Life Can Be Beautiful

Posted on June 11, 2026 by swabby429

“We become what we think about.”–20th century author and radio commentator, Earl Nightingale

Some mornings I need more than a cup of coffee to lift my spirits. Those are times when I do a deep-dive into the garden of my mind. It is where I find a sense of purpose, inspiration, and beauty. Although I might have climbed out of bed in an owly mood, a few deep, cleansing breaths clarify the mind. Then I remember there are many things for which to be thankful, regardless of circumstance.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”–Søren Kierkegaard

At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna, I posit that while introspection about the past is helpful, if I spend an inordinate amount of mental time doing that, I don’t get much done. That’s because rehashing past events becomes addictive and quickly morphs into self-condemnation. Before long, I realize I’ve spent an hour thinking about water under the bridge that nobody, including me, couldn’t otherwise care less about. Then, I remember not to beat up myself about pondering the past, but renew the vow to be more mindful of the now.

I take another deep breath knowing that the quality of life is directly related to how much of the past one accepts and how much tranquility one cultivates within the mind. I do not need to obey many of the pressures society imposes onto people because conformity is not actually relevant. Possessing some precious ideals and virtue are vital to exploring the path that leads to my better self.

It’s the possibility of having one’s most sacred dreams come true that give direction and interest to existence. Isn’t this the definition of “giving meaning to life”? It isn’t what some expert or best-selling scheme claims we should do. Only you know and understand what brings meaning and joy to life. You set your own priorities–not other peoples’ agendas and “missions”.

“Every day more of our life is used up and less and less of it is left.”–Ancient Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius

One may choose to feel claustrophobic about the good emperor’s reminder, or one may see it as a kick in the pants to get off one’s duff and finish something imperative. Be present now for your dear loved ones and yourself. Isn’t the imperative objective in life to live it the best way you know how? Isn’t this the way to avoid disappointing oneself?

All things considered, one’s lifespan is limited, so why waste it living according to dogma, someone else’s agenda, or parroting somebody else’s life? Construct guardrails that reinforce your integrity and follow the highway you found on the map provided by your compassionate intelligence.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes French-American actor, Timothée Chalamet. “You have to realize life is coming from you, not at you.”

Posted in Contemplation, philosophy | Tagged | 8 Comments

Miracles

Posted on June 10, 2026 by swabby429

“Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you’ll see them all around you.”–American rock star, Jon Bon Jovi

An excerpt of “Wanted: Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi suddenly appeared in my car’s loudspeakers. This abruptly suspended the conversation Jonathan and I were having. The music was out of place, because it was on the classical station I always have on in the car. My friend said it was a miracle that Bon Jovi was playing in the ol’ Camry.

Moments later, a news reader announced that Jon Bon Jovi would be appearing at a charity event raising money for disaster relief. My friend laughed that he was afraid Nebraska Public Radio had changed its music format. That would not be a miracle, it would be tragic.

Jonathan had used the term “miracle” in the everyday, informal sense that shows up in casual conversation. In the sense that it describes unexpected, unlikely occurrences. He did not interpret the Bon Jovi out-take in the theological, religious sense. It was not an act of a diety or the manifestation of divinity. The song’s appearance was not a philosophical occurance because it did not violate any natural laws nor was it outside of the bounds of physical expectations. It was only a surprise to hear the clip on a classical radio station.

I’m not a traditionally religious person nor a believer in the conventional sense of that word. However, I do appreciate and love miracles in the informal, popular sense. I see dawn and dusk as amazing miracles that bookend each day. In that I have fallen in love in the romantic sense, seems miraculous. Visits by my feline friend Orange the Cat definitely fall into the miracles category. Those times when I accomplish something beyond my usual skill set feel miraculous.

Technology that we take for granted today would have seemed miraculous only a few decades ago. When I worked in Silicon Valley at Hewlett Packard, I witnessed miracles being born many times. Even though the artifacts were conceptualized and designed by engineers and technocrats, each one seemed to be a miracle. Although I was not an engineer, those with whom I talked also considered the fruits of their labor as miracles.

