The doctor will see you now

I just spoke with the doctor. They are going to do the surgery to remove his tonsils and adnoids on Tuesday. She said this may or may not help his apnea because Colton has both obstructive sleep apnea and is having central pauses. This is where the brain doesn't tell the body to breath. It may or may not have something to do with his stroke. They don't know. He will do another sleep study a couple of weeks after surgery and if he is still suffering from apnea episodes we will see more specialists. She said to just have him sleep with us and to wake him up throughout the night. I am really scared and frustrated but the truth is that we have no other choice but to move forward with everything. There is nothing I can do. We are just really lucky that he has made it this far and that by another miracle he has continued to breath for the last two years. They said he has been suffering from this for a long time and that his chances of dying from just leaving it is 100 times higher. I know people keep telling me how so and so had their tonsils out so many years ago and were fine but if it was just getting his tonsils out than I wouldn't be as scared..the problem is the apnea. Please keep him in your prayers!!

I need to vent

I know this is up for the whole world to see but I think more of this as a journal that anything and I NEED to vent. It is now Tuesday afternoon and here I sit with no more answers than I had when I first recieved the results in the mail. I WAS patient, and I WAITED until Monday to get some answers from our specialist. I called first thing Monday morning and they informed me that she was in surgery and would call me later in the afternoon. By 4:00 I decided to call back and they informed me that they didn't even have the results. So, I called the sleep clinic and had them fax them over to them and they told me they would have her call first thing in the morning. So, this morning, I was PATIENT once again and waited until noon to call. When I called they once again informed me that she was in surgeries and would call me tomorrow!!! I just don't know what to do. I understand we are not the only people in this world but I am so frustrated that I am getting no answers as to what we are going to do to help my baby. It was frustrating enough to get back startling results and have no one to explain it to us...and make it through the weekend, but people it is Wednesday tomorrow and I still have no answers. I can't sleep because I am so afraid to stop watching him sleep because of how many times he stopped breathing the night of the sleep test. It is terrifying. The scariest thing is that I was laying right next to him through that whole test and I didn't know how bad things really were. I thought he snored and gasped for air occasionally. This test said he had over 100 episodes through the night and that his oxygen was dropping as low as 84% through the night. One of the episodes lasted as long as 46 seconds..which doesn't sound long but it terrifying to me. When we first met with the doctor she told me that because we have heart disease in our family that Colton had a 50% higher chance of dying through an apnea episode than another child who has apnea. Anyways, sorry, I am just ranting but I am scared and I don't know what to do other then vent about it. I hope by this time tomorrow I actually have some answers...or I may go crazy!!

Not a laughing matter!

So we had an amazing day yesterday filled with primary activities, bike rides, hours at the park, putting together a stupid airplane/teeter totter, Joe Freakin Bandidos(the best mexican food in the world) and just enjoying our little family. I had gotten home from getting some food and was talking to my sis Dina..(who just had her beautiful Olivia Nicole..ahhhh!) when Greg informed me that Colton's results had come in the mail. I started reading through them panicking as I realized they weren't the results I was hoping for. The most frustrating part being that it is Saturday night and there is no one I can talk to about these results. I panicked.....and I called my mom and dad for reassurance. But, the truth is that I am really scared and I am also really mad that these results were mailed to me before I could talk to a doctor about it. I won't go into the details of it until I talk to the doctor tomorrow, other than it was two pages detailing Colton's "severe sleep apnea" and "hypoxemia". We went through so much with Colton and he just seems so perfect even though medical science said he shouldn't, that I just keep waiting for things to show up and change this perfect miracle. Anyways, we will just wait until tomorrow and see what the doctor has to say. At our previous appointment with this ENT, before she sent us for the sleep test, she literally freaked me out with some of the information for if he did indeed have apnea...so now knowing that he not only has it, but it is severe is really scary. I just pray he will be okay!!!

Tune in Tokyo!!

Poor baby Colton! The day after we got home I had to take Colton up to the Sleep Clinic. He snores like his old man...I mean an old man..okay, same thing! That part is kind of scary in and of itself but he also will go quiet and gasp for air. They are checking him for sleep apnea and if he has it then they will go in immediately and remove his tonsils and adnoids, but if he doesn't have it then they will wait to do the surgery until he is three. He was on the sleep apnea monitor for the first 2 1/2 months and was fine but they said it can develop later on. I am crossing my fingers that he is fine and that we can wait. Too scary! He was funny though because he was screaming so hard so I told him I would take a picture and he could look at himself and see what he looked like. When I showed him the picture he just started belly laughing...for about 5 seconds and then just started screaming again! I don't know how they expected him to sleep like that. What you can't see is all the things hooked up to his stomach, back and feet...but he did fairly well except for the ones up his nose. He kept waking up and pulling them out...it was a long night. Worst of all is that it took 1 1/2 hours to get home and when I got home we realized we left Mr. Stinky...um, his blankie,..up at the hospital. Ya, who cares...right?...wrong,..I am just as attached as he is because he's had that since he was in the NICU and so up we went to retrieve Mr. Stinky...and yes, this is what Colton calls him, because let's face the facts, he is stinky. I have to wash him like every other day because Mr. Stinky likes to explore Colton's nose holes and ear holes ....Lovely!! Look closely, he is sleeping as soundly as Colty! Oh, how I love my baby Colty!!!!

