Old Father (is it? why do we say it’s is a man? Most good things come from a woman) Time has already taken a chunk out of the year and nothing has changed. Sorry now that’s a lie, I’m older and I’m slower. I just meant that I’m still in this fucking chair and she’s still threatening to rape me. It was kind of funny the first time she said it and I could laugh. I may have even laughed the first half a dozen times but I can no longer do it. Think of something new to say. If a man said it he would be arrested. She drove me there talking a mess of filth

The store was up a long flight of stairs so I asked her to go in for me. They are always either up or down a long flight of stairs. Very few are on the street level. She didn’t understand what I was asking for so she got me to write it down on a piece of paper for her. I did, I wrote it in block capital letters with my black pen, a COCK-RING please. She was gone for a long time so I supposed she was looking at vibrators. She finally came back outside with a tall skinny gay man. He asked if I wanted a noose? I didn’t know what he meant but said yes please. I will string it up tonight

I am too sick to live properly and I’m not sick enough to die properly so I just sit here half-living and half-dieing each day. The nurse came around to put a cork in it. I told her I missed pussy more than I missed walking. She said she would find me a Filipino woman. What the flip (pun intended)? She started telling me that I would have to…. And then stopped. She though about what she was telling me and finished saying, you would have to look after her. She meant I would have to pay for her. It‘s a love that I’d have to buy. I don’t know that much but that’s not worth my love

I write all this horrible shit down because I’m actually a good man. I twist it and add my own filth and make it better or worse than it really was. Sometimes I can’t properly remember what had happened and that’s when I get twisted. I can sit here in my room and write what I do not have the ability to say or do at the time. I only remember the things that hurt me. I write them down on bits of paper and then when I cannot sleep I will run with them in my mind. I sit in the audience

I met a man who was complaining about Big Daddy today. They were whinging about the system. They talked and talked but they could still walk and still had a good brain so I could not feel that sorry for him. I listened to them whinging about how hard they were finding negotiating the system. I told them that they were lucky. I am lost within the system. I cannot read the compass. The Godfather watches over me and he told me to deal with it so I did. I have. I build it up all around me when it has already been built

Father Time is a cross-dresser and Big Daddy no longer has balls. Two grandparents walked past me. The grandfather was carrying his little grandson on his shoulders while the grandmother pushed the empty pram. The little boy turned his head and stared at me like I was something interesting. He wouldn’t stop staring. I considered giving him the finger until I heard the grandfather tell him not to stare at me. He should have told him sooner. A man walking towards me smiled and told me to get out of the chair and walk. I told him that I would give him the first punch. He smiled again and told me there would only be one punch. I am too slow for a reply so I tried to smile too as he walked past

My dick used to be my life. Now he mostly hangs there. I used to think it was funny and I’d say all the time how I was going to chop it off and sell it on Ebay: 1used penis, well road tested. I woke up with a long tube coming out of it. Somebody had shaved my pubes and he looked bigger than I remembered. I felt good that my dick looked so big but I felt bad that there was a tube coming out of it. I tried to piss but the command did not go through

I’ve probably spent months alone with doctors and nurses hurrying around it. I can’t believe that this is all for Andy’s dick. My dick has led me around the world and I still haven’t found the perfect pussy. It doesn’t work the same and I hate myself for it. That’s why I will tie the noose around him and think about that perfect pussy. My penis doesn’t remember me. He must pay. I will string it up tonight. My love will have its worth

Andrew Stuart Buchanan