Monthly Archives: June 2024

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Definite Fibbing Friday

Melissa Lemay suggested words to Pensitivity101 from the Merriam Webster dictionary last week. Thanks Melissa.
How would you define these?

1. Narcolepsy

That is the irresistible urge that too many people have, to rat out friends, family, fellow students and co-workers for the slightest of perceived sins and social gaffes.  It is often noticed first in elementary school.  Miss Whittington!  Miss Whittington??!  Jason is drawing with a blue pen – not a black one, like you said to.  Too often, it continues well into their working lives, and doesn’t stop until the police and/or ambulance arrive.

2. Antediluvian

She was my Father’s ‘strange’, don’t ask – don’t tell, sister, back before ‘gender-fluid’ was invented.

3. Serrefine

That’s how the grandson describes the new, female, Jewish, foreign-exchange student in his calculus class, who looks like Gal Godot’s younger sister.

4. Guetapens

That’s a cold soup that Mexicans make, out of ice cubes and jalapeno peppers.

5. Promiscuous

This word describes the system that I use when I am trying to compose a post, or quietly read a book, and the wife discovers yet another chore for me to do.
Do you absitively, posolutely guarantee to empty the dryer when it stops, and fold all the towels??
You got it, Pontiac!
Promise her anything, but give her Arpege.

6. Tendentious

This word describes neighbour Bob’s driving abilities – or lack thereof – although I believe he’s up to 12 or 13 dents by now.  He hadn’t owned his new car a whole year, before he’d wrinkled all four corners.  Apparently he drives by ear, because he didn’t pay for the White-Cane option.

7. Kismet

He was/is the host of the old Muppet Show.

8. Autochthonous

This was drive-in services at the Satanic Temple, during COVID.

9. Macerate

This is what police officers might do to you, when they pull you over for speeding and/or dangerous driving, and you refuse an order to get out of your car.

10. Gladiolus

It was a movie, starring Russell Crowe, as a Roman general, sold into slavery, and forced to fight for his life in the coliseum.  It was a fairly good movie, and he was a fairly good actor, until he rolled over onto his Anti-Semitic side.  In vino veritas!

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I Don’t Care About Nothing

Strawman

Nihilism, often misunderstood and misrepresented, shares a common plight with philosophies such as atheism, anarchism, and Marxism. Like its counterparts, nihilism is frequently subjected to the creation of strawman arguments in public discourse, resulting in its vilification and scapegoating. In this post, I aim to demystify nihilism by providing a clear definition, description, and defense of this philosophical perspective.

First, let’s address the misconception that nihilism entails a chaotic disregard for morality and societal norms: “If life has no meaning or purpose, then anyone can do anything.” This sentiment is often echoed in discussions about nihilism, as well as anarchism and atheism. However, it presupposes a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature. Despite the absence of inherent meaning in the universe, humans are not devoid of emotions or social affinities.

It is crucial to recognize that while the universe does not impart meaning or purpose, humans have constructed various systems of meaning throughout history. Whether through moral codes, religious doctrines, or cultural norms, individuals and societies have ascribed significance to different aspects of life. These constructs provide a framework within which individuals navigate their existence, albeit one that is socially constructed rather than inherent to the universe.

Critics of nihilism often argue that the acknowledgement of life’s inherent meaninglessness leads to despair and existential angst, rendering life devoid of purpose. However, this perspective fails to account for the resilience and adaptability of human beings. While some individuals may struggle initially with the realization that there is no inherent meaning, many nihilists find liberation in embracing the absence of preordained purpose. Rather than succumbing to despair, they recognize the freedom to create their own meaning and forge their own path in life.

It is essential to understand that nihilism does not negate the validity of individual or societal pursuits. While nihilists reject the notion of inherent meaning, they acknowledge the significance of subjective meaning and the importance of human connection, fulfillment, and well-being. Whether it is pursuing personal goals, fostering relationships, or contributing to the betterment of society, nihilists recognize the value of such endeavors within the context of human experience.

In conclusion, nihilism offers a perspective that challenges conventional notions of meaning and purpose. By acknowledging the absence of inherent meaning in the universe, nihilists embrace the freedom to create their own meaning and chart their own course in life. Far from being a philosophy of despair, nihilism invites individuals to confront the uncertainty of existence with courage and resilience, recognizing the inherent value of human experience in a world devoid of inherent meaning.

Thanx to Microglyphics for saying this much better than I could, and forgiving me my trespass of reblogging it, with neither permission nor notification that I’ve done so.  Read his stuff.

In Defence of Nihilism: Embracing the Absence of Inherent Meaning ‹ Philosophics ‹ Reader — WordPress.com

 

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’24 A To Z Challenge – G

No matter where you go – There you are!

