Baby Smiling In Back Seat

Many of you have heard that the current world record-holder for oldest woman to become a mother (and oldest successful IVF patient) is a 70-year-old woman from India. Turns out she’s not entirely happy with the results of the IVF.

I expect that most or all of you who are reading this post will be outraged at the sexism, so I won’t get into that.

I also expect that most of you will have something to say about people who end up leaving their family destitute because they can’t afford the cost of IVF, when the whole point was to create an heir. Most of us can relate to the high cost of IVF, and many can relate to the need for sacrifice to deal with that cost, but I think few of us would go to such lengths, especially when we no longer have any earning potential.

Most of you may also be aghast that this couple would impose on their older children and on their community in all of the ways described.

But what really got to me was that the couple have no idea what IVF entailed, even after having gone through it.

The couple do not even understand the fertility procedures carried out to allow Omkari to give birth so long after going through the menopause.

It is likely donor eggs were used to allow her to carry a child, but the Panwars simply do not know what happened when they went to a fertility clinic in Meerut last year.

Most of us know entirely too much about the IVF process. All of us would be well aware of, and have a strong say in, the use of donor gametes. All of us, I hope, have enough of an understanding of basic human biology to understand why it is normally impossible make babies at the age of 70 and what interventions are necessary to circumvent biology.

I have several hypothetical questions (but feel free to offer speculations). These are genuine questions, not jibes. Okay, maybe some of them are also jibes.

1. What if IVF #1 had not worked for them? They would be out of money, and still without an heir. What would they have done?
2. Do their older daughters hate them? Or are they on board with the situation because they share the same cultural values?
3. Will their newborn daughter hate them for calling her a “burden” on an international stage before she is two months old?
4. Will their newborn son hate them for putting so much pressure on him? For loving him not because of who he is, but because of his sex?
5. Given that they don’t even know whether a donor was used, they obviously had no say in the selection of the donor. Would they object if the donor came from a lower caste?
6. In the U.S., there are consent processes for medical procedures that require that the patient (or another responsible party) has some understanding of what will occur as well as the risks. Do they not require consent in India? Or do they usually require it, except when someone is going to pay a large sum of money for an elective procedure?

I’m curious to hear what you think. DH got so mad when I showed him the article that he can’t carry on a discussion.