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I have not been feeling it since Ange passed. The HYM ( hot young Mum ) once asked me who my favourite Woman was, I was quick for once and said, it would not be fair to all of the others to single out one but the truth was it was always Ange, she taught me about the clitoris. The way we broke up was horrible but I always kept a place in my heart for her. That was the start of my sorrow.

Then my Father passed, between GIO not helping me and iCare not conceding that Wheelchair accessible accomodation is their priority my Father’s ashes are still waiting for me in New Zealand. To think that I used to complain about GIO when they handled my claim fully. At least GIO saw that I am now severely disabled from an accident, iCare does not see me as a human being let alone an insured one. They will not help pay for wheelchair accomodation despite the fact that if I was not confined to a wheelchair I could stay with my Mum or any number of friends for free

And then Jarrod passed. My grief has been immeasurable, I didn’t realise it at the time but he was the best friend I have ever had. While nobody close to me could understand the constant pain I am in Jarrod was the only one that treated me the same. I often prayed for death before Jarrod came back into my life but now I just pray for an end to this Workers Compensation nightmare. I have been very lonely since my support network has gone and have been questioning my relevancy since the only care and love I have gotten has gone. Jarrod and my Dad were the only ones that constantly complimented me on how well I was doing and how far I have come.

So yes I have gone through all of the stages of loss but am stuck on guilt. I feel guilty for relying on Dad and Jarrod too much. That is why there hasn’t been much output. I have been too sad

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