Monthly Archives: April 2025

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Religious Thoughts From Atheists

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

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When people share their beliefs, they also share their insecurities about their beliefs, and sharing is a way to harvest validation.

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“Faith allows an evasion of those difficulties which the atheist confronts honestly. And to crown all, the believer derives a sense of great superiority from this very cowardice itself.” Simone de Beauvoir

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For those who claim that the Bible is inerrant – Jeremiah 8:8 – “How can we say that we are wise, and the law of the Lord is with us?”  But behold, the lying pen of the scribes has made it into a lie.  This is the Bible itself, saying that the Bible is intentionally dishonest.

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Religion poisons everything.
Christopher Hitchens

We are all Atheists about most of the gods that mankind has invented.  Some of us just go one god further.
Richard Dawkins

God is dead.  God remains dead.  And we have killed him.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever conceived.
Isaac Asimov

I would rather live my life as if there were no God, and find out there was, than live my life as if there were a God, and find out there wasn’t.
Albert Camus

All thinking men are Atheists.
Ernest Hemingway

Atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world.  It is simply a refusal to deny the obvious.
Sam Harris

You are—your life, and Nothing Else.
Jean-Paul Sartre

Beliefs don’t change facts.  Facts, if you are rational, should change your Beliefs.
Rickey Gervais

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
Carl Sagan

An Atheist believes that a hospital should be built, instead of a church.
An Atheist believes that a deed should be done, rather than a prayer said.
Madeline Murray O’Hair

Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
Voltaire

If you’re an Atheist, you don’t have to explain why bad things happen to good people.
Salman Rushdie

One can’t prove that God does not exist, but science makes God unnecessary.
Stephen Hawking

For an Atheist, all religions are the same.  He is against the very institution of religion.
Javed Ahktar

Religions are like fireflies.  They require darkness to shine.
Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.
Mark Twain

I think all the great religions of the world are both untrue, and harmful.
Bertrand Russell

 

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’25 A To Z Challenge – B

What will you never hear a Millennial say??

BACK IN MY DAY…

I mean, what are they gonna say??!  Remember when flash-drives could only hold a MB of data, and they cost $100?  Now they can hold a terabyte of information, and they’re 3 for $9.99.

I’ve done a couple of these Back in my day/Remember when posts, to remind my older readers that the GOOD OLD DAYS weren’t all that good, and to show some of the younger ones what they’re lucky to have missed.

Social development, especially technological, is not linear.  It is more logarithmic.  It is not 1+1=2, 1+2=3. 1+3=4.  It is more like 1+2=3, 2+3=5, and 5+4=9.  As Isaac Newton said, If I have seen farther than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.  The slant of the bell curve gets steeper and steeper.

Change that used to take a century, and then a year, and then a month – now happens in a week.  I am proud of Canada, and especially my local Kitchener/Waterloo area, with its RIM Park, and a Google branch as big as its parent.  It can be a rough ride, and some people have a hard time holding on, but change is inevitable, and must be embraced.  I suppose that those who can’t hack it, can always be hewers of wood and drawers of water – and makers of MAGA hats.

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Fibbing Friday #262

Last week’s words from Pensitivty101, were put forward by Susan of The Abject Muse.  Thanks Susan!
Your definitions please!

These are all Syns Of The Fathers.  Apparently, Mothers never Syn.

1. Synergy

Wasn’t this that ‘Too Big To Fail’ gas and oil company that went down like the Titanic in 2001??!

2. Synonym

This is the name of the local Friendly Girl.  Often found on washroom partitions, under For A Good Time Call XXX-XXXX.

3. Synchronicity

I have finally learned how to be exactly as late as my doctor.  On my initial visit, he had me arrive at 6:30 AM to fill out forms, for a 7:00 o’clock appointment.  He wandered in at 7:05, disappeared, perhaps for a coffee, and at last saw me at 7:20.  😮

4. Syncopate

This is when the wife and I completely agree on any given subject.  It happens once 0.732 in a blue moon.

