Some years ago I came across a man through a professional organization where I worked, who seemed like the complete opposite from everything I was. In the beginning, I would peek at this man who seemed like a  weed in the wild and try to figure him out.

He seemed to take on his professional position with an easy playfulness and a vigor that was always a tad envelope pushy. He seemed to tackle people’s boundaries, openly for sport, while restraining the remainder of what he might do or say.

He was like a tiger tip – toeing.

We later ended up  interacting when he decided to be friendlier by venturing  into one of my workshops.

Well, it seemed random at the time.

So we struck up this odd but tense friendship, talking about things from perspectives that didn’t really gel. At first.

Plus, I had to strain my ear to understand what he was saying. I moved here from the midwest, and slang down there wasn’t necessarily synonymous with slang up here. So, I also had the extra challenge of trying to get what he was saying. And sometimes I wasn’t in the mood to work so hard, so I’d fake understanding. Saying “yeah” or nodding to get through.

If anyone were watching us in the early days, they would have never guessed we’d end up dating and almost marrying. We ended up spending years together, and though the outcome was as unpredictable as the challenges along the way, it remains the relationship where I learned and expanded the most as a person.

But, who knew?!?!

Just like my friend, who I’ll call “R”…. to protect her privacy.

“R” had attitude that would make “Pink” the singer’s seem like a lullaby, when I first met her. This new person entered our department in punk attire that should have warned me, but didn’t. So I extended a warm “hello,” because I know how it is to enter a new job, where you receive only looks that first day.

She threw me a look that said “Fuck off.” Then settled in.

It deeply disturbed me for about a week.

Horrible start for someone who’s become one of my nearest and dearest friends. I definitely would never have guessed “R” would now be like a sister  without blood.

In the last couple of years we’ve shared and talked one another through some of the most depressing, disappointing and generally demoralizing times. Encouraged one another through, or simply listened, letting each have her moments. I know there are certain things I may not have been able to turn around in the same way, without her. And she feels the same, because we say this to one another this all the time.

The point here is that, people who seem contrasting to what you are in the beginning are sometimes here with a message for your life. They’re like that obstacle on an obstacle course that strengthens you if you move past tightly held opinion.

Gifts, for the road.