Recently, naturally, I’ve been getting a lot of questions about motherhood. Last week, one of you asked what my daughter has taught me, which made me think about how much I’ve changed in the very short time since she entered our world. Then more recently, someone asked if my daughter were to read Beau Society one day, what’s something I hope she learns about who I am at this point in my life. That had me thinking…

Dearest Harper,

I’m in awe of you.

You’ve been here for only a short while now, and somehow it feels as though you’ve always been ours. There are moments (like right now, as you sleep so soundly on my chest), I still look at you and wonder how you’re real. These last few months have been beautiful and exhausting. Sacred and so special. The longest days and the shortest season all at once.

People tell you becoming a mother changes everything, but no one tells you how, why, or when exactly. It isn’t always in the big moments. Sometimes it’s realizing that I no longer measure time in months or years, but in ounces, naps missed and naps miraculously taken, in diaper changes, and the quiet triumph of a successful transfer from my arms to your crib.

Your daddy and I look at you often and ask each other the same question: How did we get so lucky to have you?

You, whose tiny fingers already wrap around mine with a trust I pray I never take for granted. You, whose dad is officially outnumbered when it comes to choosing a movie for movie night, though I suspect he’ll secretly love every minute of it.

Everyone tells me not to blink. Now I understand why. Because already, I miss versions of you that still feel like yesterday: The way you’d make sure we’d have multiple visits throughout the night, the impossibly small diapers we swore looked enormous before you arrived.

Before I was a mother, I had never understood this feeling of being so wistful and filled with excitement at the same time. I want your baby hair to stay this soft forever, but I long for the day you might ask me to braid it down your back while we’re sitting in the grass. I could tear up at the thought of your tiny toes getting bigger, but I know that someday your big-girl feet will carry you through this big world.

It’s funny, I used to think motherhood was about raising a child. But now, I think being a mother is actually about allowing yourself to become someone new over and over again. Each day with you, I meet a different version of myself. A softer version. A stronger version. A more patient and present version. A version that loves everything and everyone — including myself — more deeply than she ever knew possible.

I’ve learned that motherhood isn’t made up of grand moments as much as the tiny, precious ones. The sway of tired hips in the middle of the night, your little milk-drunk smiles, and the quiet realization, over and over again, that my heart is now somehow living outside of my body and it always will.

And even though I know I am meant to guide you through this life, Harper Haize Allen, the truth is that already, you have taught me far more than I could ever teach you.

One day you’ll read this and know that to be true, my sweet girl.

Love,
Your mom

Cover photography by Sasha Samsonova.

Hi everyone!

For today’s issue, I wanted to answer some of your summer-related questions! I love these issues and know you do too.

Next Wednesday, I’ll be answering an extra batch of questions on a Substack Live! I can’t wait for that, so if you enjoy reading these and want a live video version, sign up for MBS!

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Now onto this week’s Qs!

What’s your favorite summer memory from growing up? -Hannah

Every summer growing up, my family would spend a week on Lake Mead, and every single day, from sunrise to sundown, I was in the water. I have the best memories, from splashing around at the beach — always in a huge sunshirt my mom made me wear, which, looking back, I’m very grateful for — to jumping off the boat in the middle of the lake where the water feels so much colder.

To this day, my brother and I still talk about the “lake sandwiches” we ate on our summer vacations. They were the same sandwiches my mom made at home, but they always tasted better at the lake. And we’d always get those nostalgic pink-frosted grocery store sugar cookies. I might try to make them this summer.

Summer parties or gatherings?! I want all the details on what planning it looks like and what your “must-haves” are for throwing a summer party. -Monique

When I’m planning a summer party, I think about the following:

1. The people! This is the most important part of any party or even just a casual hang. It could be two people or ten, but I start with who’s coming over and plan the rest from there.

2. The food. What are we eating? I tend to go simple. The other day, we had a little BBQ, and I made a summer salad with whatever I had in the fridge and pantry: avocado, cucumber, hearts of palm (underrated), and some pumpkin seeds over the top. I added a little olive oil and salt. It was delicious, and I wasn’t fussing over it.

3. The playlist. This will depend on the time of day and the kind of tone you’re trying to set. When in doubt, I’d just shuffle any of my recently played. Currently, it’s mostly Olivia Dean (still), Justin Bieber, and RAYE.

4. The decor. Again, I’m usually going simple with whatever feels fun for me to do before everyone arrives. I’m not going crazy, but I love some special little extras. Maybe I’m making cocktails with flowers (I’m committed to doing this with Angel this summer). Or writing name tags for the table and propping them up on little place-card holders (a great hostess gift!).

5. The outfit. This summer, I’m leaning into patterns and colors, which I sometimes shy away from. Lately, I’ve been into polkadots, stripes, and basically everything at Dôen. I want to be walking around my backyard with this top and the matching hot pants.

What are your best makeup tips that include SPF and makeup that doesn’t melt off your face 🫠 -Melissa

Honestly, my best tip is the Neutrogena Collagen Bank Moisturizer with SPF 30 built in. I use it all over my face. It doesn’t pill and is a great base under makeup, which I’m really not wearing much of lately. But in the summer, I always do lightweight layers. The thing I’ve learned about makeup is that if you’re scared of it melting, wear less than you think you need. With concealer, I use a teeny bit and only in the spots where I need it. I love the Mary Phillips foundation because it’s really light; I pump a tiny bit on the back of my hand and just apply it with my fingers. If I have extra time, I’ll put on mascara (love this one that’s tubing) and define my beauty marks with a freckle pen! But my philosophy in general is less is more.

What’s something your daughter has already taught you, even though she’s still so little??🥹❤️ -Sofie

Where to start! One of the most unexpected things I’ve learned from my daughter is the importance of modeling unconditional self-love. I’m obviously still learning what that looks like in practice, but during these early stages of motherhood, specifically with raising a daughter, I’ve realized that how I see myself is how she’ll see herself. It’s that simple.

What’s your favorite summer fruit to have in the house? -Tailor

Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon! All summer long.

I just graduated this weekend, so I want to know if you did anything for your graduation. You’ve said you were homeschooled. So what did the end of that look like? And what did the years that followed look and feel like? -Meredith

First of all, congratulations! You have so much to look forward to. My “graduation,” if you can even call it that, fell around the same time I signed a record deal. I was in the Hamptons to meet the label, and they got me a little graduation cake. It was super low-key. I didn’t go to college, which allowed me to jump straight into work.

What’s your favourite summer-vibe movie? -Konny

I’m committed to having a Proper Movie Night this summer. After a day in the sun, there’s nothing like curling up with a good movie. I have to think about my full list a little more, but making the Beau Summer mood board reminded me of some of the movies that feel classically summer to me:

1. A Little Romance - One of my favorites of all time. Diane Lane, Paris, young love. It’s perfect.

2. My Girl - I’m crying just thinking about it.

3. Roman Holiday - After my friend and Dickinson creator Alena Smith told me she’s currently working on an Audrey Hepburn adaptation, I decided I need a Roman Holiday rewatch.

4. Clueless - Like, duh.

5. Moonrise Kingdom - Anything Wes Anderson, but especially this.

What’s your phone wallpaper right now? -Meghan

My lock screen alternates between this, a picture of the three of us, and my favorite photo from our wedding.

What’s your favorite “windows down” song while you’re out driving? -Veronica

Oh, I love this question. What’s yours? For a long time, it was “Man I Need.” I played it literally wherever I was in the car. I think the summer version might be “Rein Me In.”

More to come on Live! We’ll be talking in depth about food, fashion, and film. Join us on Wednesday!

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You all loved the banana bread in last week’s letter. In the comments, Cindy suggested I try using cinnamon chips instead of chocolate chips, and wow, I can’t stop thinking about it! If anyone knows where to buy cinnamon chips, please let me know. This week, I made a batch of lactation cookies using this oatmeal chocolate-chip recipe (a lot of lactation cookies call for coconut, and I like this one because it doesn’t). Before you ask, yes, anyone can eat them! They’re delicious! I’m about to make more.

TO GIFT: Gentle reminder that Father’s Day is next Sunday. We have your guide. You can’t go wrong with an easy pair of shorts for summer and a framed family photo for his desk.

TO ACCESSORIZE WITH: The Isabel Marant flip-flops I’m eyeing, and a bag I could see myself carrying all summer and fall.

TO CRAFT: Cheeky crochet bookmarks!

TO REMEMBER: You don’t have to save the outfit for a special occasion. Today is a special occasion!

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Amalia’s response to This is BS (Beau Summer)!

“The older I get, the less I’m chasing a perfect life and the more I’m collecting beautiful ordinary moments.” -Amalia

Hi guys!

I hope you’re having a wonderful start to your summer! Scrolling through our chat, it looks like you all are excited to do the quintessential summer activities: gardening, painting, camping, and sitting in a beach chair. It all sounds fabulous. For me, nothing sets the tone for summer quite like the right playlist, one you can put on shuffle, an…

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Hi guys!

I’ve been thinking a lot about summer lately. This one, for many reasons, is already looking very different from summers past. While I’m somewhere in between planning casual dinners with friends a full month out and living in the moment, I’m committed to being super present this summer and making ordinary days feel extra romantic.

This week, I’ve been thinking back on what I love about summer. There are flashbacks from my childhood, swimming in our pool for endless hours until my finger pads turned into little prunes. Then I think about more recent memories from adulthood; I’ll never forget the summer I fell in love with my husband, where every moment felt electric, easy, and full of possibilities. Every summer is different, but there’s always heat, sun, a go-to playlist, movie nights, naps, sandy toes, something sweet after dinner, and a really great salad you throw together and forever wish you had written down the recipe.

Through all my reminiscing, I realized something: What I’m craving is a Beau Summer…

Beau Summer is:

• Equal parts beautiful, but never trying too hard.

• Having fresh flowers on the kitchen counter.

• Hosting when the house isn’t perfect.

• Wearing the dress and earrings.

• Getting a spray tan just because.

• Jumping in the water.

• Ordering the dessert.

• Making a road trip playlist that never ends.

• Finding seashells.

• Crafting at a messy table.

• Taking the photo.

• Romanticizing your life because this is the only one.

If you’re in, join us. We’ll be dropping Beau Summer issues throughout the next month. You’re all invited!

I never got into banana bread when everyone else was baking it, but I’ve been in the mood this week. I went a little rogue, combining a few recipes I like, adding some brewer’s yeast and oat flour for galactagogues (IYKYK). I made the batter, and then when it was in the oven, I worried I had added too many chocolate chips. But of course, that’s not possible. Take this as your sign to make a banana bread this weekend. It’s so good.

TO CELEBRATE: Pride month!!!

TO COOK: Alison Roman’s Creamy Cauliflower Pasta.

TO WEAR: An outfit I saw and can’t get out of my head. A breakdown is in our Beau Summer edit: These great Cos track shorts, a giant button-up, ballet flats, sunnies, and a dad hat.

TO DRINK: Bone broth hot chocolate. I mix a scoop of this one with hot water or warm milk as a little treat before bed. But as it gets warmer, I want to try this iced version. You all inspired me.

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “Hold steady and allow yourself to bloom.” -Yung Pueblo

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Alice’s response to I asked, YOU answered.

“we really were all included 🥹” -Alice

This past weekend, Josh and I celebrated our first anniversary. We both “dressed up” (I put on a little mascara and a pair of jeans) and sat down for a 5pm dinner at our little dining room table, our baby in her bouncy chair in between us. We had our wedding soup (tortilla), an incredible homemade mushroom pappardelle, and for dessert, a gooey butter cake, our favorite thing to order when we’re out to dinner and find it on the menu.

We took the occasion to rewatch our wedding video and went back through our camera rolls to find the first photos we ever took together. Josh and I talked about our favorite dates and memories together, and just how much life has changed in a year.

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Hi, my loves!!