Anchors Away!!

So we went on this trip to celebrate 10 wonderful years of marriage. Our actual anniversary isn't until November but we have be anxiously saving up for years and some of our friends were going so we decided to celebrate early. This was to be the trip to replace our honeymoon..which was a disaster. I could explain but we'd be here all day. Lets just say, when you book a hotel online...."suites" doesn't always mean "sweet". In this case it meant, "in the ghetto, sheetless beds, no pillows, flooding toilet and a tub full of hair...." It is a very funny story, but I will maybe share on my next post or something. All my family and close friends know the story already. I kept telling Greg he needed to write to Oprah..I couldn't write that one for him because then I'd have to act surprised when I was called out of the audience!! Anyways, we really wanted to go to Hawaii but when our friends were going on a cruise we thought, what the heck, lets go..plus it was cheaper so maybe now I can get new countertops. Hey, you have to sacrifice for some things!!!

I of course was a basketcase leaving my little kids. I hate leaving them. I made a discourse for those who would be watching them. Funny enough..they survived. I'm shocked!! We flew into San Diego! I love San Diego. It was so beautiful. Although the hotel we stayed in the first night was a throw back to the old honeymoon...but,we were right across the street from the pier. It was beautiful. We all decided that we wanted some "In-n-Out" and so we payed the hotel chick to drive us there and decided to walk the 50 miles back to the hotel. Okay, so it was only 2 1/2 miles..but walking in the dark that long feels like 50 miles to me. I actually enjoyed myself but was freaking out at every sound and car that passed us. Everyone was trying to scare me...nice try guys!! I get scared walking in my own town, let alone in another state. I always make Greg walk on the outside so that he gets shot and not me....aren't I the best?

Our cruise left the next day. I was so excited but I was nervous. I seriously cried when I saw the boat..it was huge..or as my mother in law says, "It was Uge!" Greg was pumped because he knew an endless supply of "chuck a rama" food was going to be right at his fingertips!! I think one morning he had six ice cream cones....that was before lunch my friends. I thought the food was so so,..but it was still fun to eat what you want and when you want!! Good times. Oh, and for all my coke drinkin fools,..I didn't have a soda on the whole trip...and still haven't had one. We are going on nine days friends....that is definetly a record. Aren't you proud of me? Pathetic!!

So some of the highlights of the trip....we first went to Cabo San Lucas. It was beautiful. We took a tour...with some of the older folks of the cruise..but it was a blast. We got to see the city...it was actually fun. We then went snorkeling. Greg was so excited about this. I on the other hand..was a little nervous because I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a paranoid freak. Although, I think I did pretty good. Well, we got out in the water, which was actually pretty rough. I could not figure out my little breathing tube. I seriously would try to breath through it and would start hyperventilating. Greg on the other hand was quite the pro..or so he thought. I seriously spent half my time following he around apologizing for him because he never brought his head up but I swear kept swimming right up to some poor girls, almost running right into them and then you'd just hear this muffled, "Sorry" through his little mask. I mean, he is like six foot forever but serioulsy there is plenty of ocean to swim in. So embarassing. Finally after an hour I convinced him to switch masks with me. Well low and behold, I could breath through his. It was amazing. So, mine was broken. For an hour he told me to just keep trying and then he put mine on and was like, "Oh, sorry Bec, you probably were suffocating,."...hmmm, you think? We had such a good time!!!! I love memories like that. The only thing is that I swear I kept getting pushed by the waves up onto the sand and I thought I removed all that sand but when I got back to the boat to shower I had brought the enire beach with me. I couldn't believe how much sand could actually hide in my folds...I know, a little depressing that I can bring a gallon of sand back with me and not realize it.

Another funny story from the cruise is when we got back from snorkeling, we went to dinner with our friends and Greg was telling everyone how he was a snorkeling fool and was a pro and could probably be certified in snorkeling..(we had to break it to him slowly that you don't get certified in snorkeling). He was cracking us up, especially since he spent half of the time running into people....what a pro. Anyways, the next port we were going to was Ensanda. Someone told Greg maybe he could go snorkeling in Ensanda and he was like, "hmm, do you think they will have water there?" Um what? Are we not on a massive cruise ship? In the middle of the ocean? We laughed so hard..only Greg!! Ah, back off ladies, he is all mine!!!

Some of our favorite things was reading all the mispelled signs in Mexico. My favorite being this one: (this is pretty bad, but really funny..you have to admit it is funny!!!) We were driving through town and we saw this sign and we were trying to figure out what it was. It said, "Girls TD's" and then there were pictures of girls. Once we figured out what it was saying we about peed our pants. Our friend went to use the bathroom and there was a sign saying it wasn't working,...but it said, "it's not wergin". We met some great people. Greg and I actually took a cooking class and learned to make some awesome Mexican food. This was Greg's first time making something......no seriously...that wasn't a joke. Greg loved trying to make deals with all the street vendors. I hated it. Although Greg only had one deal..."one dollar" although he said it with an accent. They actually laughed at him. It was actually funny though to see how fast their price drops even though they say, "Hey lady, me have a special deal for you today, you free to look" and then that special price drops even lower when you walk away.

