Fine Line

 Salam,

I have been trying to update my blog since January 2021, 1st but I don't know what stopping me from doing so that only today I managed to squeeze some time to write in here.

Right before MCO 2.0 started, I met with my close friends and we talked about how 2020 was so unpredictable, and our plan to improve the quality of our life in 2021. I am not surprised to know that both of them said that they want to work less, not because of they were planning to slacking in their work or they were ungrateful, but this whole work-from-home thingy was so confusing, that my friend was prescribed with pills for anxiety. 

Having constant accessibility to do work is a pure blessing at this trying time, however draw a very fine line between rest time and working time. Last year, I kept myself online 24 hours in the Microsoft Team so whenever I saw someone reaching me at wee hour to do some work, I felt obligated to complete the task straight away. I felt guilty (is this the right word? I am not sure but this is the closest that I can think of) to make other party waiting so I tried my best to complete the task as soon as possible. One day, I was so tired of catching deadline that I did fatal mistake in my task and before I knew it, I cried (this is so humiliating but I need have this experience recorded here) before my boss. I was lucky that my boss was so understanding, she asked me to rest. The fact that me crying before her over the phone instead of face to face so she can’t really see me sobbing is another huge blessing. 

I guess that was the turning point for me, to know where to stop. I no longer open the Microsoft Team or read email at night, except for very rare occasion of very urgent request that the other party had to contact me via phone explaining the importance or the urgency of that task. I don’t know if this sound selfish to anyone, I guess no because during this pandemic I can see that everyone exercising empathy more in which it was evident when my boss asked me to rest instead of do the correction there and then. Her exact word was ‘A, I know you are tired, please have a good rest for now. We will discuss this when you are okay, not now.’ God bless her kind soul.

Hope we will become better facing 2021’s antics, Insha Allah.