Tag Archive | values

The Outstay

Mar14

There are some important times in life to release associations, agreements, and bonds.

Like an apple or lettuce in the refrigerator going bad, most people tend to keep them beyond their natural expiration date. Least, I do!

But you “know.” Just like those items in your fridge, we KNOW which associations are over, far before we call it.

In past years, I’ve really been frozen in my life, overwhelmed navigating possible home insecurity, dealing with extreme heart breaks, deaths. And you tend to “hold onto” the set ups in your life which represent your stability, sticking with what you know as indicators of your ‘established’ lifestyle.

However, as we progress through our healing or readjustment period, we can end up holding onto connections which no longer…. FIT.

And it’s probably not anyone’s fault because- you change. Sometimes the things you value, the way you see things (and people), even the very person that was there before (in you) shifts and may no longer even be THERE.

In the last few years, I began to emerge from my ‘hard times’ cloud, and noticed all kinds of things that I hadn’t noticed before. I had been putting up with things, existing in questionable ways and had steered my way through some of these links for a number of years…

So I’d snag on a desire to continue to make them work, not really wanting anything to change.

However through time, most of the links in question were lost, though remaining in existence, because I wasn’t ready to let them go. Probably not ready to release the part of myself I knew as the person with those links. But, like an old house that no longer fits your family, it becomes “time.” Time to pack up and say goodbye.

And I see that woman, who wanted friendship, a secure job, a romantic attachment so much that she stood through the questionable bits. Standing the test of time. I see her and I send love, but in some important places I don’t want to be her any longer. Her shoes crushing my feet.

Nugget of Better You

Apr14

I don’t believe in happy accidents (in life, tho I love them in art). I think the lessons each of us need to absorb find us from every direction.

As I was procrastinating (I surf Youtube), I found this mirror in the form of a video.

I’ll be watching it often, for the buried wisdom deep into the watch. If you like a motivational rattle from time to time, check it out.

And, wait for it…

youtube.com/watch

The World’s Blindspot

Mar27

Whether a politician, exec of an organization, men who have never seen a feminine woman in her glory, or women who carry themselves as men (psychologically)  –  are potentially harmful to women of self value.They are accidents of oppression and hate waiting to happen because…this world hates what it doesn’t know, and isn’t interested in knowing that which isn’t itself.

And to make matters worse, many women have no clue about the unique contributions women have made to the world and did not have a true model of a respected or highly regarded woman in their lives as young people. So now they contribute to the hate by failing to honor the existence of a different way at the world beyond a masculine one.

Then society looks at us for the model of how to hold us (this is why how you see and carry yourself has tremendous weight – we are creating the world by what we are doing). But as with many groups who have lived with oppression and hate, the assassination of our expression which transpired, is now internalized, and finds a way out in our interactions.

Women (eerily similar to the regard groups of color and even indigenous communities have for Caucasian values above their own) have been told for decades that a male’s expression is more valuable, so, similar to men, we have unconsciously and consciously modeled ourselves after him. And such that,  expressions of femininity find poor celebration (beyond sexualized ones) in our communities.

As with black history month, limited periods are selected for the celebration of our contributions. So we are somewhat trained, that when it is over, we no longer have to observe it. Resulting in a society that remains focused on the values of the ruling class’ as a default, the rest of the way.

This is a highly problematic equation for women, people of color, and any other minority class in society.

So we simply must cultivate pride and celebrate our individual expressions any opportunity we can. Otherwise a consistent and pervasive narrative will take over and implant expressions and mores alien to and detrimental to our own.

Finally, this undertaking is just as revolutionary as any fight waged in past years, because our main oppressions are now unconscious and internal. Supplanted from an external reality but internal all the same.

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