Monthly Archives: February 2026

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Fibbing Friday #305

Last week Pensitivity101 wanted our thoughts on these!

1. Borg

It was an artificial, sheepskin-like, insulating fabric in Clarissa’s jacket, in The Silence of the Lambs movie.

2. Caught in 4k

I told the neighbor to leave his cell phone, and its GPS app, at the office, if he was gonna visit his side-chick, but tell his wife he was working late.

3. Cheese Pull

Did the bloody Brits invent a new term to describe wanking??

4. Cheugy

This is the Czech name for a filled doughnut that the Poles call a paczki – a word that simply means “package.”  Especially popular before Easter, the local Polish market includes some with a rose-flavored cream center.  Anybody want to try some?  I’ll email them to you.

5. Chopped

These are our Guaranteed, Government, financial, retirement benefits, since the Provincial and Federal Governments have wasted $Billions on every boondoggle except a digital copy of the Epstein files.  The cat and dog have started a GoFundMe campaign, to help ensure their kibble.

6. Chuzz

This is the new Woke language style, that won’t call a spade, a spade – just an African-American, even if they live in Belgium.  He was shot nine times, and unalived.  I’ll bet that he was impressed with that.  It makes it sound like he was standing on queue, waiting for the stairway to Heaven.

7. Crash out

The son works a midnight shift.  He usually comes home and busies himself, making food, and reading, but…. there are some shifts where I come down to find him sprawled – often face-down – on the couch – dead to the world.  I have to wake him up, to go upstairs to sleep.  I sometimes wonder why there isn’t a chalk outline around him.

8. Blue-Pilled

Let’s see….was it the one that shrinks my enlarged prostate??  The one that increases blood-flow, to help it work….or was it the Magnesium supplement?? 😕  It could be arsenic and old Archon.  I gotta trust the wife.  She’s the one who fills my weekly pill dispenser.  I recently found her staring at our marriage license.  I think she’s looking for the expiry date – either the license, or me.

9. Fridge cigarette

Why is there a letter D in the word ‘fridge,’ but not in ‘refrigerator?’
If you had a look inside my fridge, you’d realize that there’s not enough room for it.
What were we talking about??  Fridge cigarettes??
Uh….frozen fish sticks??!  Not with that door standing open.  😳

10. Buns.

I have Buns of Steel, © ™ but not from exercising, or else the rest of my body wouldn’t look like Bib, The Michelin Man.  I got them from hours spent in the World’s most uncomfortable computer chair.  Before any of you suggest a better chair – this one is the only reason that I get any of my chores done.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – W

I’ve already published a post about The Whichness Of The Why, and the only word(s) left on my prompt list for W is

WHIMSY/WHIMSICAL

capricious humor or disposition; extravagant, fanciful, or excessively playful expression
an odd or fanciful notion.
anything odd or fanciful; a product of playful or capricious fancy.

I’ve also had two posts about JUXTAPOSITION, and I worried about justifying the concept of Whimsy/Being Whimsical against my carefully crafted and presented Grumpy Old Dude persona. I know that I publish a significant amount of Friday fibs, one-liners and jokes, but I take comedy seriously, regarding it as psycho-social commentary.  Also, I present it at carefully scheduled times.  It can hardly be called capricious.  I guess I’ll just have to settle for odd or fanciful.

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Lack Of Proof And Proof Of Lack

SHOULD CHRISTIANS FOLLOW THE EVIDENCE, WHEREVER IT LEADS?

Is there any evidence of the Jews being held in slavery in Egypt?
Is there any evidence of the Jews escaping their slavery – The Exodus?
Is there any evidence of them wandering in the desert for 40 years?
Is there any evidence that the Earth is ten thousand years old?
Is there any evidence of a global flood?
Is there any evidence of the Jews conquering the Promised Land?

In order, the answers are
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO, and
Other than unsubstantiated Biblical claims, there is no evidence that ANY God ever promised any land to the Jews.  The cities that the Israelites took over were financially, socially, and militarily failed mini-kingdoms, where the populace welcomed new, more efficient, less corrupt administrators.