Happy Friday! I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for the weekend. Thought I’d get us there with something fun: a reverse AMA, where I ask all of you questions and share your answers in a letter. I like this format for a few reasons. First of all, it helps me get to know all of you better through what you’re doing, reading, watching, and accomplishing. Secondly, compiling all your brilliant answers together gives us all a list of ideas to pull up when we need a book rec or a mental health habit to try. The power of the BS collective!

I got some amazing ideas from all of you, and I hope you find something to take with you this week.

I have two: Angel Margarita (duh) and then a glass of ice water with electrolytes. The problem is, I don’t have an electrolyte powder I particularly like, so if you have suggestions, send ‘em my way! Your drinks sound amazing and make me want to get into matcha…

Fun morning drinks:

• Honey lavender latte -Jayme

• Pistachio oat milk iced latte -Eliza

• Iced americano -Amanda

• Salted caramel cold brew -Sarah

• Banana bread iced matcha -Jordan

• Strawberry matcha with cold foam -Angelica

• Iced matcha with brown sugar syrup -Claire

• Orange and blueberry tea -Nikolette

• Banana and strawberry smoothie -Sammi

• Sparkling water with lime -Bianca

• Lavender lemonade -Page

When 5 o’clock hits…:

• French 75 -Ashley

• Hugo spritz with lime -Sarah

• Aperol spritz -Nicole

• Wildberry Lillet -Alina

• Angel Margarita -Zoey

• Classic mojito -Josie

• Raspberry mojito -Kaitlyn

• Espresso martini -Barry

• Michelada -L

• Riesling with jalapeno slices -Sarah

I asked this because I need some inspiration. I’ve decided that although it’s a hit, my go-to chicken artichoke orzo needs a rest. I’m dying to try the short-rib gnocchi from this list (thank you, Jade!).

• Lemon chicken spaghetti -Hannah

• Japanese short rib gnocchi -Jade

• Homemade pasta -Tess

• Spicy vodka pasta! The best when you listen to jazz while you cook! -Emmy

• Osso bucco - still remember the first time I nailed it -Tracy

• Surf & turf (cooked at home together!) -Sarah

• Chicken piccata -Marlane

• Roasted teriyaki-glazed salmon with vegetables and brown rice -Sarah

• Scallops and risotto -Kristen

• Pad Thai -Grace

• Homemade pizza - fun but easy to make, and you can get creative! -Alexa

• Linguine with a white clam sauce, good bread, and a chocolate dessert -Amy

• Homemade chicken alfredo with sundried tomatoes and basil -Erin

• Ottolenghi’s spiced butter pasta from Plenty -Amanda

• Red-wine braised short ribs with mashed potatoes -Garrett

Again, taking suggestions here. So many of you also loved Sophie’s pick, Strangers. Here are some other good recommendations.

• The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes -Hannah

• Imperfect Women by Araminta Hill -Kate

• Sunburn by Chloe Michelle Howard -Soph

• Tom Lake by Ann Patchett -Kaiti

• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath -Jinke

• Time Machine by H.G. Wells -Emme

• Forever, Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid -Haylee

• The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music by Dave Grohl -Sarah

• Be Ready When the Luck Happens: A Memoir by Ina Garten -Kristen

• Atomic Habits by James Clear -Rona

• Lucy by the Sea by Elizabeth Strout -Mary

• Along Came Amor by Alexis Daria -Liz

• Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke -Rachel

• The Midnight Library by Matt Haig -Brittney

• The Correspondent by Virginia Evans- Amanda

• Born a Crime by Trevor Noah -Kensema

The only playlist I can think of right now is “kids’ bathtime music,” so thank you for these suggestions!

Songs:

• “Dancing on the Wall” by MUNA -Christina

• “Dandelion” by Ella Langley -Courtney

• “Hit the Wall” by Gracie Abrams -Keira

• “People Watching” by Sam Fender -Leighton

• “Dance No More” by Harry Styles -Renee

• “EPA” by Becky G -Mac

• “Rhinestoned” by Kacey Musgraves -Kiki

• “Dancing With Myself” by Billy Idol and Generation X -Darian

• “Boston” by Stella Lefty -Carli

• “Dios es un Stalker” by Rosalía -Rona

• “Rein Me in” by Sam Fender and Olivia Dean -Anna

• “Homewrecker” by Sombr -Ceci

Albums:

• Middle of Nowhere by Kacey Musgraves -Madison

• The Great Divide by Noah Kahan -Ella

• So Close to What by Tate McRae -Rachel

• Heard It in a Past Life by Maggie Rogers -Kylee

• Florescence by Maisie Peters -Alice

• Voicenotes by Charlie Puth -Julie

• MAITREYA CORSO by Maya Hawke -Hannah

• Hit Me Hard and Soft by Billie Eilish -Ella

• Kansas Anymore by Role Model -Nina

Okay, you all love Casablanca and The Sound of Music, which was probably the last movie I watched. It’s been a minute. But these are some classics!

• Ferris Bueller’s Day Off -Lexi

• Dirty Dancing -Lindsey

• Casablanca -Ana

• Practical Magic -Melanny

• Chitty Chitty Bang Bang -Catie

• Father of the Bride -Jenna

• Gone with the Wind -Abby

• Pretty Woman -Amanda

• The Parent Trap -Norah

• Moulin Rouge -Mitch

• Stand By Me -Lex

• My Fair Lady -Emily

• The Sound of Music -Cheyenne

• True Grit -Abbie

• Breakfast at Tiffany’s -Sydney

• Say Anything -Carrie

• Citizen Kane -Nick

Since having my daughter, I’ve become exponentially more present in small ways. For example, I used to rush through my morning walks just to get outside and check it off the list. But with her, I’m going slower, observing what’s around us, pointing out what I see. I’m saying out loud, “Look at the beautiful sky,” and “Good morning to the birdies!” Some of you have elevated your mental health by…

• “Forgiving myself for things only time could’ve taught me.” -Julia

• “Taking nice long walks with good friends.” -Holly

• “Every morning, I meditate before checking my phone.” -Yakono

• “Weird, but I learned juggling. Keeps my mind empty while looking at the balls to catch.” -Loren

• “Journaling every night before bed.” -Caroline

• “Limiting social media.” -Louise

• “Waking up before everyone on the weekends to read and pet our cat.” -Jamie

• “Mindful eating techniques: Putting the fork down between bites, no distractions (phones).” -Mya

• “Going on evening walks.” -Lexi

• “I’ve been sending more ‘thinking of you’ messages to my friends.” -Tailor

• “Started reading books again…it helps me get out of my head and into another world for a little.” -Catie

• “Working out with no noise. Your advice! Clears my head and calms my heart.” -Sharon

• “Weekly calls with my sister.” -Isabel

• “Rephrasing ‘I have to…’ to ‘I get to...’” -Sarah

I’m proud of myself for just being able to be proud of myself. It’s not always easy. Also, my ability to do a lot of things one-handed these days impresses me. And you all have so much to be proud of — from half marathons to putting your art into the world to setting boundaries and stepping out of your comfort zones!

• “Just ran my first half-marathon!!” -Claire

• “Taking the first step to starting something I’ve always wanted to do :)” -Sophia

• “The way I can admire someone else’s beauty without questioning my own.” -Tailor

• “Learning to cook without a recipe.” -Ingrid

• “Beginning to let go of what other people think.” -Riley

• “Joined a women’s golf league - VERY outside of my comfort zone!” -Kiki

• “It was an uphill battle, but I finished my first year of law school!” -Maddi

• “Starting my film photography business.” -Mikala

• “Getting my pilot’s license!” -Maria

• “My work/life balance!” -Mary

• “Finally starting to write my own book.” -Callie

• “I’m a new intern at NPR!!!” -Nina

• “I posted my first cover on social media. It was a scare, but I did it!” -Valentia

If it’s not Beau Society, I’m stealing Jenna’s! BOUNDARIES SWEETHEART!

• Be Silly -Sophia

• Boundaries, Sweetheart -Jenna

• Build Structure -Tailor

• Boat Sandwiches -Paige

• Ballet Shoes -Rebecca

• Big Snuggles -Charline

• Being Single -Asereth

• Brunch Specials! -Izzy

• Bruce Springsteen -Mary

• Being Sincere -Andrea

• Bright Side -Liz

• Baby Seals -River

Thank you all for your thoughtful answers! Should we do this every month??

TO WEAR: Literally anything from our summer edit. I love it all, but my favorite thing might be this white lace skirt set!

TO READ: Eight ways to fake eight hours of sleep.

TO WATCH: Pop Culture Jeopardy! Anyone else into it this season??

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “All really great things are happening in slow and inconspicuous ways.” -Leo Tolstoy

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Nia’s response to 11 small ways to celebrate a big birthday.

“First off, happy birthday to Josh!!! 🥳🥳 Now, on the issue.. I just loved it!! My best friend’s birthday is coming up in the first week of June, and I can’t for the life of me think of a gift for her, but this issue motivated me to actually make her something and write a note for her! Thank you for the inspo, Hailee!! 💞💞” -Nia (MBS)

Hi everyone!

Thought I’d send this midweek update as a voice note, as I only have one free hand…

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I love birthdays. I love a homemade cake covered in candles. I love balloons. I love the casualness of a few friends going out to dinner and toasting to another year. I love any excuse to give someone a handwritten card.

If you read the More BS updates issue this week, you know I’ve been thinking a lot about Josh’s 30th birthday. Officially, it was yesterday, but we’re celebrating through the weekend! This is his first birthday as a dad (!!), which means we get to spend it with our little lady. Over the next few days, there will be lots of cake, quality time with close friends, and of course, some golfing.

At this point in my life, birthdays are a lot simpler. Don’t get me wrong, I love a party or night out every once in a while, but in this chapter of life, it’s the little birthday things — having breakfast together as a family, a quick “I’m so grateful you were born” message — that mean the most to me.

Earlier this week, we asked our MBS readers about a non-material birthday gift they’ve received that meant a lot to them. There were stories of friends and family setting up scavenger hunts, making custom coloring books, and creating personalized playlists. It made me reflect on some of my favorite ways to show up for someone I love on their birthday:

1. Bring the party (balloons)! Some people don’t feel comfortable pulling out all the stops and throwing a big party for themselves, so be the person who does it for them. That can mean making the playlist that sets the tone, blowing up a few balloons, or remembering the candles (and a lighter!) for the ‘happy birthday.’

2. If you can’t think of a gift, make one. I love crafts, so I get really into handmade gifts. For Josh’s gift, I had a little help from two tiny feet! But for you, maybe that means painting a card instead of buying one or baking chocolate chip cookies (this recipe!).

3. Fill your own cup. Remember, you’re at your best when you’re well-rested, well-fed, and clear-headed. On someone else’s birthday, prioritize your morning walk or 10-minute meditation, so you show up as your best self for the person you love on their day. That’s a gift.

4. Ask what’s important to them…and actually listen. If your friend tells you that all they want to do on their birthday is get a massage and curl up with a good book in the afternoon (fabulous idea, by the way), don’t try to plan a big group dinner. Maybe stop by with a handwritten card and flowers instead.

5. Don’t skip the card. I’ve always loved a handwritten card. I have friends who have gotten into making their own cards using a Cricut (people love this thing; I still have to figure out how to use mine). If you don’t have one, use heavy cardstock and watercolors. But take some time to make it personal. Think about how much this person means to you and why you love having them in your life, and write it down.

6. Take the photos (with a camera). How many times have you been to a birthday dinner and had the greatest time, but no one took a single photo? Throw a camera in your bag to capture a few candid memories (while staying off your phone).

7. Be enthusiastic about cake. I will always advocate for something sweet when you’re celebrating. If not cake, a few cupcakes from a local spot. Or, do birthday croissants or donuts! Get creative.

8. Bring presence. This is an obvious one, but being present is a gift to yourself and the person you’re celebrating! If you’re intentional about it, you’ll find you pick up on a lot more joy.