During my quieter moments, I observe the environmental surroundings on this amazing planet. The fact that this watery orb that rotates on its axis and brings us day and night is mind-boggling. The surface that features mountains, plains, forests, deserts, and oceans is not replicated anywhere else in the Solar System.

That we find solace within ourselves when much of the world is at war with itself, is itself miraculous. Instances when we make friends with one another and with ourselves are miracles that border on the religious definition of the word. Feeling, hearing, and seeing are miracles when we pause to appreciate our senses. Personally, I believe my life has been a series of coincidences and miracles, given that I used to be thought of as a lost cause. In that sense, miracles come close to violating the laws of nature.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes the 36th U.S. President, Lyndon B. Johnson. “If future generations are to remember us more with gratitude than sorrow, we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology. We must also leave them a glimpse of the world as it was created, not just as it looked when we got through with it.”

Posted in Contemplation, Environment, philosophy | Tagged | 7 Comments

On Sonder

Posted on June 9, 2026 by swabby429

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”–Ancient Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius

Do you remember the first time you felt intimately connected to people in a crowd or a room? You could not suppress the epiphany. Deep understanding about others dawned upon you that day. You discovered that your destiny was bound up with that of other people. You knew, deep in your heart of hearts, that other people also have desires for a good life and deeply suffer when tragedy strikes them. Everyone you encounter possesses a life as complex and profound as your own.

At that moment, you went beyond the intellectual understanding of empathy–you felt empathy deep within your bones and heart. There is a word for that brief moment–sonder. It doesn’t only happen once; sonder surprises us without warning if we’ve taken empathy for granted. Perhaps your eyes meet the eyes of a curious child who has been studying you from a distance. At that moment, you remember again what discovery feels like.

Although you’ve had the knowledge to know that everybody is the main character in their own story. Subjectivity is more than a mere concept, it is a breathing, feeling reality in every person. They play the starring role in their drama while they are indifferent to your existance. At best, your closest friend or lover has cast you in a supporting role by default. The same as you have done to them.

I first encountered the word “sonder” in a library book I had checked out in 2012. Sonder was coined by John Koenig in that book, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. In the book, Koenig created words for emotions and feelings that were in need of names. His English word blends the German adjective “sonder”–which means special–with the French verb “sonder”–which means to probe. Sonder is currently used in some circles and in Internet culture. It has yet to be accepted in major journals. The word “sonder” has become a touchstone for people who wish to describe those short, profound realizations when we are again reminded about other people’s lives being every bit as deep as our own.

During a long pause in our conversation about something that Jonathan and I had been laughing about yesterday, I noticed that my friend’s attention had been diverted. I could tell that he was contemplating something and trying to figure it out. At that moment, I knew not to interrupt the silence. I did not want to spoil his process of analysis.

For maybe a second or two, I felt sonder. Jonathan was working through a challenge or a dream that is part of his own, personal story. It turned out that Jonathan was thinking about his brother, who was going through a divorce. My friend was worried that his brother was suffering at the loss of connection and love that the marriage had provided. My brief moment of sonder was the result of observing someone else’s compassion and empathy regarding a third party. Once again, I felt interconnected with the richness of Jonathan’s life.

“The only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don’t look in your neighbor’s bowl to see if you have as much as them.”–American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and writer, Louis C.K.

Sonder is closely related to deep empathy because both concepts share the important ability to share and feel another person’s emotional life. There is wordless merging of their subjective self with your own. You see their joys and suffering through their eyes and yours. This is not an intellectual enterprise. Sonder swiftly wipes away the fog that separates you from other people. You instantly remember that they feel pain and joy in ways much like your own.

