Tag Archive | career

The Outstay

Mar14

There are some important times in life to release associations, agreements, and bonds.

Like an apple or lettuce in the refrigerator going bad, most people tend to keep them beyond their natural expiration date. Least, I do!

But you “know.” Just like those items in your fridge, we KNOW which associations are over, far before we call it.

In past years, I’ve really been frozen in my life, overwhelmed navigating possible home insecurity, dealing with extreme heart breaks, deaths. And you tend to “hold onto” the set ups in your life which represent your stability, sticking with what you know as indicators of your ‘established’ lifestyle.

However, as we progress through our healing or readjustment period, we can end up holding onto connections which no longer…. FIT.

And it’s probably not anyone’s fault because- you change. Sometimes the things you value, the way you see things (and people), even the very person that was there before (in you) shifts and may no longer even be THERE.

In the last few years, I began to emerge from my ‘hard times’ cloud, and noticed all kinds of things that I hadn’t noticed before. I had been putting up with things, existing in questionable ways and had steered my way through some of these links for a number of years…

So I’d snag on a desire to continue to make them work, not really wanting anything to change.

However through time, most of the links in question were lost, though remaining in existence, because I wasn’t ready to let them go. Probably not ready to release the part of myself I knew as the person with those links. But, like an old house that no longer fits your family, it becomes “time.” Time to pack up and say goodbye.

And I see that woman, who wanted friendship, a secure job, a romantic attachment so much that she stood through the questionable bits. Standing the test of time. I see her and I send love, but in some important places I don’t want to be her any longer. Her shoes crushing my feet.

Screen Craft Fellowship

Oct27

Why not? Something to do.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Screen Craft Details:

Regular entries are due by December 30, 2015, with regular application fee of $59. Late entries must be received before the final deadline on January 15th (at 11:59PM Pacific Time) with application fee of $69.

The application fee must be paid in full at the time of the application submission. The application fee is non-refundable.

It is strongly recommended that material be registered with the WGA and or the US Copyright Office.

Applicants are not required to live in or relocate to Los Angeles but must be readily accessible via phone, email and Skype for meetings at the conclusion of the Fellowship.

All material must be submitted in PDF format or it will not be eligible.

The top finalists will be notified and invited to join a phone interview for the final selection process.

Between 2 and 4 recipients will be awarded (at the sole discretion of ScreenCraft and jury). The selected Fellowship recipients will be notified by e-mail on or about March 1st, 2016.

Finalists may be required to submit additional material and sign and return within five (5) business days of receipt a notarized Affidavit of Eligibility and a Release and any other documents that ScreenCraft or any other partner may require before receiving the award.

Failure to respond to the initial notification within ten (10) days or return of notification will result in disqualification.

ScreenCraft reserves the right to amend these rules at any time. Entrants may be required to submit further information to assist in the judges’ verification of eligibility. Any entrant may be deemed ineligible at the sole discretion of ScreenCraft.

The Oddity.

Jan31

Some years ago I came across a man through a professional organization where I worked, who seemed like the complete opposite from everything I was. In the beginning, I would peek at this man who seemed like a  weed in the wild and try to figure him out.

He seemed to take on his professional position with an easy playfulness and a vigor that was always a tad envelope pushy. He seemed to tackle people’s boundaries, openly for sport, while restraining the remainder of what he might do or say.

He was like a tiger tip – toeing.

We later ended up  interacting when he decided to be friendlier by venturing  into one of my workshops.

Well, it seemed random at the time.

So we struck up this odd but tense friendship, talking about things from perspectives that didn’t really gel. At first.

Plus, I had to strain my ear to understand what he was saying. I moved here from the midwest, and slang down there wasn’t necessarily synonymous with slang up here. So, I also had the extra challenge of trying to get what he was saying. And sometimes I wasn’t in the mood to work so hard, so I’d fake understanding. Saying “yeah” or nodding to get through.

If anyone were watching us in the early days, they would have never guessed we’d end up dating and almost marrying. We ended up spending years together, and though the outcome was as unpredictable as the challenges along the way, it remains the relationship where I learned and expanded the most as a person.

But, who knew?!?!

Just like my friend, who I’ll call “R”…. to protect her privacy.

“R” had attitude that would make “Pink” the singer’s seem like a lullaby, when I first met her. This new person entered our department in punk attire that should have warned me, but didn’t. So I extended a warm “hello,” because I know how it is to enter a new job, where you receive only looks that first day.

Riot-Girls-Takahiro-Ogawa-Grazia-UK-05

She threw me a look that said “Fuck off.” Then settled in.

It deeply disturbed me for about a week.

Horrible start for someone who’s become one of my nearest and dearest friends. I definitely would never have guessed “R” would now be like a sister  without blood.

In the last couple of years we’ve shared and talked one another through some of the most depressing, disappointing and generally demoralizing times. Encouraged one another through, or simply listened, letting each have her moments. I know there are certain things I may not have been able to turn around in the same way, without her. And she feels the same, because we say this to one another this all the time.

The point here is that, people who seem contrasting to what you are in the beginning are sometimes here with a message for your life. They’re like that obstacle on an obstacle course that strengthens you if you move past tightly held opinion.

Gifts, for the road.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself (GREAT READ)

Sep4

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
  12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
  16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
  17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

CHECK OUT ORIGINAL POST HERE.