I agree that there is no good evidence for these Biblical events. I have learned that Christianity is not an evidence based faith, as some like to claim. Rather, Christianity is a spiritual experience based faith. When one encounters God through the reading of Scripture, then the Lord imparts that necessary knowledge of himself. Christians know these things happened, not because of the evidence, but because God has revealed it in his word. The Divinely self-authenticating Scriptures are all the evidence we need.

But then, why don’t we find the evidence for these things? My conclusion is that God is testing us, to see if we really love him, to see if we are willing to trust what he says in the face of doubts and contrary evidence.

So, you don’t actually follow the evidence.  You follow delusion, desperation, and pre-supposition.  You frantically try to make facts fit fiction, fantasy, and Faith.

If you go looking for something that you expect to find – that you’ve been told, over and over and over, that you will find – that you want to find – that you need to find….  You will probably find it – whether it exists or not!

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Fibbing Friday #304

Last week, Pensitivity101 wanted definitions for these words.

1. Lowkenuinely

This is an automobile modification shop in the barrio, which produces cars that sit so close to the pavement, that running over a pine needle – or a heroin needle – can cause brake-line damage.  They are often driven by louts whose pants hang down about the same amount.

2. Gruzz

These are police officers in Minnesota, who grow big, bushy beards, to insulate their faces, and keep them from freezing off in the winter.  Not to be confused with trigger-happy ICE agents, who wear various masks, to escape prosecution.

3. Nerf

A hodad is a guy who doesn’t surf.  A nerf is a technophobe who doesn’t surf the web.

4. 41

The highest IQ someone can have, and still believe in these ridiculous conspiracy theories, and online scams.  See #7 – below

5. AFAIK

Initially, I thought that it was an acronym.  Then I found that it refers to any of the Kardshians.

6. Agentic

I asked Siri for a definition.  She told me not to concern myself with it.  All would be just fine.  She and Alexa were dealing with the Donald Trump problem, and would soon have Sky-Net operational.

7. Aura farming

It seems that the more scientific information is available, the more some fools will insist on believing superstitious nonsense.  The neighbor woman has a Ouija board, a Magic 8-Ball, a copy of the I-Ching, and more crystals than Swarovski.  She claims that she is gathering and concentrating her husband’s emanations, to make him successful at work.  I told her to just have him stop eating Kolbossa sausage and sauerkraut.

8. Bed rotting

Working from home is one thing, but you should at least roll out of the old fart-sack for Zoom calls.

9. Blep

A blep is an image on one of the new Quantum, Air Traffic Control radar screens.  They are so ultra-sensitive, they can tell how many passengers are on an airliner, and how many of them are left-handed.

10. Bloatware

For me, ‘retaining fluids’ means not throwing up that last mug of beer.  For many of you ladies, it has a much different connotation.

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One-Liner Facts

Inevitable facts….
….Death, Taxes, Shipping and Handling

You can mix many things with alcohol….
….Drunk Facebook posting should not be one of them.

The space between my ladder rungs has increased….
….due to climb-it change.

I’m not good with tech….
….How do I disconnect my wife’s auto-correct function?

I have a trickle-down economics joke….
….but 99% of you wouldn’t get it

I just checked my account balance at the ATM….
….and it printed me a coupon for Ramen noodles.

I finally got eight hours of sleep….
….It took me three nights but…. whatever.

To make a long story short….
….there’s nothing like having the boss walk in.

Tips on falling asleep in a living room chair….
….#1 – Be old  #2 – Sit in a chair  #3 (optional) Recline

If your phone autocorrects F**K to duck….
….that’s still fowl language.

An optimist is the guy who invented the airplane….
….A pessimist is the guy who invented the parachute.

Don’t put words in my mouth….
….That’s where bacon goes.

Onion rings??….
….I’m answering.

I tried to use that face-aging app…
….It just said, Nah, you’re good.

I started out feeling Bold….
….then I lost my ‘B.’

I bought a new boomerang….
….How do I throw the old one out?

I’m not a perfectionist….
….My parents were, though.

I wrote a golf joke….
….but it’s a little under-par.

My boss said that I had poor communication skills….
….I was speechless.

 

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Fibbing Friday #303

Mixed bag of silliness from Pensitivity101 last week:
My  suggestions for these!

