Posts Tagged With: clouds

The Rainbow: It Only Comes After the Storm

My morning walk with Barb began with a message from Mom.  I didn’t notice it at first, nor did I put the pieces together until several houses into our walk.  It was Barb who first wanted to just “stop” and look at the rainbow.  It was Barb who said, “this is a gift”.  Her words flooded my soul and cleansed me as I understood this was a gift from Mom.  The rainbow meant, “Stacey – it will all be okay.   You can’t get the rainbow without first having the storm.”  I felt this rainbow was meant for me.  It was not meant for anyone else in the world – just me.  Of course that is ridiculous – but at the time Mom was speaking right to my soul.  And had Barb not knocked on my door to get me for our walk, I would have missed this message.

So true does this ring in life.  How often is it that the darkest moments we flood our brains with feelings of doom and gloom.  The storm brews.  There is chaos – emotional chaos.  Last night was my storm.  The feeling of having to take Mom’s dishes away from the condo was just too much.  They are only dishes to everyone else… but to my brother and myself they are so much more.

They were carried in Mom’s hands as an extension of her love to us.  She served us literally and figuratively on those dishes.  We needed the food as much as we needed her love – and both were served in generous quantities.

It takes time to organize an emotional storm into something that is beautiful – just as it takes time for the rain and sun to produce a rainbow.

The rainbow reminded me that when one door closes, a window opens.  The dishes will be moved from Mom’s loving reach at the condo today – to Mom’s loving reach in my own home.  It’s my turn.  Mom may no longer be literally serving us – but we have been well served with her memory.

TTFN, Mom

Mom

Everything about Mom was gentle.

Categories: Mom | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pathetic Fallacy

I’m sitting outside in my backyard overlooking the Bear Creek.  Do I hear rain?  Yes.  It is rain.  The thunder clouds boom off in the distance and the sky has darkened.

What a wonderful thing it is to be dry under my gazebo.  The gazebo is ragged, torn from the dog when she was a puppy, and some of the hooks are missing for the mosquito netting – but it works and it provides shelter.

Mom is in front of me – her favorite flower in the spring were peonies.  I only have one plant – so far.  It didn’t bloom for the longest time but I think I finally got it right.

Drip, drip, drip on the gazebo shelter.  If it starts to downpour harder I don’t know that this old material will keep me dry.  All the sides are open and the breeze is so wonderfully cool.

Ben is life-guarding right now – and as I understand it – they are to come into the guard station with signs of thunder and lightening.  Grumble, grumble, grumble the sky responds to the hot air.

The bird are still chirping – but the dog is close at hand.  She doesn’t like thunder – what dog does?

When the kids were young we used to get so excited that a thunder-storm was coming – it was like a show.  I’d make a big bowl of buttered popcorn (craving some of that right now) and we get a blanket and snuggle under the blanket on the front porch and watch the scene.  We were together and the whole experience was spectacular.  The kids still request popcorn to this day – but I guess Ben won’t get any.  Nor will Katya as she is working at Canadian Tire.  Hope the power doesn’t go out again there – makes the check-out station a bit of a challenge.

On the farm, I remember how refreshing the storms were – sometimes I’d get my bathing suit on and run around in the rain (as long as there was no lightening) until I was absolutely drenched and thilthy from the mud.  I loved the rain especially when we lived in the cabin.  Mom would always play double solitaire with me.

Often, the hydro would go out and there would be quite some time until it was re-stored.  I guess that’s one of the consequences of living in the country. Dad would light the fire in the downstairs fireplace that he had constructed himself from the field-stones that were scattered over the property.  He had chiseled and split them all by himself (remember the lessons he had received from Grandpa re:  the George Straits?).  Mom was not pleased with the process as there were piles of rocks and mortar and concrete and such in the basement for at least four years.  The stone fire-place was fantastic when it was finished but it sure took a long time to complete – much to my Mother’s chagrin.

Tap, tap, tap, grumble, grumble. The weather is not sure of itself.  Rain?  Sun?  Happy?  Sad?

Oops – the golfer, Kevin, has returned from the game.  Too dangerous on the course.

And so – perhaps I will end here as my thoughts are no longer exclusive property of this post.

The rain is coming down harder – it seems to have made a decision – as have I.

Categories: Family and Friends, Life After Dad | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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