I’d have published this post earlier, but my Procrastinators Anonymous meeting started late.  😮

Johnny Cash sang, I’ve Been Everywhere.  I/we never had the time or money to be everywhere, but I’ve been to a number of interesting places.  Before I retired, I went with my brother, and swam in the ocean at Tampa, Key West, and Daytona Beach.  I took the wife, and swam at Myrtle Beach, and Charleston.  I told a Canadian Snowbird that I’d visited Myrtle Beach, and he asked me if I was into golf or tattoos.  Every third store on the main drag sells either golf equipment, tattoos, or printed tee-shirts – often about either golf or tattoos.

I’ve said that I had to retire, just to have the time to drive the wife and I, and daughter, to all our medical appointments.  Take last week – Please!  Monday I went to the hospital for a bone density scan.  Tuesday, the wife and I went to our Osteopath.  Wednesday was only a trip to a big mall, so that the wife could purchase a newer, better, smarter, more powerful, cell phone.  She had it for three days before she lost it!  😦  We got it back, but I’m going to have to keep a closer eye on her.

Thursday, I took the daughter and wife to their podiatrist.  Friday I drove the daughter and her little dog 15 miles to our veterinarian.  On Saturday, we went to a local German Club to celebrate the wife’s brother’s 80th birthday – a reminder that mine is looming on the horizon.  Sunday was a trip to the downtown park to get Ethiopian food at the Multicultural Festival.

This ‘getting old’ is not for the faint of heart.  I have learned to

GALLIVANT

  1. to wander about, seeking pleasure or diversion; gad.
  2. to go about frivolously and publicly with multiple romantic partners.

This week looks to be just as busy.   We have a chiropractor appointment.  I get a quiet afternoon while the wife gallivants for coffee with her ex-co-worker girlfriend.  We take the daughter with us for our monthly Costco restocking jaunt, and the wife and I hit several stores, including a pet store, for things Costco doesn’t carry.

Next week includes a trip back to a Toronto hospital for a final checkup on the wife’s last year’s abdominal surgery.  The first time, I made the mistake of driving.  We quickly got smart, and subsequent trips were by commuter train.  Easy-Peasy!  A 90-minute train ride to Union Station, and a 5 minute cab ride to the hospital.

On our second trip, we got back to the rail depot, carefully read the electronic schedule, and got on a train listed to go home to “Kitchener.”  Fifteen miles in the wrong direction, a comment made the conductor inform us that we were on the wrong train, despite what the schedule had said.  It wasn’t just us.  Another rider insisted that he too wanted to get to Kitchener, and a third said that he’d seen the same thing occur the week before.  Travelling without purpose – this is where the Gallivanting kicks in.

I’m still hoping to work in a trip to the metro-Toronto IKEA store for an exciting tour of their food court, but we’ve been so busy, we haven’t even had time to do a McDonalds drive-thru.  How about you??  Have you been able to gallivant??  😕

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Alternate Fibbing Friday

Last week, Pensitivity101 was offering up familiar words and asking for alternative definitions.

1. What is a nincompoop?

Is it a person with constipation??  😕  I don’t give a shit.

2. What is a Tory?

He’s the privileged, rich-bitch, British Prime Minister who doesn’t have the Grit to do what is best for the country.

3. What is a gonk?

Gonk is the term for some of the (mostly) male students I attended school with.  Back in the Neolithic Age, there were no special schools for them to attend, or special short buses to get them there.  They just disappeared into the special Opportunity Class.

4. What is a pom-pom?

That’s the butt on any of the Kardashians.  I don’t know why people have started calling them “booty.”  Booty comes in a big chest – and that’s on the other end.

5. What is a hanging basket?

That’s the shot by an NBA player, that jams between the rim and the backboard, and refuses to fall in.

6. What is micropore?

It’s a short shot, dispensed by a cheap thrifty Scottish barkeep.  Och laddie, yuv had enuf already anyway,.

7. What is a posy?

It’s a really difficult question to answer.

8. What is a barometer?

It’s a new, computer program that my local just installed.  They don’t worry about last call anymore.  I had to have a QR code tattooed on.  I scan in when I arrive, and the electronic nanny keeps track of my time spent, beers ordered, and a call from the wife automatically gets me sent home to put the bins out.

9. What is a cable?

It’s a fancy, standout stitch that the wife is putting on a sweater for the Great-grandson, using yarn that the daughter hand-spun from Dorset sheep wool.

10. What is a fib?

It’s the lie that you get from the Beyond Meat company, when they claim that their plant-based pork-rib substitute is as good as the real thing.  At least it isn’t Soylent Green.  😮  I was seriously distraught when I researched that old movie, and found out that there really is a company named Soylent Canada.  What genius named that one??  It’s like finding that someone actually built a Jurassic Park  😳  What could possibly go wrong??  😕

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Smitty’s Loose Change #25

Is religion/Christianity dangerous?

