AN OPEN LETTER TO ANYONE THAT CARES ABOUT THE DJ CULTURE IN JACKSONVILLE FLORIDA.

December 29, 2009 Leave a comment

1. Simply playing a list of songs from your iTunes collection will never be satisfactory, ever. It could only be the least informed of venue owners that would ever pay someone to do that. If that’s the case, for a one time fee, I will assemble a playlist for you that will really kick ass. It will consist of the same songs that you already play so that your clients don’t get upset by hearing something new, also maintaining their status as an uninformed consumer.

2. iPod playlist. Two iPods and a mixer. One iPod in a mixer that lets you play tracks on two channels. Let me break this down for you: You can’t deejay with only one iPod, ever. With two iPods and a mixer, you can do some stuff, but, it’s not really the optimal set up. On the mixer that lets you play tracks on two channels from one iPod, there’s potential there. Usually those machines afford options such as pitch control and cueing, so maybe you’re starting to meet a bare minimum as far as deejaying goes, but most of the guys that I have seen using this rig just sit there and play preprogrammed lists while getting blowjobs from 17 year olds.

3. Turntables, CDJ’s, and laptops. You have to remember that deejaying was a product of the discotheque and hip hop cultures. Turntable craft was definitely perfected in the hip hop culture. Both were very diverse. If you watch things like Style Wars, Beat Street, Krush Groove, you’ll see what I mean exactly. We now have the means to replicate every thing that you could do with two turntables and a mixer with specially designed cd players, time encoded vinyl, mp3’s and software. It becomes a matter of skill and practice at this point. Any deejay with access to such things especially if the venue provides them, should be perfecting their art every chance that they get. Anyone can play songs back to back with little to no crossfading or segueway. Really. Anyone. Don’t be the deejay that does something that anyone can do. You won’t be a deejay for long, if you are.

4. You only play want you want to play. That’s fine, dick. It’s not bad if you happen to have stellar taste in music that is appropriate to what the venue wants and what the crowd wants. You do have a responsibility to play things relevant to the enjoyment of your audience. You’re rocking a fucking party, not masturbating over your music collection.

5. You always only play what the crowd wants to hear. So you’re a tool? Fuck you too. What in the fuck does the CROWD know about music that you don’t? You’re supposed to keep up with trends and more than that, introduce new ideas to the dance floor, even if that means playing things that are old but never got a fair shake. All you are doing is creating uninformed consumers who insist that you play the same songs, not because they are good songs, but because they don’t know any better, and they don’t know any better because you taught them this behavior. Nice and recursive, isn’t it?

Summarily: Don’t be a fucking jukebox. Use the right tools for the job. Get your skills up. Don’t be a dick. Don’t be a tool. Don’t create an anticulture of people that don’t know shit about music. Always play what you love. Always respect your audience and your venue. Stay current. Stay relevant.

You know who I like? The whole hip hop hell crew. Paten Locke and all of his crew, Ruff Rob, Basic, and such. Darrel Duke. Nick Fresh. Free. Comic. Blaze. Just saying.

Filed under deejaying, music, Personal Tagged with , ,

INTROSPECTION.

December 15, 2009 6 Comments

I was recently asked a few questions regarding my thoughts and beliefs on Aikido. The result of which was that I felt the need to write out, at length, a personal account of what has been going on in my head this entire time. By that I mean, how I even got into Martial Arts, and what has been on my mind when I’m training, and when I’m not training. I want to share with you Part Four of my Introspection. Please read at your own discretion. These are my own highly personal thoughts, and I have no intention of defending them to anyone. Discussion on my thoughts, all day long.

Part Four: Maybe I’m not good enough for Aikido.

I have met some very convincing Aikidoka. By that I mean I found something so remarkable about them, that I wanted to somehow emulate that quality in myself. At such times, I feel like a wannabe. I have to look at other people doing things that I wish I was doing, and I have to look from the outside in. It’s entirely awkward, because I have so much, if not too much regard for my own autonomy. That’s a statement I make against the higher powers that be. I’m so sick of the fact that for some reason, a person that has “only done Martial Arts for 20 years” has little if nothing to say in matters, since the 50, 60, and 70 year olds have laid down the law. At times I find it dehumanizing. I have to withdraw my concern for anything that they do, and work on my own shit. Yet, I still have so much respect for the fact that they are there, authentically as such. I don’t envy them, and I would not trade places with them, I just find that the power and respect differential in the culture of Martial Arts hierarchy to be disturbing at times. Still, I think about Ueshiba, and what he must have went through in his life to provide what has been almost the singular activity in my life that I love completely. Aikido has hard standards that I find unbearable at times. Whether it’s just learning and training the waza, the techniques, or the reading, the studying, the protocol, the culture…all of it, at times, drives me insane. I refer to this as being in the state of having a “fried brain.” My little brain can’t take it at times. So many times, I have thrown my black belt, hakama, weapons, gi, what have you, under the bed, in a closet somewhere, and just left it alone. At least I would try to. It calls to me. It says, “Autrelle. Autrelle. Au-trelllllllle…hey. Psst. Psssssst. Pssssssst. PSSSSSSSSSSST!!!! Remember us, your gear? Come on, come over here, you little guy, you. There you go, pick up the Jo first. Oh yes, YESSSSSS. Remember that feeling? Now the Bokken. Oh yeah. Remember how you used to take us to the parks in the early mornings by the river? You would swing us around, and thrust, and yell in such a fantastic manner with each stroke! Just take us out for some air. No one has to know. It will be our secret. You don’t even have to wear the gi, today. Just take us out for some air…”