5. Synopsis

My parents had to keep a close eye on my female sibling.  Her Purity Pledge ring was beginning to show serious corrosion.

6. Synaesthesia

This is AI-produced, artificial pleasure and enjoyment.  It won’t be long before we shed our bodies, and live inside computer simulations.  We will voluntarily let The Matrix win.

7. Synaptosome

This is what Donald Trump, et al, lack.  A doctor examined The Donald, and declared him sane and fit to be President.  Now, I want the doctor examined, to see if he is sane, and fit to practice medicine – although I have some sympathy for him.  If he had given any other ruling, he might have been run over by a car…. in his living room, or fallen to his death from a ground-floor window.

8. Synanthropes

These are cynical ‘Good Christians’ who are loudly judgmental of other people’s failings, but sow their own wild oats from Monday to Saturday, and then go to church on Sunday, to pray for crop failure.

9. Synagogal

It is no wonder that the best lawyers are Jewish.  They’ve spent 5000 years arguing and negotiating with God.

10 Synaptid

That’s the sound of me opening my first cold one of the day.  Yum, yum, Waterloo Dark Lager, almost as good as Newcastle Brown Ale.

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The Word Is – One-Liners

The first rule of Thesaurus Club is that you do not….
…. talk, whisper, chatter, mumble, rant, articulate, prattle, babble, describe, divulge, drone, confer, deliberate, squeal, converse, discourse, orate or speak about Thesaurus Club.

An obese psychic is….
….a four-chin teller

My momma didn’t raise no fool….
….but if she did, it was my brother

It was so much more fun being 20 in the 70s….
….than being 70 in the 20s.

Today I accidently locked my coat hanger in my car….
….Fortunately, I had my keys.

Acting perfect in church….
….is like dressing up for an X-ray

For musicians who want a perfect sound….
….Stay tuned.

A meeting without food….
….should be an email.

Any stairway can be a stairway to Heaven….
….if you’re clumsy enough.

If I agreed with you….
….we’d both be wrong.

Someone stole all my limbo trophies….
….How low can you go?

I don’t have the faintest idea….
….why I passed out.

All the excitement about an eclipse….
….seems pretty shady to me.

The only substitute for good manners….
….is fast reflexes.

I wish I was full of tacos….
….instead of emotions.

Wind chimes are….
….a sound investment.

Don’t fly Virgin Atlantic Airlines….
….They never go all the way.

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Fibbing Friday #261

Definitions from Pensitivity101 last week. What can you come up with for these please?

Of all my relations…. I like sex the best.  It used to be my favorite indoor sport. I was an Olympic gold medalist.  Now I’m permanently disqualified.  You’ll notice a theme below.


1. Embiggen

It’s what you hope to get from visiting porn sites.

2. Eargasm

It’s what you get from visiting those $3.99/minute, Talk Dirty To Me phone lines.

3. Erumpent

Doin’ it doggy-style

4. Eldritch

Having ritual intercourse during a coven meeting

5. Epizootic

Having sex with an animal – this applies to men only.  Many women have a similar, but different, problem.

6. Frabjous

This is the cool-down period after an energetic horizontal tango session – or when you have to pull out your wallet, to pay for services rendered.

7. Floo-fla

Brits call this a fanny.  It’s what many Americans call Trump.

8. Fipple

Front door only?  No going around to the servants’ entrance??  But it’s my birthday!

9. Floop

Honest honey, this has never happened to me before.  Maybe if you talked to it a little, gave it a little kiss?

10. Fizgig

Was it good for you?

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LET IT ALL OUT!

I have nothing to rant or comment about, so this week it’s your turn.  Just lie down on the couch, and tell kindly, old Doctor Archon all about it.