Sonder triggers deep empathy which gets into matters of perspective and deep-knowing that is rooted in attunement and emotional resonance. We know that empathy and compassion are connected to our moral lives. Empathy motivates us to feel charitably towards others and to help when we can. Empathy puts a lid on bias and aggression, while motivating acceptance and forgiveness. Sonder is the kick in the pants that reawakens us to empathetic feelings.

Sonder is one manifestation of emotional sensitivity. It jolts us into awareness of subtle emotions and feelings of others without losing our own discernment and self-awareness. We awaken empathy for adversaries and friends alike, while maintaining it for ourselves. This makes sonder both special and probing.

Namaste

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. “Are you proud of yourself tonight that you have insulted a total stranger whose circumstances you know nothing about?”

Posted in Contemplation, Friendship, Meanderings, philosophy | Tagged , | 12 Comments

On True-Blue Friends

Posted on June 8, 2026 by swabby429

“Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.”–Henry David Thoreau

Old photo albums come off the shelf on Sunday afternoons. That happened yesterday when my mind went into nostalgia mode. I wanted to enjoy pictures of some of the people with whom I was good friends. As the saying goes, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” In yesterday’s case, pictures triggered countless memories.

The group photograph of my first grade classmates reminded me of London. He prefered his given name over his nick-name Lonnie. Given that we were pals several decades ago, the memories are dim. I do remember walking to and from school with London. We also played childish games on weekends and summer vacation. He moved out of town because his father landed another job. This caused my first broken heart.

After London left, I did not have any authentically good friends–only friendly acquaintances and fun school chums. This was true until Jeff came into my life during the milestone year of eleven. He was the first kid to greet me after our family moved to Lincoln, Nebraska.

Jeff, with his arm on my shoulders

We were soon thick as thieves and blood brothers. We pushed each other’s envelopes and got into mischief together. Both of us came from dysfunctional families, so we supported each other by default. We entrusted each other with unspeakable secrets. With our burdens lifted, we were free to laugh unabashedly the way kids need to laugh. Although both of our families eventually moved away from Lincoln, Jeff and I stayed in touch through letters and phone calls until years later when he was killed in Vietnam.

During high school, I had two best friends, in succession. I met Joe in tenth grade. We were like brothers for two years until his family moved to Omaha. Beginning in twelfth grade, Brian showed up. We were both on the yearbook staff. Brian was one of the photographers. I became interested in cameras and shooting pictures largely because Brian’s fascination was contagious. The only darkroom we had available was at the school, so we spent plenty of time there processing photographs for the yearbook. We used the room two or three times for our own film, in that way, Brian taught me the fundamentals of photography. After our high school graduation, Brian and I drifted apart and attended college in different cities.

I again went through a period of not having a true-blue, best friend until several years later–when I met Doug. I’ve written about Doug many times in this blog. Doug, the amateur meteorologist was an amazing man. We were present for each other through thick and thin. When he experienced a romantic break-up I was there. When I experienced a break-up, Doug was there for me. The same closeness happened whenever happy milestones were reached for both of us. Mostly, we were pals who spent lots of time together just hanging out. Our close friendship lasted until Doug’s death a few years ago. In a sense, that relationship lives on in my daily thoughts about him.

I feel fortunate to have had the privilege to be best friends with some wonderful individuals. Those friendships enabled a good, joyful life. Although we parted company in one way or another, these friends never left the sacred space of my memory.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Mark Twain. “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

Posted in Contemplation, Friendship | Tagged | 16 Comments

Two Ineffable Bridges

Posted on June 7, 2026 by swabby429

“ineffable (ˌ)i-ˈne-fə-bəl
adjective
1.incapable of being expressed in words :
1. indescribable ineffable joy unspeakable 2. ineffable not to be uttered : taboo the ineffable name of Jehovah”–Merriam-Webster Dictionary

I have an ongoing fascination with the suspension bridges that span San Francisco Bay. The structures are commanding and sturdy. Upon seeing them, one cannot help but deduce that much of their physical strength lies in their ineffable grandeur. Although they do not have the architectural grace of a Frank Lloyd Wright building nor the classical tradition of Michelangelo’s Saint Peter’s Basilica, the bridges on the Bay are functional without being brutal.