A quote, for contemplation:
Out of the blue, my mother just said, “The government should just round up all the Atheists, and either force them to convert to Christianity, or execute them!”

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I sometimes see a little 15-second PSA about cancer.  The title, in the middle of the screen reads, “I’m here because we caught it early.”  At the bottom of the screen, the ‘closed captioning’ reads, (Title) I’m here because we caught it early.  More Canadian Government money well-spent.  😮

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A wise man was asked, “What is poison?”
Anything beyond what we need is poison, whether food, power, laziness, ego, ambition, vanity, fear, anger, or whatever.

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What’s you favorite thing to cook?
The books.

Describe your most perfect day, from beginning to end.
I wake up, all warm and comfortable, in bed,,,,, and stay there.  The end!

Are you superstitious?
No!  I’m a Virgo, and us Virgos are skeptical and don’t believe in that stuff.

How would you improve your community?
By moving out – but this is where my stubborn supplier lives.

What gives your life direction?
One-Way/Do Not Enter signs – and the wife.

What sacrifices have you made in life?
Well,,,, There were those two Jehovah’s Witnesses in ’08, but there were no other witnesses, so I got away with it.

What job would you do for free?
As Richard Dawkins once said, “What an incredibly stupid question!”  If I like it enough to do it for free, it’s my hobby, and I’ll do it at home.  If I do it for a corporation, and someone gains a financial increase because of it – you better know that I’m going to want my fair share!

Do you practice religion?
No, I finally got it perfect, and no longer have to practice.

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Over a week, I had seen about a hundred of the exact same blogpost.  The blogger was publishing them about every 15 minutes during waking hours.  The title was “At The Hypnotist’s.”  The text consisted of just, “A hypnotist tricks his patients.”  Below that was a link to “Read more here.”  I finally commented, “Does this – and all the others – have any meaning or function??! And NO, I’m not going to go to clickbait.com to find out.  😕
Haven’t seen it since.

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If God was allowed in schools, these shootings wouldn’t happen.
But He’s allowed in churches, so how come He doesn’t prevent priests from molesting young boys??

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Begging For Humor

A panhandler asked me for a dollar.
I told him that I only had big bills, so he asked me for one of those.
I gave him the utility bill.

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People call me ‘Coffee,’ because I’m bitter, and most folks don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am.

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The nuns assemble in the chapel for a meeting. The Mother Superior announces that something evil has happened. “We found evidence of a man in the sleeping area.” All of the nuns gasp, except for one who mumbles a laugh: “Heh, heh, heh.” The Mother Superior continues: “And we also found a used condom in that area.” Again, all of the nuns gasp, except for one who mumbles: “Heh, heh, heh.” The Mother Superior goes on: “And we found a hole in the condom!” Then all of the nuns laugh aloud: “Heh, heh, heh!” except for one who GASPS!

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An Amazon driver stole a TV and chair valued at $5,800, delivering them to his own house. The driver was arrested and the items were delivered to the customer, who’s waiting for the driver to make bail so she can return them.

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WOMEN’S ENGLISH

No = Yes
Yes = No
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure.. Go ahead – I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
You’re.. so manly = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic. Turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
Hang the picture there = I mean hang it over there
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today that’s really going to upset you
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead

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Castle Fibbing Friday

Last week Pensitivty101’s questions were provided by Willow. Thanks Willow!
https://willowdot21.wordpress.com/

1.What is a codpiece?

An extra serving at the local fish & chips shop.

2. What is a doublet?

Two pints of stout, for the price of one, during the pub’s “Happy Hour.”

3. Who wears the hose?

That big, strong, handsome, manly-man firefighter.

4. What is a gauntlet?

It is the runway that models parade on, at fashion shows.  The scrawny, underfed models could be replaced with their 13-year-old brothers.  I can’t imagine having sex with most of them.  I might get splinters.

5. What’s kept in the moat?

A couple of cases of Newcastle Brown Ale, to keep them cool, and out of sight of the drunken ostler.

6. Where is the portcullis?

It’s a little device that the wife had installed on my liquor cabinet, which restricts my intake of red wine.  It’s like a Breathalyzer™.  Just blow into the little tube.  If you’re under the limit, it will dispense some more.
I will huff, and puff, and I will blow this damned contraption down.
How much should you spend on a bottle of wine??  About a half an hour.

7. Who wields the battle axe?

My darling wife is …. uh – does.

8. Where is the draw bridge?

Right there on the sign.

9. What is a catapult?

That’s the little “SURPRISE” game that our big feline sometimes likes to play on the dog.  Puppy will enter the living room, when suddenly, out of nowhere, the cat lands in front of her.  He’s half Maine Coon, and only slightly smaller than a Buick.  Neither the dog nor I can figure where he comes from.  I think he hides behind the wallpaper.