It’s your opportunity to vent about whatever it is that drives you crazy – a husband who wears socks with holes in the toes, a wife whose recipe for chicken stew should have been banned by the Geneva Convention, a Karen neighbor who desperately needs a smack in the head with a diarrhea-filled diaper, a boss who’s risen to the Peter Principle level of incompetence, Taylor Swift, MAGA, influencers.  😮

Your blood pressure, and fellow-readers, will thank you.   😀

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’25 A To Z Challenge – A

AGATE

Is a way through afence – unless you go in stile.

Marbles were originally made from little broken pieces of marble – hence the name.  Now, most ‘marbles’ are molded from glass.  Hmmm, glass marbles??!  That’s as self-contradictory as plastic glasses – both kinds.

“Aggies,” the more often and more roughly-used playing marbles, also known as taws, were made from agate, a super-hard, super-strong, ultra-compressed type of sandstone.  The pleasing stripe/swirl patterns were created when the original sand was disturbed by waves or water currents, before it became extra-compacted.

I recently saw a video where an excited man pulled a dinner-plate-sized stone from the edge of some water.  He took it home and split it in half with a special saw. (Video agate coral)  The pattern inside was gorgeous.  He claimed that it was a special type of agate, composed of fossilized coral.

I thought agate was only the sandstone type, but I guess I was wrong.  (Hey, could happen??)  I suppose that the same thing occurring, in the same place, under the same conditions, to two similar materials, rates the same name.

I’m gonna roll on out of here.  Be careful on your way out.  I think I picked up all the aggies, but….  😉

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Fibbing Friday #260

Last week the questions were from Pensitivity101’s monthly newsletter

  1. Who made the first manned hot air balloon flight in 1783?

That was Donald Trump’s great-great-grandfather.  He was giving an extended oration in Ulm, about making The Germanies great again, from a small rostrum with a light, linen pavilion over it.  Finally, all that inflamed rhetoric began to accumulate, the canopy filled with his hot air, and like Ed Asner in the animated movie, he floated Up and away, leaving some in his audience muttering about delusions, egos, and bankruptcies.

  1.  Which is the more widely used around the world, cow’s milk or goat’s milk?

Probably cow’s milk, because the average cow produces the weight of two goats in milk each day, but with Woke, and Veganism, it’s losing ground, being replaced by soy milk, almond milk, rice milk, oat milk coconut milk, and hemp milk.

Soy milk is its largest competitor, because it’s readily available all through Asia.  But soy milk contains chemicals that mimic the female hormone, estrogen, producing passive, peaceful, and patient behavior.  You don’t see soy-milk cheese slices on Trump’s, or Putin’s, McDonald’s cheeseburgers.

  1.  What does the word “Canada” mean?

“Donald Trump’s whipping boy”

  1.  True or False, an adult male baboon can kill an adult leopard?

True!  Especially in States that allow concealed carry without a license.

  1.  Which U.S. State has the nickname “Hawkeye”?

That would be Maine, where the most famous character in the M.A.S.H. book/movie/TV series hailed from.  It wouldn’t be Iowa.  That’d be just nuts.

  1.  In which decade of the 19th Century did Christmas Day become a national U.S. holiday?

The Festival of Conspicuous Consumption??  It was probably the final decade, but it was the one when Madison Avenue stopped selling us what we needed, and could use, and started selling us on the idea that there were things that we should pay outrageous prices for, so that we felt good about ourselves, and looked good to other people.

  1.  Which strong cheese, made from ewe’s milk and stored in caves, is named after a village in France?

The village is Gruyėre, and that is the name of one of three types of cheese made near the Swiss Alps.  The little holes in the cheeses are actually part of the cave, which has been shrinking over time.  In ten years they will have to be made in Emmanuel Macron’s basement.

  1.  Who painted “Whistler’s Mother”?

A little bourbon, a little grass, a little acid, a little body paint – coulda been anyone.  Coulda been everyone.  Probably was.  She doesn’t know who Whistler’s Father was.