9. Share nostalgia. This week, as I was digging through old photos, finding some I’d completely forgotten about, I sent them to Josh along with the memory it brought up for me.

10. Make the best of any bad weather. If the day doesn’t go exactly as planned, roll with it. Find the silver linings. Laugh. Everyone appreciates levity and positivity.

11. Say ‘I love you.’ You can show your love in so many different ways — hopefully this gives you some ideas — but make sure you say it too.

What’s the best (non-material) birthday gift you’ve ever received??

On the theme of birthdays, in this week’s MBS chat, we asked readers to share the best non-material birthday gifts they’ve ever been given. Here’s what some of you said:

• “Hanging out with friends despite their busy schedules!” -Nick

• “I got my driver’s license on my bday and my family surprised me with a secret party — they put the location into the GPS and let me drive to the place! It was so special to me!” -Radka

• “Getting videos from my friends singing me happy birthday!!” -Tailor

• “I always appreciate it when someone gives me a birthday card… nowadays so many people send texts, which is thoughtful of course, but there’s something so personal and sweet about a handwritten card from someone you love.” -Hannah

• “My best friends taking me out for a surprise birthday dinner to my favorite restaurant!” -Laura

• “Having an afternoon tea with my family with all my favourite bakes.” -Alice

• “I got a handmade colouring book from a girlfriend once, which was insanely thoughtful.” -Ricky

• “My best friend surprised me for my birthday when she lives across the country. Best gift ever!!” -Shaelyn

• “Handwritten notes of 17 reasons I’m loved” -Kensema

• “Phone calls. It just feels more personal than a text.” -Karina

• “A playlist from my best friend.” -Vira

Beau Appétit

Earlier in the week, I came down with a little cold, so I made my favorite feel-better soup: Italian Penicillin. If you’re getting that pre-summer run-down feeling, it’s incredibly healing.

Ingredients:

• 4 cups organic chicken broth or bone broth

• 5-6 cups of water

• 3 carrots, cut and peeled

• 3 celery ribs

• 6 garlic cloves, whole

• 1 whole onion

• 1 tbs salt

• 1 tbs chicken bullion

• Pastina

• Sprinkle of Parmesan cheese

What to do with them:

In a large pot, pour in your water and broth of choice. Add all your chopped veggies plus salt, and bring to a boil. Cover the pot for 40-45 minutes, or until the veggies are tender (you can just chill). Once soft, transfer veggies into a blender, add a swig more chicken broth and some chicken bouillon for extra flavor. Blend until creamy, then add back to the pot. Add in your Pastina (the best pasta ever!?) and fresh parm on top. Optional but recommended: Eat with a slice of sourdough.

TO READ: A friend just sent me this gorgeous coffee table book, Jenny Sais Quoi. It’s all about finding — and refining — your personal style and taste.

TO TRY: Pickling! I’m considering this pickle-making jar.

TO WEAR: A breezy cover-up. Happy official start of summer!

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” -Oprah

Happy long weekend! Love you all!

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Caitlyn’s response to A collection of little things living in my head.

“I love getting a glimpse into your random thoughts bouncing around. It always makes me want to get back into journaling! I also always want to bake after I read an issue with a recipe in it. Every time I whip something up, my husband asks, “Is this a Hailee thing/recipe?“ and it always is.” -Caitlyn (MBS)

Hi! Happy Wednesday! I’m prepping for the long weekend ahead — feels like the official start to summer! This morning, while I was getting my life in order, I had a classic mom moment: making a cup of tea, forgetting it somewhere, and having to reheat it. Three times!!! Partially to avoid packing, I wanted to send you guys a quick letter with some updates, including the baby bird outside my kitchen window, a peek into my first few voice sessions for Hexed (which I can’t wait for you to see!), and the soup recipe so many of you have asked about.

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Hi everyone!

You know how some weeks feel beautifully full, others strangely slow? Well, somehow, these past few have managed to be both. In moments between the chaos, new routines, excitement, and sleepless nights, I’ve found myself jotting down random thoughts and little obsessions in the Notes app on my phone. Some are completely pointless, some are more meaningful, but all feel very top of mind right now. So this week’s issue is exactly that...a collection of little things living in my head at the moment.

Before that, though, I have to tell you, I was just texting with Anna and Alena about how fun this week’s Dickinson letter was for our MBS readers. (If you want to come join us, it’s always a good time…)

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We agreed that it feels like we wrapped filming two weeks ago, not four years ago(!). The fact that the show still hits for so many of you all these years later is so special. I loved reading about your favorite episodes; you guys loved Season 2 Episode 4 when Emily gets writer’s block and goes to the spa, and SAME.

Now onto what I’m loving lately. First, a peek into my Notes app:

As I attempt to figure out how to actually carve out dedicated time for getting dressed in the mornings, I’ve been loving the simplicity of a good set. It’s not PJs…but basically. I’ve been loving this brand Eleven Eleven (great name; my lucky number) and have been wearing their striped set all the time, mainly because it’s comfy, but I’ve been getting so many compliments on various Zoom calls that I think it gives the illusion of a real outfit. I have the long-pants version, but now I’m thinking about getting the shorts too. Also, I love anything waffle...

I talk about this brand all the time, but I’m a huge fan of Uni. I recently ordered their new shower oil, and it’s fabulous. I love how clean it is. With anything I’m putting on my whole body, that’s really important to me. I’m obsessed with this serum and body oil, too. [Uni knows I’m a fan, so they gave BS readers a code! Use code HAILEES15 for 15% off.]

My amazing doula has taught me so much about postpartum nutrition. (I feel like I could write an entire letter on this topic!) In general, she advised me to stick to warm foods during my postpartum recovery to help digestion and boost nutrient absorption, a philosophy that stems from Ayurveda. Knowing this, my mom made me this amazing albondigas soup the other day. It’s one of those rare soups that looks as good as it tastes.

You guys always ask me what I’m reading, and currently it’s The First 40 Days. It was in the gift that Ayo got me. I sent her a rambling voice note the other day to let her know how often I’ve been reaching into her postpartum emergency kit — daily! I’m halfway through this book, and every word has resonated. There’s a paragraph early on that talks about how even forty days after giving birth, you’re still in such a vulnerable state. People understand that about your new baby, but they don’t understand that about you, the mom. I’m still in this early period and need to remember to be super gentle with myself in every way — physically, mentally, nutritionally, spiritually, all of it. This book also has some fantastic recipes. I’m currently planning to make location cookies and this chocolate mousse:

Chocolate Mousse

Serves 6-8

Ingredients:

2 ripe avocados

¼ cup raw honey, coconut sugar, or maple syrup

½ cup cacao or cocoa powder

1 tablespoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

½ teaspoon sea salt

¼ cup water, nut, or coconut milk of your choice

¼ cup almond or peanut butter (optional)

1 teaspoon unflavored gelatin

Optional toppings: crushed nuts, cacao nibs, or chocolate chips, shredded coconut, dried fruit like mulberries or sliced Turkish figs, goji berries, or bee pollen

Method:

In a food processor or blender, mix the avocados, honey, cacao, coconut oil, vanilla, and sea salt with ¼ cup of water (or choice of nut or coconut milk) until smooth and creamy. If the mousse seems too thick, add more water or milk, a little at a time, as you don’t want to make it too thin.

Serve with whatever toppings you want. Store leftovers (if any!) in an airtight container in the fridge for several days.

My body has gone through a lot of change recently, so I’m taking it slow while I figure out what my workout routine will look like moving forward. But any time the weather is nice enough to get outside, I’ll get out for a quick walk. If that’s not an option, I’m on the treadmill, or the stairmaster — which I’m really into right now. A lot of you have asked if I listen to music when I work out, and I don’t really! I prefer a few minutes of silence. As for what I’m wearing during workouts, it’s normally an oversized t-shirt.

Speaking of my mom being an angel and caring for me while I care for this baby, she went out to the market the other day and came back with these gorgeous pink-purple tulips. There’s something so lovely and simple about market tulips in a mason jar. Baby girl was eying them while we worked this week.

In preparation for watching The Devil Wears Prada 2 (I still have yet to see it, but dying to), I went back and watched the original the other day. It was such a fun watch, especially now that I fully understand the references. I cackled when I heard, “How do you spell ‘Gabbana’?“ I can promise you that I didn’t the first time I watched it.

I’m also fully locked into this season of Survivor. Any Survivor fans here? I want to talk about what happened last week, but don’t want to spoil it for anyone who’s not caught up.

Speaking of Gabbana, have you seen some of the looks from Cannes this season? I’ve never been, but would love to go. It’s always been a huge fashion carpet, but it feels like it’s just getting better. My favorite looks were Demi Moore in Jacquemus, Ruth Negga’s green Dior slip dress, and this custom Miu Miu moment!

And we have to talk about the Dior show at LACMA! It was Jonathon Anderson’s first cruise show for Dior. Flowers! Crystals! Tasteful fringe!

Inspired by Dior and all things happening in Cannes, I pulled together a little edit of pieces for the upcoming season that feel like cruising around the south of France…

Shop summer in Cannes

TO WEAR: I mean, really into the Coach bag from this edit.

TO LISTEN TO: ‘Why We Shouldn’t Give Advice to Our Younger Selves.’

TO GIFT: For a reader and skincare lover, the Summer Book Club Bundle is perfect!

TO TREAT YOURSELF TO: Cute floral bowls for soup and cereal!

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “When you listen intensely to the stories of others, you see yourself.” -Esther Perel

Have the best weekend!

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Samantha’s response to Finding poetry in my life.

“Amanda seems like a gem! As an aspiring poet, I truly loved this issue. I’m currently finalizing my first transcript. My ultimate goal at first was just to finish a transcript by December 2026…now maybe I’ll take the leap & send it to publishers??🥺🫶🏻” -Samantha

Thanks for reading!!

If something resonated, hit reply.

Want more BS? Read all the past issues in the BS archive. Join us on Instagram and Pinterest, or check out my curated shopping picks updated each week.

This letter occasionally contains affiliate links, which means that in some cases, Beau Society may get a small commission from the things you buy (at no cost to you).

Hi everyone!!

Happy Tuesday and happy belated Mother’s Day to all you amazing mamas out there! My appreciation and admiration for moms has grown immensely since becoming a Mom myself. To my mom, you have set the bar so very high!! And I’m so grateful for my incredible husband, who made the day so special, filled with so much love, snuggles with our girl + his homemade banana pancakes. On another note…

I’m so glad you loved Friday’s issue with Amanda! After I finished writing it, I started thinking about Dickinson and the process — and poetry — that went into creating it. I know so many of you loved watching the show as much as we (the cast, crew, and creators) loved making it, so I thought it would be fun to make this letter a Dickinson lovefest!

To reminisce, I texted my TV sister and real-life friend, Anna Baryshnikov, and our incredible and brilliant creator, Alena Smith. I’m so grateful that I met these women at such a formative time in my life and that we’ve been able to remain so close over the years. Our recent chat and ALL THE CANDID PHOTOS really brought me back.

HAILEE: OKAY. Alena. Anna. What better place to start than with your favorite Emily Dickinson poem??

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Even before I played Emily Dickinson on TV, I was a huge fan of poetry. Growing up, I carried around a soft-cover copy of Milk + Honey that I’d often flip through when I was in music sessions. Poetry has always helped ground me. It gets me out of my head and into a dream space or a memory. And when you think about it, poetry is everywhere — it’s in the bridge of a song you can’t stop listening to, or the words you scribble in your notebook in a moment of awe or total presence.

When I thought about exploring poetry more deeply in an issue of Beau Society, there was only one person I wanted to talk to: my dear friend Miss Amanda Gorman.

Amanda needs no introduction; she’s an incredible poet, author, and advocate. We first connected a few years ago when I found out she was a Dickinson fan(!). We were officially introduced at the season three premiere, and a beautiful friendship blossomed from there. At our wedding, Amanda read a poem she’d written for us about the miracle of love. In it, she said, “These two are the terrific proof that only when all of ourselves do we give, have we ever truly loved. And only when we have ever truly loved, have we ever truly lived.” I will never forget those words or the feeling of hearing them in that moment.

