Hidden Danger.

Monsters
Deep beneath the surface
Been causing little quakes
that knock me over
Hiding away for years
Biding their time
Waiting for their opportunity
to strike
Now
They attack
Walls of security crumbling
under their onslaught
And paralysed with fear
I cry out
my silent dream-like screams
All my insecurities exposed
Anxiety overload
I break down

Life will never be the same

This time
I don’t know
if I will survive

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Friendship Questioning.

What is it
about you
that I don’t deserve?
Or what is it
about me
that feels undeserving
of you?
There is
something dividing us
always
the sense of
a missing connection.
I have always
wanted this friendship
and never fully understood
what you wanted
from this us.
Unmatched expectations
Unbalanced desires
Uneven communication,
These create fragility
leading to breakdown
and hurt
But how do you mourn
the loss
of an ethereal relationship?

.

[ this is my response to Pooky’s Poetry Prompt 24 – Fragile Friendships ]

Never Go To Bed In Anger.

Never go to bed in anger
Advice I keep hearing
But how do I avoid that
When my days keep on ending
With silent frustration
That I hold in
That I won’t express
Because you just get upset
When I talk about my feelings
What I’m missing
What I want
And we never seem to get to
What works
And what is good
Precious little positivity
Much experience negativity
No balance counteraction
Good memories a tiny fraction
Of the whole frustrating journey
Feel inadequate unworthy

Can’t speak
You’re asleep

In the morning keep the silence
Don’t upset you in defiance
Shutting down I need to cope
Stumble down the slippery slope
Where this goes will not be fine
While we cannot make the time
To understand and to connect
Each day fully, no neglect
And the energy required
Leaves me exhausted and so tired
There’s no focus on achieving
No efforts made nor love receiving
Feel ashamed that I can’t nurture
So it scars me like a torture
Thoughts crash down and are deceiving
Nothing left worth to believe in

Never go to bed in anger?
I do that nearly every night.