Tag Archives: spelling

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’26 A To Z Challenge – D

Here’s another English word that, like most of the others, is not English.

DYBBUK

When I first encountered it, I thought it might be a small, South African antelope, like a springbok, but the word turns out to be Hebrew – a language which has already contributed a number of words to the English language about superstitions, including Yahweh, and Messiah.

A dybbuk is an uneasy spirit.  It can be a demon, or the soul of a dead person, that enters the body of a living person and directs the person’s conduct.  It’s somewhere between a shade, and a poltergeist.  I’ve worked with a number of people who fit this description.

It may have been what happened to Donald Trump.  We need to have him either excised, or exorcized – but that’s for the next post.  CU then.

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Natural Stupidity

A comic strip character recently complained, “Artificial Intelligence isn’t as smart as it thinks it is.”
The blog-site name of one of my regular visitors is INGLANDIO.  My squirrel brain can only look at that for so long, before I just have to know what it means.  Despite a similarity in spelling, I doubted that it had any reference to England.  First I plugged it into Bing, because it’s attached to MSN.CA, my home page.

Here are all the results for inguinal; did you only want results for inglandio?
YES! Click
Here are all the results for inguinal, did you only want results for inglandio?
GAAH!!

People who searched for inglandio also searched for:
ingenio
linguine
duolingo
why is England called Britain  (The other three I understand.  This one bemuses me.)

So I gave it to Google – and got exactly the same page of unhelpful stupidity.  😳  I decided to try Google-Translate.  I thought the word was probably Italian, but I’ve been fooled before, so I clicked on “Detect Language.”  Translating – from English – to English – meaning – inglandio.  There is no English word, “inglandio!”

I clicked Translate Italian to English, and was finally rewarded with, “I am going to swell.” which the same translation program, in reverse, tells me is, ”Mi gonfierò.”  That sure is swell.  Now I’m popping blood-pressure pills from a Pez dispenser.  What a ridiculous, useless, unlikely, definition, there is probably an idiomatic connotation for the word, or name, so, Mister Linguine Inglandio, if you hear someone tapping at your website’s back door, it’s just me, searching for meaning.

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I implored Mr. Inglandio to elucidate, and he was kind enough to put me out of his misery.  First, you just take twice the square root of the split infinitive of a word that does not exist.  You add in some verbiage to simulate action.  Then you divide by the number of nosy inquisitive readers who question it – ONE – unity – just me.  You get a genuine imitation word that not only convinces readers that you can do it, but that you can do it in English.  The biggest reason that both AI and I had trouble was that I managed to misspell it as Inglandio – rather than Ingliando.  Poor old new Artificial Intelligence – it never stood a chance.  I know the feeling.

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Religious Comedy

Pillsbury spokesperson Pop N Fresh died yesterday, at 71.  In attendance at the funeral home were Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his career was filled with many turnovers.  He was not considered a smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.  Still, as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife.  They have two children, and one in the oven.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

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There’s a lunch wagon offering, “Filly Cheese Steaks” that I pass almost every day.  Each time I pass it, I chant to myself, “Please let it be a misspelling!  Please let it be a misspelling!”

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A man with six kids will always be happier than the man with six million dollars, because the man with six million dollars will always want more.

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After a worship service, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.  About half way through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, “If you’re not quiet, Pastor Charlton will lose his place, and will have to start over again.”

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Religion is usually a verboten topic for everyone at work – except for Larry.  Recently, after he steered yet another conversation toward the subject, a co-worker whispered to me.  “That’s Larry.  He always has to put his two saints in.”

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After a flash flood had damaged their house and belongings, my aunt and uncle were forced to stay with friends.  One Sunday, as everyone got ready for church, my uncle borrowed a suit from his host.  The pants were too big, so my uncle said, “I’m going to need a belt.”
His humorless hostess shot back, “We do not drink before church.” 

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Unfamiliar Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101 thought it “Sounds familiar” a while ago. Go on, whack me with your silliness………….

1. What is a paddywhack?

That’s a drunken Irishman, being taught some manners, down at the local pub.

2.  What is a goujon?

That was the special grey mustard that the Toph in the Rolls-Royce didn’t have.

3.  What is a bichon frise?

That’s me, complaining that a little open-heart surgery has changed my favorite chips from being made with real potatoes, and fried in real oil, to being bought, frozen, from the supermarket, and run through an air fryer.

4.  What is a botanist?

An ace special-effects technician who is highly skilled at conceiving and building android creations for science-fiction movies.

5.  What is meant by jocular?

It’s a collective group of ‘Lost Boys’ who grew too large to remain in Never Neverland.  Now they ride race horses.