I swear to you, this really happens. My fucking weapons talk to me. So I give in, I oblige them. Just for that day. And the next. Then, dammit, a month has gone by, and over lunch, my weapons and I will be having a conversation:

Jo: Hey Autrelle, you know what we haven’t done in a looooong time?

Me: Don’t start…

Bokken: Oh! Jo, I was just going to say that…

Me: Both of you fucking knock it off, I’m not in the mood.

Jo: But Autrelllllllllllle!!!! Come on!!!! It’s so much fun!

Bokken: You know you want to. You KNOW you want to.

Me:: Fuck both of you. You both make me fucking sick, and I should turn you each into firewood.

Bokken: YOU WOULDN’T!

Jo: He joking, Bokken. He loves us. He’s just pissed because we’re reminding that he’s not doing what he really loves, and this is his way of lashing out. It’s not about us. Don’t be so sensitive.

Bokken: Well, what do you think? We could go see Dee and the guys there, go old school? Maybe Leo in Orange Park, catch up on, you know, the federation you’re a part of. Oh! Or James! He always sends you messages and invites to train. And we all know how badly you want to train with Perry…

Me: Seriously, fucking quit it. Just knock it off.

Jo: (Stares at me) You’re being a bitch right now.

Bokken: (Winks at me, bats lashes, pouts) Please Autrelle, please??? Just take some ukemi. You love that the most, you know that.

Me: (Sulking) Fine. If it will make you two happy, fine. Fine.

At this point, the weapons exchange a knowing glance at each other. They know that they have me. It’s sad really. I feel at times that I can barely live up the the ideas of inanimate pieces of wood. My Aiki-Psychosis has given them a voice that berates me for not training when I try to back off of it for a bit. They provide encouragement and support for what I want to do, even when I don’t feel like doing it, or I feel like no one cares at all. It’s wonderful. At times, it’s all I need.

Filed under Martial Arts, Personal Tagged with , ,

HEY, HEY, HEY! UPDATES.

June 16, 2009 Leave a comment

I have had a LOT of downloads for the Draft 5 copy of the AJNM.  I have had little feedback.  Just so you know, I’m looking for ANY sort of feedback: constructive, corrections, suggestions, help of any sort.  The last thing I’m looking for is a pat on the back, although, they are greatly appreciated.  I did take some posed photos today with my friend Mackensey.  We did them VERY fast, VERY early this morning, but I think that they will suffice to illustrate some basic points.  Since there was only two of us, I showcased the Jo Kamae, 20 Jo Suburi, 31 Jo Kata, and the 13 Jo Kata.  That means that the next draft, which will be 5.1, proper, will have those sections illustrated.  I’m dusting off my layout skills now, so, it may be a few weeks.

Other than that, I’m also gearing up for a Tribe-K seminar this weekend.  Mr. Scott Gray, Head Instructor of the Kodenkan Dojo here in town, has invited Joseph Turner and myself to teach a four hour presentation of various ideas.  I’m going to cover the basics of Kali, and how they relate and transition to empty hand striking and throwing techniques.  Joseph has cooked up a little surprise that I’m not quite ready to let out of the bag just yet.

Lastly, I will be deejaying again this Wednesday at The Eclipse.  If you haven’t been, I would love to see you!

Filed under Autrelle, Martial Arts, Personal

TAKING A SMALL BREAK FROM BUDO.

June 2, 2009 1 Comment

When I’m not doing Martial Arts, or ranting about something that pisses me off, I have all kinds of fun, all kinds of ways.  One of those ways is deejaying.

Filed under Friends, Jacksonville, Personal, Saving the world

SELF DEFENSE CLASS: WE SHALL BARTER.

May 22, 2009 3 Comments

The one question that I have had the hardest time answering is how much I will charge for classes. i have decided that, in the spirit of wanting to share our diminishing resources, that I will accept barter as the primary unit of payment for classes. So if you are interested in classes, please consider what you are willing to barter per hour of instruction wanted.

