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LET IT ALL OUT!

I have nothing to rant or comment about, so this week it’s your turn.  Just lie down on the couch, and tell kindly, old Doctor Archon all about it.

It’s your opportunity to vent about whatever it is that drives you crazy – a husband who wears socks with holes in the toes, a wife whose recipe for chicken stew should have been banned by the Geneva Convention, a Karen neighbor who desperately needs a smack in the head with a diarrhea-filled diaper, a boss who’s risen to the Peter Principle level of incompetence, Taylor Swift, MAGA, influencers.  😮

Your blood pressure, and fellow-readers, will thank you.   😀

Twenty-Tooth Fibbing Friday

My tablet chimed with a picture of a courier package delivered to my porch.  At first, I thought it might be the badger taxidermy kit I’d ordered.

Local council has told Pensitivity101 that I can’t be lurking around her little cottage.  I’ve been caught lying so often, that she shipped me another list of questions to be truthfully creative with.

  1. What did the couch say to the toilet?

What do you think of the rectum, as a hole??  I feel it is a source of shit, and should be wiped out.

  1. What caused the last traffic jam in town?

It was that girl, who moved here from the big city.  The friendly one, with the deep V-neck sweater that don’t stand for virgin any more.  The one with the short-short-shorts that barely cover her assets.  The town’s only got one pay-for-time parking meter – the one she always leans against.

  1. What really powers the Internet?

It’s the download of the energy potential between the two poles of cognitive dissonance – Religion vs. Atheism, Flat Earth vs. Globetards, Faith vs. Scientism and Darwinism.  It’s like using geothermal to heat your home.  If you dig down far enough, someone’s always spewing some heat about it.

  1. What is really between Trump’s ears?

MSN just published an image of a super-gigantic black hole.  They claimed that it was at the center of the Greater Magellanic Cloud.  The image was a little blurry, but I’m pretty sure I saw that Mac-and-Cheese orange hair above it.

  1. What is in the heart of Africa?

African trypanosomiasis may also cause a myocarditis. The protozoan parasite, Entamoeba histolytica rarely causes a pericarditis while Toxoplasma gondii may cause myocarditis, usually in immunocompromised hosts. The larval forms of the tapeworms Echinococcus and Taenia solium may cause space-occupying lesions of the heart.

All in all, not a very nice place to be.  Like Blackpool on a Saturday night.  It’s small wonder that British colonialists were glad to finally give it back to the natives.

  1. What was the last meal eaten in the Garden of Eden?

Apple pan dowdy.

  1. Who built the pyramids in the Yucatan?

One of Donald Trump’s earliest real estate development corporations.  They led directly to the first time he went bankrupt.

  1. What is the highest form of flattery?

It’s my (possibly soon-to-be-ex) buddy, Bob, when he gets all smoked up, and full of booze, and calls me to come get him at 3 AM, and be the designated driver.  I love you, man!  You are beautiful, did you know that?

  1. Speakeasies were not secret bars, what were they?

Open-mic nights at the local Comedy Club.

  1. Alcatraz isn’t a prison, what is it really?

It’s the new home of Archon LLC, Sociopath, and Procrastinator clubs.  We held a Sociopath meeting, but nobody showed up.  We haven’t got around to scheduling a Procrastinator Club meeting yet.  We have leased a small wing to the Kardashian Petty Cash and Bling Repository Department.

  1. What is in Hamburger?

Wiener schnitzel, sauerkraut, St. Pauli Girl lager, and Linzertorte.

  1. What is the real question and answer to number #12?

Why is a mouse, when it spins??  The higher, the fewer!!
A brothel??  If we can’t get ‘em to drink beer, how are we gonna get ‘em to drink broth?

What??!  No applause??  No fan mail??  Well, you asked for it!  There’ll be another post on Monday.  😀

Book Review #28

Days of Future Passed

The shape of things to come!  This author was prescient.  This is where it all began, or at least, a big part of it.