6.  What is a reamer?

It’s the first new boyfriend of a fellow who just came out of the closet.

7.  What is couscous?

That’s the wife, trying to tell the cat that she’s put out some soft food.

8.  What does it mean to chortle?

Chortle means to silence an entitled Karen.  Various methods are available, depending on the presence of potential witnesses.  Like the Valley-girl speech of a few years ago – Gag me with a spoon,  Don’t tempt me, bitch!

9.  What is a niblick?

That’s a midnight snack that I try to conceal from the warden wife.

10. What is lancing?

It’s a small city in Michigan, where no-one knows how to spell.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – N

I HAVE A HORSE THAT I NAMED ‘MAYO’
MY HORSE MAYO, NEIGHS

Now, don’t get your nickers in a not.

Just more proof that English will never be written phonetically, when we get to the meat/meet/mete of the problem.

English is Janus-like – two-faced.  You can dabble around the edge with clarity, problem-free, but you don’t need to wade in too far to find out how simply complex it can be.  Most dictionaries insist that

NICKERS

are the same as neighs, but my horsy friends who speak English, insist that it’s the difference between a giggle, and a guffaw.

Identical pronunciation aside, there are three quite different meanings for the word.  Nicker can be a sound that a horse makes.  It can also be a person or thing that makes nicks in something – like Stevie Nicks, of Fleetwood Mac.  As a Canadian, I was interested to find that it’s also a British, and Australian, slang term for a Pound, Sterling.

I never say nay, but I’m gonna ride off into the sunset of Wednesday.  Feel free to saddle up and follow.

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’24 A To Z Challenge – W

My mission – if I choose to accept it – to find a socially or linguistically significant word for the letter W has been an utter failure.  Woe is me.  Wah!  No wisdom, witticisms, or wisecracks to offer.  Let’s just go with infrequent, and lackluster

WAMBLE

  1. to move unsteadily.
  2. to feel nausea.
  3. (of the stomach) to rumble; growl.
  4. an unsteady or rolling movement.
  5. a feeling of nausea.

 

1300–50; Middle English wamle, obscurely akin to Norwegian vamla to stagger

While the meaning, spelling, and pronunciation are similar, it is not related to ‘wobble.’  Their parents are two different languages.  For several years, the son had a co-worker, universally known as ‘’Wobbles,’ not because he ingested alcohol, or the fumes of burning…. incense – although some of that did happen.

Do you remember, like me, from 1970 – Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down?  That was him.  Ovoid, bottom-heavy, short, bandy legs, looked like he spent lots of time straddling a log – or a barstool.

On the other hand….
I worked for four years with a man who everybody – from the boss/owner on down – knew he brought a 6-pack of beer in each morning, dunked it in a toilet tank in the washroom, and finished it by noon.  Then he went home for lunch, and returned with another 6-pack for the afternoon – at a Precision machine shop.

No-one ever said anything, because he pumped out loads of parts, to ten-thousandths, and hundred-thousandths of an inch – no wobble…. Or wamble.

See if you can wend your way back in a couple of days.

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’24 A To Z Challenge – U

UKASE

Directive, edict, injunction, fiat, order, rule, regulation, dictum, command
It comes from Russian, which language is used to issuing commands.  Putin is teaching Donald Trump a few new words.

UXBRIDGE

A small city in Southern Ontario, named after a small city in England which has been subsumed into the west end of London.  I wondered if spelling drift had allowed it to start out as an ox-bridge, or oxen-bridge.  Apparently it originally was Wixan’s bridge – Wixan being the name of a person who was skilled or adept in the practice of the religion of Wicca.  Wixan’s-bridge to Uxbridge is similar to the drift of Wotan to Odin.

UKULELE

The second-most irritating and useless musical instrument on Earth – right behind the bagpipes.  It drove me – and Spell Check – crazy, trying to get it up there.  Spell Check’s best guess was unkeeled.  Next option was Bekele, an Ethiopian long-distance runner, followed by tekele, a Finnish word indicating an example of poor workmanship.  AI is still a long time away from replacing me.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen – a second Smitty’s Loose Change this week, but all about words.  Word is, I have another Fibbing Friday ready to publish in a couple of days.  Don’t just lie around.  Stop in to read what I don’t show my therapist.

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To Put It Another Way – IV

Now that Agent Orange has been re-elected, here’s a post about what some of his supporters have said.

Pros

There’s an asteroid hurdling toward Earth – I’m going to jump over here, out of its way.

In order to fein a suicide – $10 word – a 37¢ spelling of feign

She had a crude debt of $287,000 –an uneducated and ill-mannered financial obligation

It has never boated well – and that usage did not bode well.