Here is a list of individual courses that I currently offer:

Aikido, Taijutsu. The unarmed techniques of Aikido
Aikido, Kenjutsu. The sword techniques of Aikido
Aikido, Jojutsu. The staff techniques of Aikido
Kali. A Filipino martial art that teaches you how to use and protect yourself with any weapon, and also includes empty handed techniques.
jeet Kune Do. A set of principles based on your own personal abilities that draws from several martial arts.
CCQT: Civilian Close Quarter Tactics. A system I developed when I was a member of The Guardian Angels to train the volunteers for safety patrols.

Expect to train outdoors and one on one. Expect to train during the day, with some afternoons/evenings available for a slightly higher barter fee. Sundays all day available for a slightly higher barter fee.

As far as what to barter: Be creative and show my your talents as well. We all have resources and talents at our disposal, and I’m willing to listen to any idea you may have.

Spread the word and let me know.

Cheers!

Autrelle Holland

Filed under Martial Arts, Personal Tagged with , , , , , ,

AMBER’S BLOG

May 15, 2009 1 Comment

My friend’s blog is an attempt to raise awareness about lupus.  She openly discusses how she deals with it from day to day.  There was no single section that stood out amongst the rest to use as an example: the whole blog is great.  Please check it out.

Filed under Personal

NEGLIGENT BLOGGING.

February 4, 2009 Leave a comment

I’ll make up for this, I swear.  The book and the New Year have been keeping me busy.  There is a lot to get you all caught up on, so stay tuned.

Filed under Autrelle, Personal

DREAM ATTACK

December 3, 2008 Leave a comment

No New Order pun intended, this time.  I had the weirdest dream that I was at a park that was surrounded on all four sides by a shopping district.  I arrived there after getting off of a plane from somewhere else, or I was meeting someone at an airport.  I lived somewhere else to.  I saw everyone that I had ever cared about in these places in my dream, some who I have not seen in a long time.  Everyone that I saw was glad to see me.  You know what, yeah, I miss you all too.

Filed under Personal Tagged with

ERIC AND JOANNE, YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

November 13, 2008 1 Comment

Martial arts. Bushido. The art and technique of delivering death. Showing no weakness while overcoming the enemy’s strong points. Knocking out the heart. Only one is left standing.

Blah, blah, blah.

Budo. A path. Michi. Self-cultivation. Making oneself unassailable, so no defense is required. Having the power to respect the well being of someone who has temporarily gone astray.

I’ve learned a lot about my weaknesses on this one. I’m moving forward.

Filed under Personal Tagged with

AUTRELLE HOLLAND, FRONT AND CENTER.

November 10, 2008 Leave a comment

Just so you know, I stand in front of and behind anything that I post here. Anyone that wants to talk about it via email can do so at autrelle@gmail.com. Just so you know, unless it’s something severely discreet, and I will let you know beforehand, if you email me anything about my blog, I will write about it here. If you live in Jacksonville, and want to talk to me about it in person, I’m the easiest person in the world to find.

Nothing but love for you all!

Filed under Personal Tagged with

I’M PRETTY SURE THAT GEORGE W. BUSH IS NOT GOING TO PLANT WATERMELONS AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR OBAMA’S ARRIVAL.

November 7, 2008 38 Comments

Apparently, the “jokes” tell otherwise. So today, I was at work, and my boss thought that would be something that I would find funny.  My first reaction was to tell her:

Why would you even say something like that to me?

Then I walked off.  I started to get really, really angry, for a number of reasons, all at once.  I mean, I get it, your guy didn’t win, he gave up, and THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN, so all you have to say to me about it is a racist joke.  So wow, I guess it really was just a “race”/skin color thing to some people.  Wow, this adult woman just said this to me, as if I would appreciate the “humor” in that, or as if I’m even-tempered or something.  The “joke” wasn’t even clever.  Any racist with a third grade education could have made that joke up.  Wow, so my boss is telling me this joke.  What a way to take advantage of the employer/employee dynamic.  Ordinarily, when something like this happens, say at a bar, I like to curse people out and/or slap them.  I have zero tolerance for things like that.  When I went to sit outside to cool off a bit, she came outside to talk to me.  It went something like this:

Autrelle, are you upset about something?

I would really rather not talk about it.

Well what’s wrong?  Are you mad about what I said to you earlier?

Yes.  It was completely rude, racist, and unintelligent.  I can’t believe that you had the nerve to tell me that.  I never imagined that you could say something as nasty as that.

I only told you that joke because I thought you would think it was funny.

How would I think that was funny and not completely racist?  In fact, I would like you to explain to me exactly how that is just a really funny joke, and not something racist and offensive.

Well, you know, how black people, they’re associated with watermelons?

(I just stare at her.)

I think, you know, they used to sell watermelons?