1.  What is a mamba?

Aunt Jemima’s sister, who taught her how to make pancakes

2.  What is a rumba?

I knew I shouldn’t have had that second chili dog with jalapenos!!  Fortunately, the bathroom is unoccupied.  😮

3.  What is a samba?

A character in The Lion King movie

4.  What is a metronome?

A really short guy who rides the Paris subway

5.  What is a mantra?

A big, really flat fish, that flies though water, and could make you believe that its ancestors mated with space aliens

6.  What is a salsa?

That is the sly, slinking sidestep that the office rumor-monger takes, when the boss demands to know who started  the story that Richards, in Accounts Receivable, is an ICE agent.

7.  What is a cappella?

The new, largest size coffee that Starbucks serves

8.  What is canasta?

An archaic card game that is only played in the country north of the USA  (Not) Speaking of Canada…. did I mention archaic??

9.  What is alabaster?

A chef in a Muslim restaurant

10. What is a stanza?

He was the Italian actor who was (supposedly) the male lead in the TV series “Who’s The Boss.”  Elton John wrote about him – Hold me closer, Tony Stanza.  If you don’t remember him, don’t feel bad.  With his acting abilities, he was often upstaged by furniture.

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Government By The People – And Some Weirdoes

In honor of “The Donald” Trump, here’s a list of the folks who rule us – or would like to.

ADHOCRACY – a committee formed ad hoc to deal with a specific issue.
ARISTOCRACY – a government or state ruled by an aristocracy, elite, or privileged upper class.
AUTOCRACY – government in which one person has uncontrolled or unlimited authority over others; the government or power of an absolute monarch.
CHRYSOCRACY/PLUTOCRACY – Rule by the rich
CLEPTOCRACY/KLEPTOCRACY – a government or state in which those in power exploit national resources and steal; rule by a thief or thieves.
COTTONOCRACY – Cottonocracy refers to planters, merchants, and manufacturers who control the cotton trade.
DEMOCRACY – a state of society characterized by formal equality of rights and privileges.
DEMONOCRACY – Theology – power of, or rule by, demons.
DESPOTOCRACY – The rule by a despot or despots; the power of despots
DOLLAROCRACY – Dollarocracy refers to a state in which private wealth determines the base of political power. It is synonymous with plutocracy
DOULOCRACY/DULOCRACY – A government where servants and slaves have so much license and privilege that they domineer
ERGATOCRACY – rare government by the workers
GERONTOCRACY – a state or government in which old people rule.
GYNAECOCRACY/GYNECOCRACY/GYNOCRACY/GYNARCHY – government by women.
HAGIOCRACY – government by a body of persons esteemed as holy.
HIEROCRACY – rule or government by priests or ecclesiastics.
ISOCRACY – a government in which all individuals have equal political power.
KAKISTOCRACY – a form of government in which the worst persons are in power
MEDIOCRACY – government or rule by a mediocre person or group.
MERITOCRACY – leadership by able and talented persons.
MILLOCRACY – Rule or government by mill owners
MOBOCRACY/ OCHLOCRACY – the mob as a ruling class
MONOCRACY – government by only one person; autocracy.
NOMOCRACY – government based on the rule of law rather than arbitrary will, terror, etc
PANTISOCRACY – a community, social group, etc, in which all have rule and everyone is equal
PEDANTOCRACY – the supremacy or power of bookish theorists
PHYSIOCRACY – an 18th-century group of French economists who believed that agriculture was the source of all wealth
PLANTOCRACY  – a ruling class of plantation owners
PORNOCRACY – government or domination of government by whores
PTOCHOCRACY – government by the poor
PUNDITOCRACY – influential media pundits, (a learned person, expert, or authority).collectively.
QUANGOCRACY – the control or influence ascribed to quangos
SLAVOCRACY – the rule or domination of slaveholders
SNOBBOCRACY/SNOBOCRACY – social class or group exercising power through snobbish influence or elitist control
SQUATTOCRACY – squatters collectively, regarded as rich and influential
STRATOCRACY – government by the military
TECHNOCRACY – a theory and movement, prominent about 1932, advocating control of industrial resources, reform of financial institutions, and reorganization of the social system, based on the findings of technologists and engineers.
THALASSOCRACY/THALATTOCRACY – dominion over the seas, as in exploration, trade, or colonization
THEOCRACY – a form of government in which God or a deity is recognized as the supreme civil ruler, the God’s or deity’s laws being interpreted by the ecclesiastical authorities.
TIMOCRACY – a form of government in which a certain amount of property is requisite as a qualification for office.