Amateurs

Sewn into the seem of my t-shirt – It seems like it should be seam.

Now selling medical marinara – potential buyers probably won’t notice the spelling.

You are doing a fanaminal job – It’s just not in spelling.

The city is in term oil – Well, lube up the dictionary, again.

Why do they always dial ate my eyes – So you can see that it’s dilate.

I guess I’m just ovary-acting – Sure you are…. Bob

The wife enters as I leave, or visa-versa – and your vice is misspelling

The dinosaurs wen’t extinct – all killed by a greengrocers’ apostrophe.

I have my suspensions that the cat – My suspicions are suspended.

In this SA I am going to discuss – I have no words to discuss his essay.

Office colosed for hafan hour – it doesn’t take close to half an hour to correct that.

It’s just a bunch of golly book – That sounds like gobbledygook to me.

I was a wafer the weekend – and away for a lot of English classes.

If door doesn’t open, giggle the knob – Hah, that’s a laugh

The rain all afternoon Lowe’s the temps – I blame that one on Autocorrect – and inattention

Whoever sat there rilly enjoyed the show – Really, really enjoyed it.

I repeat the nice seeing cream every day – I bet the Catholics are happy about that.

Free fire would – That just burns me up.

The woman mazed a dog – I’m amazed she didn’t use Mace

A couple of methods heads were fighting – see what drugs will do to your language

When I learned you couldn’t spell, I lost entrance – Okay, that one’s a joke…. Barely.

Remember you’re shopping bags – No, I’m not.

Respect are country, speak English – oh deer

You would thing that they just lobbed the top off – Toss in your own jokes.

Hall your pickup – down a long, narrow passage

He rode his bike pasted the car – I’m glued to that story.

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’24 A To Z Challenge – P

A minor little thing like a heart operation caused me to lose my A to Z challenge sequence, and miss the posts for the letters N and O.  Am I going to go back and fill them in??

N  O

Am I going to forge ahead with a post for the letter P??

POSSIBLY

So many interesting P words – so few functioning brain cells.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom??
Because the P is silent.

The same as ptarmigan – surely, an Inuit word, because it means
any of several grouses of the genus Lagopus, of mountainous and cold northern regions, having feathered feet.
But wait, it came from – 1590–1600; pseudo-Greek spelling of Scots Gaelic tarmarchan, akin to Irish tarmanach

TWO P OR NOT TWO P

I leave you with a strange little word with two, different non-P pronunciations

PHOTOPTARMOSIS

Sneezing caused by the influence of light – a minor affliction suffered by my mother and I, and probably many others.  Researchers still are not sure of the exact cause or causes.  One doctor suggested the possibility of thin sinus walls.  The sunlight might penetrate, and cause blood vessels to swell, triggering the sneeze reflex.

😎

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Adams Fibbing Friday

Something a little different last week courtesy of Jim Adams who has been inventive in making up words and asks us to describe what these, if they existed, are or could be used for.

1) Antiplixen

With the increase in world population, Santa is considering using a larger sleigh, and adding two more reindeer to pull it.    To gauge public reaction, he set up an online survey.  Most people were okay with adding Meteor, but many were antiplixen.

2) Mortangru

Once upon a time, in the deep, dark forest, three men sat around a campfire.  Suddenly, from out of the dark, a voice said, “Mortangru.”  The man tending the fire said, “Bill, you still doing ‘shrooms?”

3) Clydearum

This is the much-favored adult beverage of sailors putting into the port at Newcastle.  Any further north, it’s Scotch Mist whiskey.

4) Monogrifrt

These are the perks enjoyed by those who support Donald Trump in his campaign.  They include outrageous amounts of money, power, and the occasional opportunity to grab them by the p%**y.

5) Ulangabop

Popular in the clubs, and at parties, this is a new dance from darkest Africa, which has finally replaced the Macarena.

6) Krixashobie

We’re sorry, but your application for citizenship and residency in Poland has been denied at this time.

7) Xgreapey

You apparently have ten thumbs, and they’re all on your left hand.  It’s a good thing that AI is making Spell-check and Autocorrect more powerful, or no-one would know what your hunt-and-peck gibberish meant.

8) Knobweg

This is a delightful, strong, but fine-tasting, limited-run dark ale, brewed in the cellar of the town hall of a little village in Slovenia…. Or is it Slovakia??

9) Betalafil

This is a technological obsolescent term that describes the short-term ascendancy of VHS tapes.  Yay streaming!!

10) Dvpslyaran

Dyslexia is a neural malfunction where sufferers mix up letters within words.  This is the slightly more powerful version, where entire words are misplaced and confused, like – A Freudian slip is where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Pensitivity101 and I look forward to reading your inventiveness!