To celebrate my eleventh birthday, I begged my parents to allow me to cross the Golden Gate Bridge alone, on foot. Two days later, I stepped onto the walkway of the famous orange, Art Deco bridge and traversed the entire span. After resting for a spell, I then returned north to my patiently waiting father. Then we crossed the span together because, why not?

Dad’s civil engineering background made him the ideal teacher to explain the many scientific and structural theories that went into the design, construction, and continuing maintenance of the massive towers, cables, and deck. The shared experience made me fall deeper in love with the landmark structure.

The next day, dad drove with the entire family over the Bay Bridge. I ached to get out of the car and walk the deck of the suspension span of the bridge complex. Dad said that we could not do that because the distance across is too far. Besides that, the west span is closed to pedestrians and bicycles. That prohibition only makes me want to cross it on foot even more. I sometimes fantasize about obtaining an exception to the prohibition. This ineffable event would need to happen before I get much older.

The dimensions of the Bay Bridge dwarf the Golden Gate’s considerably. While the Golden Gate is gorgeous to the eye, the Bay Bridge is overwhelming because of its leviathan towers and double decks. If I wasn’t afraid of heights, I’d beg to work with the Bay Bridge maintenance crew for a day without pay.

“That’s the thing about dreams–they’re ineffable. If you can get to the bottom of it, it’s not a dream.”–American stage director, playwright, screenwriter, and librettist, James Lapine

Meanwhile, every time I visit the Bay Area. The two bridges are part of the permanent agenda. I drive across both of them. On the Golden Gate, I walk to the southeast cable anchorage block and back to the northeast anchorage. I always take plenty of time to admire as much of the bridge as possible.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that one of this blog’s signature portraits depicts me holding one of the vertical cables of the bridge. During each visit to the bridge, I’m compelled to grasp one of the cables to refresh my tactile memory. If only I could grasp one of the cables of the Bay Bridge’s western span, a childhood dream would come true.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes 19th-20th century civil engineer and bridge designer, Joseph B. Strauss. “This bridge needs neither praise, eulogy, nor encomium. It speaks for itself. We who have labored long are grateful. What Nature rent asunder long ago, man has joined today. {Golden Gate opening day, May 27, 1937}”

Posted in cultural highlights, Meanderings, Transportation | Tagged , | 15 Comments

A Prairie View

Posted on June 6, 2026 by swabby429

“The region west of the Mississippi continued in the popular mind to be a strange land for which the reports of explorers and travellers did the work of fiction, and Cooper’s Prairie had few followers.”–20th century American biographer and critic, Carl Clinton Van Doren

On a whim, I decided to drive the ol’ Camry the long way home from a visit to Iowa. After continuing on Nebraska State Highway 98 across northern Wayne County, I decided to check out the wind turbines that Nebraska Public Power District had installed. Another snap decision had me take a detour onto a county gravel road to enable a closer inspection of a few of the gigantic structures.

After studying half-a-dozen or more wind turbines it was time to head back to Highway 98 which would take me home to Norfolk. However, a couple of miles down the road, an abandoned, decrepit schoolhouse caught my eye. Who could pass up a photo opportunity such as this? Unfortunately, the battery in the Sony camera was dead. Reluctantly, I substituted the camera in my Galaxy Phone. I shot several pictures, but since I was shooting towards the west into the Sun, the images would need drastic processing in my laptop at home.

I lingered near the schoolhouse several more minutes to take in the windswept vista. The north wind suddenly accelerated and captured my cap. I eventually found it snagged on a milkweed stalk–none the worse except for dust and fluff on the brim. Thankfully, the milkweed caught it before the cap would have landed on the wrong side of a barbed-wire fence.

With cap now in hand, I wandered half-a-mile south for no reason at all. It simply felt right to meander down the road–crunching gravel stones beneath my shoes. Meanwhile, high in the sky, a pair of vultures gracefully glided a wide circle off towards the east. Did they spot roadkill on Highway 98 or was it something somewhere else?

