Monthly Archives: February 2021

Book Talk: Depression or Book Slump?

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Hey Bookworms! I am back, trying to be consistent, but I am bit disappointed on not being able to do my Valentine’s Day post, but trying to move on. So onto the next topic that has been weighing on me lately. I dunno how long this post will be but just gonna let the words to come from my brain, into my fingers, and onto my screen.

So let me start off by saying that I started off strong. I read 19 books in total! I know I could hardly believe it either but I was trying to devour books as if they were the oxygen that helped me push through every day. I also wanted to read lighter with with some graphic novels as well. I miss them, so I was on the hunt for them on the library. That being said, some tough stuff happened, work wise towards the tail end of January. I will post more once I feel it is safe to do so, but with everything being so fresh, I feel it is best to stay quiet for now.

That being said winter is also always a hard season for me aside from Christmas. My body is very susceptible to the cold, so when it affects me physically it affects me mentally. I have still been reading in February, don’t get me wrong, I’ve read 6 in comparison so far (here is a link to my GR Reading Challenge to see).

At this point if I were to five up reading I could sink too deep into myself. The last few reads in a row though, I don’t feel myself absorbing or even getting attached. There is no couple I can cheer for, no one I can even grow to dislike. I am just feeling apathetic about it. At this point I don’t even trust my ratings.

Now am I in a slump because I read so much last month and 2 even making it to being my favorites? Is my brain making me have that degree of separation from that think that used to keep me in a somewhat happy mood. Another fun fact of when I feel like this, my brain is like let’s read ALL the books in EVERY format at once! Don’t worry I haven’t attempted it, but I did browse through the library and checked out a bunch at once. At this point I can’t puzzle it out, but trying to be patient and understanding with myself.

Anyone feeling the same? If so what are you doing to cope? Any tips? Please let me know in the comments below. Please also stay (especially those in TX my thoughts are with you all), and as always Happy Reading!

Book Talk: Are Book Groups Worth It?

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Hey Bookworms, sorry if you are hearing too much from me this week, but I’ve had a lot of topics I have been wanting to talk about lately. So I hope this brain dump/ vent isn’t too much of a hassle to read.

As you all know we have been in a pandemic, so I have been trying to find other ways to be social especially when it comes to books, but recently. I’ve had a bit of a negative experience. Let me start off by saying this is a Facebook group for women, that I decided to join, as female friendship has been something I have missed the most as much as I adore my boyfriend there are things I miss having a girl to talk to, and he doesn’t read much.

Now, before this, I’ve been enjoying the group commenting on group on what others are reading offering opinions, and sharing what I am currently reading. I don’t spend a lot of time on the group admittedly, except for what pops up on my feed. Now a new member had proudly posted how many books she read last month and was curious to know how many others in the group have read? This reader had posted she had read somewhere in the 30’s, so I happily go to post I read 19 (at that point so far), and boy did I get caught up in the comments.

Some were mild saying they didn’t like seeing the numbers as it made them feel pressured or anxious, both valid feelings, but in my opinion, not exactly nice to guilt a new member with making others feel bad. The worst comment though on this poor reader was “she must not have a job or know how to adult correctly, or only be reading audio books” that comment was too far. I was completely aghast. I was so angry, I was shaking. Now, the original poster did respond that she is currently, working, and explained how she managed her reading.

What made me upset about this though is that the job comment was made in this climate of the world. We are in a global pandemic, in which many have been laid off, some have been forced to stop working due to medical implications or living with ones at risk and needing to quarantine to keep loved ones safe, their jobs that they felt would always be needed may have ended there is a never ending list. It is disgusting to read this ablest, bullsh*t.

Now, with my disability, I am contributing as best as I can to the working world. Although I know many can’t work in the typical way, or do a “9-5”, and I can face facts that this may not be something I can always do in society’s norms. It broke my heart that someone who did not know this person’s situation or life to make assumption.

The next part of the comment that bothered me is the “adulting” assumption. The fact that the typical assumption, is having children, living on your own, etc. This is also something many people cannot do or choose not to do. Some with disabilities, cannot safely live on their own, people in general may choose not to have kids or can’t have them. There is no way to determine the normal way to adult. For me it is living with my parents, paying them rent, saving up a future with my LDR partner, taking care of 2 adorable fur babies, trying to get my creativity as well as my self back, and figuring out what I want to do for a day job while maintaining my own mental and when I can physical health. Now don’t get wrong, I do get jealous at times of social medias images of adulting or seeing where others are in their journey, but my journey is only for me to decide.