The book: Neuromancer

The Author: William Gibson

The Review:
This book was written in 1984.  I had a chance to read it over 30 years ago.  The son read it, but I passed on the opportunity.  It would not have had the effect on me back then, as it did to read it recently.  I read a post by a blogger who was doing what I am doing, taking old Science Fiction books out of storage, and re-reading them.  His description intrigued me, so I got a 2010 re-published copy from the library.

The story itself is not all that exciting –by today’s standards.  His protagonist is a computer hacker who can mentally access, not merely individual computers, but can surf the entire Internet.  Of course, the author doesn’t call it that.  The term, and the function, did not exist back then.  He did not coin the term Cyberspace, but this book popularized it.  Soon, readers and other authors were regularly using it.

In 1984, computers, and their interconnectivity, were far less common than in his then-future fiction.  Since he couldn’t call it the Internet, he coined the term The Matrix.  While this author, and this book, are not completely responsible, they both heavily influenced Tron, and the three Matrix movies.

The précis reminded me of Johnny Mnemonic.  A bit of research revealed that, 17 years later, he shuffled some concepts around and wrote the novel that another Keanu Reeve movie was based on.  Microsoft had incorporated in 1981, but the microsofts (small m) that the hacker uses to jack in, are nail-sized inserts that plug into a socket at the base of his skull, like Sim-cards, or SD cards.  They contain relevant data, and operating code – the Apps of their time.

The plot involves the hacker either slicing or surreptitiously oozing past security protocols, to free a manacled A.I. – Artificial Intelligence.  The story also contains a couple of computer ‘Constructs’, which are essentially the uploaded knowledge, experience and personality of hackers who were killed while online.

This author impresses me like the deaf composer, Ludwig von Beethoven.  He conceptualized huge amounts of technology that he couldn’t see, but which later came to exist.  Finally, there is another peculiarity, not of the story, but of the particular copy of the book that I received.

It is in the page numbering.  Each page is numbered in the lower corner.  Each number is underlined.  The underlining on the right-hand, or Recto page, extends to the edge of the page, across the thickness of the sheet, and continues till it underlines the number on the left-hand, or Verso page.

Infinitesimally and imperceptibly, the numbers and the underlining rise and fall several times through the book.  If you firmly close the book and look at the lower edge, the ink forms an EEG brain-scan readout.

Promptly Produced

Writing Prompts

I want to write! I want to produce, to compose, to publish, to attain fame and fortune, or at least acknowledgement, acclaim and adoration, to achieve contact and communication with others….  and apparently, so do tons of other folks.

Many people like me, who are productive, but not creative, are always searching for a little sumpin’-sumpin’ in the way of inspiration.  I am not amazed, but perhaps awed, by the number of ‘prompts’ that are available.  Words or phrases are offered, or pictures, to write stories or poems around.

There are 33-word Flash Fiction Challenges, which I stay away from. Hell, I can’t even say hello in 33 words.  There are 50-word, 100-word, and 150-word Challenges to write a complete story.  One somewhat odd challenge is a weekly offering of seven random words, to include as many as possible in a poem or tale.  This is one week’s selection.

Prompt

Being, as usual, shy a theme to base a short story on; I was giddy with anticipation, to trot out my writing skills.  I didn’t feel any doubt, and didn’t think that this challenge could punish my compositional abilities.  I was sure that I could manage to publish a bland, uninteresting paragraph or two.

I can write as much or as little as I want. Unlike the 100-word Flash Fiction Challenge, there’s not even a proposed word limit.  Over there, if I run a word or two over, I have to shave a couple off.  If I’m a few short, I just compose an addition, and pop a couple more in.

giddy, addition, punish, manage, shy, shave, pop, doubt, base, trot

Fortunately, at least for me, there’s no rule that what I write has to be deep, or socially significant – just use the words.

I try to get a Rochelle 100-word FF each week, and have some WOWs ready for when I’m not successful.  The A to Z Challenge gives me 26 theme opportunities, spread over a year.  I assemble 4 joke posts at a time, and publish them about every two weeks, but I’m always on the lookout for ideas that I can use to tell a ‘Me’ story.

Do any of you use ‘prompts’ to produce posts? Which ones?  Where do you find them?  And do you have any suggestions for me?   😕