How do you work time for your own devotional/God time into the crazy life of being a mom/everything else?
This is a good and important question! It definitely is not easy as a busy mom/adult. The key, for me, is doing it in small, practical ways. I have had to let go of the idea of sitting alone, with my coffee and my bible and my journal and highlighters for thirty minutes. ;)
Now, if it works for you - getting up before the kids is a great idea. I've heard great things about it, but in this stage of life with my early risers, it's just not happening. I think it's excellent in theory - to get centered and focused and filled with God's word and perspective before going into battle - aka starting the day. If you think you can swing it, give it a try! Aim for 20-30 minutes before your kids usually wake up.
There are a lot of resources out there to make devotional time a little easier these days. There are a lot of devotional apps! First 5 is a great one with quick and easy to read devotionals. The Bible App by YouVersion has a bunch of bible reading and devotional plans to choose from. She Reads Truth has an app and can be accessed via their website. Proverbs 31 Ministries also has devotions and online bible studies. Search for "devotionals" in the app store! If you want an actual physical devotional book, I love "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. Go to your local Christian bookstore or to one online - they should have a good selection. I know there are women and mom-specific ones out there. Devotional books are nice because they are "meaty" and quick. You can open one up and read amidst the chaos. During naptime. On your lunch break, etc. I'm willing to bet there are little pockets in your day that you can fill with Jesus! Maybe you could even find a devotional or reading plan that sounds good for you and your spouse and then commit to reading it together every night before bed. I can only imagine the ways that could strengthen not only your relationship with Jesus, but your marriage, too! It might take some intentionality, but you can do it! It's so worth it. Truly, the most important and effective thing you can do for your emotional/mental/spiritual health.
I also follow several inspiring accounts on Instagram. Make sure to look for your favorite Christian authors and such on there. Filling up your social media accounts with things that point you to Jesus is a great way to make the time spent there more fulfilling and less draining.
It is important to note that you don't want to only follow people and learn from people. You also need to open up the Bible for yourself and let God's word infiltrate your soul and speak to YOU. I can slack on this and it's something I'm currently working on.
Summary: Lots of small ways add up.
How can we chill out/calm down the "mom guilt" that always creeps in?
Oh, mommy guilt. It surely grips all of us at some point or another. For me, it was at its peak as a first time mom. But five years and three kids in, it still grabs ahold of me at times and I doubt it will ever stop completely. Stopping it completely may not be possible - but combatting it is! The bible says we are overcomers and "more than conquerors" through Christ!
Here's my secret to overcoming mommy guilt: REFUSE to be dragged into it. Rebuke it. Does that sound too easy? Or maybe too "simple" is the better word, because it may not seem easy. But I've come to realize that mommy guilt is the work of the devil. It's not difficult to imagine how much the devil loves to turn our insecurities and feelings into crippling guilt. How easy for him - what a great tool for him to use to make us feel inadequate, like we don't measure up, like we are failing. Those aren't thoughts from God (true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy - Phil: 4:8). So who are they from? That's right. And just knowing that it's the devil trying to drag me down with those thoughts, makes me all the more fierce about rebuking them in the name of Jesus! For lack of better terminology, and to be frank, "Screw him!" We don't let other people whisper (or shout!) bad things about us in our ear- we certainly aren't going to let the devil. The old "Just Say NO!" applies here, too. JUST SAY NO to mommy guilt! And if you're struggling with it and just can't shake it, pray and reach out to someone who loves you. Someone who knows you're awesome and amazing, so they can remind you.
Sometimes, the guilt we are feeling can be helpful. It isn't necessarily all bad. I don't want to say that we should not ever reflect on parenting mistakes we've made - we absolutely should. That tinge of guilt is okay - good even - if we feel it, reflect on it, pray and ask for forgiveness, and identify ways we could have done better. But then we have to LET IT GO. And I think the overwhelming mommy guilt that we refer to is the guilt that we aren't letting go of. And the guilt over things that are simply not in our control. And the guilt that comes from comparison. Ain't no mama got time fo' dat.
Know your worth. Vow to treat yourself better. Do not let guilt steal your joy. Take some time to reflect on the good things you've done. We effortlessly reflect on the bad and don't give the plethora of good things we've done in the day another thought.
And by golly, develop an attitude against it. You are too good for mommy guilt.