10. What is a flagon?

That’s what a jingoist, redneck, hillbilly, American’s got.  A flag on his front porch – a flag on his pickup truck, and even a flag tattooed on his arm.  My country – right or wrong!

 

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’24 A To Z Challenge – F

Fee, Fie, Foe, F**k
I smell the scent of a French-fry truck.

I am famished!
I want some food.
I want it soon
I want it in a hurry
I want some food – fast.
I want some fast-food.
But most of all, I want some food at no cost, because

FREE

is my favorite flavor.
Sadly, as Robert Heinlein said, TANSTAAFL.
There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.

Everything comes at a cost.  Like the sign in many a truck says, “Ass, gas or grass – Nobody rides free.”

Now that I’ve doled out all this folksy lore, BUCKSHEE – a term I picked up from a Newfie, deriving from the Indian expression, baksheesh – a tip, present, gratuity, or alms – roughly speaking, fer free – I would appreciate it if you paid me back with some visits, likes and comments.   😀

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Quora Challenge – Death

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS KILLED SOMEONE?

Sadly, yes!  Not police or Armed Forces.  Back in the bad old days when drinking and driving was a National Sport, in the late ‘40s and ‘50s, bar-crawlers near me didn’t foul their own nest.  If they wanted to get drunk and obnoxious, and make fools of themselves, they did it in another town, so that their wives and neighbors didn’t know about it.  😉

My uncle and a friend drove 25 miles north.  That’s where they met my soon-to-be Father, back from the War, and introduced him to my Mother, so that I could come to be.  Another local man drove to a town 25 miles south each Saturday night.

The road out to the highway used to end at a T-intersection, but with increased traffic, the Department Of Highways had installed a curved, merge-ramp.  Early one Sunday morning, three – or four – or five – sheets to the wind, he came screaming around that bend.  He sideswiped a carload of tourists, pushing them across the road, through a shallow ditch, and into a tree.

Before seatbelts or airbags, he killed the Father/driver, two young, loose, kids in the backseat, and badly smashed up the passenger/mother.  He got a fine, a suspended sentence, and a talking-to from the judge.  He owned a furniture store, and also ran the funeral home.  The dark joke was that he was drumming up customers.

Properties on our edge of town tended to be large.  My Mother bought an acre of land with her house.  A block away, another couple owned a large piece.  Their daughter grew up, and decided to marry a self-employed plumber.  They severed a house-lot at the corner of their land, and he had a house built, literally a walk through the garden to his in-laws.

Somehow, he also managed to kill someone with his work-truck.  He also escaped jail, but had a HUGE civil judgement against him.  It would have guaranteed that he and his wife would have lived in poverty for the rest of their lives.  Every dollar he made would have been seized to pay the debt

Back before there were laws to prevent it, suddenly, She owned everything.  The house and property were in her name.  The truck was in her name.  The tools were in her name.  The supplies were in her name, and he was a dollar-a-year employee, for tax purposes.  He had to be a good little boy husband from then on, because she had him right by the short and curlies wallet.

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Spinning a Yarn FF

Last week’s Fibbing Friday questions were provided by Jim Adams
https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/

Thanks Jim.

 

1.Rumpelstiltskin spun straw into gold in exchange for what?

Bitcoin.

2. What did humans do before the bobbin was invented?

The drunken sport of getting apples out of a tub of water without using your hands, involved spears.

3. What is the difference between knitting and crocheting?

In crocheting, you can’t use the cutesy pun, TINKing to describe unknitting stitches to correct a mistake.

4. What does a drop spindle do?

Dispenses liquid dough into hot oil, at the doughnut-ball fair food kiosk.

5. What does a painted pony have to do with a spinning wheel?

George Dubya said that he tried marijuana, but he didn’t inhale.  Barack Obama was honest enough to admit that he inhaled.  THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT!  If you can quote 1969 lyrics, you didn’t inhale, you didn’t drop out, and you didn’t drop acid – which might explain a painted pony.

Pedantic BTW:  The Blood, Sweat & Tears song doesn’t sing about a yarn-making spinning-wheel.  It refers to the constantly-spinning Wheel of Life.

6. If you stick a needle in your eye, does that show sincerity?

I have never seen the word Stupidity spelled like that.  I have let four doctors, on three occasions, stick needles in my eyes.  I Can See Clearly Now.

7. What was Barthélemy Thimonnier known for?

He was the famous opera singer that the Singer sewing machine was named after.  It was a much better marketing ploy.  Just imagine owning a Thimonnier.

8. What happened in the Golden Age of sewing?

Special clothing was made for King Midas.

9. What breed of sheep makes the best wool?

It’s a breed called “Pittsburgh,” developed by US Steel on a farm just outside the city.  My mother used the yarn to knit a Volkswagen.

10. What happens when the cotton field gets rotten?

You’d better not get sick.  You won’t be able to get medications out of their containers, because you can’t pick very much cotton.