In my sixties, it hit me that most of my misery comes from a misunderstanding about what life is actually about. This life isn’t about being happy, it’s about being transformed. Happiness is the dessert, not the main course. Unfortunately, I ( and probably most of us) don’t change easily. So, it’s the challenges in life that cause us enough pain to accept the need to change and to also admit we need Grace. Later life seems to be about stages of letting go of the many things, pleasures, people, and even achievements that we think we need to be happy. Letting go of these idols is painful. And my desire to protect both myself and even those I love from any suffering often circumvents what God is trying to do in my and their lives. But, Whatever the challenge is: 1. If God is allowing it, there is a purpose. 2. Jesus has been there, experienced it, grown from it, and is in it with us. 3. If it’s happening in this life, it is temporary. 4. There’s a “pony” in it for someone, even if it’s not us. My mother’s fourteen year losing battle with Alzheimer’s was the hardest test in my past life. She came to live with us at the age of sixty-six before we knew what Alzheimer’s was. After seven years, we were in a financial crises so both of us were working, our oldest three children were in college, so we used Mom’s social security to pay for her caregiver during the day. But then she began to run away at night, so we wired our nine doors shut. Then in the middle of the night, she would try to cook and forget and leave things burning on the stove. Finally, we realized that she needed to be in a nursing home for safety. Everything in me protested. The Sunday after we put her in the nursing home, I was driving home in the evening from my job as DRE of Catholic Education at Ft. Campbell, Ky. I had not managed to get to Mass that morning and our church didn’t have a Sunday evening Mass. I felt a great need for the Spiritual and emotional support of Church. Driving home through a poor rural area, I notice people going into a tiny sort of ramshackle church. I thought of stopping and joining them, but they were all black, so I felt a white stranger might make them uncomfortable and I kept going. It had begun to drizzle and I noticed an elderly black man dressed in his “Sunday go to meeting” suit walking toward the church, so I stopped and offered him a ride back to the church. When we reached it, he cordially invited me to join them, so I took it as a nudge from the Holy Spirit and did. The God moment for me was when they sang a hymn about someday understanding their troubles. When I thought of black history in the South, their hundreds of years of struggles put mine and even mom’s in perspective and helped me hang in there with both mom and God in the next seven years of her increased suffering. But shortly after her death I was waiting in my car to meet a friend and her suffering and the sorrow of all those years overwhelmed me. I was shouting angrily at God in my mind, “WHY? WHY?” I didn’t want to be crying when my friend came, so I wiped my eyes and went into a small shop where I was parked. As I walked in the first thing that jumped out at me were the brightly colored words on a card right in front of me. It said, “THERE IS NO SORROW THAT HEAVEN CANNOT HEAL.” God is in the timing. And I cling to these memories as I face my own journey through Alzheimer’s. Neither Mom, nor I knew for many years what was causing her problems. Though knowing is scary, so far awareness seems to be a blessing for me and those who will help me make it through. And I cling to the hope that my awareness may help not only myself, but somehow might help others who are dealing with this.