Month: April 2014

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Look of Desire.

[To celebrate the final day of NaPoWriMo and my successful participation, something different. Not sure if this qualifies as erotica, but that was my initial aim. It contains medium level sexual references and, well, you’ll see…]

 

Without a word
you approach me
Slinking that way
Your eyes saying
just how naughty
you want to be
I see every word

And
My thoughts skip forward
to your hand on my waist
fabric pops over buttons
with a deft twist of wrist

While
Eyes locked on mine
Silently whispering how you feel
Lips curled up a touch
Preparing for what comes next

Down
Warm mouth and slow tongue
wrapped around me
sliding, smooth, tantalising
Fingers pulling me taut
firmly holding my excitement
Gentle pressure increases
from you and within me

I pop
back to the present
as your eyes pass by
soft lips almost brush my cheek
fingers trail around my waist
leaving me
wondering how this evening will end

 

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Eclipsing the Sun. (5,6,4)

Searching for a way
To describe how I feel
Words lose their place

Falling through the cracks
He couldn’t work out how
Words lose their place

There was a meaning
Love existed until
Words lose their place

Free to roam, they lived
While eclipsing the sun
Words lose their place

Now in the darkness
Words lost forever more
We lose our place

.

[a partial solar eclipse this afternoon upon the setting Autumn sun]

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To End The Indecision.

Do not fear the wrong choice
there is no right or wrong
only your choice.
Do not fear mistakes
they are the tools of learning
of determining what works for you.
No one else’s opinion matters
only making a decision matters
any decision
as long as it’s for you
not for anyone else
because a decision is always a step forwards
no matter the outcome.
Make a decision today
and if you change your mind tomorrow
then you have made two decisions
two steps forward
Progress.

.
[for Louise at illicit by nature]

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Gone Forever.

Naked
Stripped down
Exposed
Then cut down
You dared to threaten
The children you watched over
day by day
Home to wildlife
Silhouette in the morning sky
Wind catcher
Now you are
Gone forever

20140424-203924.jpg
[my brain isn’t functioning much at all with fevers and an upper respiratory tract infection which now has me on antibiotics. Thankfully inspiration was with me yesterday while I was getting some sun and watching the tree removal unfold.]

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Within One Day.

Terrifying
turbulent
negativity
everything
painful
depressing
hopeless
despairing
loneliness
pretending
fearful
frozen
immobile
uncaring
unfeeling
unloving
despising
self-loathing
collapsing
crumbling
shaken
.
.
.
Supported
delicately
comforted
thoughtfully
soothed
suggestions
questions
discussions
optimism
hope
energising

===

[ a companion piece to my poem earlier today. This was actually started first thing in the morning and completed much later at night. Thanks to Helen for the support. This single word phrase per line poem is a return to one of my favourite styles.]

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Some days – NaPoWriMo (reblog)

Chantelle’s words are in sync with my thoughts today, feeling lost and confused, but pushing on – somehow. Just what I needed to hear.

Chantelle Garvin's avatarSoul Renderings

Some days the hardest part of pressing on

comes in learning to let go

learning to move on

to stop dwelling on what could have been

what should have been

or why

Some days the hardest part of finding myself

comes with learning that it’s okay to be lost

that life doesn’t make sense all the time

and that’s okay

it’s all part of the process

and what’s important

is that I continue

to try.

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Over and Over and Over and Over.

It’s difficult to capture feelings
when it seems
you feel nothing at all
when you would rather disappear
than continue facing
the heartbreaking anguish
every moment brings
even though
a far off voice
is reminding you
it’s all untruths
but drowned out
by the roar
of illness-borne insanity.

What if I stopped caring for myself
forget the carefully balanced diet
steady splashes of alcohol instead
or sample something stronger
for the relief of numbness
and any break from my thoughts
seems worthwhile
but I know
(from experience)
the consequences of those actions
are worse than the present –
longer recovery
lingering side effects
toxic attack of this temple
wreaks terrible damage.

So once again
I am nothing
I can’t even break down properly
self preservation instincts
sensibleness
conspire to control me
sustain and retain me
for better or for worse
and I think
(as I always do)
that writing
is the only thing
that gets me through.

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The Here and Now Struggle.

When your concentration scatters
you can’t focus on what matters
a ring of pressure surrounds your head
throat is sore and dry and red
sense familiar dread proclivity
of all thoughts to negativity
pack it in and head to home
where you’ll dread being alone
want to scream and thrash about
your whole existence is in doubt

Now can’t bear to face tomorrow
fear continuation of sorrow
even put off going to bed
strong painkillers want for head
close my eyes and focus here
on this moment right now clear
put aside all future worry
for a precious minute clarity
could you feel that way more often
then the painful days would soften

===

[not letting a mild migraine and spaced out day stop me from NaPoWriMo participation, used it as my inspiration instead.]