We ended the trip with a session at the San Diego temple. It was amazing! I love that temple! Then we headed home. I figured our adventure was at an end but it wasn't quite over. We got on our plane and guess who was in the seat right behind us? Donny Osmond!! Greg embarassed me again by chanting "Osmonds, Osmonds" as him and his family passed us and then took their seats right behind us. I am not quite as obvious, I would just pretend like I was looking at Greg and then peek through the seat at Donny through the corner of my eye! Pretty sly if I do say so myself. The stewardest's were driving us crazy though because they would not leave him alone. They were killing us. Anyways, the trip was really bumpy the whole time but the last half an hour was actually terrifying. I will not tell a lie..it was the worst I have ever felt. I know you think I am exaggerating but I am not at all. People were screaming and a lot of people were throwing up....including my husband. Everytime he through up I would get the heaves. It was actually terrifying. I think it was Donny's words to his son that got me through..just kidding. Although he was consoling his son. I just kept thinking, I am going to die and no one is going to care because all anyone will care about is Donny Osmond!!! Anyways the plane finally landed and everyone started clapping and cheering. I was so happy to be on ground and I am good not to fly for the rest of my life!!

It was a great vacation. I loved every second. I burned my body to death...I know tan fat is better than white fat but red burned blistered fat is the worst! Whoops! I missed my kids like crazy but Greg and I need a break every once in a while. I think there was one day that Greg took like five naps. I couldn't believe it! I was so happy that we went with such great friends. We would just laugh and laugh the whole time we were together. I wondered how everyone's personalities would mesh but it was perfect. Oh, and being with five seminary teachers, our waiters didn't have a chance. We left them each with a Book of Mormon. They were so amazing. I actually really felt guilty the whole time on the cruise because we would just sit and talk to some of the workers and find out their schedules and I felt horrible for them. They work seven months straight and two months off, rarely getting off the boat and they work from the moment they wake up until they go to bed....and yet they were some of the happiest people I know! I loved waking up and leaving my room for breakfast and having the cleaning boy say, "Good morning madam, how are you today" in his cheerful voice!!

It was a great experience and I am grateful for a week with Greg..but I am also grateful to be home with my boys and back to life!!

Stay tuned....

Cruise details are coming...I finally decided that doing laundry and making sure we are all clothed is first on my list this time....then it will be blogging!!!

Chow!!

Two strikes and he's OUT OF THERE!!!!

Hold your breath......ready.....okay.....they lost my baby Colton AGAIN in Nursery!!!! I will not tell a fib...it is true! I have been stewing over this one for two weeks now and I don't know what to do! The worst part is that I had just talked to the nursery leader fifteen minutes prior to that about how he had been lost in the nursery a few months back and how I have had to emotionally get over it and that he had just started going back. FIFTEEN MINUTES people!!! I mean SERIOUSLY? I had gone to check on him...because I check on him like every 15 minutes and I ran into her in the hall. I filled her in..(different nursery leader from last time) and actually told her about the complications we had in getting Colton here and how tragic it would be to have something happen to him because someone wasn't watching him (trying to make her even more sympathetic and cautious...um that didn't work!) So I headed back to Primary just as confident as I could be and happy we'd had this little chat. Church ended and Dal and I headed out to get Alex..who is close by the primary room...opposite end of the nursery by the way... and the hall was crowded and I just happened to look down and see my baby squeezing through the crowd walkin on by me. I said, "WHY is Colton all the way down here?" Just then I looked up and met eyes with that SAME nursery leader, whom I had just talked to fifteen minutes early, she then looked down at Colton and then her eyes went huge and was like, "oops!" Serious Karate instincts kicked in (no pun intended). I wanted to Karate chop whoever let him out. All of those moves from Karate Kid were coming back to me. I mean he had his picture and everything. So someone just said, "hey kid, heres your picture, now you are on your own to wander the streets..oh, and good luck on finding your parents." I am lucky he didn't go outside because the outside door is right next to the nursery and that is usually where he heads first. I picked him up and headed back to the Primary room to tell Greg what had just happened. I seriously was holding back the tears....until we reached our car. I'm sorry people...I know that it is a "FREE" service at church and that I should be happy that people are even in nursery..but I feel like I try to give my callings 100%. So, I could understand it happeneing once, but twice in a couple of months??? Come on!!!

So, what is next? Greg thinks I am a crazy person because I won't send him back. I can't...I physically can't do it. It is not worth it to me. He says he will check on him every fifteen minutes and be the first one there to pick him up..but obviously it only takes 1 second to walk out the door. Last week at church there was a lost little girl and everyone was running around the halls trying to find her. It brought back fresh memories and I vowed once again that he wasn't going back. I told Greg maybe when he's twelve going into Young Men's I could send him back. Just kidding people!!! Maybe when he's ten!! :)

Any advice for the CrAzY woman?