(I decide to start talking again because I’m visualizing doing something bad, and I need to get my mind away from that…) Wow.  That was the least convincing argument I have heard, ever.  Those are just racist stereotypes in “joke” format.  I still remain highly offended.

Well, Autrelle, there are SO MANY jokes like that out there, I only told you that one because it was the mildest one that I have heard.

Well I suppose I should thank you for sparing your really bad racist jokes.

Well, I’m sorry that if I offended you. (Note that she was not sorry for telling me the joke, or for painting herself as an ignorant racist to me, just sorry that I got offended.  I honestly think that in her mind, she doesn’t think that she has done anything wrong.)

There you have it.  I live in a wonderfully progressive city called Jacksonville, Florida, in the Riverside area.  Go figure.  I’m on fire right now.  Let’s hear your feedback people, and don’t hold back – I’m not going to.

Filed under Personal Tagged with

THE RACIST TEST.

November 2, 2008 1 Comment

I’ll spare you the details.  This guy comes up to me and tells me story about some recent crimes, and says

I’m not trying to sound racist, but…

Followed by a racist statement.

Just so you know, you do in fact sound racist.  And the fact that you did it without even trying is truly a testament to your ability.  With practice, you be a wonderfully well-spoken racist.

Just sayin’.

Filed under Personal, Saving the world Tagged with

PLEASE DO NOT BURN DOWN MY HOUSE.

October 31, 2008 Leave a comment

I’m not really the Anti-Christ.  I just said those things so that people that thought Obama was would leave him alone.  Obama is not the Anti-Christ, either.  There is no such thing.  Get over it people.

On a side note or two:

  • I miss you took, Branden.
  • I’m feeling a lot better, but I’m still going to miss out on all of the fun this weekend.
  • Bloc Party finally released the final version of INTIMACY this week.  Be sure to check it out.
  • It’s about to be Ken season.  Look out kumitachi, here I come.
  • I’m deejaying not one, but two weddings next year.  Oh snap!
  • I’m not dressing up this year.  I’m not dressing up this year.  I’m not dressing up this year…

Filed under Personal Tagged with , ,

FEAR NOT – OBAMA IS NOT THE ANTI CHRIST

October 22, 2008 7 Comments

Here’s wikipedia’s entry about the Anti Christ.

Apparently, some poor, miguided creature thinks that Obama is the Anti Christ.  I’m not going to go into that here.  The reader can waste their own time googling that one into disproof.  I am going to save all of you the trouble of trying to call Obama the Anti Christ, and also the trouble of defending him from all allegations.  If you are wondering how I’m going to do this it’s actually very simple.  It’s simple because:

I AM THE ANTI CHRIST.

That’s right.  Me.  Litle old me.  I know it sounds ridiculous.  I’m not exactly ruining the world with fiery flying horses, but you have to remember that evil is only as powerful as we let it get by with, and, luckily for you mere mortals, I haven’t had access to too much power.  At most, I had access to an awesome FTP server with a bunch of music.  Rest assured though, that I am the one and ony Anti Christ.  Here’s some examples:

  • Christ healed sick people.  I have NEVER done that.
  • Christ turned water into wine, and made a bunch of fish or something like that.  I have NEVER done that.
  • Christ was conceived immaculately.  My mom, she got banged.
  • Christ had twelve disciples.  I don’t think I have twelve dollars right now.
  • Christ fasted for 40 days and nights.  I have NEVER done that, and I NEVER would.  That sounds stupid.
  • I have had sex with and WITHOUT proper protection.  Pretty wild Anti Christ-like, right?
  • I get super wasted and black out, and when I wake up, everyone hates me.  One more for your boy AC!
  • On more than one occasion, I have put a stun gun in someone’s mouth.  Only AC would do that!
  • I refer to Christianity as mythology, because it is.  AC, baby!!!
  • I insist that the MEN who wrote the bible were idiots, based on the fact that the smartest person alive around then could not be any smarter than the average 15 year old kid  alive now with internet access.  Only AC would say wild things like that!!!

I could go on, but I think that my points make for an iron clad case.  So, leaders of the free and unfree world, “religious” leaders/mythology teachers, and all those that listen: Leave Obama alone.  I’m the one and only Anti Christ, and I will not be mocked.  You shall suffer my wrath, which is usually in the form of my asking you out and a date and trying to get you drunk and have sex with me (in the case of women – men just get beat the fuck up).

Oh, and lighten up – why so serious?

Filed under Personal Tagged with ,

TIME FOR SOMETHING NEW.

October 9, 2008 Leave a comment

Lately I have been wanting to write more intimate and personal things.  I’m pretty sure this will have to be on a different blog.  I don’t want to have private posts and all of that, so I’ll probably just have an anonymous blog.  If you ever stumble upon it, don’t call me out.

Filed under Personal

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