The other day, I texted Amanda some poetry-related questions for this issue (I also snuck in some personal ones, too). We get into the poem that started it all for her, the specifics of her writing routine, if she’d ever write music (watch this space!!), her advice for young creatives, and of course, her BS.

You’re a poet and an amazing writer. What’s your first memory of poetry? How did you find it or did it find you?

I remember how incredible it was hearing my third-grade teacher read Ray Bradbury’s Dandelion Wine to our class. While not a poem, there was something magical about his use of metaphors and figurative language that made me want to write too.

You achieved something so historic at a young age, performing an original poem at the 2021 Presidential Inauguration when you were just 22. How did that happen? Walk me through how you felt when you got that call, how you prepared, and then going on that stage.

It was an incredible honor to perform my poem, “The Hill We Climb”, at the 2021 Presidential Inauguration. It was actually Dr. Jill Biden who recommended me to perform, as she had seen me perform a poem previously. I was extraordinarily grateful, but also terrified! I remember feeling the need to re-sanctify the space in the wake of the January 6th attack, but also wanting to honor my predecessors in such a historic place.

Tell me about your writing process. Do you have a writing routine? Are you jotting thoughts on your Notes app, or are you sitting down with a notebook?

I’d say I do both! My process typically involves listening to music, word clouds, doodling, and periods of intense focus. Writing regularly is key for me, as it helps me to retain momentum and flexibility in my work.

I find poetry so similar to songwriting. Would you ever consider writing music? Is that something you think about?

That is definitely something I think about, as I love all things music, from pop to musicals, and especially film scores and soundtracks. I will actually be working on some exciting music-related projects this year—keep an eye out ;)

How do you think poetry connects to wellness? What are three easy ways people can gently, maybe even without realizing it, infuse poetry into their everyday lives? Maybe an easy reading or journaling exercise?

Journaling is a great way to practice wellness, so I’d absolutely recommend that. I find that poetry is a great vehicle for emotion, and can help us process things that feel larger than life and impossible to express. Reading poetry can infuse your life with new perspectives and introduce you to new ideas. Try starting there—getting curious about what interests you as a reader, and that practice may lead you to writing your own poem. Remember that a poem doesn’t need to rhyme or be long to be a real poem.

Poetry as Wellness

So many of our Beau Society readers are young creatives. What’s a piece of advice you received early in your writing career — maybe at a time that you were questioning yourself — that made a big impact on you?

I would encourage young creatives to explore and trust their unique voices. Think about what excites you, what you enjoy reading, and what you can’t stop thinking about. Read, research, and write, even if it’s not great the first time around. Sometimes the best pieces are found through free writing.

Now you’re taking courses at Oxford! What has been exciting you lately? Is it still poetry, or are you exploring other forms?

It’s been a mix of genres, actually–a little poetry, but also some narrative, fiction, and screenwriting. I’m enjoying the course so far!

A word you love:

Magnanimity.

A word you hate:

Hate.

A beautiful read:

George Saunders’ Lincoln in the Bardo.

A perfect watch:

Sinners.

A song or album you heard and immediately loved:

Max Richter’s score for Hamnet.

The most delicious bite you had recently:

Mushroom risotto, cooked with care by a friend.

Something you always recommend:

Taking a deep breath and listening to something that grounds you before making a big decision.

Something you never recommend:

Acting out of vengeance. And push notifications for social media on my mobile lock and home screen.

A place that inspires you:

The ocean.

A place that drains you:

The airport.

Life advice you live by:

Be your whole and fullest self.

Your favorite kind of BS:

Book stores.

I love Amanda’s writing and highly recommend her book, Call Us What We Carry. It’s one of my favorites. I think she needs a Substack…

This Sunday is Mother’s Day here in the US, my first as a new mom! So earlier this week, I asked our MBS chat to tell a story about their mom, and the responses were incredible. I’m sharing a few here. And don’t forget to call your mom (or your friend who’s a mom, or wants to be a mom, or is currently pregnant or postpartum).

• “My favorite thing about my mom is her resilience. She lost her mom and her sister when she was very young, and I just think about all she had to go through as a woman without those two very influential people. Being able to still show up for me after all she’s been through means so much to me🩷” -Bridget

• This will be my first Mother’s Day without Mom. One of my earliest memories with her was going to pick fruit from the vine at farms in the countryside. Raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, and grapes. Sounds mundane, but it was such a good time. Mom had a presence about her that was kind, welcoming, and… just fun to be around. One of my favorite memories with mom. The imagery within the memory. Rolling hills covered in mist, rows of berries everywhere. Eating half the berries I picked.😆 Mom’s laugh and her smile. I miss her. -Sam

• I love my mom’s enthusiasm for holidays or parties. She loves to throw a party, and for any holiday, she will put in 110% to make it the best thing possible -Natalie

• Not my mom, but my older sister. She’s 13 years older than me, and she’s always been the person I went to for the things most people go to their moms for. We had other siblings, too, so our mom was very busy. But my favorite memories with her are from when I was little. She walked over from the high school just to have lunch with me. I don’t remember why it was like such a big deal, but it’s always stuck with me. -Meredith

• The quieter ways she shows up for me. whether that’s checking in with phone calls every week or randomly grabbing something from the store she knows I’d like. -Emily

• My favorite thing was how independent she was and how she taught my sister and me how to be independent, self-sufficient women. -Kerry

• Especially now that I’m off at college and getting older, my favorite thing is how she lets me just experience things, whether they’ll end up being a good or bad idea… especially in the relationship department 😃 -Emerson

• Sharing this because it literally just happened. All week, I’ve been so stressed out with work (I just started a new job!), and she just texted me that she took my car to the car wash (it’s a task I’ve been putting off), and that was just such a nice thing for her to do. -Salma

• Oh my goodness, my mother! She is the kindest and most caring person I know! I strive every day to be half the woman she is! -Loryn

  ---

TO GIFT: Something special for mom. I’m getting mine the…wait, she’s definitely reading this. Will report back!

TO WHIP UP: A sweet (or savory) Mother’s Day breakfast. For recipe inspiration, try one of these “edible gifts” from Lazy-Fancy or the NY Times Golden Diner pancakes.

TO READ: How to be more magnetic.

TO REMEMBER: You don’t need to do it all at once.

TO ENJOY: Pasta almost too pretty to eat.

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “That it will never come again is what makes life sweet." -Emily Dickinson

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Diana’s response to Two-hour FaceTime calls, “junk journaling,” and lying about your age.

“Although I always love your Friday letters and the MoreBS ones... I connected with this letter in a special way. This weekend I’m going to see THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2, and Sophie’s movie-going ritual is very similar to mine. I love movies, and going to see them at the cinema, on the biggest screen you can find, with your whole family, is a very special experience. I loved this conversation.” -Diana (MBS)

Thanks for reading!!

If something resonated, hit reply.

Want more BS? Read all the past issues in the BS archive. Join us on Instagram and Pinterest, or check out my curated shopping picks updated each week.

This letter occasionally contains affiliate links, which means that in some cases, Beau Society may get a small commission from the things you buy (at no cost to you).

I love the Met Gala. I’ve been lucky enough to go ten times, which floors me every time I say it. The most fun I ever had at a Met was probably in 2018 when I went with Prabal Gurung. Not only is Prabal a friend and an incredible designer, but that night he dressed a few other people — some I knew and some I didn’t — and we all got ready and rode the sprinter van together. Arriving at a Met alone was always intimidating to me, so going with a little group always made the night a little more relaxed, like going to a party with friends.

Another fun Met was my last one in 2021. That was my tenth year, and I wanted to have a little extra fun with it. I wore a blonde wig and learned that my hair is a major physical identifier because no one, not even people I’ve been friends with for years, knew who I was. All night, I found myself looking into confused faces and repeating, “…it’s Hailee!” I’ll never forget trying to get that wig off, either. I couldn’t find what the hairstylist gave me to break down the wig glue, so I ended up dousing my scalp with vodka from the minibar in my hotel room at 3am. What a way to go out.

Every year since, I text my friend Sophie to make sure we're both "sat" and ready for the rapid-fire exchange of texts as we watch the live stream. I love that you were all locked in, too. This comment in the chat made me lol:

These are exact screenshots of some of the texts that were exchanged last night...

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Hi everyone!

Happy Friday! Today’s letter feels like a perfect Friday send: It’s fun, bright, touches a wide range of topics — from what to text your long-distance best friend when you miss them to how to make going to the movies alone into a spiritual experience — and is chock-full of amazing recommendations and hot takes.

Today, I’m bringing on my dear friend Sophie Wood! Sophie and I met a million years ago at a mutual friend’s house. We clicked instantly. At our wedding, Goodwood (that will make sense in a minute) delivered a beautiful speech where she described our friendship as “the kind that feels eerily familiar, like you’ve known each other in a hundred lifetimes before this one,” and I couldn’t agree more. Though we currently live in different cities, we prioritize quick trips to see each other. And in between, we FaceTime when we’re doing our makeup or folding laundry and end up chatting for two hours. It helps that we have so many overlapping interests — from film to fashion to scrapbooking! I just love Sophie’s perspective on life. She moves through the world with a sense of intention that I really admire.

Without further ado, here’s SOPHIE!

First of all, tell the people how we met!

We grew up in the same hometown and met as teenagers at a mutual friend’s house over a decade ago! I don’t remember what we talked about that night, but I remember you felt incredibly warm and safe (still true today). We instantly clicked – the kind of friendship that feels eerily familiar, like you’ve known each other in a hundred lifetimes before this one. That was actually a line from my speech at your wedding!

How would you describe our friendship?

Incredibly supportive. Goofy. I know I can tell you anything and never feel judged. We’re incredibly lucky to have been through so many seasons of life together (college, cross-country moves, marriage, pregnancy!).

Couldn’t be more grateful. We (sadly) don’t live in the same town anymore, and a lot of my readers ask for advice on maintaining long-distance friendships. What do you think the secret is?

I live for our hours-long Facetimes where we get to just catch up and talk about everything and anything. Obviously, we don’t always have enough downtime to do that, so we’re both pretty good at dropping a call if we have a few minutes to chat while we’re doing our hair or makeup before leaving the house.

We’re both busy people (aren’t we all), and just dropping a quick text or voice memo to say “hi! Love you! Miss you!” goes a long way.

I love your Substack, Third Drawer! It keeps me up to date on what you’re up to! What’s something you wrote about recently that sent you down a rabbit hole?

Over the summer, I wrote “Why are you still single?” after a string of first dates that left me really existential about the generational progression of women. That sent me down a real rabbit hole, which led me to coining the term “the big gap” (which you can read about in that piece!)

You love movies! How did you get so interested in film? Do you remember the first movie you ever saw and how you felt about it?

The first films I remember watching are Clueless, Legally Blonde, and Spice World – all of which I had on VHS, so I just watched them over and over. Hilariously, all three of these films have such a strong theme of girl power that I honestly believe watching so many determined, unapologetic, and confident women on-screen shaped me into who I am today. It sounds corny, but it’s true!

Growing up, my older sister was the one who really got me into film. She showed me cult classics like Donnie Darko, Dazed and Confused, and Superstar that really opened my eyes to a whole other world of cinema.

WAIT! Speaking of your older sister, can we talk about your nickname?? Josh exclusively calls you “Goodwood”...

My sister’s clothing company and artist alias is “Badwood” (a combination of “bad” and our last name) because she was known as the wild child growing up. Subsequently, I was given the nickname “Goodwood” because I’m a homebody, never liked partying, did well in school, et cetera! In some ways, we are polar opposites, but we have always been best friends.

How important is going to the movies versus watching at home? What are your movie-watching rituals?

