090909

.. 2 yrs ago today... and 1 yr ago today i was very very happy.
at least i was happy before.

就这样吧。。 若你碰到他。。。

我失去过， 更珍惜拥有。。

It's been exactly a year since i wrote the status.
我还是失去了你。。

时间会冲淡一切

Time would wash away everything and we'd go on with our own lives. Memories that we shared will feel surreal and we'd wonder if that really happened or it was all just a dream.

想通就好。。。

不适合就算了。。
为你而改也没有用。。。
不只是我不适合你，
其实你也不适合我。

my brain cells are dying

when i work, there are so many things on my mind. I would so love to type it out all here on my blog.

but when i open this new post page.. i.. am.. lost.. for.. words..

anyway.. we broke up again. how fun..... . . .. . . . .. ..

SIEN LAN DOUUUuuUUuUUuUUuuu..

so sien la. im not sad.. but sien. i've been down this road so many times b4. i dunno what to feel.

all i know.. is that i have a group of good jimuis to teman me watch movie n waste money, have dinner and go out have a greaaaaaaaaat time!..

mUaKss!!

and i believe the right guy will come in NO time!
hopefully right this second.

i love Xandria Ooi

Having an “It could be worse” mindset is somewhat better than an “It could be better” approach towards life.

The way we approach and react to the situations and people in our everyday lives is congruent to the way we conduct our relationship. It makes sense that we cannot be very good at our relationships if we are not good at dealing with life.

:(

power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less

What do u do?

What do u do when ur bf doesnt ease ur pain. But instead adds on to it?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

omg

i just realised all the posts for the past yr has been so so so so sad!! and agonising!! and.. omg.

The place I'm at right now

really missed those days when I just update my blog like it's my bf and I have to tell him everything!

Those days are not entirely gone I guess. :P

My relationship has reached a stage where err.. we don't even talk on phone. We don't really update each other about how our day went. We just casually call each other up.. talk bout other things.. and squeeze in other little small questions and that's about it. I can't say that I am not happy with such arrangement. We suck at talking on the phone especially if it's just to talk.

We usually meet on weekends. Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. But recently, things have changed because my Saturday afternoons have seemed to be taken over by my sister. Apparently, as maid of honour I have to follow her to all wedding gown fittings, wedding discussions and whatnot. Sometimes I have to skip work to fulfill my duties. This is to show if i quality to be MOH, or else she'll replace me with someone else. @@.. i may be joking .. or not...

So on this B-E-A-U-tiful Saturday, I followed my sister to Carven Ong and Jason Yek and I reached home at 8. Feeling very relieved cause the time has come for my BB. But BB was bz fishing. Crappy asshole. He told me that he'd go fishing in the morning till afternoon, around the time I finish work. Then afternoon - night that time slot shall be for us to watch movie. I already knew the fishing thing would go up in smoke cause suddenly his friend asked him to play mahjong on friday night. He played till 4:30am.. He still went fishing the next day anyway.. IN THE AFTERNOON!!! But it's ok... cause I told him that afternoon i would be bz being a responsible MOH. He was actually quite disappointed when i told him that. He said "你唔留时间畀我jor!"(u dont leave time for me anymore!) hahaha.. usually its me who says that phrase. Let him taste his own medicine!!

Anyway this post came after I was listening to DingDang's songs on my iTunes and I found out I've mistaken the artist of this song 你的陈诺. The singer was a guy. Anyway.. it's about a couple's promise to each other to not think bout each other and not find each other after their break up. But apparently in this song the girl broke the promise (just because the singer was a guy!)

Then came this verse

我走了以后

你要好好生活

不要想我

也别再哭了

Kinda reminds me when he left me. He said words that meant like that. My distraught feelings then, now felt so distant to me like they have never occurred. I guess that nightmare has passed. Of course I wouldnt want that to happen to me again.. other than the effect it gave me (i lost 3 kgs!)

So anyways... after 3 months of ups and downs for us. We finally patched things up and promise each other we shall do it better than b4. Thinking back, I really think that I have a big heart. He didn't cheat on me mind you. But, really... no girl would forgive him other than a stupid girl who loves him too much. Some friends would hear me complaining about him more than singing praises for him. But that's because he doesn't treat me in a way so obvious that everyone could see. He's just different from other guys that I've met and his method grounds me to be very practical and down-to-earth. Because I'm like that. I don't believe in Valentine's Day!! that speaks alot doesnt it?

And after that break up, i feel like if anything should happen to this relationship again, I'm just not that afraid and worried anymore. Because it's a road that I walked through. It was hard. But I dunno why, i actually love it. Love it so much that I don't care and control him so much anymore. I don't pick fights with him. I act blur because I think I shouldn't know so much because I couldn't care less. U wanna do what u do lo. U wanna see me u see lo. U donwanna see me then dont see lo. Better still, I do my own things. And trust me.... I'm going to occupy my time with all my activities. I wouldn't say it worked or whatever (bcos there's still this hopelessly selfless for bf dumbass in me) but i definitely feel better. I dont fret that much anymore. Which makes him feel better because he doesn't have to explain himself each and everytime i question. U girls may think "why!? i ask u then u explain la... what so hard to explain?!"

Truth-ishly... guys hate to explain. Their brains are very very lazy. Dont say them la.. haha.. Imagine you are tired from work, gym or whatever. Then ur mum keeps asking you question.. "why u so late come back? why never eat my dinner? why u go out nvr tell me?!?!".. u also fan right?!

I also realised that I don't need him that much anymore. This space alone gives me all the time in the world to reflect on my life and think what ways to improve my love for the 22 yr old me.

Time flies the fastest in ur 20s. But it's also the most exciting decade in your ENTIRE LIFE!

Make the most of it to make urself happy. Not thinking of ways to keep others happy. You'll only forget to live.

<-- this was just hours after we got back together. I missed that time when he VOLUNTARILY followed me to IKEA.

<-- first instant photos of us.

I love this!!

ANYWAY... THIS IS LATE..

HAPPY NEW YR! and MEI LI QING CHUN! 美丽青春

took this in SabahKK on CNY 2011