Last but not least, “she must be only reading audio books”. If you have been following me for the last 2 years at minimum, you will know that audio books are my primary form of reading lately. Reading Audio Books IS READING. YOU are still taking in the story, analyzing, getting lost in words and worlds. E-books are books, even if you can’t get the new book smell. It helps making carrying all the books that your back or shoulders may not easily be able to accommodate. Paper and hard backs are reading which is the most classic way where you can get lost in the sound of pages turning, the smell of ink, and an excuse to wander book store isles.

Why in this day and age are we being judged by how we are choosing to read. We should be praising and encouraging each other for reading no matter how we choose to do it or how we find the time to read. It can be our greatest way of coping, facing, and escaping the hardships of the real world. Reading can save a child from hardships of getting away from abuse, can give teens an escape from the bullying they may face for 6-8 hours a day, it can give EVERYONE company in the current isolation in the world as we try to keep each other safe.

I don’t know if this post even makes sense, but I needed to put words to the screen. I am hoping this experience was a once off. As bookworms can tend to be those who may have been picked on at some point in their lives, bullying in a book group was something I least expected. Does anyone have a group they can recommend instead, or how to deal with people like this? Has anyone had or seen similar experiences? Please let me know in the comments below, this is something I dearly NEED to have a conversation about. Anywho, as always Happy Reading Bookworms, please stay safe both mentally and physically.

Book Talk: I decided to do a reading challenge!

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Hey Bookworms! Hope you are all staying safe, it is blustery and windy here, so since I can’t enjoy the outdoors, why not blog? So, I decided end of last year, to do a reading challenge. It is something I have skirted for years due to fear and pressure. This year it’s time to face my fears, now, how did I go about deciding it?

Now I know the normal and most popular is the Popsugar Reading Challenge, so I thought why not look into it? And dang if my mouth didn’t drop, the amount of this list was unbelievable. Not only that, it would take a lot of research, I mean an author that shares my zodiac sign?! What am I supposed to do, hop on Twitter and ask who else is a fish (Pisces)??? Now not saying I won’t do some of these books, if I run out of ideas of what to read, but I feel my reading challenge shouldn’t take more work than reading the actual books, themselves.

So where did I head to next? Pinterest, anyone else, still sometimes obsessed with pinning? I found one that felt doable and most importantly, I found a friend to keep me accountable. One of my best LDR reading friends and a big sister figure who I adore, who has been there for me during all the chaos, Julia.

Since January has past, I will post, what I read last month along with some of my thoughts, and what I plan to read next month.

January

To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee

Now to be honest when trying to think of a book I read in school, I was drawing a blank. So, I texted Julia who kindly texted me some ideas. One of them was this, obviously, now this is a book that I didn’t read in school, and I figured since she read it in school it counted? I am so glad I picked this up especially with the climate of today’s world. This book shows that we haven’t addressed enough of the discrimination of the world, we may have taken steps, but if last year has shown us anything it is that we need to do more to make a change. The fact that children are more open to the struggles than adults are who often times choose to turn a blind eye is so important. We definitely need to do better.

Now what’s next you may ask, I thought about it, wondering about which books I was jealous of books that others read in school that I haven’t yet. I thought and thought and then I went on the path of author’s I’ve read and wanted more of. Who better than the lovely Oscar Wilde? Who’s quotes speak to me in volumes as someone of the queer community that had to stay hidden. Ding, Ding, Ding, I had a winner.

February

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Now, I haven’t started it yet, as it just became available at the library and I am currently trying to finish this book before starting another. At least when in the same format, so if you all are interested, I will write about it next month, when I figure out what I am reading for my birth month. If anyone has any tips on how to find books that came out last year let me know as I am horrible at release dates.

Anywho that’s all for now bookworms, are any of you doing any reading challenges, what do you think of the Popsugar Challenge or reading challenges in general? Have you read the first two on the list? Are you doing a challenge? If so please let me know and link yourself down below, I’d be more than happy to follow your progress! As always Happy Reading and Stay Safe!

Top Ten Tuesday: My Goals for 2021

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Hey bookworms, I am back! I know this topic was posted for a week or 2 ago, but I needed to write today, so why not start with this. I don’t know how many I am going to post or if they were be all book related, but I am gonna see what my fingers come up with. These Top Ten Tuesday themes can be found as posted by That Artsy Reader Girl. I am trying not to ramble too much, so let’s get started.