I could write a whole essay on how going to the movie theater is a spiritual experience to me. There are so many aspects to a film that just can’t be properly communicated at home. Take Sinners, for example. Ryan Coogler did an incredible video breaking down how the movie was shot, the aspect ratios, the difference in watching it in IMAX 70mm vs 15-Perf projection, etc. — all experiences that you could not get at home. I ended up seeing Sinners three times in theaters to be able to watch it in all the different formats, and they were all distinctly unique. Sound-wise, the score of that movie is a character in itself and so fucking soulful. I needed to hear it through a theater’s sound system to do it justice.

My perfect day at the movies is a solo-adventure to the Metrograph in New York. I’ll grab a Diet Coke and refrigerated Junior Mints. I watch one of my favorite movies of all-time on 35mm film. I’m in seat E5. Life is good.

I’m curious, do you have a critique of any of my films?

Why did Emily in Pitch Perfect 2 think it was a good idea to sing her original song “Flashlight” during the riff-off? 😭 GIRL!

I’m never living that one down 🫠 In fairness…I didn’t write the script! If we were to make a movie together, what would the story be about?

It would either be a coming-of-age story, a period piece, and/or a book adapted into a screenplay…

Obsessed with that answer, I couldn’t agree more. What are three films that you think everyone should see, and why?

1. Do the Right Thing: A Spike Lee classic. Over 40 years old and still so relevant. Saw this in 35mm, and it changed my life.

2. Donnie Darko: One of the best movie soundtracks of all time. We don’t talk enough about how absolutely stacked this cast is. Extremely weird concept about time travel that somehow works.

3. Something’s Gotta Give: Nancy Meyers… Diane Keaton… That’s all you need to know. I watched this movie five times last year.

You’re a girl about town! What’s in your bag right now?

A pink baggie of crystals and rocks (lol), a Tide-to-go stick, a small Polaroid of my sister, Crown Affair wide-tooth comb, a blue pen, Dr. Bronner’s peppermint hand sanitizer, Eadem lip softening balm in Burnt Malai, Chanel lip liner in Nude Brun, and Altoids.

What NYC service or store are you constantly recommending? Give us your Little Black Book!

• HAIR: Nicole Alexandra at Pearlita for the best cut and color.

• NAILS: Regina’s Nails in Cobble Hill for a Russian hard gel manicure.

• MASSAGE: No. 2 Spa in Park Slope for an affordable, no-frills massage.

• FACIAL: Spencer’s Spa for a more lush, treat-yourself massage. But I’ve also heard their facials are amazing.

• COBBLER: Erik Shoe Repair in the Lower East Side. The best and most affordable cobbler I’ve found in NYC.

• TAILOR: East Side Tailor in East Village. A really passionate and thorough tailor.

What’s been your favorite moment from this past year? And what did it teach you about yourself and what you want out of life in this stage of your life?

I’m normally very go-go-go, and I hate planning, so it’s easy for me to slip into a routine of working all the time and never taking breaks. After getting some pretty gnarly burnout doing that, I made it a goal to prioritize dedicated R&R, and I ended up going on some of my favorite trips in a long time: Marseille with one of my besties, Serena, a girls’ trip to Cabo… And it reminded me how connection is arguably the most important thing in life. Invest in your friendships. Get out of the rat race when you can and connect offline with your loved ones.

Go-to drink order:

Diet Coke with lemon. Or a Tonic water with lemon juice (I call this the “Grown-Up Lemonade”).

Best piece of dating advice:

“Date ‘em until you hate ‘em.” This sounds HARSH at first, but what I really mean is: Don’t write someone off after a first date. Some people are shy (like me!), and you could find a beautiful slow burn.

Favorite podcast:

Ride with Benito Skinner and Mary Beth Barone for fun. The Daily from NYTimes for keeping up to date on news.

Currently watching:

The Tudors (2007). Never watched it when it came out, but I’ve been obsessed with Anne Boleyn and Tudor history lately!

Morning routine:

Alarm at 6:15 am, “open up shop” (turn on my lights), go to the gym, or go on a walk. I like to start my morning knowing I’ve already accomplished something and taken some time for myself.

Currently reading:

Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden.

Wellness must:

Focus on making yourself strong instead of making yourself small.

Best career advice:

Hot take: Lie about your age to say you’re older. I wrote about this in a recent Substack and believe it really helped me advance in a marketing career faster.

I get out of my head by…

Junk journaling. I recently made my own Louise Carmen-inspired leather journal system by hand. It holds my to-do list, my traditional journal, and my junk journal. One of my favorite ways to unwind is to create a collage in my junk journal, almost like a scrapbook.

A cause you support:

Brooklyn Book Bodega!

Words to love by:

I keep a screenshot of Page 77 from the Call Me By Your Name script in my Notes app that reminds me to never turn bitter:

“We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster, that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!”

What’s your BS:

Big swing! Taking a shot at something a little scary <3

BS BOOK RECS

This week in the MBS chat, we talked about the books on our must-read list. Start With Yourself by Emma Grede is on my bedside table (right next to The Very Hungry Caterpillar). Here are a few of the books BS readers are excited to read this spring:

• “Currently reading Great Big Beautiful Life by Emily Henry and then gonna start Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn :)” -Salma

• “Dead Girls Don’t Talk by S. J. Paul is patiently waiting for me.” -Radka

• “I just started reading Love Song by Elle Kennedy.” -Caitlyn

• “How To Love Better and Project Hail Mary.” -Sarah

• “I’ve been reading Clarice Lispector’s Hour of the Star.” -Mia

• “Intermezzo by Sally Rooney.” -Angelica

• “I’m getting ready to read Ready Player Two by Ernest Cline. I read the first one and really liked it. I heard Steven Spielberg confirmed a sequel.” -Ryan

• “The Disappointed Wives Club by my friend Adrianne Lind!” -Kate

• “An Actor Prepares by Constantin Stanislavski and The Actor’s Life by Jenna Fischer! I’m starting acting classes soon, and these were the books recommended to me.” -Bria

• “Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid (for the second time!!) -Nia

• “I’m currently reading The Girl with the List by Shari J. Ryan. She’s a local (to me) author who writes WWII historical fiction.” -Hannah

• I just bought a well-loved copy of Outlander that I’m excited to get to :) love all things fantasy and historical fiction.” -Tatyanna

• “Still reading Cookie Club!” -Daquan

TO LISTEN TO: Maggie Gyllenhaal on Smartless. She talks about directing, “world-building,” and learning about aspect ratios.

TO SHOP: Team BS has been updating our wedding guest edit. How sweet is this tomato dress for a casual welcome party?

TO WATCH: Hope is a thing with feathers…

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “Creativity is something you are, not something you do.” -Rick Rubin

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Kurpa’s response to Hi, brother!!

Awe! I love this! You inspired me to be a better sister! -Kurpa

I’ve always been fascinated by sibling dynamics. I have an older brother, Griffin, who you know. I was homeschooled growing up, so we were never really in school together. But at home, I always felt like Griffin loved having me around, which I was so grateful for because, for a long time, he was my only friend, and then his friends became my friends. I mean…he let them be my friends. Not every older brother would be cool with their little sister hanging out with them, but Griffin always was. Rooting for each other has always been second nature to us. Sometimes I wonder if that’s because our interests are so different. But then again, if my brother were an actor, I’d want him to get every role he went up for. As we get older, we only become closer and more intentional about keeping in touch and staying connected.

Last week, I asked our MBS readers if they had questions for Griffin and me to follow up on last week’s conversation. There were so many good ones — some for Griffin about me, some for me about Griffin, but all shine a light on our dynamics and how and why we get along so well. Let’s get into it!

hii Griff! What were some of your favorite memories touring with Hailee when she was opening for Charlie Puth? And what did you like about touring, any funny/embarrassing moments? -Jake

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Hi everyone! Happiest Friday! The last few weeks have been so fun; I’ve loved every minute of putting these issues together for you. In case you missed it, in last week’s bonus More BS letter, I wrote about making music videos - going through those old fitting photos really brought me back. Today’s issue is one I’m particularly excited about, as it’s one of our most-requested ever. And I just want to say thank you for asking for it, because it was the catalyst for one of the best conversations I’ve ever had with my brother Griffin.

In this chat, we dig into topics we’ve brushed over casually in the past. But to this point, I’d never sat down with my brother and asked him, “So, what’s your earliest memory?“ or “Why do you think we get along so well?“ But I’m so glad I did because his answers gave me a fresh perspective on his unique strengths and some of my favorite childhood memories.

So, here he is, long-awaited, my brother and my first friend: Griffin Steinfeld!

H: How does it feel knowing that so many of my readers wanted to hear from you?

G: Pretty amazing. It’s kind of an honor that people like tuning into my life, seeing what I’m up to.

H: What’s one thing that most people don’t know about me that they should? You can embarrass me within reason.

G: You used to be an absolutely terrible chef. Now you’re actually pretty impressive. You’ve come a long way in a short time.

H: I hope people believe you because there’s evidence to the contrary…

G: Well, when you used to call me to ask how much water to put in the pot to boil ramen...that was a little concerning. But now you’re like, “Hey, I made this cream of mushroom soup.’ Now I’m calling you.

H: Thank you - I’ll take it! Well, you are a master chef. What is your favorite thing to cook right now?

G: Really, any meat. A lot of Italian stuff. I do ribs on the smoker. I like having fun with the sides, like mac and cheese or some barbecue baked beans. I think most of my cooking is tethered to fire, like barbecue. But if it’s just me, a super simple, amazing meal is my chicken pasta Crockpot deal.

H: You’ve told me about this! Will you send me that recipe?

G: Yes.

H: So you’re my brother, of course, but a lot of people know you for what you do, be it racing cars or tuning boats. Have you always been an adrenaline junky and into speed and motors?

G: One hundred percent, since day one. My fascination with going fast is really rooted in the science behind it. It’s not just like, Yeah, I get to drive fast! That’s the reward after a vehicle has been built from the ground up.

H: What’s your earliest memory of being into engines?

G: You know this story. But before you were even born, Mom and Dad could only take me to restaurants with ceiling fans because I would stare at them for hours trying to figure out how the fan moved air, how it worked. If the restaurant didn’t have a ceiling fan, I’d be crying and screaming, and a pain in the butt.

I think I was always just curious about how things work. Like with a vacuum: How is that thing skating across the floor, picking up everything? That was interesting to me. Then I got into remote-control cars, and then gas-powered remote-control cars with real engines. When I was five or six, I got my first Nitro RC car. I was doing circles with it in the driveway, and I would pick up on signs of what the engine needed just by using my senses. Like, it smells like this when it’s too rich or too lean. It sounds like this. I can see too much smoke out of the exhaust, or not enough. All the senses were starting to develop back then, at five or six years old, and that was teaching me how to tune an engine.

H: Can we talk about your trajectory from the remote control cars to what came next — was it the dirt-bike riding? I know you were racing before you even had a proper driver’s license, right?

G: I’ve always hung out with people who were a little bit older than me, a little more mature, a little bit smarter. I’m so thankful that I put myself in those spaces. That put me leaps and bounds ahead of people who were my age. I was a teenager hanging out with guys in their shops who had been doing this stuff their entire life. I’m picking up the skills that they’ve learned over 30, 40, 50 years.

And once I had a really good grasp of how engines work and how cars work, the next part was driving. I started with dirt bikes. It was just for fun, going down the street to the dirt lot and making one jump and just doing a hundred circles. That turned into going faster and being like, "How can I make this bike move more smoothly over these bumps?” I learned how to adjust the suspension. Now I’m going faster, and it’s safer — cool! That turned into off-road desert racing because I was too...do you really want me to tell you the whole story?

H: Yes, tell me!

G: Okay, so when I turned 15, Dad took me to Monster Jams. In between the monster trucks, they would bring out these little trophy cars — single-seater, scaled-down trucks — and kids were driving them. I was like, “Holy cow, I want to do that!” So we went down to the pits, started talking to the teams with these little trophy cars, and they told us the max age to drive a trophy car is 16. I’d just about aged out. The next step up was full-sized off-road trucks.