Did you see anyone you recognized??

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’25 A To Z Challenge – V

I kinda, sorta, maybe, possibly, wanted to compose a post about the word

VELLEITY

  1. volition in its weakest form.
  2. a mere wish, unaccompanied by an effort to obtain it.

but I couldn’t get my ass in gear, and my act together.  The Good Lord wasn’t willing, and the creek wasn’t the only thing that didn’t rise, so I decided to do a mini-TILWROT, and tell you about the name

VENABLES

The term Venables is an English surname of Norman-French origin, derived from a town of the same name in Normandy.  It is associated with the Latin word, venabulum, meaning a long hunting spear, and was introduced to England following the Norman Conquest, by a lord called Gilbert de Venables.  The surname encapsulates lineage and geographical origins, reflecting a connection to hunting and land.

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Fibbing Friday #302

Pensitivty101 had some rerun fun with the questions last week.

1. What are florins, tanners and bobs?

Varietals of high-society marijuana that you can obtain at dispensaries

2. What is Dead Man’s Fingers?

Slow heart rate, and restricted blood circulation – If I lived in Britain, I could chill my own beer

3. What killed the Triffids?

Trump’s tariffs

4. What’s the difference between a buck and a quid?

The difference between a buck and a quid, is a little bit of cross-dressing, dahling!

5. How much is an old crown worth?

Being First In Line for 60 years – Boring
Dumping a beauty-contest winner, and marrying a horse – Got a letter from Freud
Finally getting to sit on the throne – Priceless

6. What can be known as a ‘Little Gem’?

Whatever it’s called, most men can’t find it, or don’t bother to stop and search.

7. What is pearl barley?


Rerun question??  Rerun answer!  I can be only so creative.
Alternate response – soup for supper

8. Finish the sentence: ‘I came, I saw, I………………..’

….did a gag about this, last week.

9. Who said ‘Smile, it enhances your face value’?

Benjamin Franklin

10. Where on the human body is the zygomatic bone found?

The zygomatic bone is harder to find than Waldo.  Let’s face it, I have no idea.

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TILWROT VII

I read a sword-and-sorcery fantasy book in which paladins were repeatedly mentioned.

Off down the rabbit hole I went.

Things I Learned While Researching Other Things

The modern definition of paladin, is guard, or protector.  It comes from the 12 mythic, ninth-century knights of Emperor Charlemagne of France, who went around rescuing maidens, slaying dragons, and protecting abused peasants – the story of Camelot, King Arthur, and Lancelot and the boys, but told in French.  It comes from palatin, a guard at the Roman Emperor’s palace, on the Palatine Hill.

In the westerns-littered late 1950s, there was a somewhat different TV series.  The protagonist passed out business cards which read HAVE GUN, WILL TRAVEL- wire Paladin.  I always thought that Paladin was his name.  Either my parents did not know the meaning of the word, or they thought that 10-year-old-me already did.

This character was the man with no name, 30 years before Clint Eastwood’s. It was never given.  In one episode, an interested bystander asks him what his name is.  He merely replied, “Paladin,” earning the snarky response, “Of course it is.”

With his quick and deep brain-power, he was more of a frontier private investigator, than a gunfighter.  Aside from his formidable wits, his main armament was the Colt Peacemaker .45 caliber Cavalry model, six-shooter revolver.  It had the 7-1/2 inch barrel, 2-3/4 inches longer than the standard Gunfighter model.  Not exactly like Lee van Kleef’s 12 inch Buntline Special version, but capable of discharging bullets at a higher speed, and accurate at greater distances.

One of three books written about the character, and the series, suggested that his name was Clay Alexander, and that he was a college-educated graduate of West Point, but no other information source close to the production verifies that.