And a few words from a post from thegospelcoalition.org that I thought were awesome:
"Mommy guilt can't crush you if Christ was crushed on the cross in your place. His atonement is enough to bear away our guilt and shame. The strength of his grace is enough to help us disciple our children. The promise of His presence is enough to sustain us through every morning routine, afterschool activity, midnight mothering, and every other season. "
Living that abundant life that Jesus died for you to have doesn't include wallowing in mommy guilt. He died for your FREEDOM from such things. The devil does not have a stronghold on you. Fight!
Summary: JUST SAY NO and LET IT GO.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
living out my purpose...
Recently, I went to see Jen Hatmaker (and other amazing women) speak on her Belong Tour. A major theme there was living out your purpose and embracing your gifts and passions. "Rock your purpose" they said. God was already stirring within me to "DO SOMETHING." This was the final "shove."
So what do I want to do? Jen said to, "pay attention to the gift you have, not the gift you want." (There goes singing and playing the guitar, dang it.) To pay attention to what makes you cry all the time and what makes your heart speed up. I have known all along that I have a heart for women, especially moms in this same child-rearing season as myself. I've never considered myself to have any outstanding talents, but I have always known that I genuinely care deeply about people. I am an encourager at heart. But what do I do with that passion?
This is where the devil comes in. He sees a passion brewing and a heart for Jesus and he means to discourage against that, all of it. He tells me, "You are not equipped. You didn't go to school for religious studies or anything remotely close. You don't have the education or knowledge needed to do ministry. Who are you to think you can do this? You are full of sin. You are certainly no model of motherhood or anything else." He says, "You don't have time. You are struggling to survive raising the three kids you have most days. You don't need to do anything else." He asks, "Where is this going to really lead? It's not going to make a difference." He tells me, "People are too busy. They don't have time to participate in something else." ETC. His whispers are never ending.
Thankfully, God's voice is stronger. My love for Him is greater. All through the bible, God uses ordinary people to carry out His purpose. All He needs is obedience. He can take a little obedience and work with it. God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.
1 Thessalonians 5:24 - "The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it."
Jen also said in her talk, "You are not in charge of success - you are in charge of obedience. God can handle the outcome, and he is GREAT at outcomes." That really spoke to me and is really sticking with me. That takes the pressure off of me and allows me to trust Him, so that's what I'm going with.
She ended by encouraging us to "do the next right thing." So, that's what I'm doing. I don't really know where to start, but I'm going to trust God to take it where He wills. I hope that this facebook group (Knowing Him & Raising Them) will be a blessing to you. Since it was already somewhat established, I felt God calling me to it as a good place to start. I hope that we can join together as women and moms and encourage one another and build each other up. I hope you will grow in your faith if you desire. Some things I have in mind for the future of the group are to get you all involved. Maybe we can hear stories/wisdom/testimonies from each other. (Get ready, I might contact you to share your story!) A big dream I have for the group is an actual in-person meet-up. I'm not sure what exactly that looks like yet, but we'll see. :) This group is something small, but I think God can make something big come from it. I see the need, in our community, for something for women/moms. We don't have MOPS or other things that bigger cities do. I think there are so many of us out there yearning for more - more friendships, more Jesus, more support, etc. I want to do something about it. I want to live in a place where we are loving Jesus, making a difference and really doing something with that love, and living and enjoying life together along the way. I'm also hoping to start a group for women/moms/young families at my church. If you are local, maybe you can join in on that as well. Sharing all of this holds me accountable. I'm excited! Stay tuned!
And be thinking about YOUR purpose....
So what do I want to do? Jen said to, "pay attention to the gift you have, not the gift you want." (There goes singing and playing the guitar, dang it.) To pay attention to what makes you cry all the time and what makes your heart speed up. I have known all along that I have a heart for women, especially moms in this same child-rearing season as myself. I've never considered myself to have any outstanding talents, but I have always known that I genuinely care deeply about people. I am an encourager at heart. But what do I do with that passion?