  1.  In Denmark they are known as “laks” what are they known as in English?

Toupees, or wigs

  1.  Approximately what percentage of humans are left-handed?

It’s about 10%, but it would probably be higher if it weren’t for the number of southpaws that right-handed tools slay each year.  Right-handed scissors, in left hands, kill more people than fentanyl overdoses.  Right-handed can openers cause lefties to die from frustration and heart attacks!

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Inertial Dampers

First of all – the correct word is “dampers,” a hindrance, or restraint, not ‘dampeners,’ which just make things wet.
It’s been wrong for so long, that now it’s right.

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If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, some people should have their head registered.  Today’s world, and the science and technology that runs it, are becoming more and more complicated.  Sadly, many people, especially Christian fundamentalists, want comforting, simple answers to complex questions.

There really are such things as stupid questions.  We can skip by the Flat Earthers, the moon-landing skeptics, the climate-change deniers, and the COVID conspirators, and proceed directly to the likes of the young man who asked his girlfriend why the Earth wasn’t constantly getting lighter because of all the ores that were being dug out of it.  Or the Christian theist who called an Atheist podcast to PROVE the existence of God, because otherwise, “What holds the Earth up in space??”

Nobody can know everything about everything – although, I come close – just ask me.  Or don’t ask me, I’ll tell you, anyway.  In a recent discussion about time travel, commenter-supreme, John Erickson posed a very non–stupid question.

And here’s one to shoot down all the time travelers. Everybody moves through time, but always land on the same X/Y/Z co-ordinates. BUT – the planet that they launch from (usually, but not limited to, Earth) is moving through space, around a star that is also moving through space, in a galaxy that is also moving through space. So how come they always stay in the same spot? That has always bugged the censored out of me!

The short answer is INERTIA!  Everything is moving along with everything else.  Even though you take a shortcut (or a long cut, depending on your direction of travel) through the N/Temporal, subspace dimension, the rest of the physical dimensions continue in their assigned speeds and directions, ready to meet you when you pop out.

A Flat Earther posted a video to refute the claim that the Earth is a globe, rotating at 1000 miles per hour, (at the equator) by sticking his head and cellphone camera out the window of a car travelling at 60MPH.  “See how even 60MPH musses my hair??  We can’t be travelling at 1000MPH!!”  He completely missed the fact that the air in the car travelling at 60, or a train travelling at 100, or an airplane travelling at 500MPH wouldn’t muss his hair, because it was travelling along with him, at the same velocity, just like the atmosphere of Earth does.

That’s the Carl Sagan Memorial University inspirational message for today.  I hope to see you here again in a couple of days – unless you time-travel, and got here yesterday.  I’ll be in the same old spot.

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Work From Home Comedy

I signed up for a Zoom workout meeting that was too advanced for me.  So when the instructor said, “Do a plank, and then bring your knee to the opposite elbow.” I did a modified version, where I turned the feed off and made pancakes.

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A man went to see his Rabbi. He stated in a very serious tone, “”Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”
The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”
The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.”
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked, “How can that be?”
The man then pleaded, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?”
The Rabbi then said, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”
A week later the Rabbi called the man and said, “Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?”
The man anxiously replied, “Yes.”
“Take the poison,” said the Rabbi.

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An angry man walks into a bar and throws himself on a stool. He motions to the bartender, “Give me a whiskey. Quick!” “Something bothering you?” asks the bartender as he pours the whiskey. “It’s lawyers!” the angry man exclaims. “They’re all jerks! Every single one of them!” Another customer at the bar looks over and says, “You better take that back!” “Why? Are you a lawyer?” the angry man shouts. “No,” the customer replies. “I’m a jerk!”

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I feel much better now that I have switched from coffee to orange juice in the morning.  My doctor explained that it is the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

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I just read a book titled 100 Things To Do Before You Die.
I was rather surprised that one of them wasn’t, “Yell for help.”