So I started doing forensic-level homework on what class of off-road truck I could buy, the cost, and where these races are. I did a whole breakdown. Then I went to Dad and was like, “You got a minute? Let’s sit down.” I brought my little laptop over to him and gave him a PowerPoint presentation. I essentially pitched him. I said, “Hey, look, there are three or four trucks in California that are currently for sale. There are two races we can run in. This is what it costs.” Boom, boom, boom. I gave him all the details. He looked at me and was like, “Alright, let’s go look at the first truck.” He had no idea what he was about to get himself into. He probably thought we’d buy some off-road truck with some big tires, cruise around the desert, and have fun. But this is not that. You’re essentially going to war in the desert with trucks capable of going over 100 miles per hour through three-foot riffs. Dad was totally not expecting that.

H: Was that not in the PowerPoint?

G: No, I didn’t tell him all the gnarly stuff. I played the game for sure. Anyway, we went to look at the first truck and ended up buying it. It was just under the budget. I felt good. We still had some money in the bank that we could use to make some adjustments and buy our helmets, gear, and all that stuff.

H: When you say “our” gear, you mean you and Dad. Talk about that.

G: In desert driving, you have the driver and the co-driver, who is the navigator. There’s a GPS screen that’s in front of the co-driver. Since you’re literally in the middle of the desert, and everything looks the same, you get an SD card with the track on it. So you pop your SD card into your GPS, and then you have the course map right in front of you. That map will tell you where there’s caution or danger, and you basically follow the line. That’s how off-road desert racing works. So Dad and I are out there with our first budget truck — there are trucks out there triple or quadruple the price of ours — and we don’t know what we’re doing. I’m a kid who’s getting laughed at in the driver’s meetings because they thought Dad was driving and I was the co-driver, but it was the opposite.

H: Okay, I’m going to back you up a minute...how did Dad become your co-driver? Was that also part of the presentation?

G: He was basically voluntold. I had a few friends who were like, “Dude, I want to race with you!“ But when it came time to actually wake up at three in the morning to go testing, come home after a 12-hour day to work on the track, take it all apart, inspect things, and put it all back together, they didn’t want to do it. Dad was the only one who was there, and he was hands-on with it, so he was my co-driver.

And I will give Dad props: He never got scared, never told me to slow down, never second-guessed me.

H: I remember one time you guys came back home from a race, and Dad thought he had hypothermia in his hands.

G: The first race of the year was in January, and it was pretty much snowing out there in the desert. There’s no glass in these trucks — it’s open windshield, open windows, everything’s open — because if a rock flies up, you don’t want shattered glass everywhere. We have full-face helmets and fireproof suits, but still, at 60-70 miles an hour, that 30-degree air is going to cut through your suit and gloves, and you’re going to be freezing. There were some rough elements. At the time, it was miserable. We were like, “Why are we doing this? Let’s go home and sit in the pool.”

H: How long did you do the off-road racing for?

G: A year and a half, until our series was shut down due to an unfortunate crash with another truck.

H: I remember I was there for that.

G: Yeah, that was unfortunate. So I ended up selling the off-road truck. Some time went by. Then Mom and Dad found these coupons for the NASCAR Arrive-and-Drive, where, for like 200 bucks, you could drive a NASCAR on the racetrack. They signed me up without even asking me. They were like, “By the way, we got this thing so you can go drive a race car.” So we go to Irwindale. I did that, and I did well. As we were leaving, Dad was like, “Well, how’d you like it?” I was like, “Eh, it was cool.”

H: I also think, if I remember correctly, this was an attempt for Mom and Dad to get you in a more controlled, safer environment, given how the off-road stuff ended. Right?

G: Correct. One hundred percent. So after that first Arrive-and-Drive, they were like, “Okay, we’ll sign you up for one more.” So a few weeks later, the second one comes around. Now we’re on like the second level: They put you in a faster car, and this specific day, there was a guy there with his own personal race car and a whole crew. It was literally me in a car and him. The guys were like, “You’re going to be on track with this guy, but we’re going to separate you so you’re half a track apart, so you’re nowhere near each other. He’s going to be a lot faster than you. If he comes up on you, stay on your line, and he’ll go around you. Do not try to race him.” So they set us half a track apart. Well, by the end of the 40 laps, I’d reeled him in and passed him — in a school car.

I got out of the car and was all stoked. It was pretty cool and actually challenging for me. The other guys looked at me and were like, “Dude, do you realize what you just did?? You just ran with this guy. You reeled him in and ran with him. This guy has hundreds of laps of experience on this track!” Then, on our way out, the team owner ran us down in the parking lot and was like, “Hey, if you ever want to drive, here’s my card.” He handed me his card. I ended up calling the guy and raising a few sponsorship dollars from a few companies that so graciously helped out, and I started racing in NASCAR. So it was about being in the right place at the right time for an opportunity to present itself.

H: Right place, right time. But also being prepared, having put in the work.

G: At that time, I was working out with Dad and taking it very seriously because you can’t just hop in a race car. Everyone thinks that you’re just going hundreds of miles in a circle, and that’s true, but you’re also fighting extreme temperatures inside a car. You’re in a five-to-seven-layer suit that’s north of 110 degrees.

H: I had that thought earlier about how your interest lies in the scientific part of all of this. It’s not just about going fast. It’s about doing the work, studying people, going to classes, training your body, training your mind, and understanding the craft. I think this is definitely a sport that’s misleading in that people think you can jump right into it. People think that if you’ve gone fast on the freeway, then you can race a car.

G: Right. Just because you’ve got a fast car doesn’t mean you can drive it fast.

H: Okay. So let’s talk about my favorite truck, the blue truck. I love this story!

G: Ah, yes. So I was about to turn 16. A few weeks before my birthday, we went to our friend’s house on PCH. We couldn’t get a good parking spot, so we had to park a few houses down. As we’re walking towards the house, I see this blue truck behind the gate of the driveway of this other house. I was like, “Wow, that thing is sweet. I love the color.” The guy just happened to open his front door. You and Mom kept walking to the house, but Dad and I stayed there and talked to this guy about this truck. He ended up telling us, “This truck is a father-son project; I’m never getting rid of it.” So we left, kept walking, and forgot about it. My birthday came around a few weeks later, and I was walking out of school — we always walked up the street to another parking lot to get picked up — and I saw this blue truck sitting in the parking lot. Dad tossed me the keys.

H: So the idea was: You don’t have a license yet, but that’s perfect because this truck needs work, and you can go to work on it.

G: Exactly. So this truck became my blank canvas. I was so into dirt bikes and off-road racing at that point, and this truck allowed me to go down this whole rabbit hole on the suspension and engine and all these new things. I totally immersed myself in that world. I started putting some new parts on, adding some bling-bling chrome, and just started enjoying it. The truck became my testbed for learning and R&D. Like, if I put this part on it, will it run better? Just the whole trial-and-error thing. So yes, that truck has evolved from a birthday present that was barely running but had some good paint on the outside to a 5000+ horsepower, purpose-built, full-blown race truck.

H: It’ll always be my favorite project of yours.

G: I’ve been offered some ridiculous money for that truck, and nope, it’s never going.

H: You got it from a guy who said that!

G: You can never get your first truck back once it’s gone.

H: That’s true. That’s a fun question to ask our readers:

I always love those stories of people whose first car was their Grandma’s 1995 Chevy.

G: There’s so much sentimental value in a car. It’s more than just a vehicle. It’s hard for people who aren’t into cars to understand that it’s more than just a pile of metal, rubber, nuts, and bolts. For car people, these vehicles really do have character, and they’re an extension of the owner. I’m into something totally different than Josh or you. But you like feeling a certain way when you show up somewhere, and your car helps with that feeling.

H: What’s your advice for someone who might not be able to get their dream car, but wants to make the most of the one they have? Let’s say it’s a hand-me-down that they don’t love, but that’s what they’re working with. What sort of mindset do you think people can adopt so that when they’re driving up somewhere in this car, it feels like them?

G: First off, take good care of it. If you take good care of it, it will take good care of you. Second, if you’re into modifying and personalizing, do you! Don’t let outside influence change what you like. If you want to put new wheels on, or change the sound system or the color, just do it. It’s what makes you happy. You’re the one paying for it, staring at it, and enjoying it, so make it yours.

H: I don’t know if people know you did some stunt driving for Bumblebee. And you’ve done some stunt work in other films, too, that didn’t always involve driving. But have you ever wanted to try acting in front of the camera?

G: I don’t have the talent that you have for morphing into another character. I’m not good at that. I have more talent driving something. Doesn’t matter if it’s a forklift or a race car.

H: You lost me at forklift. I would not be able to operate that!

G: I love driving forklifts.

H: You’re always working on a project. What’s currently going on in your garage?

G: It’s all the marine stuff. It’s high-performance pleasure boats. I got into boats because we grew up going to the lake every single summer. And my girlfriend Brooke [hi, Brooke!] has really reignited this whole passion for boating. I’m basically in full-blown boat mode right now.

H: What does your normal day look like?

G: Usually up at like 5:30-6. I like having a slow 30 minutes to get up. While I’m having my protein shake, I’m either down in the garage, maybe ordering parts for customer engine builds. It’s either that I’m in the garage building engines all day, or we’re going to Havasu to deliver engines, boats, or to test out engines and parts. My life is basically a lot of going for rides on people’s boats while I’m still working and tuning.

H: I think the key to life is finding that job that doesn’t feel like a job. I feel like that’s where you’re at. You work extremely hard, but you love it. Talk to me about Griffin Performance and starting your own business. Any advice you have for me with Beau Society?

G: If you have a vision or an idea, it’s usually because you see a void in the space that you can fill. You really need to lock that vision in and understand that as you progress from off the ground level, you’re going to go around corners that are going to pull you right or left, but you have to stay straight on that original vision. It’s something I struggle with. I’ll meet a certain crowd that needs this kind of work done, but doing that work doesn’t get me closer to the goal I originally set. The bottom line is find your void, find your niche, and fill it.

H: People tell me all the time that they love our brother-sister dynamic. It’s all I’ve ever known, obviously. But I’m curious, why do you think we get along so well?

G: Communication and understanding. We respect each other. If one of us is going through something, the other stops what they’re doing and listens. You sit down and help me get through something, and vice versa. If we disagree, we disagree on an adult level. We talk about it. We never scream, yell, or fight, and I think that’s what really keeps everything kosher and tight. We also give each other our space.

H: One thing I’m so grateful for is that during periods when we don’t see each other for months, we still make a huge effort to keep in touch. You’ll call me on your way to work or home from work. Anytime you pop into my brain, I’ll give you a call. There’s an effort on both ends that I’m really grateful for. We’ve done Beau Society interviews with Mom and Dad. Which parts of them do you think are like you, and which parts are like me?

G: You definitely got the discipline from Dad. I got the chill, easy, happy-go-lucky from Mom. We both got the best of Mom’s and Dad’s looks — shout out.

H: I have to say this because Dad and I quietly joke about it all the time. You and Mom are both jacks-of-all-trades. You can pick something up and build it without looking at the instruction manual, whereas we’ll be stuck there for hours trying to understand it.

G: That’s so true!

H: Fun one to end on: What’s Uncle Griffin going to be like?

G: Oh, the fun uncle for sure! We’re going to be out at the racetrack. We’ll be boating during the summertime. We’ll be going to the movies, sneaking candy in. All that good stuff.

HS: Most beautiful car ever made?
GS: Gen 5 ACR Viper.

HS: How about a boat?
GS: Holy cow. M41 DCB.

HS: What’s a car that’s popular but overrated?
GS: Most Lamborghinis and Ferraris are overrated.

HS: Coffee order?
GS: Any iced vanilla bean deal that’s kinda sweet.

