Last week Pensitivty101’s questions were provided by Willow. Thanks Willow!
https://willowdot21.wordpress.com/

1.What is a codpiece?

An extra serving at the local fish & chips shop.

2. What is a doublet?

Two pints of stout, for the price of one, during the pub’s “Happy Hour.”

3. Who wears the hose?

That big, strong, handsome, manly-man firefighter.

4. What is a gauntlet?

It is the runway that models parade on, at fashion shows.  The scrawny, underfed models could be replaced with their 13-year-old brothers.  I can’t imagine having sex with most of them.  I might get splinters.

5. What’s kept in the moat?

A couple of cases of Newcastle Brown Ale, to keep them cool, and out of sight of the drunken ostler.

6. Where is the portcullis?

It’s a little device that the wife had installed on my liquor cabinet, which restricts my intake of red wine.  It’s like a Breathalyzer™.  Just blow into the little tube.  If you’re under the limit, it will dispense some more.
I will huff, and puff, and I will blow this damned contraption down.
How much should you spend on a bottle of wine??  About a half an hour.

7. Who wields the battle axe?

My darling wife is …. uh – does.

8. Where is the draw bridge?

Right there on the sign.

9. What is a catapult?

That’s the little “SURPRISE” game that our big feline sometimes likes to play on the dog.  Puppy will enter the living room, when suddenly, out of nowhere, the cat lands in front of her.  He’s half Maine Coon, and only slightly smaller than a Buick.  Neither the dog nor I can figure where he comes from.  I think he hides behind the wallpaper.

10. What is a flagon?

That’s what a jingoist, redneck, hillbilly, American’s got.  A flag on his front porch – a flag on his pickup truck, and even a flag tattooed on his arm.  My country – right or wrong!