1. Get My Creativity Back

Now this may seem silly as I am writing this now, but it goes further. I want to create characters again, see the words flow out of my fingers, or even hear their voices in my head (yes, I know that can be a sign of other things), but I miss hearing them. I would even settle for writing a fanfiction, more poetry, no, I am not trying to pressure myself, but this was always the person I know I was meant to be. I want to help others find refuge as the same way these creators have helped me find in the past. My best Christmas gift was a subscription to Masterclass, gifted by my Tia. I am literally hanging on Gaiman’s words and I want to create, it’s just hard to know how to anymore. How to create? Question of my life lately, anyone else struggling with that, please let me know I am not on my own.

2. Get a Laptop of My Own

Now this may sound silly as I am writing on one currently, but this is mom’s chrome book, and it’s always different working on my own. The problem with that is the expense, and the guilt that comes with buying something of my own, but I don’t have the same guilt buying something just as expensive for others. My brain makes no sense to me, but I am determined to get past that even if it is buying it on credit and paying it down. The ability to just get on it whenever I want, always having it close buy.

3. Find a Job I Like

Now maybe this isn’t something I can accomplish in 2021 (COVID and having to only work remotely being at risk and living with my mom who is at risk), but I want to get on a path to a day job that makes me feel appreciated, that I feel doesn’t drain me to my core. I know writing is my passion, but can I as rusty as I am turn this into a career, am I ready to bare more to the world, would I be able to find a niche, or do I pursue going back to school to go into a different field? I know I always say age is just a number,but at almost 30 I can’t help but compare myself to my peers seeming to have found their purpose. It just seems to be a circle even if I don’t want the same paths they do. I feel like I am lost, when I used to have such a fire.

4. Read 100-150 Books

I read 147 books last year, and I want to definitely want to try to do better, but I also don’t want to pressure myself more. My current goal is set to, 100 on good reads, and as I am writing this I’ve read 17. I currently have a bit of free time on my hands and will post about that at a later time, right now I don’t feel secure to.

5. Read More Print

Now by no means am I belittling my audiobook reads, as I am currently reading one I am writing this. I adore that I can control the speed to read faster and have my hands free to do other things such as type, cuddle and chase around our new puppy. I feel bad that I have neglected my print books, whether they be E-books or Physical. There is so much on both shelves that I need to tackle, my concussion has long since healed there is no reason, I can’t ease myself back into them. Plus I have so many cute book marks that are begging to be used.

6. Read at least 3 different Genre Types

Now, I like most readers can be like Sheldon Cooper, sticking to genres I know and love, but one thing I am most proud of last year was how many different genres I read: contemporary fiction, historical fiction, memoirs. I want to keep this trend going.

7. Visit Another Country (Whether it Be Fictional or In Person)

Whether it’s in person to Canada again (although unlikely with COVID and committing to a 14 day quarantine is a bit much as much as I love my partner) reading would suffice reading a setting outside of the US. I want to be safe and the vaccine isn’t exactly accessible at this point. Hopefully they will work out the kinks sooner or later, so books are my trains and planes.

8. Get Back Into the Community and Make More Friends

The thing I miss most about this community is the feeling of belonging and having people I can go to. Talking of opinions even if we don’t agree and sharing recommendations. I just dunno how to step back in. Hopefully this year I can figure this out.

9. Practising Self Care and Not Feeling Guilty about it

I have had so many days even this month where I feel guilty for not being able to do much physically because my body is screaming for rest. I want to learn to be gentle with myself, asking for help when I need it, and not pushing people away. Also in this when I am able to get things back in order is getting medical and mental health help, see a dermatologist, a orthapedist, etc. I know it seems simple but it’s getting over my fears and accepting my body for what it is and not fighting it anymore.

10. Write More Reviews

This circles back to my first goal and number 8, but how am I supposed to be strong in my own writing, if I am not brave enough to voice my own opinions. I want to build up my skills again and be proud of sense of voice again. I want to help the authors that I read and part of that is writing reviews. Now I am not committing to a number as of yet, but I would be proud to at least do 2, whether it is book or movie reviews.

Well that’s all for today. If you do want to keep up with what I am currently reading as always you can check my Goodreads and Insta(plus my insta has cute puppy stories!). I hope you all are staying warm, safe, and well. Do your part to help us all stay safe if you can please, because those of us that are at risk are finding it hard to be apart from the ones we love. Did you do this topic? What are your goals? Leave me the links or let me know in the comments below, please. Happy Reading!