HS: A non-action movie you love?
GS: The early Bad Boys movies. Although maybe that’s action…

HS: A book that changed your mind about something?
GS: The Book on Mental Toughness by Andy Frisella.

HS: The last song you listened to?
GS: “Paint It Black” by The Rolling Stones.

HS: Dream road trip route?
GS: We’ve gone around the country several times. But I would love to take the boat and go up to the Delta, into Havasu Parker, into Lake Powell, Utah, then down into Texas and hit a bunch of lakes in Texas and maybe some in Oklahoma and back around.

HS: Manual or automatic?
GS: Depends on what we’re doing. But nine times out of ten, manual.

HS: Something you’re trying to be better at?
GS: A lot. But right now it’s business. It’s staying on track with my vision, but not shutting off potential ideas or opportunities that come my way. It’s trying to balance that out.

HS: Last impulse buy?
GS: My Daytona. The boat.

HS: Favorite piece of life advice?
GS: We’re not getting out of this alive, so you might as well have fun.

HS: Your favorite kind of BS:
GS: Big speed.

TO WEAR: My favorite piece from the new Victoria Beckham x Gap collab: the denim zip shirt.

TO SEE: Highlights from Milan Design Week.

TO SHOP: Our BS Men’s Edit, inspired by our brothers, dads, boyfriends, and husbands. Shop all of the recs.

TO KNOW ABOUT: Kodak’s new 65mm film (which was used for Euphoria Season 3).

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “Flow around obstacles; keep your course.” -Miyamoto Musashi

Thank you so much, brother!! I loved every second of this conversation and had so much fun that we decided to keep it going…

In next week’s MBS letter, Griffin’s back helping me answer all of YOUR questions, ranging from what we were like growing up to who’s more competitive. See you there!

Subscribe now

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Tilly’s response to The bride wore Anthro.

“I love this issue. It’s so sweet that we can’t see the insides of your and your friends’ lives!! I love that you do the Q&As with them, it really feels like we are part of your bubble 🫧 Also, I love that you stole one of Josh’s tuxes for your outfit. Also, congrats to Katie and Sam ❤️” -Tilly (MBS)

Hi guys!!

We’re getting into the swing of wedding season, huh?? A few weekends ago, we went to a wedding for our close friends, Sam Darnold and Katie Hoofnagle. This was our first time attending a wedding as husband and wife (and mom and dad!), and everything hit differently. The love in the air felt palpable and reminiscent. And I actually don’t think there’s anything more fun than being at a wedding with your husband! 10/10 recommend.

So many small details about Sam and Katie’s wedding felt like them. Katie never went wedding-dress shopping — she found her dress at an Anthropologie in Orange County, where she worked in college! She wore her everyday jewelry, but added a few sentimental pieces, like a watch, a gift from her now-husband, and a special ‘something blue.’ Her photographer was a friend from preschool, and there were no phones allowed at the wedding…I mean, anyone who knows me knows I’m a fan of any event where that’s a rule.

As I was reflecting on the wedding this week, I texted Katie a few questions about her planning process and bridal POV. She’s the coolest!

HAILEE: Shall we start with how you and Sam met??

KATIE: We were introduced through a mutual friend at a bar in Charlotte, NC, where we were both living and working at the time.

HAILEE: How long were you together before you got engaged? Were you surprised?

KATIE: We dated for about 2 years prior to getting engaged. I knew it was coming, but Sam caught me off guard the day he actually proposed.

HAILEE: When you and Sam were starting to plan your wedding, what was most important to you?

KATIE: Sam and I have always said how fortunate we are to be surrounded by the most incredible friends and family. When we made our guest list, it was about 235 people, and every single person on that list was an important individual.

We wanted to have a Friday wedding so that we could spend the entire weekend with our guests. Our wedding was in San Diego, which was a ‘destination wedding’ for the vast majority of our friends. We wanted to give everyone the opportunity to make a trip out of it and spend Saturday together decompressing by the pool.

HAILEE: There’s a lot of general fuss around weddings. What was the most absurd thing you came across as you were planning?

KATIE: The amount of options for everything…the illusion of choice is so real. Sam and I had to make a conscious effort to be decisive when making decisions rather than dwelling on the details.

HAILEE: I loved your dress! You found it at Anthropologie?? And you worked there in college? What a cool full-circle moment!

KATIE: Yes!! I worked at Anthropologie in college and was always drawn to their wedding line [BHLDN]. I love their sophisticated yet artistic brand voice that combines a romantic, boho feel with a modern twist. About a week after I got engaged, I happened to walk by their storefront in Orange County and saw my dress hanging in the window. I fell in love with it and bought it after trying it on. I never went to another bridal store.

HAILEE: So you bought it off the rack, and it worked perfectly?

KATIE: It did! Anthropologie wedding dresses are sized in the standard women’s sizing format, so I purchased my normal size and had very minimal alterations. This was an ideal situation given our short window between engagement and wedding, as well as being in Seattle for the majority of the wedding planning process.

HAILEE: What was one thing you did that made you feel like YOU on your wedding day?

KATIE: I wore my everyday jewelry! I added a few special pieces, but I felt like myself with my normal earrings, rings, and bracelets on. Most of the jewelry I wear every day was a gift from either my parents or grandparents. One of my favorite pieces is a birthstone from my grandparents that I recently had reset into a pinky ring as my ‘something blue.’

HAILEE: You had so many personal touches woven throughout the day. Even your photographer was a childhood friend, right?

KATIE: Yes! Stephanie and I met in preschool and attended the same high school. She’s an incredibly talented photographer, and after watching her business grow and thrive over the last few years, we knew we wanted her to shoot our wedding.

HAILEE: Did you have a bridal party?

KATIE: I didn’t have a bridal party, but I invited my mom, grandmother, sister, and cousin, along with Sam’s mom, sister, and her fianceé to get ready with me.

HAILEE: What was the most unexpectedly beautiful part of the day for you? A small moment you loved but maybe didn’t anticipate being so special.

KATIE: Sam and I did our vows twice. Once over coffee before the day started, and again at our ceremony in front of everybody. I felt so present and at peace standing up there during the ceremony, having already had the opportunity to say mine and hear Sam’s.

HAILEE: Talk about that walk down the aisle for you.

KATIE: We had a beautiful string quartet perform before, during, and after the ceremony. Sam walked down the aisle to “Georgia on My Mind” by Ray Charles, a nod to The Masters since the tournament holds special meaning to both of us. I walked down to “Forever” by Noah Kahan, since he’s one of the artists Sam and I have seen together live in concert.

HAILEE: I loved your father-daughter dance at the reception! Tell me about that moment.

KATIE: My dad and I have a very goofy and easy-going relationship, and we wanted everyone in the room to feel that while we danced. We went with the upbeat song “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen, and then invited everyone back onto the dance floor.

HAILEE: A question from Josh: What was something you and Sam HAD to have at your wedding? (For reference, his number-one thing was a big black-and-white checkered dance floor.)

KATIE: In-N-Out and espresso martinis at the after party!

HAILEE: I love that you decided to have your wedding on a Friday so Saturday could be a chill hangout day! What was the day-after situation?

KATIE: Following our Saturday brunch, Sam reserved a huge cabana by the pool with an open invite for friends to come hang out. We ended up having a group of about 50 friends who stuck around and spent the afternoon sharing stories from the night before.

HAILEE: Now that you’re on the other side, what are your DOs and DON’Ts of wedding planning?

KATIE:

DOs:

• If you’re able to, hire a planner! Having someone knowledgeable about the wedding industry and well-connected with vendors makes all the difference.

• Have the bulk of your speeches at the welcome party and save wedding-day speeches for parents only. This not only saves time at the reception, but it also allows parents to have a special moment.

• Reserve the first few rows of your ceremony seating for family. We had a seating chart so everyone knew exactly where they were going.

• Take a moment immediately after the ceremony concludes to be with your partner. Our planner and photographer directed us to a private area before extended family photos started so we could have a moment to ourselves.

DONTs:

• Don’t dwell on the small details. You won’t remember the little things when it’s all said and done.

• Don’t feel like you need to do everything on your own; it’s okay to ask for help!

• Don’t spend too much time on the invitations. They’re beautifully displayed on people’s refrigerators for a few months, and then they’re recycled.

• Don’t procrastinate! Planning a wedding can be daunting, but the sooner you start making decisions, the better.

  ---

BS WITH KATIE HOOFNAGLE

H: Every wedding should have…
K: A live band.

H: No wedding should have…
K: Phones(!!!) highly recommend finding a way to do a phone-free wedding day, so everyone is present for the entirety of the day and night.

H: A wedding that inspired you (maybe one you saw in a magazine or went to when you were growing up)...
K: Yours :) The importance of understated elegance was a key point throughout our planning process.

H: That’s so sweet! Thank you! Your wedding-day beauty/wellness essentials were...
K: Electrolytes, undereye patches, and a good moisturizer first thing in the morning for skin prep.

H: The best thing you ate at your wedding was…
K: Double Double from In-N-Out while I changed into my second-look dress.

H: The best song of the night was…
K: “Mr. Brightside” (performed by the band).

H: Looking back two weeks later, the best moment was…
K: Looking around the room on our wedding day, seeing friends from preschool, college, and football who didn’t know each other, laughing and talking and smiling like they’d been friends forever — it was such a surreal moment for us.

H: Your wedding day BS…
K: Big smiles!!! :))

COSIGN THAT ONE! Now for some fun wedding extras…

TO WEAR TO A WEDDING: Literally anything pulled from our new BS wedding guest edit!

FOR THE BRIDES: If I were doing it again, these pieces would be on my list.

FOR ‘SOMETHING BLUE’: These dangly (clip-on!) earrings, a perfect Mother-of-the-bride dress, and so much more.

TO HAVE & TO HOLD: ‘Til death do us part.

FOR THE BACHELORETTE: Or honeymoon! Or day-after-wedding pool day! Linen, crochet, and my favorite flip-flops. Great finds for summer, if you’re into whites and creams.

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Katie’s response to It all started on MTV…

“Thanks for the recommendation to check out the Extremely Helpful newsletter - I loved it and am binging the Wisecrack podcast this weekend as a result. Love that this newsletter is lifting up and elevating other voices as well.” -Katie (MBS)

Hi guys!

How fun was last week’s issue with Rob and Mariel?? While putting together their issue, I went back into our shared album and found so many fitting photos I totally forgot about. Specifically, I was reminded of some of the amazing looks we’ve pulled together for my music videos…

Boy, do I miss making music videos!! I’ve always seen them as these perfect mini movies that combine my two passions: music and film. As an artist, I care deeply about every aspect of telling a story. With every song, there had to be a music video. Sure, it’s expensive to produce, chaotic to shoot, and often requires making six different outfit changes in a tiny trailer parked in the middle of nowhere. But to me, it was always worth it. Execs at my label would tell me, “No one cares about music videos anymore.” I quickly gathered what they were really saying: There’s no budget. Well, there’s always budget...and I’ve always cared! I still care today — so many people do. Hello, go look at Sabrina Carpenter’s most recent music video, posted 8 days ago, and you’ll see that 16 MILLION people care.

Fashion plays a huge role in making a music video. Almost every video I’ve ever made was shot in one day, and of course, I’d try to squeeze in as many different looks and outfit changes as I could. Lucky for me, Rob and Mariel were always game to go for it!

“I LOVE YOU’S”

Here’s what the fitting looked like:

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I love fashion. I’ve always been intrigued and fascinated by it. Fashion touches nearly every aspect of my life: from the work I do as an actor, to events and appearances related to my work, to my ever-evolving personal style, which I’m especially excited to hone in this new stage of my life. My fashion curiosity has grown exponentially through my relationship with Rob Zangardi and Mariel Haenn, my two amazing stylists, who have taught me so much about style and brought me into their creative process in an incredibly collaborative way.

