Last time we made love met for lunch you started discussing the counseling sessions you’ve been going to. This discussion made me feel ill, out of place, not wanting to be part of this any more.  Why?  I honestly  don’t know. It made me cringe to think that I would be the reason you are attending.  I can’t believe you’re actually going and making a mockery of it.  You really don’t want to work on your marriage, you don’t want to change, you want to have it all.  Except you can’t.  You and I have something special because it only survives while we are together, it will never last beyond that. We live our lives and go on until the next time we need to be touched, caressed, wanted, kissed. 

It has taken me years to get to the point where I really see you for what you are, a distraction.  You have shown me the good and the not so good and I am so elated that you did.  I no longer wish to be with you til the end of time, I no longer need/want to know where you are and what you are doing.  All this is to me now is just a way to spend time not thinking about what’s not being given to me at home.