This is where the devil comes in. He sees a passion brewing and a heart for Jesus and he means to discourage against that, all of it. He tells me, "You are not equipped. You didn't go to school for religious studies or anything remotely close. You don't have the education or knowledge needed to do ministry. Who are you to think you can do this? You are full of sin. You are certainly no model of motherhood or anything else." He says, "You don't have time. You are struggling to survive raising the three kids you have most days. You don't need to do anything else." He asks, "Where is this going to really lead? It's not going to make a difference." He tells me, "People are too busy. They don't have time to participate in something else." ETC. His whispers are never ending.
Thankfully, God's voice is stronger. My love for Him is greater. All through the bible, God uses ordinary people to carry out His purpose. All He needs is obedience. He can take a little obedience and work with it. God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.
1 Thessalonians 5:24 - "The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it."
Jen also said in her talk, "You are not in charge of success - you are in charge of obedience. God can handle the outcome, and he is GREAT at outcomes." That really spoke to me and is really sticking with me. That takes the pressure off of me and allows me to trust Him, so that's what I'm going with.
She ended by encouraging us to "do the next right thing." So, that's what I'm doing. I don't really know where to start, but I'm going to trust God to take it where He wills. I hope that this facebook group (Knowing Him & Raising Them) will be a blessing to you. Since it was already somewhat established, I felt God calling me to it as a good place to start. I hope that we can join together as women and moms and encourage one another and build each other up. I hope you will grow in your faith if you desire. Some things I have in mind for the future of the group are to get you all involved. Maybe we can hear stories/wisdom/testimonies from each other. (Get ready, I might contact you to share your story!) A big dream I have for the group is an actual in-person meet-up. I'm not sure what exactly that looks like yet, but we'll see. :) This group is something small, but I think God can make something big come from it. I see the need, in our community, for something for women/moms. We don't have MOPS or other things that bigger cities do. I think there are so many of us out there yearning for more - more friendships, more Jesus, more support, etc. I want to do something about it. I want to live in a place where we are loving Jesus, making a difference and really doing something with that love, and living and enjoying life together along the way. I'm also hoping to start a group for women/moms/young families at my church. If you are local, maybe you can join in on that as well. Sharing all of this holds me accountable. I'm excited! Stay tuned!
And be thinking about YOUR purpose....
Friday, July 29, 2016
Blogging, Surreality, and Brain Death
It's hard to know where to start after not blogging for almost two years. There's no way I could ever catch up. So, I will just start with where I am now.
I am the mother of three children. Mom of three kids. Three.kids. Three kids age four and under. It still shocks me some days that I am someone's mom, let alone three someones'. When three people on this earth want their mom or think of their mom, I'm her. It's just surreal. Moms, are you with me? Does it ever stop being kind of surreal? I mean it feels reeeeeally real when they've yelled, "Moooommmmmmyyyy..." followed by one of many demands every day. So real. But it still shocks me when I really stop and think about it.
(Note: I don't think I've blogged since the induction of emojis into our society. I keep really wanting to insert certain emojis to portray my emotion, at the end of my sentences. And that "need" for it bugs me.)
Also, I'm 30. That's kind of surreal, too. I feel like I surely can't be thirty. Not that thirty is old. But thirty is just older than I ever thought I would be. Not that I thought I was going to die a premature death or anything... it's just that I guess I thought my twenties would last forever? It's just that I feel basically the same as I did at 18, only with a husband and three dependents. It's just that adulting is hard and mommin' ain't easy and when did all of this happen?! I'm a little stunned by the fact that I doubt I will feel much different when I'm forty. Or fifty. Do you always feel basically like a kid still but know that you're an adult? How must my parents feel, having a thirty year old child?! How is it possible that they do? It's all weird and a tad scary. Am I crazy? Perhaps I'm just really immature. I don't know.
Yesterday, my eldest child told me that if I don't want the remote control to be lost, I shouldn't have kids. Today, he told me that he wants to go to Heaven first so he can be with God and Jesus by himself. He said he's so excited to see them that he would just fall down. I think that's a fine reaction to being in the presence of God. However, when I saw him in my rear-view mirror, in a daze, I assumed he was in the backseat thinking about Spiderman or candy or just about to fall asleep. As you can tell, I was wrong. This is one of the many reasons my brain is dead at the end of the day. Thus, no blogging for two years. Thus, a miracle that I am blogging now.