The three of us have been friends for over a decade. R&M (that’s what I call them) have dressed me for music videos, MET Galas, Oscars, my wedding day, and every event in between. We’ll dive deeper into the stories of some of those specific fittings next week in MBS. But this week, I wanted R&M to come on to tell you about their careers because while they’ve taught me everything I know about fashion, they’ve also been instrumental in modeling how to work hard, trust yourself and others, form lasting relationships, and have a lot of fun along the way to building a dream life.

In our conversation, we get into how these two first got their foot in the door of the fashion industry (TRL anyone?), what a day in the life of a stylist really looks like, plus we relive our favorite looks from the past ten years — some real throwbacks!

Now onto my stylists and close friends: Rob and Mariel!

So many of our readers love fashion, but it seems like an intimidating industry to break into. How did you two first get into styling?

R: I kind of fell into it. My twin brother Joey had moved to New York and was working in casting at MTV. He introduced me to the wardrobe department, and they took a chance on me. I was a kid from Ohio, suddenly in Times Square watching the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by celebrities. It was one of those real “how did I get here?” moments. That was also the height of MTV and TRL. It was the most incredible time. A dream I could have never imagined, and honestly, the thing that set up the rest of my life. I owe everything to MTV and my brother.

M: I was in high school and was always drawn to fashion. It was the ‘90s. Jennifer Lopez and Gwen Stefani videos were dominating the charts on the MTV Top Video Countdown. I would watch their videos and think, ‘I don’t know what it’s called, but I want to dress pop stars for their music videos!’ I was 15 years old.

What was it like in those early days working at MTV?

R: MTV back then had all the access in the world. Every celebrity came through. Red carpets, award shows, appearances, we had access to everything. It was also the very beginning of the Internet. We had actual Rolodexes filled with business cards. If we got a new VJ or client, like Mandy Moore, we would messenger over their comp cards to brands like Chanel to get them interested in dressing them. We were also working off physical lookbooks, not Vogue.com. You’d sit there flipping pages and making selects. Everything was somehow slower, but at the same time, we were still dealing with the same last-minute chaos we live in today. And if there was a big red carpet, you were hoping your work would end up in print a month later or in the newspaper the next day. The back of the tabloids was both our best friend and worst enemy. You could be best-dressed in Vogue and worst-dressed in Us Weekly for the exact same outfit. It was fun. It was chaotic. And it was everything.

M: Working at MTV in the late ‘90s was such a vibe. We had so many different types of celebrities come through those hallways. In a way, it kinda felt like high school all over again. Standing in the hallways after getting my VJs dressed, waiting for the live guest of the day…it was exhilarating to say the least. It was also so much fun since I had already worked in the music industry prior to my job at MTV. It was like a reunion when I saw artists and managers I already had relationships with. It definitely felt like I was growing up and evolving from where I started. One of my greatest memories was waiting for the weeklies to come out (US Weekly, InStyle, etc.) to see how my work was judged, so to speak. I loved seeing any of the looks I styled printed in the magazines.

When did you two meet, and what made you realize early on that you worked well as a team?

R: We met at MTV a few years later and immediately became best friends. Not long after, we became partners. Our first job together was the Rihanna “Umbrella” video, which is kind of insane when you think about it. What an epic way to start a partnership. We came from completely different worlds, but somehow had the exact same eye. We would walk into a showroom and pull the exact same thing without even talking. It just always worked. I’m thankful for that partnership every day.

M: Rob worked in the same wardrobe department as me, but he was there before I started. He came back to visit; he was friends with Suchin Pak (one of my VJs). We instantly connected. He said he needed to pull jewelry for a shoot he was doing. I said, “Why don’t you look at what I have…take whatever you need!” which in hindsight was very trusting, as we had just met!

Okay, I have to know, what was it like styling Rihanna!?

R: It was wild — green screen, rain, fire, Jay-Z, dancers, puddles everywhere. It definitely tested us. But it’s still one of the most memorable jobs we’ve ever done.

M: Oh man…too many memories to count. All I can say is that there was a time when we only slept on airplanes. She was my first client and my first everything. I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for her! We grew up together and made such a statement with our work together.

Do you remember meeting me for the first time? What were your first impressions? (Be honest)!

R: It feels like we’ve worked together forever. It feels like family…and I still can’t believe you’ve added to your family. Mariel and I are so excited for you and Josh, and we cannot wait to dress this baby.

M: Oh gosh, I’ve literally been racking my brain. Honestly, I don’t remember the first time, but I have a very clear memory of when I rescued my dog Nigel and brought him to the office for a fitting. He was so small and cold that I put him in a LOUBOUTIN shoe bag and passed him around to you and your mom, and we all screamed at how cute he was.

What’s your favorite look that the three of us have ever done together, and why?

R: The VMAs, the white Alexandre Vauthier dress with the purple boots. Or the Tamara Ralph at the Oscars. We’ve had so many incredible moments, it’s hard to pick just one, but those are definitely up there.

M: I would agree with the white Alexander Vaulthier! It felt cool, effortless, and chic. But let’s add on to that with the 2017 Oscars Ralph and Russo. The “Afterlife” video had so many great looks. Dickinson Premiere! Too many press looks to pick, but I particularly love this Elie Saab moment. Also…THE WEDDING! Can’t forget those magical looks!

But if you could go back and change one, what would it be?

R: Honestly, no. I can’t think of one. Wait…can you?

M: NO NOTES.

What is your styling process? How does it work?

R: We always start by asking, “Who do we want to be?” That’s the fun part, especially with actresses who are also musicians, because you can push things a little further. We pull both together and separately, depending on the job, then bring everything into the office and set it up on the walls. Fittings are where it all comes together. Honestly, nine times out of ten, we end up going with the first thing we try on. You just feel it.

M: It all starts with the client and project or creative. We used to shop together in the earlier days, but as our business grew, we adapted to divide and conquer. As Rob mentioned, we have the same taste. Depending on the scale of the job, we always start with a game plan and then divvy up who goes where, who scours collections on Vogue.com. We always love to do fittings together when time permits, and if not, we have a shared photo album of all client fittings, and we discuss our “faves” after! Of course, ultimately it’s our client’s decision!

Unofficial stylist uniform? Anything you’re wearing and obsessed with?

R: Oversized and comfortable. Some kind of layer, a jacket, and usually a baseball hat. I really only wear a few colors: khaki, green, navy, and black. My closet kind of looks like a cartoon character. The same thing over and over.

M: I’m a big fan of less is more, unless we’re talking jewelry. As a working mom, I’m very into white t-shirts (Karla Welch’s specifically), vintage Levi’s, and a great loafer or slide. I don’t really have time to think too much about my looks since I’m raising two boys and have to think about my clients’ looks. My theory is that classics always win, plus layer up some jewelry to make it more of a personal aesthetic. It’s a good thing I married a jeweler…

How do you build a successful long-term relationship with someone you style or work with?

R: Trust, obviously. But also that we have fun. In a world that can be chaotic, we get the fun part. We’re playing with couture and diamonds. It’s an amazing job, and I think people feel that energy.

M: Trust first and foremost. I think creating a safe place to express, listen to, and share ideas. I think trust is built over time. Encouraging clients to share what they do and don’t like is important, but also being able to express when we feel strongly about trying something outside of their comfort zone. I think it’s important to allow for open ideas and not try to take control over anyone’s personal style. We are here to enhance and bring out the most beautiful version of ourselves.

Styling can be glamorous but also super chaotic. What’s the craziest scenario you’ve ever styled someone in?

R: We were trained in music, so honestly, we feel overly prepared most of the time. We have the best team, and we’re really buttoned up. We’ve had clients laugh that even our kits have kits. Zippers breaking happens more than you’d think, but we always have backups. We’re ready for anything.

M: I think I’m going to say JLo at the Super Bowl. The circumstances of a live performance, getting the stage and the entire cast ready to move to center field, and having multiple (six!) functional real time quick changes during the show — that’s probably the most high-stakes scenario. I think it felt chaotic because of the scale, but we were so buttoned up and rehearsed that we felt very, very prepared. Jen is incredibly professional and seasoned. She is such a pro, which also helps us in that high-stakes scenario!

What’s next for both of you? What’s exciting you right now in life and styling?

R: I absolutely love what I do. And recently, I started an outerwear project called AUTER, which has been really exciting creatively. You were actually one of the first people to wear it and support it, which meant a lot. Even Josh has a coat. I’m really proud of it, but styling is still very much my world.

M: What’s exciting me in life right now is raising my seven and eight-year-old sons! Whew! You have seen me through both pregnancies and held my firstborn! It really gives such a perspective on life and what matters most. I love being a stylist and working, AND I love being a mom. It is a lot of work, but I love both roles with a passion. I’ve always been cognizant of “what’s next” since the beginning of my career. I have a passion for so many things, from real estate (formerly an Airbnb super host), homes, interiors, creative directing, consulting, and working with private clients who love to collect couture clothing. I’m just open to what the universe brings next while I continue raising my sons and continuing to do what I love to do!

R&M’s QUICKFIRE BS:

Wake-up routine:

R: Coffee immediately.
M: 6:30 am, jump up and hit the ground running. Brush teeth, wash face, throw on a sweatsuit (Skims). Make breakfast, pack snacks, pack backpacks, get boys dressed, hair, teeth, in the car, and drop off. Then go home and reset for my day…and hit the ground running again. (Obviously, this is when we’re not on set.)

Jet lag hack:

R: Stay up as long as you can.
M: The second I get on the plane, I act like I’m in the time zone of my destination. So I go to sleep ASAP or stay up the whole flight, depending on where I’m going.

Red carpet survival snack:

R: McDonald’s drive-through.
M: I pack a bento box (mom life): hard-boiled egg, Parmesan cheese, and apples.

Advice you live by:

R: Trust your instinct.
M: Work hard, play hard, be kind.

Your favorite kind of positive BS:

R: Beauty Sleep. (Mariel’s better be Big Sunglasses.)
M: BLACK SUNGLASSES. ALL DAY EVERY DAY.

TO WATCH: A meeting of stylish minds. R&M styled me for this shoot. Rob was with me in New York, and we had the best time. (And yes, for those of you who asked, expect more interior design content!)

TO READ: Rob’s partner Nicolle’s Substack, Extremely Helpful. She reports on TV and movies and is hilarious.

TO FOLLOW: IZZI! I’m rarely on Instagram these days, but this girl is a great fashion follow. Case in point.

TO WEAR: A great pair of jeans, kitten-heeled sandals, and a deck of question cards to throw in your purse, all in this week’s “Leaving the house” edit.

TO KNOW ABOUT: The most popular handbag from the year you were born.

TO TAKE WITH YOU: “When we engage in what we are naturally suited to do, our work takes on the quality of play, and it is play that stimulates creativity.” -Linda Naiman

Love,
Hailee
(Beau)

Highlighting your comments on the previous week’s issue. Today, Ann’s response to Meet my closest friends.

“I was lucky enough to travel to Japan in the late seventies. Greer is spot on with her descriptions of what she experienced. A beautiful country with lovely people. Thanks for bringing back so many memories.” -Ann (MBS)

The other day, I was reflecting on my first trip to Japan. Greer inspired me, obviously. Didn’t her trip look incredible? It made me excited to get back soon. I went to Japan for the first time when I was thirteen. True Grit had just come out, and our cast was doing promotion overseas. It was technically a “work trip,” but you’d never guess it looking at these photos — that thirteen-year-old girl could not be smiling any bigger! It was a trip of firsts: my first time in Asia, my first press tour for a movie, my first experience working with a translator. I thought that last one was so cool.

There’s something special about reflecting on a place you visited for the first time over a decade ago. You remember it differently. You pick up on details you missed that have been hiding in your memory just waiting for space to reappear. I’ve been back to Japan — and throughout Asia — many times throughout my career. I’m part Filipino, so trips to the Philippines have always been really special for me. This week, I felt inspired to dig up some of the old photos! I hope it inspires you to look back on a place you love and take it in from a new vantage point.

Okay, onto some very old photos in no specific order!

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