Tag Archives: entertainment

Doctor Evil loses to Darth Vader and is frozen in carbonite.

Doctor Evil loses to Darth Vader and is frozen in carbonite.

Here’s an exclusive preview of the upcoming Star Wars sequel prequel sequel!

Two major badasses duke it out on the big screen… and after an epic battle between a wildly flashing light saber and a raised pinky, Darth Vader clobbers Doctor Evil! Gibberish-speaking, goggle-wearing, midget-sized, futuristic minions of the dark side then slowly lower Doctor Evil into the terrifying deep freeze pit and encase him in solid carbonite!

Here we see Doctor Evil’s agonized scream frozen for all time…another timeless image from what is certain to be a cinematic classic!

Hire a yodeler.

This yodeler might be available.
This yodeler might be available.

In the event you’d like to hire a professional yodeler, you have an outstanding resource. Yodelers can be found in every state of the union and can be employed for almost any festive occasion. Even birthday parties and wedding anniversaries.

Should you hire a professional yodeler in Juneau, Alaska, beware of cracking glaciers.

Giant picks nose, produces big money at box office.

Disgusting giants capturing a damsel.
Disgusting giants capturing a damsel.

The movie that prominently features a giant picking his nose and eating a booger has become subject of scandalous rumors on the internet.

According to an unnamed source who lives near Hollywood, it’s rumored that studio executives, fretting over a string of recent box office flops, spent hours in committee brainstorming how to draw movie audiences back to theaters. Finally, the idea of a spectacularly hideous CGI giant picking his nose and eating a colossal booger on screen was developed. According to this rumor, the concept was refined and thoroughly polled using dozens of panels comprised of ordinary moviegoers. Once the crucial booger-eating scene was green-lighted, a movie depicting rampaging giants, including one who devours enormous, congealed mucus, was formulated and heavily marketed.

Success. The movie has made millions.

A brave new world of dogs watching television.

Dog watching its favorite television show.
Dog watching its favorite television show.

You’ve parked your child in front of the boob tube. So surely Fido will be dazzled by TV, too. Right?

It seems everybody loves Dog TV. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone except your dog. But if your beloved pet could throw a few words together, would it recommend the doggie channel?

Fido blinks with interest as he watches a video of napping dogs. Couch potato Fido raises his head to catch the latest on fascinating bouncing balls. Fido rushes the screen thinking a squirrel has magically appeared in your living room. That rascally squirrel is more lifelike and vibrant than ever! Bark! Bark! Pounce–collision–ouch. All he’s left with is just a wet dog nose squashed up against the cold, lifeless screen.

Here comes that uncatchable squirrel again! Bark! Bark!

Ah, television marks the progress of an advanced civilization. Honey Boo Boo and the Kardashians and dog stars posing on camera for the edification of all. It’s a brave new world.

Next they’ll develop music for goldfish.

Was Voldemort inspired by Michael Jackson?

Voldemort and Michael Jackson would have liked this.
Voldemort and Michael Jackson would have liked this.

Here’s a very troubling question. Was Voldemort inspired by Michael Jackson?

The nose (or lack thereof), the pasty complexion, the obsession with a young boy…one can’t help but wonder if the evil Dark Lord Voldemort was the Second Coming of Michael Jackson…at least in the nefarious mind of the filmmaker.

An important line of inquiry has been opened up at this highly ranked website. It’s a burning question that most certainly must be on the minds of many.

Why is there no definitive answer? Why has no additional information come out? What is the reason for the obvious coverup?

Didn’t I glimpse a nascent Voldemort in the Thriller video?

Sinister, indeed.

World record marshmallow fight.

Ammunition is ready.
Ammunition is ready.

Thought you’d seen every possible weird and bizarre world record shattered? I bet you haven’t seen this! The verified, certified, world record largest ever marshmallow fight! Sweet! Look at those marshmallows fly! Now that’s what I call incredible edible elevated entertainment!

A pity a few weren’t spared for some hot cocoa or smores.