Two tumbleweeds swiftly rolled across the dirt road and bounced over the fence on their way east. Tumbleweeds, aka Russian thistle, is an invasive species from Russia and Ukraine that quickly adapted to agricultural land in many North American areas. They not only damage ecosystems, they are very flammable. If they catch fire, they spread flames and cause wildfires. Thankfully, these two were not burning.

A branch of my paternal family settled in Wayne County back in the early 20th century. At family reunions, we heard stories about homesteading and the Dust Bowl days of the Great Depression. In those days, pockets of settlers held racist opinions regarding native tribes who originally inhabited this area. Thankfully, most of that bigotry has blown away with the prevailing, wild winds of the prairie.

The final armed conflict between the U.S. Army and Native Americans took place near Wyoming in northwestern Nebraska in Sioux County. The Skirmish at Warbonnet Creek happened on July 17, 1876.

A few years earlier, on August 5, 1873, the last major battle between two indigenous tribes in the United States took place in southern Nebraska near the Republican River in Hitchcook County. During the Battle of Massacre Canyon, a Lakota war party of about 1,000 warriors launched an ambush on about 350 Pawnees. The Pawnees were on a government sanctioned bison hunt at the time. 70 Pawnee people were killed–mostly women and children.

Meanwhile, for better or worse, today’s Nebraska prairie is a peaceful place where the most heated conflicts occur Friday Autumn evenings on high school football fields. The fierce contests are basically grudge-matches that are taken far too seriously.

Approaching my car near the old schoolhouse, I thought about the inhabitants of Nebraska over the past centuries. One phenomenon all of us have had to deal with in one way or another is the incessant wind. There is an inexhaustible supply of it. It took a long time for people to harness the wind to provide electrical power. Where isolated windmills once pumped water from the Ogallala aquifer, we now have hundreds of gigantic wind turbines occupying farmland on the prairie.

Despite modern technology and scattered small towns and villages, There is still plenty of wide-open space to see and enjoy for its own sake. If you pay attention, you’ll hear and see crows, eagles, falcons, redwing blackbirds, meadowlarks, owls, at least a couple of species of hawks, and various species of songbirds. At the same time, the prairies are timeless and modern. They are beautiful in the eyes of the beholder.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes Scottish writer, the late John Burnside. “I know that the only reason American landscapes sometimes disappoint me is that, just a century before I was born, the great rivers and prairies and wild forests still existed. And they were sublime.”

Posted in cultural highlights, Hometown, Meanderings, photography | Tagged | 22 Comments

North American …Floral Friday

Posted on June 5, 2026 by swabby429

Today, we have three projects using containers that were created by North Americans in North America. I don’t know whether or not to categorize them as folk art. All three of them do display handcrafted elements of homegrown decorative art. I attempted to enhance them with floral elements that harmonize with each container.

A terra cotta vase from Mexico displays ethnic designs beneath a clear glaze on the upper two-thirds of the container.

The blue vase is marked, “Stephenson 1995” and is enscribed with an antlered deer head. The side opening provides space for the hand-woven dream-catcher. Prairie plants provide the floral elements. The souvenir cap is from the Black Hills National Forest in western South Dakota.

A short pine branch anchors three echinacea flowers. The small vase is marked, “Naljahih Navajo”. The carved trinket box is marked, “Handcrafted Native Redwood”. I don’t know if the carving represents an anteater or a bear.

Ciao

The Blue Jay of Happiness quotes 20th century British writer, Ian Fleming. “You can get far in North America with laconic grunts. ‘Huh,’ ‘hun,’ and ‘hi!’ in their various modulations, together with ‘sure,’ ‘guess so,’ ‘that so?’ and ‘nuts!’ will meet almost any contingency.”

Posted in art, Floral Arts, projects | Tagged , | 13 Comments