Fibbing Friday Older Than Me

Pensitivity101 says that these are recycled questions from Teresa Grabs who was the Fibbing Friday originator:

1. Jonah wasn’t swallowed by a whale…he was swallowed by an ____. Unceasing, never-ending, monsoon of useless, feel-good, corporate regulations, since Wendy Woke became head of H.R.

2. Who (or what) could make even the fiercest pirate quake in his boots?  Not ants in his pant, but termites in his wooden leg.

3. What did Huckleberry Finn have to really paint?  He had to paint over the fact that it was really Tom Sawyer, and that it was really whitewash, not paint.

4. What is the best food that can be paired with red wine?  Uber Eats.

5. What are you wearing in the sun?  Just a smile and a Jantzen.  I tried to join the local nudist colony, and just wear the smile, but management said that could cause a heart attack – mine – or someone else’s.

6. Why do dogs chase after cars?  I took my dog duck-hunting, but I couldn’t toss him high enough.  At least with cars, he thinks he has a chance to catch one.

7. What did the cat say to its kitten about the humans?  Meow, meow, meow, meow!  Meow, meow, meow, meow!  Translation here.

8. Goldfish are not fish. What are they?

Little crackers – until they get soggy.  Then they’re real fish food.

9. What would you rather do instead of sleeping?  Wanna hear a joke about sleeping?  Eight hours.  Yeah, I don’t get it either.  Jeff Foxworthy says that, when you’re young, and you have a choice between sleep and sex, you choose sex.  When you get older, and married, and have kids, you choose sleep, and just hope to have a dream about sex.  As an ever-aging senior with a wife whose CPAP machine is devil-possessed, and my own broken sleep cycle, I’d just like to have a dream about sleeping.

10. The Phantom didn’t haunt the Opera House…he haunted the ____  Super Bowl stadium to get a Taylor Swift autograph.  Personally, I don’t watch football, so I don’t know who this Taylor Swift is, but he sounds fast.

Ping Pong

A post where you follow the rapidly bouncing little bright ball of my ADHD intellect, from subject to subject, to subject, sometimes alighting, sometimes flitting away like a butterfly.

I sent Madame Weebles a one-dollar, and a two-dollar Canadian coin, Loonie and Twoonie.  While she has other foreign coins, she had not obtained these.  She told me that she had a British Two-Pound coin.  It is bi-metal, similar to our Twoonie, only gold-colored on the outer ring, and a silver inner disc.  It’s a thick, heavy coin.  Instead of the edge being milled (grooved), it’s engraved with the Isaac Newton quotation, “Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants.”

I whined that I didn’t have one and protested how difficult it could be; yet admitting that one might be as close as a phone call to a local coin dealer.  We took the dog to PetSmart for a wash and trim, while we waited, I took the wife to the WalMart in the plaza down the street.  Since it was the day before my birthday, the wife offered to buy me lunch.  We used the multi-choice food court right beside WalMart.

We had been unable to obtain some coconut-oil pills for her at our nearby health food store.  As we sat eating, I spotted a National Nutrition store, just down the mall.  After I shoved in my last bite, I walked over and found that they had the pills for an even better price.

On my way back, I noticed a Currency Exchange outlet, so I ambled over and asked the clerk if they had any foreign coinage.  “Oh no!  No coins!”  That’s too bad; I wanted an English Two-Pound coin.  “Pounds??  We’ve got Pounds!” I walked back with a smile and my coin.  Thanx Weebs, for using the cattle prod to get me moving.

I posted earlier, that the son’s employer makes parts for a company which also is making parts for an up-coming moon-buggy.  Product items can be boring or interesting.  Aside from a new customer’s commercial egg-washing trays, he now also makes small quantities of strait-jacket keys.  These are ring-shaped, powerful, rare-earth magnets, molded into a plastic fob.  With no external hole, the locks are unpickable.  I’ve kept a key, just in case.

Something else he just made 450 of, was mouthpieces for bagpipes.  Since pipers need both hands to operate the pipes, the mouthpiece is clamped between the teeth, and wears and needs replacement regularly.  We don’t know how many sets of pipes there are in Canada, or how far afield these go, but that’s a year’s production.

As a non-religious person, I have no problem with the Quebec government’s attempts to remove religious symbols from display on persons employed by the government, particularly those whose duties include interaction with citizens.  This is not an attack on freedom!  While people have freedom of religion, others also have freedom from religion, when dealing with the government.  No religion requires someone to work in government, but most of us must deal with it regularly.  Why must I accept the presence of religious symbols, while accessing services from my secular government?

To suggest that government should only attempt to deal with one segment of religious symbolism, Muslim modesty garments, and not others, would mean a government would be prejudicial in its treatment of its employees, based on their religion.  That would be an attack on religious freedom.

Not that I’m saying that WordPress would lie to me….but, early the other day I, accessed my stats page.  WordPress claimed that I had had 4 visitors, for 19 views – 12 from South Africa, 2 from United States, 1 from United Kingdom, 1 from Namibia, 1 from Viet Nam, 1 from Thailand and 1 from the Netherlands.  7 different countries produced only 4 visitors??!  And, strangely, they were all for the same post, the comedy, Instant Philosophy Degree.

A couple of years ago, the wife caught a killer nasal virus infection.  When it finally abated, weeks later, she discovered that she, the great chef, had almost no smell or taste ability left.  I got a brevet promotion from busboy, to official taster.  “Does it taste rich?  Does it need more salt?”

After about a year, she got a referral to an Ear/Nose/Throat doctor.  By then, she had regained some, but he told her that any further improvement was unlikely.  She has sleep apnea.  Like many others, including BrainRants, she uses a CPAP machine at night.  Having some problems and concerns, she requested another referral to the same ENT.

He noted that she has a deviated septum, not badly, but added to other factors, it was causing problems.  He has booked her into surgery on September 30 for repair.  Instantly, the bureaucracy kicked in.  She has had to go to the hospital for a pre-surgery information session.  She had to take with her, all the medication she takes, including vitamins and “herbals,” in their original containers.  She has been told that she has to stop taking several of the herbals, and her heavy-duty pain pills, for a week before her surgery.

No “thought” is given to the directions.  She must drink four cups of cranberry juice the morning of surgery, before she arrives at the hospital, but she is not allowed to take her concentrated cranberry pills.  She must bring her CPAP machine with her but, because her face will be swollen, she will not be able to use it.

She must, again, bring all her pills in original containers but, those medications the hospital deigns to dispense, will be from their stock of generic, NovoPharm products that she is often allergic to, because they use milk sugar as a filler.  I have told her to bring her own stock of the allowable meds, take them, and throw theirs away, but she is a compulsive rule-follower.

A comedian told of having his ear wax flushed out.  On the way home he thought someone was following him, because he could hear his own footsteps.  A man I spoke to at the Free Thinkers had a bad nose fixed.  They packed it after surgery with gauze.  Two days later, when he went in to have it removed, he said it was like the magic trick with the handkerchiefs.  They pulled gauze out, and pulled gauze out – and pulled gauze out.

He said that, like the ear guy, for about an hour, the nose worked so well, he could smell what time it was.  Maybe the wife will get a bit more of what she lost, back.  We assume/hope that all will go well.  It’s a simple, routine procedure.  There’s no reason it shouldn’t.  I’ll keep you informed.