This shark is feeling very sad at the moment. That’s quite obvious.
I have absolute photographic proof that certain ravenous, cold-blooded eating machines are in fact very sensitive creatures. You might want to give this sad shark a great big loving hug. I’m sure you’ll be touched.
The food court of this unusual mall serves live hot dogs to hungry, costumed freaks. This photo provides the shocking evidence. A live hot dog is carried about on a tray by the smiling fast food server, and onlookers grin with anticipation and delight. Are these people really that twisted? Are they raving lunatics? One is even wearing a Spidey outfit! I’m appalled and dismayed. I’m surprised the city health department hasn’t shut this disgraceful place down.
There’s a truly amazing, effective weight loss solution…an all-natural, one hundred percent proven method that works every time!
Do you want to become thinner? Do you need to shed those extra, unsightly pounds? Have you desperately tried every type of diet?
Have you tried diets that are based on:
Low fat? Protein? High fiber? Vegetarianism or veganism? Organic food? Specially formulated nutritional milkshakes, prepackaged meals, or exactly portioned frozen dinners? Sea-based products? Predigested liquid protein? Mega doses of vitamins? Kosher food? Traditional Okinawan or Mediterranean food? Foods that contain so-called negative calories? Pills that increase your metabolism? Paleolithic food? Raw food? Fresh juice? Chinese herbs? Detox concoctions? Green tea, yogurt, grapefruit, cottage cheese, celery sticks, watermelon, cabbage soup or bean soup? Air-popped popcorn? Saltine crackers? Strict calorie-counting? Just one meal a day? Once-a-week binging? Nibbling between meals? Two sandwiches every day? Cookies? Those special diet snack bars?
But none of these seem to work?
What is the amazing solution?
Be hungry. Because when you’re hungry, you’re losing weight!
Yes, such an unusual person existed. His name was Michel Lotito. He was one very hungry dude. Hungry for attention, that is.
Bananas and hard-boiled eggs made him sick, but inorganic matter was quite satisfying. He ate:
18 bicycles
15 shopping carts
7 televisions (before there were flat screens)
6 chandeliers
2 beds (I’m not sure if they were bunk beds)
1 pair of skis (mere toothpicks compared to everything else)
1 Cessna aircraft
1 coffin (I’m surprised this didn’t cause indigestion)
1 400 meter long steel chain (for dessert)
Now sing along with Mary Poppins: “Just a teaspoon of mineral oil helps the metal go down…”
I’ll bet his dentist (and the plumber) really loved him!
life is VERY weird 