My life has changed. I lost my father in February. My mother 3 years ago, her mom last year.

I still live in the same place, have the same job, the same so-called “best friends,” a particular style as a writer-director.

And yet, none of this fits in quite the same way.

I’ve been trying to have the life I had, be the Tanyeno I was, live by the markers I placed. And yet, it’s suddenly not going so well. I’ve become annoyed at what I’ve built, completely disinterested in it, or disturbed at the half-bakedness of it all. My entire life looks like an unfinished project or like shoes I’ve outgrown I’ve been forcing myself to wear.  And I wanna trash them.

That might sound unrealistic. Maybe kinda crazy, so I ignore it, other days I make plans.

One day though, on Twitter, this appeared on my feed:

That, in the middle of my feed.  That.

I need a relationship with God Almighty, and Jesus Christ. I will lose some with this, because it’s ultra unpopular to say given the misguided Christians who are nothing like “their Christ.” But I want to know the Christ-God, and walk the talk.

Directing which was kind of a second fiddle-step-brother to writing, has now become more like a calling. Less like inspiration more like contact with my soul. That feels good.

So, this. Definitely.

Can you guess what draws my attention here? Love to give this a shot.

No idea.

These are my parents (best friends and married for 56 years before death did them part with hers).

I’d like to honor them with my choices.

All…