought ^^

after that when its 7pm we left and reached Radius hotel
and you know what?
OH MY GOD... THERE ARE LIKE 15 OF US FRIENDS ! ==
which I never knew joined...
after long hours of listening ... and laughing at jokes..
and laughing at people...
we finally got off.. at 11.30pm...
and travelled back...
and reached Wangsa Maju at 12 something..
and we ate at SBRj.. until 1 something..
and I reached my condo.. at 1.15...
very tiring..
my brain was exhausted...

********************************************************************

"for the U-Care Plus One warranty,
if the battery is...."
a hand shot up
"NO! not covered! "
and another hand was erected..
producing an AVF headset...
and the guy who just answered, grabbed it excitedly ...
and that guy was me :D
YAY!
lol I won a headset worth around 20 something?
haha so nice ^^

Goodnight.. tomorrow is war!

Conclusion =I'LL BE SELLING DELL LAPTOPS AT BOOTH BQ3 (BANQUET)
Level 3 KLCC
Do come and say hello :D
and buy a laptop from me if interested.
I'm your lovely friend,
Alexander Wong ^^

Scream...

Does it help to scream? ....
will someone hear your desperate cry for help?...
will someone know you're craving for their attention...?

in the sea of people...
does anyone stop to take a look at you when you're standing there...
in the middle, crying...
blood... dripping done your porcelain-like face...
because the tears aren't just tears...
its the scar of your heart...
that is torn apart again...
the scar that you thought would heal...
tears apart again... and digs deeper...
and bleeds...
and trickles..
into the pool beneath...

Does it help to scream...?
in the middle of the rain...
where everyone's sorrows drown yours...
and your scream isn't significant enough..
to grab other's attention...

why...
why can't screaming breaks through that barrier and reach the angel...
or maybe there's no angel...
maybe its just another lost soul in disguise....

when you scream for help...
the angel is screaming too...
but you don't know how the angel feels inside...
and you only feel the pain stirring inside of you...
and you will never know what the future holds....

but you keep holding on...
because you still believe in angels...
and you still believe in fairies..
you still believe that a pot of gold is awaiting you at the end of the rainbow...
you still truly believe that love conquers all...

and yes, maybe people may think you're naive and innocent..
but you are a believer...
and you believe....