I think that's all for now. I can't tell it all or solve the world's problems in one post. Maybe there will be more to come? I don't even know how people blog anymore. I think I read something about wordpress and that blogger is old news. Probably need to befriend a 20-something to help me out. :(
I am the mother of three children. Mom of three kids. Three.kids. Three kids age four and under. It still shocks me some days that I am someone's mom, let alone three someones'. When three people on this earth want their mom or think of their mom, I'm her. It's just surreal. Moms, are you with me? Does it ever stop being kind of surreal? I mean it feels reeeeeally real when they've yelled, "Moooommmmmmyyyy..." followed by one of many demands every day. So real. But it still shocks me when I really stop and think about it.
(Note: I don't think I've blogged since the induction of emojis into our society. I keep really wanting to insert certain emojis to portray my emotion, at the end of my sentences. And that "need" for it bugs me.)
Also, I'm 30. That's kind of surreal, too. I feel like I surely can't be thirty. Not that thirty is old. But thirty is just older than I ever thought I would be. Not that I thought I was going to die a premature death or anything... it's just that I guess I thought my twenties would last forever? It's just that I feel basically the same as I did at 18, only with a husband and three dependents. It's just that adulting is hard and mommin' ain't easy and when did all of this happen?! I'm a little stunned by the fact that I doubt I will feel much different when I'm forty. Or fifty. Do you always feel basically like a kid still but know that you're an adult? How must my parents feel, having a thirty year old child?! How is it possible that they do? It's all weird and a tad scary. Am I crazy? Perhaps I'm just really immature. I don't know.
Yesterday, my eldest child told me that if I don't want the remote control to be lost, I shouldn't have kids. Today, he told me that he wants to go to Heaven first so he can be with God and Jesus by himself. He said he's so excited to see them that he would just fall down. I think that's a fine reaction to being in the presence of God. However, when I saw him in my rear-view mirror, in a daze, I assumed he was in the backseat thinking about Spiderman or candy or just about to fall asleep. As you can tell, I was wrong. This is one of the many reasons my brain is dead at the end of the day. Thus, no blogging for two years. Thus, a miracle that I am blogging now.
I think that's all for now. I can't tell it all or solve the world's problems in one post. Maybe there will be more to come? I don't even know how people blog anymore. I think I read something about wordpress and that blogger is old news. Probably need to befriend a 20-something to help me out. :(
Phoebe Gwen - Birth Story
(I am posting now - a year later. This has been saved in my drafts but never posted!)
- Appointment at 38 weeks 6 days
- 5-6 cm. dilated
- Stripped membranes
- Got admitted to hospital by Dr. Huecker due to "advanced cervical dilation."
- Melissa Smith was my admitting nurse - she was in my class in nursing school. :)
- Amber Quick was my delivery nurse - she was also in my nursing class!
- Contractions were happening but nothing that I could really feel or very close together.
- Epidural
- Started pitocin at a low dose.
- Broke water - doctor commented that I had A LOT of fluid. "You win the award for most fluid!"
- Dilation progressed. My epidural was effective, but I could still feel a lot of pressure with contractions, which was nice and really a neat feeling. I could tell they were getting more and more intense. I asked to be checked at some point and was about a 9.
- Dr. Huecker came to check me. She said I was completely dilated. She told me to do a practice push to see how good I was at pushing. I pushed once and she told me to stop because I was very good at it. :) They got everything set up for delivery. I pushed 3 times and there you were! The first thing the doctor commented was that you looked like your daddy and that you were little. I was just laughing as I saw you for the first time - it is just so unbelievable for another life to suddenly be in the room. I was surprised at how little you seemed. We cuddled and admired you. You were so adorable. We couldn't decide if your hair was red or blonde. They delayed weighing you and bathing you so that we would have time to do skin-to-skin and nurse. You latched on and nursed like a champ. My epidural was wearing off but my left leg stayed completely numb for a few hours after. Eventually, they took you to the nursery to weigh you and measure you and bathe you. Your daddy went to the nursery with you. He texted me that you weighed 6 lbs. 4 oz. and were 18.5 inches long. I just could not believe how tiny you were, especially after having had Brooks who was 8 lbs. 2 oz. when he was born! Holden was about your size at 6 lbs. 5 oz. but he was born at 37 weeks.
Your Mamaw and Papaw came that night to visit you. They arrived during your bath and stayed until you came back to see and hold you. I thought you looked just like your papaw right after you were born - especially in one picture that I had taken of you. There was no doubt you were a Hubert!
