Baby Smiling In Back Seat

After detailing the infertility storyline on the first and second episodes of the current season of Mad Men, I have been silent for a while because there had been no movement on the storyline.

The episode entitled “The New Girl,” which aired last week, has made up for lost time. Sorry for the delay in my post; there was a TiVo issue and I didn’t get to watch it until it was rerun along with the newest episode.

The Campbells go to a fertility specialist! We get to see the early-1960s version of an RE visit, including:

• The doctor asks the couple if they are “aware of the principles of conception, how the sperm meets the egg”; I am guessing that nowadays, most REs assume this level of knowledge

• Individual meetings for each partner in which the doctor asks sensitive questions; my current RE (Dr. Full Steam Ahead) didn’t do this, but my first RE (Dr. Fancy Pants) had a private questionnaire for each of us to complete
• An amusing scene in the Male Room (a.k.a. Sperm Palace) in which Pete looks through the pornography, featuring nostalgic early-1960s magazines

One part of the episode that hit home for me was when the doctor asked Pete, “Have you ever fathered a child?” He answers no, not knowing about the illegitimate child he fathered during the first season.

When we started our second round of IF testing, Dr. Full Steam Ahead asked us whether DH had ever fathered a pregnancy. DH said no, and I had to correct him. He confused fathering a child, which he has not done, with fathering a pregnancy, which he has done (at that point, just M/C #1; now we can add M/C #2). It was a sad and awkward moment.

The episode also features an argument between the Campbells when they learn that the semen analysis revealed no problems (Pete, raising a glass to toast: “To my ability!”), and therefore that female factor issues must be the source of their infertility (Trudy, disingenuously: “It’s a relief. Now we know it’s me.”).

Their argument features elements that many people still consider (and blog about) today, such as differing levels of commitment to TTC, self-blame, having children as the next logical step after marriage rather than a mindful choice, appreciation of the freedom that can come with childlessness, embarassment over providing a semen sample (“I just did a very private thing in a very public place for you“), and fate (“maybe this is the way it’s supposed to be”).

Pete delivers a line that would plunge a knife into any of our hearts: “Either you make it through this thing, or you just keep it to yourself.” This character constantly makes me grateful that my own husband is so different.

Trudy responds with a heartfelt statement that all of us have uttered, and a philosophical question that many of us have asked: “It’s just, I really do want a baby. (looking around the apartment) What is all this for?”

The next episode did not address the IF storyline, except to illustrate Pete’s ambivalence over parenthood. But finally! One of the most direct depictions of an RE’s workup, and one of the most honest husband-wife communications about infertility, ever on television! Hooray! Stay tuned; I have a feeling that Mad Men will have more Fun With Infertility to offer us in the coming weeks.

The much-hyped second season of Mad Men just started. I was one of the few people who watched the first season — there weren’t many regular viewers, but apparently all of the media critics and industry insiders have been watching religiously. The first season Mad Men won the Golden Globe for Best Drama and Best Actor, and now it has been nominated for 16 Emmy awards.

I won’t get into describing the whole show, but I will briefly say that it’s an interesting and unusually-paced period piece about advertising executives (and their secretaries, wives, mistresses, etc.) in the early 1960s. Two of the actors had prominent roles on Joss Whedon shows: the charismatic Christina Hendricks, Saffron from Firefly, and the less charismatic (but maybe on purpose?) Vincent Kartheiser, who played Connor on Angel. His character just got involved in an infertility storyline.

Kartheiser plays Pete Campbell, a recently married (less than a year, I think) guy in his mid-20s. When he comes home from work on Valentine’s Day, requisite box of candy in hand, his wife informs him about the pregnancy announcement of his co-worker’s wife, and then she starts to cry. She then disdainfully tells him about a pregnant woman with two small children that she saw on the street. She describes her feeling that there is a club that she can’t join. Frankly, she comes across as a little whiny. Pete reassures her without reassuring her, and it is clear that he does not currently share her desire for a child.

Meanwhile, a woman in Campbell’s office has recently given birth to an illegitimate child that Campbell fathered, making it clear that male factor issues are not the problem.

This episode made me think about infertile couples in which one (usually the woman) has a stronger desire than the other for a child, and how much more difficult the experience would be without a like-minded partner. Even though DH doesn’t talk about it as much as I do, I know that he wants a child just as much as I do. With IVF #1, he was more disappointed than I was. IF is never easy, but without DH’s support, partnership, and shared goals, it would be so much worse.

I would be watching season 2 of Mad Men regardless of the new IF angle, but I am excited to see where the storyline goes from here. I’m not sure if Campbell’s wife will become less whiny and more sympathetic, or if his perspective that he isn’t ready for children will be the focus. I am sure that disclosure of the love child will be prominent. I’m also pretty sure that the wife won’t get pregnant anytime soon, because ongoing infertility is much more dramatic.