The next day, Pappy, Gigi, and your brothers came to meet you. Aunt SoSo was at church camp and so she was unable to come to the hospital. I did get to Facetime with her on my phone so she got to see you that way. She thought you were the most beautiful thing ever and cried when she saw you. :) Your brothers came in with balloons and flowers for mommy. They sat on the bed with me and held you. They were very sweet about it all - just smiling and checking you out. Then they went back to being cray cray, fighting over a balloon, etc. ;)
Mommy's friend Megan also came to meet you that day. Suzanne, a friend I had worked with and who used to be our neighbor, also came to visit.
We stayed two nights in the hospital. It was a nice, peaceful time with just mommy, daddy, and you. I missed your brothers but cherished the time with just you. Giving birth and those very first newborn days are what make me want to have more babies and more babies and more babies. ;) Good thing there are two things that stop me: toddlers and preschoolers. (Hahaha.) It's just such a special and sacred and surreal time, that I know I will miss.
Phoebe Gwen, we are in awe of you and can't wait to watch you grow. Although if you wouldn't mind, please take your time.
- Appointment at 38 weeks 6 days
- 5-6 cm. dilated
- Stripped membranes
- Got admitted to hospital by Dr. Huecker due to "advanced cervical dilation."
- Melissa Smith was my admitting nurse - she was in my class in nursing school. :)
- Amber Quick was my delivery nurse - she was also in my nursing class!
- Contractions were happening but nothing that I could really feel or very close together.
- Epidural
- Started pitocin at a low dose.
- Broke water - doctor commented that I had A LOT of fluid. "You win the award for most fluid!"
- Dilation progressed. My epidural was effective, but I could still feel a lot of pressure with contractions, which was nice and really a neat feeling. I could tell they were getting more and more intense. I asked to be checked at some point and was about a 9.
- Dr. Huecker came to check me. She said I was completely dilated. She told me to do a practice push to see how good I was at pushing. I pushed once and she told me to stop because I was very good at it. :) They got everything set up for delivery. I pushed 3 times and there you were! The first thing the doctor commented was that you looked like your daddy and that you were little. I was just laughing as I saw you for the first time - it is just so unbelievable for another life to suddenly be in the room. I was surprised at how little you seemed. We cuddled and admired you. You were so adorable. We couldn't decide if your hair was red or blonde. They delayed weighing you and bathing you so that we would have time to do skin-to-skin and nurse. You latched on and nursed like a champ. My epidural was wearing off but my left leg stayed completely numb for a few hours after. Eventually, they took you to the nursery to weigh you and measure you and bathe you. Your daddy went to the nursery with you. He texted me that you weighed 6 lbs. 4 oz. and were 18.5 inches long. I just could not believe how tiny you were, especially after having had Brooks who was 8 lbs. 2 oz. when he was born! Holden was about your size at 6 lbs. 5 oz. but he was born at 37 weeks.
Your Mamaw and Papaw came that night to visit you. They arrived during your bath and stayed until you came back to see and hold you. I thought you looked just like your papaw right after you were born - especially in one picture that I had taken of you. There was no doubt you were a Hubert!
The next day, Pappy, Gigi, and your brothers came to meet you. Aunt SoSo was at church camp and so she was unable to come to the hospital. I did get to Facetime with her on my phone so she got to see you that way. She thought you were the most beautiful thing ever and cried when she saw you. :) Your brothers came in with balloons and flowers for mommy. They sat on the bed with me and held you. They were very sweet about it all - just smiling and checking you out. Then they went back to being cray cray, fighting over a balloon, etc. ;)
Mommy's friend Megan also came to meet you that day. Suzanne, a friend I had worked with and who used to be our neighbor, also came to visit.
We stayed two nights in the hospital. It was a nice, peaceful time with just mommy, daddy, and you. I missed your brothers but cherished the time with just you. Giving birth and those very first newborn days are what make me want to have more babies and more babies and more babies. ;) Good thing there are two things that stop me: toddlers and preschoolers. (Hahaha.) It's just such a special and sacred and surreal time, that I know I will miss.
Phoebe Gwen, we are in awe of you and can't wait to watch you grow. Although if you wouldn't mind, please take your time.
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